theking00

Porn addiction

32 posts in this topic

@Shin I would be very interested in reading further about what you wrote here. Especially the part about being able to control your sexual urges. 

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

I will make a more complete post later

But what can I say from personal experience, is that quitting porn and masturbation will give you complete control on your sexual urges on the long term (obviously with proper consciousness/shadow work alongside).

Don't think of this as a luxury, it's mandatory if you want to have great sex and maintain a relationship with a very high quality woman.

 


Alternative Rock Music and Spirituality on YouTube: The Buddha Visions

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Just be aware of how much your life will improve after quitting porn. I haven't watched it for five months now and I'm happier, more confident and energetic than ever before. Women can also secretly tell if you're a wanker and, spoiler alert, they hate it.

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Damn right I am saving this topic! All this advice sure has got to help me out. 

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I'm suffering the same thing really badly. I've been getting professional help for 1 1/2 years now and I'm still not cured. Yet I have learned some things, I just wanna share my experiences with you, so maybe that helps. 

1. Definitely look for professional help like a therapist, coach etc. I don't know if there are those options where you live. As porn addiction is not yet classified as an actual disease in the psychology manuals, there is no real therapy to it yet. However, there are some programs dedicated to curing porn addiction and I think the principles of behavioral-cognitive therapy and of other treatment methods regarding addiction might work out as well. They help at least. 


2. Understand that what you're suffering from is the same brain-mechanism that crackheads and hardcore drug addicts suffer from. This is not an issue of free will in my opinion, you are not to blame. Don't hate yourself. See yourself as struggling with a huge problem. You are capable and responsible for the steps you take to change this condition, but don't hate yourself for indulging in PMO or consuming it. 


3. This is a big one for me: You are not really able to abstain, when there is pornographic material available to you. If you have your phone and your PC with you and you're alone, you won't have control about that. That means: Think of ways for how to block the access to pornography. This is the first step, to just not watch it any more. Personally, I have found ways to block all the potentially dangerous sites from my PC and I always lock my cell phone far away from me - in the basement - when I'm at home and I don't get it until I'm heading outside. I have another cell phone inside my appartment, which can only send messages, so I can stay in contact with people. I have deinstalled every potentially dangerous app from that phone, including Instagram, Youtube and even the internet browser. 


4. Find out what your triggers are. In which situations are you mostly compelled to watch porn and masturbate? In which times of the day? What feelings arise? What function does the addiction play? Because it definitely serves a purpose, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be there. For me it's mainly a way of dealing with loneliness and it's keeping me unconscious because living consciously still feels painful to me. I also use it to procrastinate. I get cravings only when I'm alone and mostly in the morning. 


5. Mindfulness really really helps. When cravings arise, try to focus on them, feel them and not react. Often times you will discover that there is an underlying emotion, with which the craving helps you to cope with. Feel that and accept it


6. Read more about the addiction and addiction in general. It will give you understanding but mostly it will keep the topic on your mind. Your brain is a sneaky bastard, especially when you're an addict. I was already in therapy for 1 1/2 years and I just recently fully understood that this is a serious issue that might actually destroy my life and it should be my top priority to get rid of this. Be conscious of the severity of the issue. 

7. Get people to talk with about the issue. Maybe the NoFap community, maybe you know some people in real life, who are suffering from a similar issue. An "accountability partner" is also a good idea. These people should understand the seriousness of the issue and not play it down, but at the same time understand you and not be judgemental. 

And lastly remember: FAILURE IS PART OF THE PROCESS! RELAPSES DO NOT MEAN SETBACKS. So don't get discouraged. 
 

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this is what I did. 

I realized how porn caused lots of problems in my life and caused me much suffering so I got all porn sites blocked on my laptop !!!

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Do you have a girlfriend? Otherwise you should talk to doctor

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when i watch porn its because im board and at home and i have nothing to do im addicted....as leo says if you cant go 7 days without thinking about it or doing it then you are addicted...im just trying to sugar coat it lol. point is find out why you watch porn whats your reason for me its because i like watching sex and find it fun i stopped feeling guilty for watching it long time ago now.....use awareness to overcome it awareness alone is curative video is good start thats what im doing to work on my problems. good luck mate and have fun with the process.

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You are addicted to have porn, and almost every day you are the masturbation. Work with it, doing to trick like meditiation. Or another thing is like (casual) date from Tinder.com, AnyFlirts.com, Flirt, etc. Or you can go out much more, meet the people. In the daytime there is lots of things to do, like park, shoppings, cafes, or in the event there are discos, etc. Or you can combine them.
Good luck B|

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On 5/15/2019 at 11:49 PM, theking00 said:

How can I cure my porn addiction? Porn has ruined my mind. I am addicted to porn since I was 18 years old and now I am 27 years old and I am still addicted to it. 

Watch the videos of P0rn brain rewire, Dr. Trish Leigh on YouTube. You need to get to the root of your addiction. You need to know why you want to quit P0rn and what the alternative vision for yourself is. Maybe you should even invest in a program.

When it comes to not watching P0rn anymore you need to make it as hard as humanly possible to do the behaviour. You need a smart system of blockers so you can't easily access any adult websites. If P0rn is only one click away it's no wonder if you easily relapse.

But also treat the more fundamental issues, like your self esteem and trauma issues if you have any. And start going out, meeting girls and having real sex.

For some time you could do nofap. But if you can't take it anymore then by all means just jerk off to your own sexual thoughts. Try to use thoughts that are not super p0rnish but more like real sex is.

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Take a broader perspective on addictions. Read the best books on addictions so you get a mental map and understanding of your problem. 

The problem is not your porn addiction. If you find a way to defeat it, it will be replaced by another addiction. 

What they say is that addiction is a distraction from suffering, trauma and deep hurt that you don't want to face. If you have a off day. Lock yourself into a room and do nothing. Don't even think: that is another distraction. Let the shit come up but you need to be prepared mentally as I said. Get therapy if possible. 


In Tate we trust

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There is only one true lasting cure for porn addiction or any other form of sexual compulsive behaviour: committed persistence.

You must commit to changing your relationship with sexual actvities and then persist until you are in control of your sexual energy rather than your sexual energy being in control of you.

I have struggled/suffered / still am struggling/suffering from this, and all I can say is dont give up.

BYOT - Be your own therapist. No one will care about your recovery more than you. I did therapy for 4 years and it helped, but "it" didnt "cure" me, because I was not ready / mature enough to be cured. Only you can cure yourself when you are ready to quit / had enough suffering. 

Read, read, read BOOKS (not articles or forums) about addiction, recovery, sexual trauma, sexual compulsion, etc. 

I have personally drawn strength from Buddhism.

Create a sexual recovery plan listing which behaviours are acceptable for you to engage in, and which behaviours you deem unacceptable for you to engage in.

Keep a CBT journal using the ABC method (Activator/Trigger, Behaviour, Consequences) whenever you experience urges to engage in or actually engage in detrimental sexual behaviour.

Be mindful of when you slip into "lower self" behaviours and try to shift your consciousness back to "higher self" awareness.

Improve other areas of your life (nutrition, exercise, sleep, environment, work, stress, etc)

Remember that "you" are infinitely greater than your sexual behaviours, your sexual thoughts, or your mind.

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