Trip Report - LSD in nature, A bear or just my mind?

[okulele]

The setting

2 or 3 weeks ago I packed my bag in the late afternoon and hiked into the forest. My very first insight was, that the human, and particularly the human mind, is very very noisy in contrast with nature. All of nature, even when making sounds, is quiet. Just the mind is constantly disturbed and disturbing.   When I was far enough and was sure I would not be disturbed by any humans I built my tent and started mediating until the evening. I lay down and had a terrible  night's sleep on a very uncomfortable surface.

In the morning I woke up around 5am and started meditating. I was reluctant to get out of the tent, as it was pretty cold, but after a while I took a short walk. I was at a really beautiful place - a pine forest surrounding a small meadow. Ideal location for a trip.

 

The LSD

Around 8am I took 200mcg of LSD.

It came up very quick. I was sitting in my tent meditating again, when my consciousness was transformed - my sens of self was very much loosened up and it was really easy to get deep into meditation, but also a lot of tough stuff was coming up.

 

The main insight

After a while I went out into the meadow and had a startling realization. I love nature. As this though came into my mind a lot of resistance appeared - 'That's really weird.', 'What a freak!', 'Nature boy!' and so on and so on. I realized that I was programmed by my society to reject nature. I was deeply conditioned. I gave it up and declared my love towards nature openly. I said - I love you - to all that was surrounding me from the bottom of my heart.

Just like that, the duality between me and nature collapsed. What was present was nature. I was just one of the things in there. And what very much surprised me was that nature was very happy. Every tree, every bush, every insect and my body also was extremely joyful. I never noticed before.

I was reminded of the taoist paintings of nature, where the human is just a small thing in one of the corners. Insignificant really, just one of the creatures hanging around the forest. Like this:

Nature is the thing that was not created by the ego and that is why our love for it was banned by our culture. It's a shame, really. We are afraid of nature, and inside we love it so much.

 

Nature as a healer

For the rest of the day I was walking around the forest and the meadow very slowly and allowed for the various beings there to heal me. By beings I mean the trees, the grass, the sky the earth. Believe it or not, they are all very intelligent in their own way. It seemed like every plant had a lesson for me. Each leaf allowed me to project my shadow onto itself and teach me about reality. I understood what shamanism means.

 

The depths of the body

The trip seemed never ending. After about 7-8 hours my consciousness was still over the roof. I sat in my tent again and started breathing and feeling my body. I quickly went very, very deep inside discovering that there are entire dimensions inside of the body. Beautiful dimensions full of colorful mandalas and also hellish ones full of dark abysses. What an exploration! There is so much to discover right in here!

 

The ego had enough

It was around 8pm. I was tripping and meditating for the whole day and the mind begged me to stop. I would not give up, I was committed to doing a few more hours that day. The mind would threaten and beg again. It would try to talk me out of it. It tried all the tricks.

 

The predator

Suddenly I realized something was moving in the forest near me. I really sensed it before I heard it. It seemed big. My whole body went into fight or flight mode. Total terror. In a minute or so, I could hear it coming, breaking a few branches and sniffing very loudly. Just imagine my mind! It was going fucking crazy! Crazy, crazy!

"It's a bear! I'm gonna die! That's it! It's gonna tear me apart!"

Countless images of a huge bear eating the whole tent in one bite and so on.

I was in a deep state of terror, but also very pleased in the back of my mind that I can work through this fear of death.

In a minute, my rational mind kicked in saying.

"Well, the ego might be right this time. You can get enlightened, but if you get eaten here, that's not much of a win."

I had to give in. It was time for the ego this time. It won.

When the sniffing stopped and the big guy left, I calmed my racing heart, and quickly ran away leaving the tent and all my stuff behind.

 

What was it really?

As I was far away and calmed down, I looked at the tracks on the ground. Just dear tracks. Oh man, I thought, the mind tricked me to leave in the end! I ran from a dear. But who knows...

 

My message

I am sharing this mostly because I think many people here don't trip in nature, don't do inner work in nature, don't encounter nature much. Nature is a kind of shadow of the human ego as a whole. We denied it and there is a great wound inside of us because of it. So... get in the forest and love nature again

[ThinAir]

Great story ?  thanks for sharing.

Beeing in such a situation on acid, puhh.. I image to be hella intense.

In a couple of days i will leave the city, pack my tent and go camping in nature. Haven't done this since last summer, i rly have a strong craving for Nature. 

And I'm going to bring a bunch of psychodelica too. 

[Nahm]

@okulele Great share, thanks! Nature ♥️??      The snake is a rope, the bear is a deer! lol! 

[Forestluv]

Very nice. I immersed myself in nature yesterday and my self dissolved into it. Similar to what you wrote, I was amazed by how strongly my mind and body resonated with nature. Nature is a profound teacher and guide. It holds no expectations or agenda. Nature is absolute genuine. . . I can let go and go much deeper in nature than with other humans. I can be hyper sensitive to human energies and awkwardness and anxiety may arise. Yet in nature, that dynamic is not in play and layer after layer can dissolve without anxiety. . . It is so healing, it’s as if nature baths the minds body in healing energy and drains out unhealthy conditioning. I spent several hours laying in nature yesterday. Thoughts, worries and stories dissolved and simply Being arose. And simply Being nature is wonderful ♥️ 

[reves]

@okulele Awesome! I live near the forest and while the first hours of the trip I like to spend the at home (meditating, introspecting and just being) also because I find it pretty hard to move around when I use psychedelics. But once the first part of the trip has passed I like to go out to hike on the many roads here and get into the forest for a couple of hours. Sometimes it is as if the forest were calling me and I just go there for a couple of hours and find it marvelous, and from time to time I hear a deer and get totally scared. I guess instinct is one of the most hardest things to beat, so better run and find another spot to meditate than be eaten by something

[Leo Gura]

I stumbled into a bear once on LSD. It was a real bear.

[Rilles]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I stumbled into a bear once on LSD. It was a real bear.

Oh my god. You need to write a blog post on that one. 

[kieranperez]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I stumbled into a bear once on LSD. It was a real bear.

Oh god how did that turn out?

@okulele what a beautiful post! I am so with you on the East’s way of portraying nature. Very deeply inspiring and also healing. Taoist and Chan and Zen arts portrayal of the “enlightened relationship” between mankind and nature is deeply moving to me cause I definitely feel that when I’m out there not even meditating per say. 

Gotta ask since I got 2 tabs of LSD on me, what were you meditating on in terms of direction of concentration/contemplation?

[okulele]

I kept attending the breath and the body. Spontaneously there were some questions to contemplate coming up like - "Where is the border between me and nature?" - these helped me get my breakthroughs.

[Bluebird]

I stumbled into a police officer once (or twice) on LSD... It was a real police officer.

I too have a feeling that the "police officer" was the barrier to enlightenment, a great fear of mine which if I surrendered to in that moment would have been all good. Alas, I too turned away.

Edited June 6, 2019 by Bluebird

[okulele]

Ok, all clear now.

I went camping to the same place yesterday and spotted a group of wild boars. Maybe 5-6 adult ones and 10-15 piglets. A happy family.

Anyway, I didn't stay there for the night, as I planned. It's their territory and I can be grateful for the mild treatment I received lat time.

[Leo Gura]

Wild boars are no joke. They will fuck you up.

Careful tripping outdoors. Only for expert psychonauts.

[okulele]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Wild boars are no joke. They will fuck you up.

Yeah, I'm aware of that. Fortunately I was on a lookout tower when I saw them and left the place right away.

[kieranperez]

@okulele where were you camping if I may ask  

[okulele]

@kieranperezI live very close to these forested hills. 30 minutes walk from my house and I am in the wild wild. There is a place where the forest opens up into a small meadow + there is a lookout tower, which is amazing. No humans, very peaceful. Just deer, squirrels, and yes, wild boars

[Anton_Pierre]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Wild boars are no joke. They will fuck you up.

Careful tripping outdoors. Only for expert psychonauts.

Leo uses Shiva Shambho