Sidra

WTF am I supposed to do ?!

63 posts in this topic

@Shin I see what u mean !

Yea could be ! But I can't deny that being restricted does drag me dowm 

I accept them n I don't wanna change them or anything ! It's just too much !

I can't even go for a decent walk if I wanted to !!

I don't know if u could imagine how really hard it would be having to live completely controlled ! Esp if ure a person who values freedom and authenticity !

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1 minute ago, Sidra said:

@Shin I see what u mean !

Yea could be ! But I can't deny that being restricted does drag me dowm 

I accept them n I don't wanna change them or anything ! It's just too much !

I can't even go for a decent walk if I wanted to !!

I don't know if u could imagine how really hard it would be having to live completely controlled ! Esp if ure a person who values freedom and authenticity !

No I can't, and I'm sorry I can't help you more.

With that much desire to be free, with proper contemplation, you could awaken pretty fast though,

And those problems wouldn't be seen as much of as a problems.

 


There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled

You feel it, don't you ? - Rumi

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@now is forever @now is forever @Shin yep this I see is the best choice !

I can apply for a scholarship to study abroad so I can get a study visa and in the meantime I can work to pay the pills !

How abt that ?

Do u know of other ways to get the visa ?

N why would u suggest European countries specifically ?

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If your visa can allow you to study somewhere else that would be good.

I would advise you somewhere where the study year is not pricy, like really cheap.

In France it's cheap as of now, but I heard it will cost way more for outsiders unfortunately.


There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled

You feel it, don't you ? - Rumi

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@Sidra

The reality is that you can't do anything at this point, you have to accept that, you're too young and vulnerable, and you still don't know what you really want.

I mean by running away from trouble, you'd create a lot more trouble.

You have to face reality, not run away from it.

And I'm speaking from experience, I kept struggling, suffering, and failing until I realised that I was imagining things and running away from reality.

You CAN certainly change your parents, I did. But it will take time and it requires patience and compassion for them. We'll talk more about that in private.

And like Shin said, don't rush anything, be very careful about what you decide to do, keep asking here, and keep listening to my advice 😉

More in private.. See ya!

❤️

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9 hours ago, Sidra said:

 

N why would u suggest European countries specifically ?

well i would not recommend the united states because there you need to pay study fees. you could also go to a south american country or to russia or asia - but ultimately if you run from islamic dogmatism you’d want to go to a non muslim country. i suggested europe because there are already women from other muslim countries who have very similar experiences - you could find communities there to support you mentally. and if you still want to be in contact with religious people you can do that, too. but be aware that it will not be easy as europe also struggles with some kind of counter reaction to the refugee waves, the fear of too many, so you will also find people who will be hostile or unfriendly towards strangers. and it might also be difficult to get accepted to a university because there are already a lot in the waiting loop. so i’d probably try a selection of countries to get the chances up - i’d try to figure out which countries would fit the best for you. i suppose at the moment as a girl you’d even have more chances than as a guy.

Edited by now is forever

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@Sidra

there are other options but i would not suggest them as all of them bear a lot of risks of either loosing a lot of money or more. 

you could maybe try to get support by a woman’s rights organisation, i don’t know, maybe you’d even find study support in that direction in the usa but well yeah, i would not count on that entirely, as they also probably have their hands full.

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12 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

It's not like that in Syria.

Your advice might work in America, Europe, and other free countries.

But here, it's become very difficult for a guy to become financially independent, and for girls, it's nearly impossible both before and during the war.

The best thing for Sidra to do is to become in alignment with her parents, so that she gains their support, until she graduates from university, and after that she gets to decide what's next.

Here in Syria, a full time job can barely pay your rent, food is very expensive, transportation is expensive, currency is at its worst.

Or, a miracle can happen right now and change everything for Sidra. I hope so.

Wow, this thread is so interesting, thank you for contributing!

10 hours ago, Shin said:

Also you need to understand Sidra,

Freedom is totally internal and not external, you can be free even in your situation.

Of course you would prefer to be free physically too, and that will most likely happen if you're patient,

But in the meantime you could use this difficult situation of yours to free yourself for real, by seeing what you are existentially speaking.

In a sense, you have an environment and a desire that could make that possible for you extremely fast.

It's the tough situations in life that forces us to awaken, this or an intense desire to know the Truth.

Everything else is a luxury and paradoxically can work against it.

 

This! You can become so much more free, if you free yourself from prejudice and assumptions. I know it's a lot easier to do here in Europe, than it is to do in Syria, but I think you can still do it. You are one of the strongest people I've met Sidra :) 

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well it depends who and if sidra has to marry and if she wants to or not and if it’s accepted if she doesn’t want to or choose for herself. of course freedom is only found within if you can make your peace with the situation. :)

i wonder, some people here me including are even challenged with the choices they made for themselves. i also like to wear a halo in my spare time.

Edited by now is forever

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9 hours ago, Shin said:

If your visa can allow you to study somewhere else that would be good.

I would advise you somewhere where the study year is not pricy, like really cheap.

In France it's cheap as of now, but I heard it will cost way more for outsiders unfortunately.

I think Central Europe is pretty cheap to study in. For example Czech and German citizens have university for free, until they are 26 years old. I think we only pay for law schools and medicine... But you don't want to study that, right? I have many foreign friends who study here, because of the price... They are mostly from Asia (Japan, China, Taiwan, Korea...), but I am aware of some Middle Eastern and Arabic people as well!

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13 hours ago, Angelite said:

@Sidra  

there's no such thing as forced

There is. You have no idea.

@now is forever

If there were easy options, then everyone would have taken them.

The easiest option was illegal immigration through Turkey and Lebanon, and by the sea, and that was four years ago. Most immigrants had to get out of the country, or else they would have died.

Legal immigration requires a lot of money, from what I hear about £8,000 just to start a bank account.

Do you know what the average salary for a full time job is in Syria? About £70 to £90 a month. That money can barely help you survive here, and without much luxury (I consider internet luxury).

Can you imagine how hard it is to gather the £8,000?

Both of my parents work for the government, my mother is a teacher, my father is an official. So, we're just basically surviving.

I don't know a lot about Sidra, but I assume something similar, most Syrian families have been crippled down at least in terms of finances.

I don't know if that seems depressing, but actually the worst is already gone, the war is almost over, at least on land.

Before the war, my life was planned perfectly by my parents, I was supposed to graduate this year as a doctor, but now I'm two years late, and they were planning to buy two apartments, one for me and the other for my brother, but then in 2012 everything collapsed, the war began and we now barely have any money in our savings (gold, or whatever).

I don't want to leave you depressed about us here, the truth is that now I don't suffer anymore, I don't know how I've changed, perhaps because I've suffered a lot.

Now I'm just flowing with life, evolving, making everyone around me happy, I have no problems or regrets or hatred for anyone or anything whatsoever. I'm completely surrendered, and life is amazing.

I already have a job, salary about £40 a month for working 4 hours a day for 6 days a week, it helps me support myself and my family.

I just need to get back on track with my studying, and that'll make everything perfect for me 👌

@bejapuskas

I don't usually tell people online where I am from because that'll make them sympathetic with me, and then I'll have to hear all sorts of questions about how I survived the war 😒

......

Is anyone else having problems using the forum? It's hanging a lot here.

Edited by Truth Addict

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@Truth Addict didn’t want to criticize you, you are probably right and it’s even hard that a lot of intelligent young people (especially men) have fleed from the country, when what the country certainly mostly needs now is intelligent progressive young people to rebuild itself. maybe that’s why the country would really do good in keeping the young intelligent women in supporting their rights - but even if it’s tough for a male in syria - the ones who still have to swallow the most are the women, and maybe nothing much will change for them, while the guys can catch up at one point.

germany for example only made it because of the women who rebuilt it in the first years - you also can hope for the guys that will return, because they will - not everyone who took the turkey route will be allowed to stay, you maybe forget that, it was not the easy route - it’s was the surviving route.

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@now is forever

I didn't take it as criticism lol, actually I want and appreciate criticism.

Just wanted to give a clearer picture about how it is here.

And as for the surviving route, of course I agree, probably was just bad phrasing.

I know what immigrants have been through from experience, me and my family had to internally immigrate, we moved 4 times in the same year trying to avoid danger zones.

I know all about that, and I'm very sympathetic to my people, and very thankful for you and your government for letting them in.

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Put a password on your mobile/laptop and don't autoconnect to this forum, do it manually each time.

Just in case.

Might be a good idea to download Leos videos about enlightenment in case you don't have internet anymore.


There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled

You feel it, don't you ? - Rumi

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@Shin

ISIS isn't here bro.

The government is not democratic like first world governments, but it also isn't terrorist like ISIS. It's something in between, it allows these sorts of things unless they have a real influence on the country, or mostly on their ability to control the country.

Most of the Syrian people are Muslims and Christians, and we always lived in great harmony.

There are also minorities like Kurdish people, and they still live among us, and everything is fine between us.

The war was against the government, but the people were the human shields.

There really isn't a bit of real racism here, actually after the war we blended even more, some Christians now will participate in Ramadan, Muslims had started celebrating in Christmas and other Christian holidays.

The media is not accurate at all bro, don't believe everything you hear.

Even if they're 100% objective and not biased, you will imagine something different from reality.

Edited by Truth Addict

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Yes but we are talking non duality which is seen as nihilism or sectarian from most people.


There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled

You feel it, don't you ? - Rumi

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I'm currently amazed that you can communicate with us in your situation. The 21st century is really one of the most incredible era ever

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7 hours ago, Shin said:

Yes but we are talking non duality which is seen as nihilism or sectarian from most people.

We are smart about it, or that's what I think of us 😎

Thanks for the advice and care though, I didn't know you are able to not be sarcastic 😂

❤️

3 hours ago, Raphael said:

I'm currently amazed that you can communicate with us in your situation. The 21st century is really one of the most incredible era ever

We have cellphones here, iPhone and Samsung and other brands, we have 4G, we have ADSL, we have laptops and PCs, we don't live in tents, nor skyscrapers, we are very mediocre.

But, yeah it's certainly amazing how all of this is possible! 🙆😊

❤️

Edited by Truth Addict

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Don't you dare say to me you ride cars instead of camels !


There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled

You feel it, don't you ? - Rumi

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