HELP!! Are men naturally Poly-amorous?

[YaNanNallari]

34 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

The thread is based on polyamory, not polygamy.

my bad used the wrong word

Edited November 2, 2018 by YaNanNallari

[RichardY]

 

[Girzo]

2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

That which appears is natural. 

By this logic monogamy is also natural. This is not what the topic is about.

On 29.10.2018 at 10:38 PM, Peace and Love said:

He seems to be convinced that men really are not naturally supposed to have monogamous relationships.

It clearly regards 'natural' as meaning 'a part of basic human nature'. And polyamory is not that. It builds on our basic instincts, but is something new, that has never existed before.

[Shadowraix]

37 minutes ago, Girzo said:

By this logic monogamy is also natural. This is not what the topic is about.

Correct, it is.

The bigger point I think thats being made here is if humans have some past that gravitate towards polyamory. This would hint as some genetic gravitation towards this method of forming bonds.

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, Caterpillar said:

I know I am. I fantasize about every girl who's stored in my memory. Or who appears on my screen. Even unnattractive ones for novelty. I think every guy is like this honestly. If you want something long term you have to find a guy who has low self esteem. 

You must understand that your worldview is very debilitating to your psychological health, and as a result there are many neuroses that come up. So, not every man is the way that you are... even though the potentials are there if they start adopting a similar worldview.

All of your stuff is cranked up to 11 because you're in a worldview that creates a 'contents under pressure' effect. So, no. Even though it is quite common and normal for men (and women for that matter) to think about sex often, not all men are so fixated upon all women sexually in the way you described. A sizable percentage of men (maybe even the majority) have some degree of discernment and don't have an intrusive level of sexual thoughts.

This degree of fixation only happens for men who strongly resist and reject their feminine side and Yin in general in a very extreme way. This is because sex becomes the only acceptable outlet for connection with the feminine. And that connection is desperately needed... but can never actually come from female sexual validation either. 

Now, it is common for men to be in resistance to their feminine side because of societal pressures placed upon them to perform masculinity and reject femininity. So, sexual obsession is quite common for men in general because of this. But even though it's common, it's not normal or healthy for men to be sexually obsessed... even though it is normal for men to be very interested in sex.

Also, your ideas of what constitutes self-love and self-esteem are so far from reality. So, you seem to believe you have them, even though what you describe as self-esteem and self-love are diametrically opposed to what they actually are. 

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

That which appears is natural. 

True. I think that a lot of people tend to get into all kinds of ideas about what's natural in humans because there is an underlying assumption that we aren't being natural right now. And this idea that once we "find our way back" to being natural that all the bad things will go away. 

But the reality of the matter is that we've always been natural the whole entire time. So, monogamy is natural, polygamy is natural, polyamory is natural, etc. 

But I do think people have an underlying reptile brain charged lean toward polyamory. I know it is true of myself as I still get crushes here an there. But I also prefer monogamy for a wide variety of reasons... even if it means that I have to sacrifice my desire for kindling new romances. For me, the sacrifice is worth it. For others the sacrifice may not be worth it. 

[Shadowraix]

@Emerald I always enjoy reading your thoughts. Thank you for your perspectives.

[SgtPepper]

18 hours ago, Caterpillar said:

If you want something long term you have to find a guy who has low self esteem. 

That is not true at all. Plenty of people in marriages have great self-esteem.

Some people do not want the drama or emotional turmoil of multiple intimate relationships. It can be exhausting just to have one. 

Also it appears to me that you are speaking from a place of Lust not Love. Marriage is about love, acceptance, and commitment, not about being able to score consistently like some men make it out to be.

 

@Emerald

Interesting explanation about men and femininity!

Edited November 2, 2018 by SgtPepper

[Forestluv]

16 hours ago, Girzo said:

By this logic monogamy is also natural. This is not what the topic is about.

Yes, the appearance of monogamy is also natural. The OP asked if polyamory was natural - it seems that is what the topic is about.

[Forestluv]

13 hours ago, Emerald said:

True. I think that a lot of people tend to get into all kinds of ideas about what's natural in humans because there is an underlying assumption that we aren't being natural right now. And this idea that once we "find our way back" to being natural that all the bad things will go away. 

But the reality of the matter is that we've always been natural the whole entire time. So, monogamy is natural, polygamy is natural, polyamory is natural, etc. 

But I do think people have an underlying reptile brain charged lean toward polyamory. I know it is true of myself as I still get crushes here an there. But I also prefer monogamy for a wide variety of reasons... even if it means that I have to sacrifice my desire for kindling new romances. For me, the sacrifice is worth it. For others the sacrifice may not be worth it. 

Well said. I would also say that dynamic appearances and flows integrating aspects of monogamy and polyamory is also natural.

I remember 25 years ago when the big debate was whether human homosexuality was "natural". Scientists spent years studying many different species - looking for homosexual behavior. All species showed homosexuality and the scientists concluded that homosexuality was "natural". The official stamp of verification.  Then, there was the search for the "gay gene". . .  It seemed so reasonable at the time, yet now I look back and giggle

[Key Elements]

@Peace and Love Bottom line: this is how relationships actually work, whether or not you're polyamorous. That's the big picture. If a person can work out such thing in a polyamorous relationship, so be it. And, after a 'good relationship has been settled,' it's time to really focus on the life purpose. By then, you won't be thinking about relationships anymore.

[Shin]

36 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Well said. I would also say that dynamic appearances and flows integrating aspects of monogamy and polyamory is also natural.

I remember 25 years ago when the big debate was whether human homosexuality was "natural". Scientists spent years studying many different species - looking for homosexual behavior. All species showed homosexuality and the scientists concluded that homosexuality was "natural". The official stamp of verification.  Then, there was the search for the "gay gene". . .  It seemed so reasonable at the time, yet now I look back and giggle

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