Why All The Egos Strive/Want to Be The Best?

[SQAAD]

I'm getting sick & tired of Spiral Dynamics Stage Orange... Today i did contemplate outside in Nature & i realised that this neurotic desire to be the best at what i do was imprinted to me by society & is not what my authentic self really wants. I just want to be the best version of myself & have Peace of Mind first and foremost!

I don't care no more being better than other egos. It is really draining me psychologically all this comparing BS.

Why all the ego want to be the best? What are the mechanics behind this neurotic behaviour?

From my observations being the best does not make you any more ore less happy. It is a distraction.

Edited May 19, 2019 by SQAAD

[Conrad]

Why? It's how everything ought to be. It can only be the way it already is. You will realize this, become conscious of this when you become conscious that it's simply God, it's simply the one and only, the Apsolute which is All, including you and the ego. There is no division in reality, no seperation. Only The One. And you are It.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Conrad said:

Why? It's how everything ought to be. It can only be the way it already is. You will realize this, become conscious of this when you become conscious that it's simply God, it's simply the one and only, the Apsolute which is All, including you and the ego. There is no division in reality, no seperation. Only The One. And you are It.

That doesn't answer the question.

[SQAAD]

@Conrad

11 minutes ago, Conrad said:

Why? It's how everything ought to be. 

Well i am not playing the game of being the best anymore. 

Best body, best author, best meditator, best eyes, best legs,  best music, best retreat , best food, best female, best book, best programmer, best speaker etc. It's an absurd obsession.

Stage Orange tells you all the time to be the best . It all about being the best. If you are not the best then you are a loser . And if you are the best then you are still as empty inside.

But this is a game you cannot win longterm (being the best). 

Edited May 19, 2019 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Shin

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

That doesn't answer the question.

Indeed

[Conrad]

Just now, Shin said:

That doesn't answer the question.

It does. Reality simply just cannot be any other way when you realize that it's all the one and only, the God. It's in this understanding that you understand everything simply because you do.

[Conrad]

8 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Conrad

Well i am not playing the game of being the best anymore. 

Best body, best author, best meditator, best eyes, best legs,  best music, best retreat , best food, best female, best book, best programmer, best speaker etc. It's an absurd obsession.

Stage Orange tells you all the time to be the best . It all about being the best. If you are not the best then you are a loser . And if you are the best then you are still as empty inside.

But this is a game you cannot win longterm (being the best). 

That's how it ought to be. Doesn't mean you can't transcend this game of the ego-mind, you have to see trough the joke that it is and play another game ?

[Shin]

https://youtu.be/VauHIuyPwkM

If you from wall street to ...  prison ...

... Then ...

... It's much easier !

Edited May 19, 2019 by Shin

[Inliytened1]

@SQAAD Good! Thats the first step.  You've called out/identified your own devilry and now you can begin to go meta on it.  That's a great sign of growth as a human being.

[universe]

Well it depends on what you define as being the best.

But if you mean it like in being "successfull" like making a lot of money, banging a lot of chicks, being on the higher end of the social hierachy. Then its because of survival. The ego is constantly in fear of being erased. Of dieying. So the number one interest for the ego is survival. The more ressources, the better. Then comes validation. Because like foreign countries, it doesnt exist if no one acknowledges its existence.

Then there come many other things it wants and how it does what it does to suck power and validation from you.

Yes, stage orange dictates this behaviour. The ego follows it because its the best way for survival in orange world.

[SQAAD]

@Inliytened1

8 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@SQAAD Good! Thats the first step.  You've called out/identified your own devilry and now you can begin to go meta on it.  That's a great sign of growth as a human being.

Thank you! It is never enough though for the ego-mind. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

@SQAAD My way of looking at this would be since I was quite pissed at orange for some time. That it is important to recognize that trigger, since it is something that you could potentially deny in yourself.

For instance, I used to get triggered by competitive freaks in sports, because they always wanted to fight the bigger or better seeming person and even though I am not better than them. It scared me, like what kind of psychopathic freak get's so hyped about a competition that he forgets fair play, etc.

Yet, now doing shadow work and even way back in my mind, I noticed that I kept thinking in similar terms of total domination, with basically a disregard for human life. That sounds extreme, yet I sometimes had these moments and I basically felt like a stage red power god in soccer. Watch any new uprising star and you will see some strong stage red drives of glory, power and domination.

Yet with the issue of wanting to be the best, I mean competition is one driving force for humans to grow without competition we would not even have a hierarchy or heterarchy. We would not mate, we would not have a market etc. Wanting to be the best or greatest or brightest is one things humans want to achieve. 

I can understand quite well that you are sick of it 

51 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

I just want to be the best version of myself & have Peace of Mind first and foremost!

I never read up on yet, yet I changed my mindset of instead of becoming better. To reach basically flow states, excelling and performing in what I do and not to become number one. Becoming better or excelling or performing is a process. By reframing from being the best in case this causes comparison, you can say to yourself that you want to achieve excellence, or do it just for the sake of doing it. In that regard, it would be more "selfless" and the comparison stops. 

You can ask yourself and test, what does your authentic self want and come up with a list. Then test it and see what comes out in the end and adopt a mindset of doing the activity for the sake of the activity. Or use nlp or cbt to re-frame the believes around the socially programmed notions of being and becoming better.

 

[Shin]

Just now, SQAAD said:

@Inliytened1

Thank you! It is never enough though for the ego-mind. 

Of course it's never enough.

What the ego tries to do is to become God, to feel complete.

He already is, so no matter what he does it's never enough.

The primordial catch 22 lol

[SQAAD]

@universe

17 minutes ago, universe said:

Well it depends on what you define as being the best.

 

I see everywhere around me people who have more that they can ask for in terms of survival and still they are never satisfied. If you have 10 million dollars then the ego-mind will want to compete with those who have billions of dollars.

You have a 100.000 subscribers? Now you want 1 million subscribers.

You are champion in your sport? Now you want to be remembered as the best ever, you care about your fictitious legacy.

If you have a nice body, then you take steroids to compete with those are more gifted than you.

If you have a nice wife, still you wanna bang other women.

It is never enough for the ego. Never. 

Edited May 19, 2019 by SQAAD

[Shin]

[Shadowraix]

Being the best maximizes survival. It's just been abstracted a bit as our society evolves in complexity. Those who maximized it survived the best. 

Edited May 19, 2019 by Shadowraix

[zambize]

1 hour ago, SQAAD said:

I'm getting sick & tired of Spiral Dynamics Stage Orange... Today i did contemplate outside in Nature & i realised that this neurotic desire to be the best at what i do was imprinted to me by society & is not what my authentic self really wants. I just want to be the best version of myself & have Peace of Mind first and foremost!

I don't care no more being better than other egos. It is really draining me psychologically all this comparing BS.

Why all the ego want to be the best? What are the mechanics behind this neurotic behaviour?

From my observations being the best does not make you any more ore less happy. It is a distraction.

Well there were other times where resources were more scarce and our survival was more depending on dominating other people and creating an image of someone who is to be respected.  I'm sure it was a survival advantage to exaggerate how strong you are in order to protect yourself.  We see it all over in the animal kingdom, some animals have found really beautiful ways to make themselves seem one up on anyone who might want to cause them harm.  Now times have changed and we dont need to act like that anymore to survive, but we still need society to be concious enough to realize that there are some things like this that can be let go of.  I think we are heading there 

[Ananta]

1 hour ago, SQAAD said:

Why all the ego want to be the best? What are the mechanics behind this neurotic behaviour?

Not all ego's want to be the classic "best" ego.

Some want to be the best at being the "worst" (criminals, addicts, etc), the most depressed, most "spiritual" or most, woe is me, "sick".

Haven't you recognized ego's that get stuck in these groups? 

As long as the ego feels that it has a "strong identity", that's what's most important to it, even if it's miserable!

 

Edited May 20, 2019 by Anna1

[SQAAD]

@Anna1

7 hours ago, Anna1 said:

Not all ego's want to be the classic "best" ego.

Some want to be the best at being the "worst" (criminals, addicts, etc), the most depressed, most "spiritual" or most, woe is me, "sick".

Haven't you recognized ego's that get stuck in these groups? 

As long as the ego feels that it has a "strong identity", that's what's most important to it, even if it's miserable!

 

Yes you are right.

For me clinging to being the best or clinging being the worst is the same neurotic behaviour. The ego wants to feel special in both ocassions.

Edited May 20, 2019 by SQAAD

[Charlotte]

To strengthen the form of identity. In ANY direction.