Relationships are immature.

[Emerald]

31 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Typically this ends up with users who can display some quite profound insights - TOTALLY domain specific. I will read some great stuff from them. But I am hesitant to consider many here truly well rounded, mature people. Some users have regressed to retarded states in some domains (I use retarded in the formal sense, not the derogatory way). I am consistently shocked and disappointed when I read some really crazy takes from an otherwise intelligent sounding individual.

Obviously we all have our blind spots.

But relationships can be fantastic at fast-track revealing these - cross domain. And mainly because you are engaging in experiential reality with a team mate by your side. Direct feedback with another. 

Most people get caught in defining others by the value they bring in relationships. Ultimately they are about connection. And all of what true connection entails.

Yes, that's exactly what I see too. There's a lot of asynchronous development, where there's high development on some topics but below-average development with regard to certain domains of maturity and day-to-day life.

And unfortunately, being the "guy who's transcended social needs" is something that increases social capital in this culture. So, it creates a personal development culture that stunts personal development in many domains.

[Lyubov]

I mean yeah a lot of relationships are fairly immature but don’t be too harsh in your judgement. We learn through mistakes and life. And a relationship can be a really beautiful thing. “Falling in love” it’s a really powerful and wonderful experience even if it’s a bit immature. Love matures, relationships mature and they can be really fun. It’s great to have someone to call your family. 

[Willy Phallicus]

Choose whatever fiction works for you.  

If its that relationships suck and are a waste of time you'll have no problem finding evidence for it and living out your relationships are immature 3D fantasy sob story.

The beautiful part is that frees up someone else to choose a lifelong partner, lover, confidante, friend, and every other good thing.

 

[Joseph Maynor]

Have you ever forgotten someone's name that you knew well many years ago and it is driving you crazy?  You can see their face but you can't remember their name.  

[Joseph Maynor]

We are not always going to be treated in a way that is congruent to our liking! 

[LordFall]

On 10/8/2026 at 5:42 PM, Emerald said:

Foregoing relationships will only make you less conscious.

I really dislike the culture that gets set up in this social group... to look down on the tendency to exist in a social group... whilst spending a lot of time interacting on the social group.

It's like the blindspot of this forum.

There is a both a lot of pride and ego surrounding this on the forum. It's really sad and lacks intelligent problem solving skills imo. 

If you believe yourself to be above a problem then you will never truly look for powerful solutions to achieve your goals and just invalidate them in your mind and you will just be left with nagging suffering in the background.

If you have the humility to admit to yourself that you suck in an area, dating in this context, and then try whatever solution makes sense to fix it then you're way more likely to be able to increase your social skills and find someone compatible with you within a few months or a couple of years at most. 

Men checking out of the dating marketplace is nothing new, a few years ago it was called MGTOW. I think it's a bit silly and is like covering the fire in your basement with a tarp and hoping that it burns slowly enough to give you still a decent quality of life for a while longer. 

Shoutout to @Olaf for publicly broadcasting his learning journey, hopefully he motivates a lot of guys to take action and not be afraid of admitting their shortcomings publicly. 

[Jirh]

It's easy to criticize things from the outside and aspire to perfection.

The real challenge is being able to hold perfection inside a relationship when you have your ego at stake. This is the real test of your maturity and spirituality. Most people fail.