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About Bluebird

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  1. @Chumbimba Play it by ear, don't be too hard on yourself either. Back to back like that would be intense.
  2. I love you man ❤️ Your first step in self-love is underway. Can you FEEL how much pressure you put on yourself to impact the world, do things right, have vision, feel a certain way, be the best (mimicking MJ), etc. Part 1 Self-love is firstly an act of emotional release. Sit down and realise how cruel you are to yourself, you won't even let yourself feel the sadness/depression. You won't let yourself just be you, you're subconsciously spitting in your own face. Sit there until you feel this, if you start to cry that's great, if not, that's great. The worse you feel here initially the better. Don't think, or let lost in thoughts here, just feel and maybe use thoughts to trigger the feeling if you start to lose it. Put on some emotional music that you like to help get you going: Part 2 Pull up a photo of yourself (maybe one you don't like, where you feel a little ugly). Then look at it and FEEL until you really grasp that deep down you do love yourself. Don't force it, it'll happen or it won't. This is just based on my personal experience with developing self-love over the past few months. Much love to you man ❤️
  3. I've had this same thought. But what exactly is rock bottom? How deep you think you can go? Narcotics, Rape, Murder, Jail, Suicide? Where does it end, surely there is always a lower low you can get to and a higher high. Guess what, if from this moment onwards you commit to doing what you want then this moment will literally be rock bottom for you. But you don't need to turn everything around, nor can you. Just pick something to do and do it every day. Start by reading a book every day, commit to reading at least one word in a book every day just one word inside the book and commit 100% no exceptions for 60 days. Make it a book you're interested in as well (maybe one on procrastination or psychology or depression). Read Loving What Is by Byron Katie and then do The Work on the belief "I need to hit rock bottom". Good luck!
  4. @cle103 Find 3 reasons why this COULD be true. Then go through a whole worksheet on this. Also, stay with the emotion of anger you feel for a while, maybe 2 - 10 minutes until it shifts and dissipates. Then you can see clearer.
  5. You can also do The Work on dreams that cause negative emotions just as powerfully as "real" experiences.
  6. "Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves." - Nisargadatta Maharaj
  7. @Wisebaxter I do have a trip report yes. the 150ug is more of the trip report as I experienced memory loss until the integration trips.
  8. @Tistepiste When you awaken, the entire world awakens with you.
  9. @How to be wise Looking forward to it.
  10. I'd say do one tab. Never know what might come up, it could be very profound, or maybe not. You might even see the infinite beauty of your own life and that you decided in advance to put yourself through all this out of love Who knows where it could go 💗but you won't know if it's right until you do it. The more you can just relax into it, the better it goes. Be sure to write up a report if you do decide to go ahead!
  11. @kieranperez I'll report on how I go with increasing baseline level of consciousness but of course I can't verify if the modafinil is playing a major role since I'll be doing many other consciousness activities on and off and also psychedelics every now and again. Happy to let you know how it goes though.
  12. @kieranperez Too early to tell personally, but even after one session I feel my self-inquiry has improved slightly. It's a bit like psychedelics in that when you meditate on them you quickly understand what meditation is meant to be like. Then when sober you have an idea of what you're looking for, which is pretty helpful.
  13. You sound like me. I was exactly the same, I wanted ego death and so upped my dosages each time to get it. When I took 600ug of LSD within 20 minutes I knew it was coming for me, but I was so ready for it. Yet I really didn't handle it well at all, although I thought I did at the time. Let's just say when you "die" shit can get weird as you are no longer in control and so "God" will give you whatever you need to get. But the ego won't necessarily like it. For me that was being handcuffed by police and working through one of my deepest fears of insanity/losing touch with reality/everything going to shit. Go for higher doses to get that breakthrough, or just find some 5-MeO ceremony or something. But if you do a new high dose, 300, 450, 600, etc I recommend using a trip sitter. I really did learn that the hard way and maybe you will too. Either way, even when your deepest fears LITERALLY start manifesting themselves in reality, just flow with it and stay present without projecting the fears onto the situation. Realise a handcuff is just a handcuff not the story you put on it. My 600ug trip was the most beautiful and profound trip of my life. That was 6 months ago and slowly my consciousness has been increasing as I integrate things from that trip.
  14. Has anyone taken one of Peter Ralston's eCourses? I'm interested and will likely end up investing in one but was wondering if anyone here has had experience wiht his eCourses. Of course they will be different to the in person retreats, but still seem valuable if you can maintain the discipline.
  15. @Barna Struggling with this question myself. Psychedelics make you ask this real seriously.