Got any good jokes?

[Mellowmarsh]

[Wilhelm44]

Old Ozzy joke:

Guy is sitting at the bar and he keeps looking at his watch, with fascination, almost like he's reading a book.

Eventually the woman sitting next to him at the bar, starts to get curious and says: "what's the matter, has someone stood you up ?"

He replies: "no you don't understand, this is a magical watch, it provides me with secret information about my surroundings."

She's like: "don't be silly, like what kind of information is it giving you at the moment ?"

He looks closely at his watch: "well right now for example, it's telling me that ur not wearing any knickers."

She giggles: "well your watch is full of shit, cause I am wearing knickers."

He looks at her in disbelief, taps with frustration on the watch and says: "God dammit, the thing's running 20minutes early again."

 

[Ulax]

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree?

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Because it was dead

 

 

 

 

 

[Mellowmarsh]

@Ulax @Wilhelm44

 

[Ulax]

2 minutes ago, Mellowmarsh said:

@Ulax @Wilhelm44