I Slept With a Woman Who Hated Men

[Natasha Tori Maru]

8 minutes ago, JoshB said:

This is absolute cringe toxic red pill behavior

You sound like a reddit mod 

Reddit mods are like turds that won't flush:

[JoshB]

5 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Reddit mods are like turds that won't flush:

That's insulting to turds that don't flush

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@JoshB deadass 🤣🤣 

Never change 

[JoshB]

15 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@JoshB deadass 🤣🤣 

Never change 

it was also the aita subreddit 

he was indeed the asshole

[LordFall]

7 hours ago, aurum said:

Positive experiences with men could be healing for some feminists. But that's not what is going on in this thread.

Even having a goal of wanting to convert feminists is already problematic.

The goal should be to add value to people's lives that you encounter. @Monster Energy seems to have a lack of belief in his own value so he constantly tests it against the world both with the polarizing threads that he posts here and likely in his own real life as well.

Once a man gets past this stage and builds authentic self-esteem, he can actually become a healing embodiment of the divine masculine.

I think overall the idea makes sense: if some women harbor resentment toward men, they can introspect and use therapy to deconstruct it, but positive experiences with quality men are what truly heal that cynicism. And the exact same applies in reverse to men who carry bitterness toward women.

[yetineti]

16 hours ago, Ulax said:

@yetineti That was a slimy move

@Ulax 

Yeah, explain it to me.

[LordFall]

You already explained it yourself a few posts up: you admitted you like to "weaponize curiosity" and that throwing out a radioactive label like that was just a "gamble" to see if you could bait a reaction. That’s textbook weaponized empathy.

Pretending you’re offering someone "harsh care" and an "open door," only to drop extreme accusations out of sheer boredom because your armchair psychoanalysis didn't land the first time, is what looks slimy.

There's no insight there, just 2 bored dudes saying weird shit in different ways. 

Edited 7 hours ago by LordFall

[Emerald]

20 hours ago, yetineti said:

@Monster Energy

You give off rape/abuse vibes, in my opinion.

I don’t say that lightly or as an accusation.

Whatever your demeanor, it’s geared quite myopically.

Think about whatever you’re doing. It’s obvious you got a Buddha pickup lesson somewhere along the way.

Edit: I was going to say frat boy vibes but honestly, he would’ve just made a joke about it being a compliment.

I get what you're saying. But I don't think it's that kind of abuse/non-consent thing.

I do think it's more of a fantasy though... being projected onto the situation.

Like, "I met this man-hating Feminist who hated all men. But she met me and was so attracted to me that, when I slept with her, she stopped hating men." That sounds like a fantasy to bolster the self-esteem because it emphasizes the specialness of the man in question.

Like, "This woman hated all men, until she met me. Now she loves all men because they reminder her of me!"

The greater likelihood is that he met and slept with a woman who identifies as a Feminist or has some vaguely Feminist views.

Or maybe she's not even a Feminist (in principle or identification) and just has some milquetoast misandry and criticisms of specific sorts of guys that she's had negative experiences with in the past. (ie. Like women who make sweeping generalizations about men with their girlfriends while drinking wine at a girls' night... but it's really geared towards specific men she's dated in the past.)

If the woman was a Feminist, then it's not a surprise that she slept with him. Most Feminist women are sexually attracted to men... and have boyfriends and husbands.

And if the woman is the milquetoast misandrist who complains generally about men, those women tend to be often be the MOST obsessed with men. It's kind of a form of being boy-crazy, in a way... because men are always on their minds, even if in negative ways. (Similar to how misogynistic guys are the most obsessed with women)

[yetineti]

3 hours ago, LordFall said:

You already explained it yourself a few posts up: you admitted you like to "weaponize curiosity" and that throwing out a radioactive label like that was just a "gamble" to see if you could bait a reaction. That’s textbook weaponized empathy.

Pretending you’re offering someone "harsh care" and an "open door," only to drop extreme accusations out of sheer boredom because your armchair psychoanalysis didn't land the first time, is what looks slimy.

There's no insight there, just 2 bored dudes saying weird shit in different ways. 

I had admitted to that. How characteristic it is of you to weaponize it, miss the point, and end with a vague insult.

No questions were asked, deliberately. If I was actually weaponizing my curiosity here I would be trying to figure out why he’s this way—which is honestly somewhat of a courtesy of understanding. For instance, I’ve left you alone and been less hostile since you’ve explained why you may be the way you are.

Nobody owes me that. But it can be owed, generally. That’s what I realized. That’s why I pointed it out. How uncharitable of you to frame it as such.

As I said, I wanted to just say ‘frat boy’—most people would know what I mean by that. But the people that we actually think are acting that way don’t see an issue with it, and even sometimes take it as a compliment. Sometimes you have to be a little hyperbolic to point out certain behaviors to people.

If I would’ve just said ‘I bet you’re a rapist’ I’d understand where you are coming from a bit more. But I deliberately was vulnerable and even explained that I didn’t even want to say what I said.

@Monster Energy Actually responded positively.

That’s what people often miss about me here. I speak to one person at a time. It’s really easy to dismantle my arguments if you don’t want to engage with them.

 

Edited 3 hours ago by yetineti

[yetineti]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I get what you're saying. But I don't think it's that kind of abuse/non-consent thing.

I do think it's more of a fantasy though... being projected onto the situation.

Like, "I met this man-hating Feminist who hated all men. But she met me and was so attracted to me that, when I slept with her, she stopped hating men." That sounds like a fantasy to bolster the self-esteem because it emphasizes the specialness of the man in question.

Like, "This woman hated all men, until she met me. Now she loves all men because they reminder her of me!"

The greater likelihood is that he met and slept with a woman who identifies as a Feminist or has some vaguely Feminist views.

Or maybe she's not even a Feminist (in principle or identification) and just has some milquetoast misandry and criticisms of specific sorts of guys that she's had negative experiences with in the past. (ie. Like women who make sweeping generalizations about men with their girlfriends while drinking wine at a girls' night... but it's really geared towards specific men she's dated in the past.)

If the woman was a Feminist, then it's not a surprise that she slept with him. Most Feminist women are sexually attracted to men... and have boyfriends and husbands.

And if the woman is the milquetoast misandrist who complains generally about men, those women tend to be often be the MOST obsessed with men. It's kind of a form of being boy-crazy, in a way... because men are always on their minds, even if in negative ways. (Similar to how misogynistic guys are the most obsessed with women)

@EmeraldI know it’s not but the people who need to hear it don’t listen when it is said like that. It made perfect sense to me what you said, but let’s be honest. Do you not think that monster energy wouldn’t have just played this off as a joke if you would’ve suggested it to him directly?

Your analysis is almost so accurate that it could just slip past.

Edited 3 hours ago by yetineti

[yetineti]

The point of the rape/abuse comment was that boasting about manipulation to get sex raises a concern about where that mindset can lead when someone’s desires take priority over another person’s boundaries. I wasn’t claiming that happened here. Monster Energy may have responded more openly because he understood I was challenging that mindset, rather than accusing him of a crime. That’s what I mean when I say I’m speaking to one person at a time. His response doesn’t prove my interpretation, but it matters to understanding the exchange.

[yetineti]

Sometimes, I feel like a total fucking ass here.

Alternatively, I don’t think some of you really take the time to consider context and/or who something is being said to.

Too often, this forum becomes vague intellectual platitudes, nobody gets addressed and no progress is actually made.

It’s honestly its own weird form of white knighting. Too often people come in, critique my comments to others without considering how the individual themselves responded, where the point came from, tone, etc.

It’s getting really annoying.

Edited 2 hours ago by yetineti

[Sugarcoat]

This post is made up/a joke right? Its funny to me, I'm just curious if my suspicions are correct. Not only this post, but several other posts of Monster Energy too seem as obvious jokes to me, plus the overall impression made me see it this way. 

It's weird to me I've not seen anyone yet suggest this. 

[yetineti]

@Sugarcoat

Yes, he literally admitted it was bait/a joke. It is funny in general, but when you consider who or where is is coming from and the responses there after it becomes more questionable (the purpose or motive, beyond humor).

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, yetineti said:

@Sugarcoat

Yes, he literally admitted it was bait/a joke. It is funny in general, but when you consider who or where is is coming from and the responses there after it becomes more questionable (the purpose or motive, beyond humor).

Ok I missed that

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

Ok I missed that

To my message.

You got the clairvoyance superpower too

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, yetineti said:

@EmeraldI know it’s not but the people who need to hear it don’t listen when it is said like that. It made perfect sense to me what you said, but let’s be honest. Do you not think that monster energy wouldn’t have just played this off as a joke if you would’ve suggested it to him directly?

Your analysis is almost so accurate that it could just slip past.

If I'm understanding you correctly, I'm not sure that the best way to get through to him is by implying that he sounds like he's angling at something non-consensual... unless he actually were truly doing that.

But I don't get that vibe.

I think he's just kind of insecure and worried that women don't like him specifically... and that women don't like men in general.

So, he seems to cope with that fear by posting unrealistic scenarios... either negatively or positively.

Like, I recall one of his posts was expressing a fear that women are only attracted to gay men (he seemed very relieved when I told him that women tend not to be attracted to gay men, as there's an awareness that there's no possibility of anything romantic developing).

And there were a few other posts like that too where there seem to be some anxieties about women's feelings about men as a whole group.

Then, there are other posts that are generally kind of braggy. And part of me wonders if it's more for the sake of male approval in this space where 90-95% of the members are male... or if it's more of a way to frame experiences he had in the most esteem-boosting way that he can.

So, whether or not he actually slept with the "Feminist" woman isn't 100% clear to me. It also isn't clear to me that she's actually a man-hater or a Feminist.

But regardless of whether true or made up, he seems to create stories and interpretations that frame him as special to women... like a uniquely valuable person who does things most people can't.

So, it's less, "I'm going to force a woman to do something against her will." and more, "This woman who hates all men, joyfully consented to sleeping with me, because I was the exception."

But he also does a Motte and Bailey style of argument where he'll argue or say something outlandish... and then retreat to something more moderate like that had been his view all along. So, that's frustrating.

Though, I think the plausible deniability that sets up could be another self-esteem thing... where he'll say something out there to test the waters and then retreat to something more moderate in order to avoid rejection.