Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Perhaps it is a question of our ability to detect “higher consciousness” and what metrics we use to measure it against. As we develop, what we consider to be markers of higher consciousness can change. But how are we refining, learning and accumulating genuinely new methods of connecting relationally so that we can accurately assess “higher consciousness” in another person?

There is always a risk that we THINK we know what markers to look for when identifying elevated levels of consciousness. The filter itself can become the block. And the filter changes as we grow.

The problem is that the filter can become a fail mode: it can cause us to stop connecting with someone because they don't exhibit the particular markers we currently associate with higher consciousness.

You run the risk of the frame itself being flawed when the question is framed as higher/lower, because ego can obviously sneak in: “I am above.”

But that isn't the only possible block (that I am "above" and you are "below:). What we currently look for as markers of “higher consciousness” in another person might itself be outdated.

Perhaps @Miguel1 is growing out of previous filters and trying to learn a new way? It could be what he is looking for as a marker is wrong - not that he automatically thinks he is above.

My discernment may be flawed ≠ I am judging you as inferior

[questionreality]

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

My advice in this thread is not aimed at inexperienced guys but Miguel, who is over-experienced and looking for a higher stage.

What makes you think that it is a "higher" stage? Human beings are social creatures and he mentioned that he is an extrovert as well. Higher stage is building healthy, nourishing, fullfilling relationships imo, which is what he desires

[pablo_aka_god]

Why do you have such high expectations for the people you date?

I have lowered the bar for people I befriend or hook up with and I'm so much happier.

I am the one who cares about consciousness, I let other people live their lives and don't judge them.

Anecdotally, I had a close friend who has more conscious than avg and he was a PITA a lot of times, very boring and judgedamental guy. I stopped seeing him and replaced him w normies that make me laugh. I prefer a friend who makes me laugh than a know-it-all

Edited 10 hours ago by pablo_aka_god

[Natasha Tori Maru]

19 minutes ago, pablo_aka_god said:

Why do you have such high expectations for the people you date?

I have lowered the bar for people I befriend or hook up with and I'm so much happier.

I am the one who cares about consciousness, I let other people live their lives and don't judge them.

Anecdotally, I had a close friend who has more conscious than avg and he was a PITA a lot of times, very boring and judgedamental guy. I stopped seeing him and replaced him w normies that make me laugh. I prefer a friend who makes me laugh than a know-it-all

I personally do not require all (or most) of my needs across domains to be met by one person.

I do not have to lower my standards per se. I spread them out within agreed upon relationship boundaries.

This can be an option, also.

For example, I do not seek necessarily to share my creative/artistic endeavours with my partner as a requirement. I have other networks of people for that need. It is nice when they are interested or want to engage, though!

[Miguel1]

Good morning!

These last 1-2 pages of comments here are some of the most mature I’ve gotten on the topic, if not the most. Thank you.

This is what I expect the quality is when I start this conversation.

I have to start my day and will get back to you all with more thought but here are some short thoughts to answer everyone:

- Yes, I have dated multiple ”normies” and I have also dated one girl who was somewhat more elevated in her thinking. The quality of intimacy, enjoyment and satisfaction was day and night.

- At this point I am not really interested inc ”casual dating” anymore where we do normal dating stuff like hold hands and watch a movie together. I am looking for a life partner. Someone to build something healthy and sustainable for life.

- This means they need to be quite self-aware. And I don’t necessarily mean in the sense of spirituality and consciousness but: how self-aware are they of their self-deceptions, lies, biases, weaknesses and strenghts? How well do they know themselves? — and how interested are they in working on these? Because if they are to be my life partner with whom we have deep intimacy, explore the journey that is the mind and life together, they need to care. At least to a degree. On top of other stuff as well. As @BlessedLion lion said - she needs to be quite something special.

- This journey of self-development and spirituality is the most important thing for me. And having a partner with whom I cannot share at all about it? That’s really a shame. Of couse there are partner who would listen as a love for me, but are they actually sharing my excitement for discovering something new about me and my growth?

- Otherwise I could just be alone. And as I said, I’ve done so much normal dating that it doesn’t really satisfy me anymore. I desire DEEP intimacy.

- Leo’s emphasis of making growth a hierarchial thing is very practical in my opinion. It helps navigate the world.

- - - - -

I have to run now but will get back with you all.

Thank you so much for contributing.

@Lyubov @Joshe @Natasha Tori Maru @oOo and others.

 

Edited 6 hours ago by Miguel1

[Miguel1]

This thread has given me even more clarity.

Thank you.

[Miguel1]

Contemplate:

Why are some of the most conscious and developed people single? Why is Leo single (if he is)?

I am not saying I am one of the most conscious by any means but that’s the goal one day.

[Miguel1]

14 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Especially when I was 18-25. These years were free pussy for my strenghts.

Girls this age gives pretty much zero fuck about character in the man. And neither did I in them.

Being the top street dancer here and taking over clubs, always being in the center of dance floors / and the circles made in them, and having people cheer and clap for me didn’t hurt either.

(massive attraction boost).

We used to always take over clubs with my dance crew. And as the natural extrovert who is charismatic and the leader, you can imagine.

Edited 5 hours ago by Miguel1

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

This thread has given me even more clarity.

Thank you.

Even if it's just a matter of prompting the right questions for contemplation 🥰

[Salvijus]

One cannot move beyond relationships altogether since life itself is a relationship fundamentally. But what you can do is refine your awareness from which you relate to your brothers and sisters in a wholly new way. And what can be more wholly than to use each moment in the recognition that only God's children can truly relate one to another. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Salvijus

[Miguel1]

12 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

One cannot move beyond relationships altogether since life itself is a relationship fundamentally. But what you can do is refine your awareness from which you relate to your brothers and sisters in a wholly new way. And what can be more wholly than to use each moment in the recognition that only God's children can truly relate one to another. 

This sounds nice in theory but in reality being in a relationship with a stage red muslim is hell. The more conscious you are, the worse it gets 

[Salvijus]

8 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

This sounds nice in theory but in reality being in a relationship with a stage red muslim is hell. The more conscious you are, the worse it gets 

How you relate to the things around you is entirely dependant on your own quality of conciousness. Only how much others can receive and appreciate it is no longer your business. 

[AION]

I meditated on this topic because I have a similar issue but I’m different too. I’m introverted instead of extroverted like Miguel. And I didn’t have it easy with dating. Lately I have a lot of success though. Through hard work. I didn’t come easy like for Miguel. But I reached a plateau too where others can’t reach me.

And with reached I mean the young attractive women I wanted to be reached by. Because my DM is filled with milfs that can reach me where I want but I don’t want it from them.
 

I think the right move here to give those milfs a chance but I’m not that spiritual too look beyond the wrinkles and bad decisions. And that is ok. 
 

That would be the ultimate one taste. But fuck that bullshit. I’m just a human. If others want to larp as god and play captain save a hoe be my guest. But I’m just integral. Some mfs here say they are god and still want to date a 20 year cutie and expect her to be mother Theresa from the inside. Lmao. This topic is gold. This forum is becoming a clown show. 😭😭😭

Edited 3 hours ago by AION

[Miguel1]

11 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

How you relate to the things around you is entirely dependant on your own quality of conciousness. Only how much others can receive and appreciate it is no longer your business. 

Again, nice words but I think you need to touch grass brother.

We are human beings living in a finite life. Other people can cause you massive suffering.

[Salvijus]

@Miguel1 🙏 

[Miguel1]

@AION Thank you for sharing brother.

Yes this forum nowadays lack quality posts. Especially on this dating subforum. Bunch of low quality posts and trolling. Even our oldest moderator got demoted for behaving poorly.

I’m not sure why as Leo has kicked out most trolls away and barely allows anyone new in.

- - - - -

Upon deeper reflection, God did give me the perfect to extensively exhaust sex very fast.

Not only were the ages 18-25 the easiest for me in dating but also the girls were that age were easily the hottest. I got so much of it, it lost most of its appeal.

The downside is that my standard and what I am used to in physical beauty is so high due to my youth. No matter how much I try to lower my standards, I can only do so much.

All my 4 ex gfs were stunning. Such beauty.

So now at this young age, whose psychological and spiritual development is relatively very high compared to an average person my age, and top that with the physical beauty I am used to..

How can I find such a partner, especially when beautiful and young girls mostly have no incentives to do the work?

Letting go of dating seems very appealing at this point. It would free me of so much time and energy + I would get massive growth boost as I would be able to let go of the biases, mindgames and bullshits that is dating normies.

I would be able to become noticeably more authentic and honest.

I would have way more time and energy for my life purpose. And my growth.

And if a unicorn crosses my life, I’m all in with her.

[AION]

@Miguel1 you never have this hunger to be with a girl, just emotional connection without the spiritual? I don’t need a girl for spiritual connection. I just want her company, good vibes and most of all feminine energy which I lack myself. 

[Miguel1]

23 minutes ago, AION said:

@Miguel1 you never have this hunger to be with a girl, just emotional connection without the spiritual? I don’t need a girl for spiritual connection. I just want her company, good vibes and most of all feminine energy which I lack myself. 

I have that too. But I have a deeply integrated feminine and emotional side to me.

[Miguel1]

Overall, it is impossible to trust a partner who is not relatively self-aware and conscious.

And without trust, there is no partnership.

This is one of the most important, if not the most important reasons I want a conscious partner.

Edited 3 hours ago by Miguel1

[something_else]

Go to Nepal, or Northern India. Especially to a yoga retreat. I met sooo many spiritual girls travelling there from all over the world to get a yoga teaching certificate. This commitment automatically selects for the people who are seriously spiritual and not just superficially so.

Also, many of the women I met were in their 30s but looked like they were in their early twenties. And very open and fun with their sexuality.

It sounds like that’s basically exactly the type of woman you’re looking for, and if I had your goal that’s exactly where I’d go. And you are probably exactly what they’d consider their type as well. Hot, spiritual, deep, social, and a dancer