Are People Who Only Talk About People Stupid?

[Falk]

I lately was in a conversation where i suddenly realized that the topic for the last 10minutes was other people and what they did.

I personaly like the people i had the conversation with (from work) and it would be a harsh oversimplification to call them "stupid" given the fact what they acchieved in their lifes and how they are in generell quite nice people with a good emotional intelligence i would say.

But when in conversation i thought of the label "this is stupid". Also i knew i will be in it for the next hour since we were in a car  (me driving) so i thought "whatever" and i engaged in it as well. I kinda thought, it is better to be part of it than be outside and judge them for beeing stupid, taking a moral highground based on what? But i realize that this behaviour can be quite dangerous. To join something that you think is "not right" just to feel good. But i felt i goes along with what i learnt in meditation. Also with the same logic i would have joined the nazis in 1933, which clearly can´t be "good" 

so! any thoughts on this topic?

[vizual]

Well, you can't convince people their gossiping is not really benefitting them in the grand scheme of thing. People have to find out for themselves.

When I encounter people like this I just show with my body language that  gossip doesn't interest me in the slightest, most of the time they pick up on it and they(or me) change the subject. No harm done. If they don't pick up on it they are not people I want to interact with anyway.

[mandyjw]

I really think the right thing to do is not engage in talking about other people negatively. So far I seem to always fail at it though. I've been thinking about it a lot lately because one of my friends does nothing but talk about other people. Gossip is really going backwards if you are into self improvement because focusing on others problems is the biggest distraction from your own. 

[yankee]

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

― Henry Thomas Buckle

Edited March 25, 2016 by yankee

[Joseph Maynor]

Not necessarily.  People have different interests.  That doesn't make them stupid.  If they lack book smarts we might argue they are stupid, but really only in one sense of many ways one might be stupid.  I bet they are very wise about people.  An area where a lot of nerdy people may be very stupid.  So, by doing something you forgo something else.  Whatever you have forgone, that's where you're stupid.  And each person has their own brand of stupidity as a result.

Edited July 2, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Shin]

This is the kind of situations where being funny is important.

[Arkandeus]

people are one of the most interesting topics on earth....we are basically apparitions of unique spirits with constant explosions of infinity and creativity. 

you don't have to participate in the conversation on the level that you don't want,but keep in mind you could participate in the conversation on a different level as well. 

you could do it spiritually, you could take the time to appreciate the love happening in front of you, these people toke 10 entire minutes to make other people and their activities the center of their life...what an act of love! 

you could also study their point of view, to you talking about others may seem irrelevant, but what it does mean to them?why is relevant to them? try to feel their emotions. 

on another side you could study the way they make eye contact during a conversation, you could study mouth movements, eye movements...there's really no wrong in doing that.you don't have to actively participate in a conversation, each.

you can take this to infinity, everything is in the eye of the beholder

[Serge]

Well, for starters, I think that the concept "stupid"  is kind of useless when applied to a human being as a label. It just shows your attitude to a certain activity that the person under discussion was performing (You like/dislike, agree/disagree with it).

As for the situation you've described, well, each and one of us is a byproduct of reality (or, the way Leo says it - we are reality) and judging people is an unconscious way to distort that reality. If you're tempted to participate in that kind of discussion and you have the natural desire to do that - it will be useful for you to engage, because that's who you REALLY are, BUT be mindful about your state and see how it makes you feel during the discussion, as well, as after that. Be really aware how that influences your life, as this way you will be able to spot the negative consequences it brings into your life (if it does).

Personally, gossiping doesn't interest me, but in the past it did. And as I recall, when I was doing that it made me feel somehow addicted to it, like it was swallowing me and, what is more important, it unconsciously was building up the importance of society in my life, which was empowering my people pleasing mentality - with which I'm currently struggling. And as soon as I realized that, it's like I naturally didn't want to do that anymore, I just lost the interest in it.

[S33K3R]

I always find myself playing the other card. If someone attacks another then I rationalize the benefits of that persons choices. 

Everyone I know knows me for this. I am not one to join the group for judging and talking about others. I notice how it has has hurt my own energy to do so in the past. 

 

[Emerald]

Gossip provides the social function of determining in-groups and out-groups. So, it's a way to confirm to one's self and one's peers that "we're the ingroup" and "they're the outgroup". And it has an empowering feeling about it as it's part of our lower nature to be concerned about status and hierarchy. However, if a person is over the 'in-group' and 'out-group' mentality, it will allow them to think about other things that are more interesting and satisfying. So, it isn't stupid, per say. It's an evolutionary trait for socialization. But it's the nature of the beast that makes us suffer when we have no control over it. So, constantly talking about others is a sign that a person's 'inner beast' is out of control and that they're not a very good 'beast tamer.' So, it does speak to their character, reliability, and trustworthiness... but not necessarily their intelligence.

[SOUL]

*Inserts obligatory 'is this thread stupid for talking about people' question.*

[alyra]

On 3/25/2016 at 10:44 AM, Falk said:

I lately was in a conversation where i suddenly realized that the topic for the last 10minutes was other people and what they did.

sounds like a good learning experience to me. we aren't isolated y'know, we're a social people. talking about other people, talking with other people - these are ways to learn and grow. 

 

what does leo do in his video? he talks about people. well, he imagines what someone might be, and talks about that person falling for that trap. 

 

maybe you don't like what the people you're talking about are doing. isn't that a good learning experience? maybe you are jealous of what those people are doing! isn't that a learning experience! 

[abrakamowse]

Thanks for this topic, now I realized how I talk about other people. Not about co workers or friends, family.

The sneaky behavior came to me hiding or in disguise in the form of talking bad about politics, actors, famous people...

Now I realize that, that's the same thing I was trying to avoid!!! The ego is really tricky!

 

Thanks for posting this topic OP!!!