My very first psychedelic trip: 1.5g Shrooms.....wow...thank you so much

[moon777light]

first of all....wow, i am so grateful to be alive, the world is so magnificent. Thats probably the word to summarize all of my trip and life. MAGNIFICENT!!! Just thinking about it now i want to cry. Thank you so much for this forum and for actualized who introduced me to this part of life. Humbled 

SETTING: in my living room, on the couch. Trip sitter nearby. 6pm.

DOSE/METHOD: My initial plan was 1 gram. I lemon tekked 1g, but in the middle of the trip i ate the rest (+0.5g), so total 1.5g

MUSIC: Playlist of Ori soundtrack, journey soundtrack, and star wars music

~

Oh my goodness i dont know where to begin. I am bad at writing in general, let alone something as incredible as what happened.

First, i meditated 15 minutes as prep before, didnt do much, i was too jittery and nervous. i drank the lemon tek, put my headphones on, put my sleeping mask on, and waited. I started getting very impatient, nearly 40 minutes passed and nothing. No visuals, no weird feelings, nothing. I was convinced i am intolerant to shrooms. I dont exactly remember how, but the "visions" started. I hid underneath my blanket. The She led me. She showed me. I dont know who She is, all i know its a She. I remember seeing me as a super old woman, a crone, i had silver hair so long it reached passed my knees. I died. I was curled up in a fetus position and saw other faceless humans bury my into the ground, slowly as the dirt was thrown ontop of me, everything turned dark. Silence, nothing. Then all of a sudden...New Life!!!! I felt light as a feather, i moved, and just rose from the ground, zooming up up into the air!!!  Later there was another vision where i was looking at a face and the skeleton was aligned, it rested its head on its hand all took its last breath, and passed, i knew exactly the moment it passed, and when that happened, geometrical shapes arose from it and flowed on, to something else, i dont know what, It just felt like a "force" a liveing force, that connects all of us and gives us life. 

Then horror, i saw skeletons upon skeletons, human and other animals, all floating in gross swampy green thick water, slowly trudging downstream. Some steam was rising from it. It was pure death. It looked like a warning as to whats going to happen to our planet, what we are doing to poor Mother Earth. I felt such deep sadness for all those lost, all the life gone...

Then i remember looking at the blanket underneath and suddenly i saw a tiny eye. I was staring at this creature that was looking at me, and i couldnt believe how incredible it is that i, an entity, am observing another, and that other entity is observing me!!! It was so crazy, that there are 2 of us. just looking at each other. It seems weird but i cannot explain how beautiful it felt, such connection. 

I also looked at my hand a few times. The first time i saw my hand get all wrinkly, age rapidly, and thought, this is supposed to happen! this is Nature, Life! We are supposed to get wrinkly and pass on! Its all a part of the process!!! I felt like i had an a-ha! moment. ANother time i looked at my hand, i saw all the animals of the world, i saw a bear, and the bear ate the fish, then i saw schools of fish swimming, then a big cat, probably a puma or something, just all these animals of the world, changing, shifting into other beings, knowing its all connected, its all part of some big picture. I felt such lovingness and connection to nature....all i wanted to do was become some sort of National Geographic explorer going into these beautiful habitats and showing it to the world, to not forget this, to not forget this is US, this is what we came form, and this is what we will return to. WOw it was so magnificent. i love the Earth. At one moment i asked her whats do i do, and i kept hearing over and over again "You must follow your OWN path" THis was repeated what felt like 10 times. I still dont know what this exactly means, i mean it feels so generic. I asked for my purpose and she said im not ready for that yet..which sounds a little scary to me haha That was before the animals that i saw. 

I looked at my face in the mirror and aw it turn into a scary cat/dragon demon and was for a moment terrified but then i thought how can i be scared of myself???

I also heard woman chanting over and over, like a tribe, even though i know it wasnt part of the soundstrack i had on. 

^^^This all above was the main part, the visions part. Later ensued 2 hours of my crying really really hard about how life is so beautiful and i am so grateful for everyone in it and for me to have this experience on Earth. Everything has a purpose, everything is sacred. It was Magnificent. As i walked around i felt how amazing it is to move, its like i discovered my human body for the first time! I was laughing with pure joy several times as well.

 

The trip lasted very long, 8 hours, i tried to go to sleep at midnight but couldnt fall asleep until 2am because i was still "tripping". Which reminds me that i need to take shrooms much earlier, like a day where i am completely free. When i slept i had strange nightmares though. I also felt headache in the come down, almost hangover feeling that sucked.

Overall thats the main stuff i can remember. The main bits. There is so much more, but i cant remember it all right now and i feel very sleepy haha.

THANK YOU TO ALL FOR THIS! Thanks for actualized.org and @Leo Gura for introducing psychedelics to me! this is incredible and so beautiful and so MAGNIFICENT!!!!!

 

 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@moon777light Good. That was a nice newbie intro. Your mind is still very chaotic and random, which is why you had all those wacky visions.

As you do more, you must learn to focus your mind and contemplate the nature of reality rather than just going on joyride visions.

Visions are fun, scary, and interesting, but what really matters is getting down to understanding what consciousness is, and what YOU are.

So far you got a tiny taste of what consciousness can do: it is infinite imagination -- which is why you're able to have all those wacky visions. But you don't yet comprehend what consciousness in itself is and why it is here, or all of its many facets. You also probably don't understand how conscious in the trip connects with consciousness in "material reality". You have to build an intellectual bridge between your trips and "real life" until you realize that your "real life" is just another trip.

Keep your future doses low. You have much more to learn at these lower doses. Mushrooms can be extremely challenging at the 4g range and above. At 4g+ your old life and reality will start to completely disappear and you will enter the phantasms of your mind. Since your mind is chaotic and impure and lacks nondual understanding, you will encounter all sorts of horrors of your own imagination and you will start to go insane. 2 grams is a good solid dose to do lots of work with without totally freaking yourself out.

Try contemplating questions next time like:

• What is consciousness?
• What is reality?
• What is God?
• What is time?
• What is "other"?
• What is self? What am I?
• What is awakening?
• What is love?
• What is evil?
• What is the brain?
• What is death?
• What is nonduality?
• What is awakening?
• What is Oneness?
• What is intelligence?
• What is Will?
• Etc.

The next time you trip, realize that whatever your mind imagines gets materialized. If you start to think of elephants you will see elephants on the carpet. Wonder why does this happen? It happens because you are God imagining the world and the psychedelic removes the shackles on Infinite Mind.

Finally, turn your gaze directly inwards and ask, "What am I?!"

Be prepared for epic strange loops, paradox, and mindfuckery.

[moon777light]

@Leo Gura thank you for the advice

42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You have to build an intellectual bridge between your trips and "real life" until you realize that your "real life" is just another trip.

how do i get about doing this? Reading nondual philosophy and meditation?

And for contemplating questions, is it better to devote one trip for one question, example focus one whole trip on "what is love?" or to contemplate multiple questions? How do i contemplate this on trips, is it like asking the question or meditating upon it?

44 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The next time you trip, realize that whatever your mind imagines gets materialized. If you start to think of elephants you will see elephants on the carpet. Wonder why does this happen? It happens because you are God imagining the world and the psychedelic removes the shackles on Infinite Mind.

i never thought about it like that, i guess it really shows how we create our own reality, and how all that new age stuff like law of attraction truly works

[Bazooka Jesus]

Congratulations on popping your psychedelich cherry, my man!

Sounds like you were having an amazing experience for a first timer; it’s great how much you got out of 1.5g -- actually I am a little bit envious, lmao! Oh boy, you’ll have time of your fucking life on higher doses... hehe. But there’s no need to rush it; I think it’s best to ramp up the dosage veeeeery gradually until you feel you're ready for the Big Kahuna!

Personally, I don’t really ask specific questions when I embark on a trip; however, I always try to come up with a one word motto that hopefully will lead the trip in a certain direction right before I ingest my substance of choice. Those could be words like "healing", "self knowledge" or "clarity", depending on what I want to focus on at that specific time. Don’t completely overload your mind with a freaking catalogue of questions; remember that you basically want to get out of your mind during the trip. There’s no need to write a whole goddamn PhD thesis while tripping - you still have time for that afterwards.

Edited January 25, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[cetus]

14 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Congratulations on popping your psychedelich cherry, my man!

@Bazooka Jesus  moon777light is a female

[Nahm]

@moon777light Soooo happy for ya!! ♥️

[Bazooka Jesus]

@cetus56  Ooooops, my bad... next time I’ll keep it gender neutral, LOL

[Consilience]

Amazing ❤️

[Consilience]

4 hours ago, moon777light said:

how do i get about doing this? Reading nondual philosophy and meditation?

 

I know this was directed at Leo but I remember this insight quite well. I would say contemplate what is a trip? What is actually happening during a trip?

You’ll realize as you already experienced, that your mind and senses are all manifesting differently. You still have sight, taste, touch, sound, smell, mind while tripping as you do while sober, so what is actually changing during a trip? Well... if you recall Leo’s video on content vs. structure, you should notice psychedelics change the content of your experience, they don’t change the structure. So what is that overarching structure that remains the same across tripping and sobriety? And since structure isn’t changing, this means that the distinction between one set of content being different from another set of content doesn’t really mean much, experiential content is in a permanent state of impermanence regardless of the specific content. Sleepy, hungry, happy, excited, tripping, high, drunk, sober, bored, flow states, etc. 

So then again, what is this structure? It turns out that when certain content is being played out in experience such as tripping we can more easily see what this structure of experience/reality really is, and this is where the profound insights from psychedelics arise, they arise by becoming conscious of structure at deeper and deeper levels. AND, you realize this structure has always been true, even while sober. And so from a certain pov, you’re really just going through one big trip as you live life.  

[moon777light]

@Bazooka Jesus @cetus56 its ok guyz  thanks for advice!

@Nahm thank you!!

@Consilience

4 hours ago, Consilience said:

you should notice psychedelics change the content of your experience, they don’t change the structure. So what is that overarching structure that remains the same across tripping and sobriety?

uu thats a good question

4 hours ago, Consilience said:

they arise by becoming conscious of structure at deeper and deeper levels

but how to become conscious of structure? as an intention?

[Consilience]

35 minutes ago, moon777light said:

but how to become conscious of structure? as an intention?

Yep that’s part of it  You can become conscious of structure through extremely focused and persistent contemplation that has the set intention to become conscious, or it sometimes arises during meditation or sometimes totally spontaneously. You may set the intention to become conscious as your attention, mind, and entire being focus in on the question at hand. Leo’s list is a great place to start. 

 

10 hours ago, moon777light said:

The first time i saw my hand get all wrinkly, age rapidly, and thought, this is supposed to happen! this is Nature, Life! We are supposed to get wrinkly and pass on! Its all a part of the process!!! I felt like i had an a-ha! moment.

This is an example of becoming conscious, specifically of the structure of life. This a-ha moment was a breakthrough, but it sounded like it spontaneously arose. Contemplation is like the way to have more of these a-ha moments but it’s more directed. 

Anyways, this was all great! It sounded like a beautiful experience and Im sure you’ll continue to have breakthroughs with and without psychedelics  

[moon777light]

@Consilience ah it makes a bit more sense now  i am so excited for future adventures

As for day after feels, i feel so incredibly fatigued, tired and have pressure in my head. But i read its kinda normal? Since serotonin gets depleted during the trip, it makes sense for me to feel like crap 

[Bazooka Jesus]

@moon777light This is normal at first. The nice thing is that not only do the trips get more meaningful the more you trip, but it will also become easier and easier for you to recover from them

[moon777light]

@Bazooka Jesus oh thats a relief to hear haha i was worried that the stronger the trip the worse it is to recover lol. Its so strange, its like i can feel my brain is rewiring, like i forgot how to react to things, i started getting tired of overthinking, and i just feel...different. 

[Bazooka Jesus]

@moon777light Yup, welcome to mushroom wonderland

[Leo Gura]

Mushrooms tend to be one of the few psychedelics which can produce a hangover for me. Long and deep mushroom trips can be exhausting, requiring another day of rest.

Other psychedelics I no hangovers from.

[OBEler]

I get Hangovers with Allad every second time. What is strange is, either I get a 100 % hangover or no one. 

[Lynnel]

On 25/01/2020 at 4:05 PM, Consilience said:

So what is that overarching structure that remains the same across tripping and sobriety?

Wait I just realized - it's awareness or more like literaly nothing. That's a very great question to ask.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, OBEler said:

I get Hangovers with Allad every second time. What is strange is, either I get a 100 % hangover or no one. 

Hangovers could be due to lack of nutrients for the brain. Fuel yourself up with antioxidants and other brain supplements after the trip. I've heard this can really help with MDMA hangovers, which means it should also work on all types of hangovers.