The battle between heart and the self (fear)

[Leo Gura]

@Charlotte Good stuff.

Yeah, it helps to have a deep theoretical foundation in spirituality to make sense of experiences like this.

Yeah, nonduality is so radical it does not make sense to the lowercase self. Takes a lot of trips to make sense of it all.

Psychedelics make it much easier as that breathing is hard work and gets pretty messy. The breathing works more at the bodily level than the mental/understanding level. That's still useful, but don't be surprised if it doesn't make sense.

[Charlotte]

@Leo Gura @Shin(sorry shin ignore)

 

@Leo Gura Thanks for your feedback. Yeah I think this time round it was much deeper because of the microdosing and contemplation I have been doing.

Do we need to make sense of stuff like this Leo? Does it need to be questioned? Isn't this the self trying to latch on to experience then? I'm confused about this. 

What do you mean by,

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The breathing works more at the bodily level than the mental/understanding level

 

[Charlotte]

Shit is shifting. Coming up. Oh my fucking god this is tough. I was stood talking to my mate yesterday and I just merged with her ? then I felt the panic again slightly (fuck you @Shin) 

In order to heal other I must first heal myself. 

This is my calling. 

I feel the pull. 

I am going to microdose today and go and sit in a log cabin and be. It is underneath the surface, this won't take much to uncover. It's coming out via energy movements in the hands, I keep moving my hands in mudra like movements involuntary. 

[Shin]

You're so gonna die

?

[Charlotte]

@Shin I can see why you would run from it or repress it but I could see the repression of such force could set you back some time. 

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

@Shin I can see why you would run from it or repress it but I could see the repression of such force could set you back some time. 

 

No clue what you're meaning.

[Charlotte]

You turned to distraction didn't you (repression) but I could see by doing so it would prolong the inevitable.

[Charlotte]

I'm ready. 

Today is the day.

[Shin]

Please don't,

You'll bait me right into it if it does

[Charlotte]

What do you mean shin bait you right into it? 

[allislove]

Hi, Charlotte.

I was reading your post where you were writing about microdosing and, probably, going to try full dose. That post inspired me to try a full dose of LSD. I am curious if you tried it and what was your experience if you did. Pardon my English. 

[Charlotte]

@dimitri Hi there. First of all there's nothing wrong with your English, it's brilliant. 

Did you do the full dose? 

I haven't actually had LSD I use mushrooms but I'm struggling to find accommodation to do my trip due to the time of season, everywhere is fully booked. I'm still actively looking though. No doubt when I do do it I will be reporting on here ?

[Shin]

25 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

What do you mean shin bait you right into it? 

 

I won't be able to stale for very long if my best friend awaken.

[allislove]

17 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

Did you do the full dose?

Yes, I tried 125ug of LSD for the first time one week ago. That was the day. Thanks to my friend who supported me during a trip and provided the ideal environment for the tripping (like a clean room, good music, good food). The weather  was good too. Funny, at the end of the trip I decided to buy a flight ticket and fly to a homeland.

Edited April 29, 2019 by dimitri

[Shin]

 

 

I'm doing it right now bitch.

I'm gonna be first

 

 

[Charlotte]

@dimitri @dimitri Awesome! How was the trip? Wow! That's amazing! 

@Shin uh huh

[Charlotte]

Today was not the day but that's okay. I did not microdose either. Ego backlash came in big time. 

I've also been contemplating some from what might seem, simple yet overlooked topics (to me) Happiness. I 'thought' I knew what this was. I've identified a certain type of emotion with a label and lived by that for years. This came about whilst watching Leo's latest episodes. 

Once you start realising the things you have been taking for granted where based on belief you wonder what else there is. It all comes up when it's ready to be observed. Leo, I don't know how to thank you ♥️

[allislove]

@Charlotte that was challenging and amazing, amazing and challenging. Music and berries are really special on LSD. It was quite beneficial to me, I think. I had an internal dialog about my life and it was nice to see the reality from another angle. I think I became more open-minded.   

[Charlotte]

@dimitri Oh wow! That's amazing. Do you plan on doing another?

[allislove]

@Charlotte I do not know. LSD is a great tool and I would like to do a full dose once per year or two. The same as Vipassana retreat − once per year or two.

Edited April 30, 2019 by dimitri
I removed too much of shared info related to 5-Leo-DMT.