quality, I listened to you guys for once.

[Olaf]

Today I focused on quality. I did 3 warm ups and 3 approaches. This was very hard somehow, because I felt allot of pressure, it took forever to approach because of the pressure and I didn't self eject. Even when a girl was kind of walking away I kept interacting, because I only had 2 more left. I got approached by a group of girls funnily enough, I get approached on a weekly basis by woman, they wanted me in their vlog so I might be famous somewhere. I didn't count that as an approach. But anyways back to the point, I struggle with this exercise, it made me realise that I put allot of pressure on myself even with just 6 approaches. This was weirdly almost harder then the 100, because I had to succeed within only 6 approaches, that is how it felt like and if I don't it feels like I fucked up. And I did fuck up and I am still alive, so I think there is some inner work here to be done. Kind of weird why this is hard when it is only 6. 

[Rishabh R]

@Olaf You can read Models by Mark Manson.

The key here is honest expression of yourself to women despite inner anxiety and also to men in general.

2 things happen when you express yourself despite anxiety - you either make a woman receptive or you repel her . By either outcome you will feel more fulfilled .

As per me I have been approached by women over the years and you know what vulnerability is a gift in itself - saying this not from theory but from lived experience .

[something_else]

This is definitely a step in the right direction. I’d say focus on three things:

• getting instagrams / phone numbers
• talking to groups with your friends / wingmen and framing it like offering to show them around the city, or see if you can merge your groups for the rest of the night
• “Having a fun night” rather than “doing pickup”

I know that last one will piss you off, but like I said before, women don’t really want a “pickup artist” so your goal as one is to make it seem like you’re not one.

Basically try to form a connection with some girls beyond a surface level “approach”

[Elliott]

8 hours ago, something_else said:

 

I know that last one will piss you off, but like I said before, women don’t really want a “pickup artist” so your goal as one is to make it seem like you’re not one.

The best actor in the world isn't that good

If I were to do pickup, I would do it obviously, but not in a slimeball way, I would use a cheesey obvious pickup line and keep it light and not sexual, if you can do that. I still haven't read what OP is doing pickup for, *this isn't PUA horndog advice.

 

Quote

 

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put “U” and “I” together.

No primer or anything, just come in with that, they'll like it if you don't do it sexually, then "want to grab coffee sometime"? Done. Don't dress up like a party boy, nothing, be you, and you're gold.

Edited Thursday at 08:59 AM by Elliott

[something_else]

I've never used a pickup line in my life and I plan to keep it that way. Just natural conversation and playfulness is the way to go.

What I mean by women don't want pickup artists is that they don't want the dude who gets up on a Saturday morning to go to a local high street and spam approach women. 

[Inliytened1]

On 10/14/2026 at 2:45 PM, Olaf said:

Today I focused on quality. I did 3 warm ups and 3 approaches. This was very hard somehow, because I felt allot of pressure, it took forever to approach because of the pressure and I didn't self eject. Even when a girl was kind of walking away I kept interacting, because I only had 2 more left. I got approached by a group of girls funnily enough, I get approached on a weekly basis by woman, they wanted me in their vlog so I might be famous somewhere. I didn't count that as an approach. But anyways back to the point, I struggle with this exercise, it made me realise that I put allot of pressure on myself even with just 6 approaches. This was weirdly almost harder then the 100, because I had to succeed within only 6 approaches, that is how it felt like and if I don't it feels like I fucked up. And I did fuck up and I am still alive, so I think there is some inner work here to be done. Kind of weird why this is hard when it is only 6. 

Interesting.  So you think just throwing numbers at it makes it less stressful.   This is very interesting.  Because this means you are afraid about getting intimate or deep with a girl. You would rather just have high volume and less in depth dialogue because it is less pressure and maybe you'll get lucky anyway.  I get it.  The only thing I can say is it will get easier to have quality engagements.  Just keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. It doesn't matter how many times you strike out. 

[Olaf]

@Inliytened1 yes I think it is easier for me to have many short interactions then to have a few very long conversations. Only time I feel like having long conversations is when I am in deep flow. 

[Leo Gura]

23 minutes ago, Olaf said:

it is easier for me to have many short interactions then to have a few very long conversations.

That is a serious problem.

Keep focusing on quality and long sets.

Don't forget, the goal is not to practice approaching but to get a girl to go home with you. You are lacking the intention and seriousness of pulling. You are not there expecting to smash, which is wrong. Your intention must be to pull, not to chat.

Edited 23 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Olaf]

@Leo Gura yes probably a limiting belief that I can't just pull her from the street or something

[Leo Gura]

13 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Leo Gura yes probably a limiting belief that I can't just pull her from the street or something

You need to be pulling every set for an insta-date to a coffee or ice cream around the corner.

Don't be in a set aimlessly. You need to be leading somewhere, doesn't need to be your house. Within 5 minutes, offer a new place to go and lead her there.

Edited 22 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Zenterus]

26 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You need to be pulling every set for an insta-date to a coffee or ice cream around the corner.

Don't be in a set aimlessly. You need to be leading somewhere, doesn't need to be your house. Within 5 minutes, offer a new place to go and lead her there.

I second this, but I would recommend not to spend money on insta-dates. I personally just tell the girl that I have to get going soon but that she should sit down with me in a nearby bench to vibe real quick. 

Taking girls for ice cream and coffee and shit is okay, but it adds up over time and it doesn't guarantee a result. In fact, paying for a girl who hasnt gotten dressed up to meet you on a date, loses you points actually, cause it's kinda simpy. Why would a high value man who is still deciding if he even likes the girl be spending money on her after a couple minutes of talking? Do the bench instead. 

[Leo Gura]

39 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

Why would a high value man who is still deciding if he even likes the girl be spending money on her after a couple minutes of talking?

1) Payment is not even required.

2) You are being too cheap. A high value man don't care about a $5 coffee.

Edited 21 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Zenterus]

37 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

1) Payment is not even required.

2) You are being too cheap. A high value man don't care about a $5 coffee.

If you can get the same result without spending money why would you spend the money? Also, by buying girls ice creams and coffee (which is equal to buying a girl a drink in the club, btw) you're also screening in girls who are just bored and thirsty and who dont mind having those needs met with a little entertainment (you) there as well. 

Being cheap at the start screens for girls who are interested in YOU and you alone, while screening out the girls that need a supplement on top of you for them to come along.

A girl will only sit with you on a bench because she's genuinely interested in you and the potential connection you might have. That's what you want.

Edited 20 hours ago by Zenterus

[Cubbage]

I've met some great girls who actually payed for the date and it's cause they get a kick out of it. They're a cool type of lady.

[Leo Gura]

@Zenterus It is not worth it to train yourself to be that cheap.

$5 should mean so little to you that it doesn't bother you.

A coffee date is already the cheapest date possible.

Edited 18 hours ago by Leo Gura

[AION]

You have to be more casual about it. It sounds like you are going to war. You are just talking to people with different genitals than you  😭

[coca]

@Zenterus I would have to agree with this, it’s not about $5 bothering you, but more like $5/immediate attention being such a boon in the eyes of a girl because it gives them a reason to escape and already frames you as the trick (looser), who has to go out and spend money on women to get attention from them.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, coca said:

such a boon

Ahahahaha 

You flatter yourselves.

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, Zenterus said:

If you can get the same result without spending money why would you spend the money? Also, by buying girls ice creams and coffee (which is equal to buying a girl a drink in the club, btw) you're also screening in girls who are just bored and thirsty and who dont mind having those needs met with a little entertainment (you) there as well. 

Being cheap at the start screens for girls who are interested in YOU and you alone, while screening out the girls that need a supplement on top of you for them to come along.

A girl will only sit with you on a bench because she's genuinely interested in you and the potential connection you might have. That's what you want.

That's the wrong way to think about it... and it sends an unattractive message.

When I was single, I'd never be the type of woman who's just "bored and thirsty" enough to go on a cheap coffee date with a guy, if I didn't genuinely see the guy as a dating prospect. (And most women aren't that kind of woman)

I'd have to be at least somewhat interested to go out with a guy.

I'll buy my own coffee and drink it alone at the cafe if I want one.

But if the guy invited me out on a cheap coffee date and doesn't at least offer to pay for my coffee... many things are being communicated about him about his personality that would be a turn-off and would evoke skepticism in me.

My mind would go to the following...

• Does he have money issues? If so why? (bad job... irresponsible... gambler... addict... can't manage money?)
• Can he hold down a job? Is he employed?
• Is he really cheap and the type that if I married him, we're going to have a really restrictive relationship with money as a couple?
• Is he just one of those guys who thinks women are trying to use him for his $5 coffees, so he refuses to be generous with women? 
• Is he overtly suspicious that other people will try to use him? Are there trust issues?
• Does he not value the fact that I took time out of my day to go on a date with him?
• Does he go on a ton of dates and is trying to penny-pinch so he can go out on more dates with more women? Did he just schedule this date with me because I'm a willing woman, with nothing special about me in particular?
• Is he just a really closed off person who doesn't want to give anything of himself to the world?
• Is he just a dick?

So, you're really shooting yourself in the foot with women if you do this... as she will intuit unattractive things about your personality if you cheap out on a $5 coffee date.

Bearing in mind... I have been very poor before. When I was 20 years old when I technically homeless for a couple months. And I lost 30 lbs because I just didn't have enough to eat.

But even during that time... I would not have gone out on a date with a guy just so he'd pay for my food. And I definitely wouldn't have gone on a date with a guy based on the fact that he's going to buy me a $5 coffee.

If I was on a date, I was at least somewhat interested in the guy.

And cheaping out on coffee would have been a turn-off, a tell about his values and personality, and a sign that he doesn't value me or the fact that I was interested enough in him to go out on the date.

Edited 13 hours ago by Emerald

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, AION said:

You have to be more casual about it. It sounds like you are going to war. You are just talking to people with different genitals than you  😭

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