It seems I need to hit rock bottom in order to wake up and work on myself

[brugluiz]

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

[zambize]

You don't have to hit rock bottom to start working towards your dreams, I see the primary problem as you thinking you have to hit rock bottom.  It seems more like a condition that will never be met, like a really terrible trap, like you ego just completely indulging itself and lying to you and making you believe that once it has been completely indulged well then you'll be cured and want to accomplish your dreams.  If you don't have motivation to accomplish whatever dreams you have, maybe you need to sit down and go through your feelings about your dreams and future and exactly what you will have to put in, and whether or not you are willing to do that.  If your dreams are large enough, well you'll probably hit rock bottom pretty soon, so don't worry about that.  Find out what you want, how much of it you are willing to take on now, and just start.

[brugluiz]

59 minutes ago, zambize said:

You don't have to hit rock bottom to start working towards your dreams, I see the primary problem as you thinking you have to hit rock bottom.  It seems more like a condition that will never be met, like a really terrible trap, like you ego just completely indulging itself and lying to you and making you believe that once it has been completely indulged well then you'll be cured and want to accomplish your dreams.  If you don't have motivation to accomplish whatever dreams you have, maybe you need to sit down and go through your feelings about your dreams and future and exactly what you will have to put in, and whether or not you are willing to do that.  If your dreams are large enough, well you'll probably hit rock bottom pretty soon, so don't worry about that.  Find out what you want, how much of it you are willing to take on now, and just start.

Thank you, @zambize!

Yeah, it's a terrible ego trap. I want to write about what I want in life, but I don't know where start.

Edit: just found this article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wander-woman/201512/20-questions-plan-your-life

Edited December 19, 2018 by brugluiz

[zambize]

Yeah just sounds like you don't really have a clear enough vision for yourself or what you're passionate about that, but you won't have to hit rock bottom to find that passion I don't think.  It's nothing to stress over, just stay in tune with yourself and your passions will become more and more clear

[kieranperez]

On 12/18/2018 at 3:54 PM, brugluiz said:

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

Change your structure of motivation. Just the way your framing this is a big reason why you’re still this way. You’re trying to change your life by whipping yourself for being some weakling. Positive motivation and vision is what you need? Why do you want to lose weight? To avoid being some fat guy that people point and cringe at? Or to feel light and full of energy you didn’t know you had? Or is it to eat food that you feel great about yourself for eating rather than feel full of shame and guilt? 

[brugluiz]

21 hours ago, zambize said:

Yeah just sounds like you don't really have a clear enough vision for yourself or what you're passionate about that, but you won't have to hit rock bottom to find that passion I don't think.  It's nothing to stress over, just stay in tune with yourself and your passions will become more and more clear

No, my vision isn't clear yet. I have a glimpse of what I like, but I don't have certainty.

20 hours ago, kieranperez said:

Change your structure of motivation. Just the way your framing this is a big reason why you’re still this way. You’re trying to change your life by whipping yourself for being some weakling. Positive motivation and vision is what you need? Why do you want to lose weight? To avoid being some fat guy that people point and cringe at? Or to feel light and full of energy you didn’t know you had? Or is it to eat food that you feel great about yourself for eating rather than feel full of shame and guilt? 

Thank you!

I want to eat healthy to feel alive again and have energy to pursue my passion

I want to consistently fo physical exercises to feel more energetic and then give positive vibes to other people.

I want to message my frienda because I appreciate their presence and I love them.

I want to focus more on other activities to be proud of me in the end of the day.

I want to read more to learn more and apply what I learn in my life, making things better and opening new opportunities (ex.: a book that teaches how to be more productive will help me to make money to travel abroad).

This reframing is awesome!

[Emerald]

On 12/18/2018 at 6:54 PM, brugluiz said:

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

You're already psychologically starting in the negative. So, you feel like you're already failing.

But if you can switch your mindset to thinking, "any progress that I make is positive" then you'll be able to celebrate your small victories. This will give you the energy and motivation to ride the wave fo inspiration... instead of feeling like you're already behind. 

Every step into the positive is cause for celebration, not a cause to see how far you have to go to get out of the negative and break even. 

Just changing this mindset will help you tremendously.

[Cepzeu]

A good place to start is to sit with a journal and pen and meditate on this for an hour a day for a week. 

Write down healthy, positive points about how you want to proceed forward.

You will notice new energy come to you as you move from a mind pattern of negative motivation to a mind pattern of positive, creative, constructive motivation, as others have mentioned. 

[brugluiz]

15 hours ago, Emerald said:

You're already psychologically starting in the negative. So, you feel like you're already failing.

But if you can switch your mindset to thinking, "any progress that I make is positive" then you'll be able to celebrate your small victories. This will give you the energy and motivation to ride the wave fo inspiration... instead of feeling like you're already behind. 

Every step into the positive is cause for celebration, not a cause to see how far you have to go to get out of the negative and break even. 

Just changing this mindset will help you tremendously.

Thank you, @Emerald and @Cepzeu!

I think I can combine your both ideas.

[Hellspeed]

On 19.12.2018 at 0:54 AM, brugluiz said:

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

Just focus on breath on whatever you do. You will notice in time that life will begin and with it, beautiful changes. 

[bejapuskas]

@brugluiz  Go watch some David Goggins and then try to whine  Suffering to growth is a good and exciting way to develop yourself  After you discover the helplessness of the ego, you will find that discipline and pain feel 100 times better than laziness and boredom.

[Dan Arnautu]

@brugluiz Create a vision that will make you cry everytime you think about it.

That is how you create positive (as opposed to negative) motivation to get to work. 

[Nahm]

On 12/18/2018 at 6:54 PM, brugluiz said:

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

The resistence you’re sick of, stop addding it. Think in positives. Wanted. 

[brugluiz]

18 hours ago, Hellspeed said:

Just focus on breath on whatever you do. You will notice in time that life will begin and with it, beautiful changes. 

I tried it many times. Should I try it harder (because it really seems it doesn't work)?

15 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@brugluiz  Go watch some David Goggins and then try to whine  Suffering to growth is a good and exciting way to develop yourself  After you discover the helplessness of the ego, you will find that discipline and pain feel 100 times better than laziness and boredom.

Wacthed some of David Goggins' videos. He is very tough. I can't understand how to discover the helplessness of the ego, but I probably had glimpses of it when I was in college. Maybe it's very difficult to do it while on antipsychotics.

13 hours ago, Dan Arnautu said:

@brugluiz Create a vision that will make you cry everytime you think about it.

That is how you create positive (as opposed to negative) motivation to get to work. 

Does it have to be a crying that has negative or positive motivations? I ask that because once I did a Steve Pavlina exercise that made me cry, but I thought it was more because I was depressed, then I didn't give it too much attention.

10 hours ago, Nahm said:

The resistence you’re sick of, stop addding it. Think in positives. Wanted. 

Thank you, @Nahm

[Nahm]

On 12/18/2018 at 6:54 PM, brugluiz said:

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

I can change anything in my life, it seems hard when I think of a lot of changes. I’ll pick one. 

I’d like to try some different fruits and veggies, and see which ones I like. It’d feel good to just start a healthy change. 

It’d feel good just to start exercising. If I just do 10 push ups and 10 sit ups, I bet I’d feel good that I started. Tomorrow, maybe 11.

Maybe I’ll message a couple friends, and just say hi. Maybe ask them how they are.

I’ll pick the one thing I’d like to start a change with, and make a post asking for suggestions. That would be a change in itself in the direction I want. 

I’ll pick one book today that I’d like to read. Tomorrow, I’ll read 10 pages. I bet I’ll feel really great just seeing how a little each day starts to add up.

I’ll begin to acknowledge I’ve had some negative thinking patterns. I know I can do one little change at a time. If I feel overwhelmed, I know I can relax my body and breathe for a few minutes. After a while, I know things won’t feel to overwhelming. 

I know I could use a little discipline in how I use my time. I remember why I want to make these changes. I’ll hang something, or set some reminders. I know if I am reminded often of what I want, I’ll start to naturally feel some inspiration. I think I’ll be ok. I know it would serve me well to be patient with myself, and it’s ok if I get frustrated. I can always take a break for a minute. 

I learned a lot from procrastination. I learned not to go too fast, and to think kindly of myself. I learned it’s better to read one or two pages, than to think about reading 100 books. 

 

(That kind of inner game)

[Dan Arnautu]

9 hours ago, brugluiz said:

Does it have to be a crying that has negative or positive motivations? I ask that because once I did a Steve Pavlina exercise that made me cry, but I thought it was more because I was depressed, then I didn't give it too much attention.

Thank you, @Nahm

Tears of excitement and joy about what your life could look like. Don't start to guilt yourself because it doesn't look like that yet. It defeats the whole purpose. 

[bejapuskas]

For me, the key was to focus on presence and start making progress NOW.

[rabbitat]

On 12/18/2018 at 4:54 PM, brugluiz said:

My life is kind like a mess. It’s not a huge mess, but it’s still a mess.

If I don’t stop eating sweets and candies, I’ll probably have diabetes.
If I don’t start consistently doing physical exercises, I’ll probably get fat.
If I don’t start messaging my friends, I’ll probably lose them.
If I don’t stop with this forum and other internet forums, I’ll probably be wasting useful time.
If I don’t start reading every day, I’ll probably never read more than 100 books in my entire life.

It seems I need to get really and very very sad and depressed in order to start doing things. I don’t think it’s a proper way of doing stuff.

How can I have emotional leverage without hitting rock bottom? How can I accomplish my dreams?

Procrastination is a damn thing!

Can't deny this pulled a little on a familiar part of my being for a minute and had to say, I get you - My life is a mess too. I'm a mess too.  Yet, I totally understand the sweet power in changing negative motivation around! An Italian-Irish Catholic raised gal knows a bit about personal whipping and brow beating to say the least and consequently an enormous amount about Neurosis with a capital N. Procrastination and feeling stuck quite frankly (i'm just going to say it) sucks sweaty balls!

BUT - it was different for me in the sense negative reinforcement was what I knew best, and I did hit my personal "rock bottom" whatever that means for each of us and honestly it transformed me. Hell, Leo changed my life and I just started in October. It's been the worst and best 2 years of my life because all that negativity well it rubbed and rubbed and rubbed and somehow I needed better. I know nothing but that at least now some of the intense ball suckery (i.e. owning your shit and being mind blown by it) is better than being unaware of what I was doing and why I wasn't passionate about my life when there was nothing but life, love and fire in me. Yasssssss!!  Just get there, ya know motivated to start taking small pieces at a time. And when you do you'll have to be just as patient because you're going to fuck up there too (like A LOT). 

Having some cathartic experience or serotonin levels through the roof isn't always the way. Sometimes that leads to trying to do everything at once and that can be very self-defeating, confusing and more painful then you dreamed possible...more reason to brow beat.  I saw this after purchasing a ton of books, crazy journaling, yoga, diet changes followed by one fucking incredible backward slide into a bad relationship (ya know "comfort", whiskey, sex). Escaped that one again, but realized this is a walk not a run. 

Same lesson for me - get cozy man, take your time, develop Y O U ... however you need to... quietly, sadly, happily, positively, negatively. THEN, when you do get a little momentum make sure to practice a lot of personal forgiveness and love. No race. Just you. Anyway - I'm not on your path and wouldn't assume to understand, but I'm for you and your growth! 

"The cure for pain is in the pain" ~ Rumi

 

Edited December 24, 2018 by rabbitat

[Hellspeed]

@brugluiz Maybe you need more challenges, like some conflict or desperation in your life. Sometimes in life we need to lose everything to really know what is valueble or not. 

What life showed me is that in change and desperation is one of the greatest opportunities. 

 

Give you an example of what i've been through:

Desperation on not being able to walk properly and with escruciating pain for years, because of powerlifting injuries. Was a time in the past that gelosy came to the surface, on other human beings that where able to run freely without pain. It was a time i thought i will lose one of my hearing ears. 

Long story short, in all that desperation it clicked in me that there is a way of healing, despite what the doctor said that joint or teeth wil probably not grow back. So i continued in the insanity that there is a possibility. Then it hit me... One day just came to me the nonsense that i'm the Almighty, so i faked it until i made it  I discovered breath without knowing what meditation was. In my desperation i just wanted to be like a puppy dog and breathe, it was enough for me at that time. And i started to graps what reallity is, by doing nothing and just breathe, staying awake even if i die where my thoughts once. Now after that struggle, i found how to heal my body naturally, joints of the hip, knee, hearing and myopia. In the process i adquired the skill of Healing with Energy, many phychic abbilities and recently permanet awakening. 

All that was do to continuing moving forward even in death.

 

Never give up! Even if you lose yourself, even if today is pain, go and discover the pain, it won't bite  

[bejapuskas]

@brugluiz  Maybe focusing on breath doesn't do the job for you, because you are still living in the past/future. Become conscious of your body, the present moment and all the thoughts and stop trying to control them, stop running away  You cannot start actualizing yourself tomorrow, tomorrow doesn't exist, there is only now. 

Here is how I discovered the helplessness of ego: I watched some Goggins, then I had a super motivated day, I did so much work, I went for a walk by myself, I focused on the present moment almost the whole day... It was just awesome. And then the other day, I had a massive backlash, I didn't even feel like getting up from my bed. But I said no to this and did the exact same thing as yesterday. It felt even more awesome! Realize, that all the negative thoughts, laziness, regrets... They don't even make sense, why would you ever pay attention to them?