NoSelfSelf

Wtf is this?

20 posts in this topic

On the one hand i love people on the other i hate them,on the one hand i want to meet and have a gf but on the other i hate it, i can go on and on i dont understand this conflict it makes me depressed...anyone have this?I cant even start because i know i hate it but there is no going around it...

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I have this too. I like to collect and categorize pictures of girls but at the same time I realize it's a waste of time. So I end up deleting the pictures. And then I download them again. And the cycle continues. Choosing is hard when you want to make the perfect choice. 

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@Caterpillar For example you want to go out meet people but on the other hand you hate the idea so in the end you dont do anything and your social life suffers

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I think you have to be more specific with what you want. You already know that you want a girlfriend. That's probably never going to change. But what exactly do you want that to look like? Do you want to move in with her? Do you want to marry her? Do you want her in a cage? Do you want to have children? Do you want to be with her for the rest of your life? Do you want one girlfriend or multiple? Does her age matter? Does her sexual history matter? Is it okay if she has male friends? How much time do you want to spend with her? Do you want her to sit in your house all day? Or only on the weekends? Think about these stuffs. :D

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Clearly deciding what you want is half the battle to getting it.

This is where visualization and honing intent comes into play.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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@Leo Gura Lets say i want to meet someone but i see how many suffering and work it will have to take to work so i start to hate it and i dont do it...

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I guess it is pretty normal as a human being to have both the need for closeness and also for spending time alone.

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Do you think your wishy-washiness is based on fear? I have a friend who is always saying that he wants to get into meditation but he never does. I think he's afraid of it, but satisfies some need in him to feel normal by saying that he's going to do it. I think deep down he knows that he won't. 

If your deal is fear-based, discovering and admitting it would be a good starting point. 

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@NoSelfSelf Your mind is getting caught up in negative thinking.

You are making the work seem worse than it actually is. You can make the process fun.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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Man I really want to meet some of you people in real life just to have a real chat. Stuff like this is what I get really absorbed by, I find too many of my conversations these days to be too shallow.

@Leo Gura How bout that tour tho :ph34r:

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10 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

On the one hand i love people on the other i hate them,on the one hand i want to meet and have a gf but on the other i hate it, i can go on and on i dont understand this conflict it makes me depressed...anyone have this?I cant even start because i know i hate it but there is no going around it...

I have the hate part but not the love part lol. Any communication I have with people is so I don't go crazy being completely isolated.

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@PsiloPutty Yeah but now fear is subtle then before...

@Leo Gura Yeah im not thinking as much but it still happens,i have resistence like before(negative programming)but not as much fear or anxiety as before i cant see how to make it fun it sucks...

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Extremely relatable. I feel like I have two opposite poles in me, but that's pretty normal, everyone has It, only the distance from one end to another differs. It's called duality. 

Your example about loving/hating everyone relates. I literary feel this urge to help people, to teach them, to stop them from destructive thinking and lifestyle, but I just don't believe in that. I truly believe we are all one unified being and love is the key in every situation, but most people are just so lost that I just rather not communicate with them because I instantly judge them as "lower vibration" beings that are toxic for me and coming originally from eastern europe small city doesn't help either. While I am building masssive business and trying to figure out how to make the most, positive impact people in my age are just drinking daily and talking about some crappy cars, sure not all of them, but in whole world in general, the average person is dumb as fuck and far, far away from their true potential and their dream life, while they have everything needed to get there. I don't feel like I should help and love people who I can't relate to so I ignore 90% of people and I'm going to make rest 10% feel like kings and queens.

About relationships I care less, because I love being on my own, I truly feel great on my own so I don't need someone to fullfill myself as most people in relationships. At the same time I wan't person who is ready to play this game "Being human" and have real relationships with every single piece of bullshit cut out. Where we both can get the most of this life in every aspect - materialistic luxury, make huge positive impact on humanity, just do whatever we can dream of while making the best impact possible. I've met so many girls but I always find something that makes me wan't to rather stay on my own. I know my requirements are very high, but I think It would be stupid to just be with whoever as most of society does. 

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37 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

 

@Leo Gura Yeah im not thinking as much but it still happens,i have resistence like before(negative programming)but not as much fear or anxiety as before i cant see how to make it fun it sucks...

Be more creative.

Stop playing victim.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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Yes, I have this problem sometimes. It also takes the form of money, life, morality, etc. It's like these worries and conflicts are alive and entangled and a big living jumble of worms and organs. It's a bit of a gross way to describe them but that's how it is to me. Like they are these things that are entangled with how I experience life.

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