girls don't like nice guys

[Joseph Maynor]

58 minutes ago, Jirh said:

It's actually interesting, because being nice is a female survival strategy.

When they see you implementing their survival strategy, their system automatically places you in the friend-zone, because you remind them of themselves and their female friends.

It's not that they don't like nice guys. It's that they don't want to have sex with a girl. Polarity is required for attraction.

Nice guys are used and discarded. They end up doormats that get walked on, because they're weak and incapable of enforcing boundaries. They fail all the shit tests.

Obviously, there are cases where even the nice guy is attractive. But they usually involve unhealthy dynamics.

Don't fake it homie.  Be yourself and chill.  

[AION]

There is nothing wrong with nice guys. What is anti seductive is the desperation, clinging and self absorption. And above all he is hiding only showing his persona so her animus projection doesn’t have anything to cling on. I know literal killers who are nice but at the same time so dangerous and masculine. It is such a weird duality to see. 

Edited yesterday at 06:12 AM by AION

[Jirh]

1 hour ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Don't fake it homie.  Be yourself and chill.  

Huh?

[something_else]

Nice just isn't really a distinctive personality trait. If the best someone can say about you is that you're "nice" then it means you are likely quite boring.

Kindness is attractive, especially if coming from a place of strength where you choose to be kind.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 hour ago, Jirh said:

Huh?

Um Hm.  

[Zenterus]

The blind leading the blind.

Most men's idea of being nice is synonymous to being a weak pussy. That's what women don't like, not the nice part. 

In fact, the longer I am in the game, the nicer I am to women. But I still have boundaries, I'm still being authentic, I'm still grounded, fun, charming, dominant, assertive, willing to tease, etc.

Women respond to strength. Strength comes in all forms. Trying to mold yourself and bend your own values into something you think the woman will like is inherently weak.

Instead, ask yourself: "In what ways am I weak as a man?" The answers will come to you and now you have a roadmap to success 

Furthermore, find multiple men who you deeply respect and admire and ask yourself "Why do I hold these men at high regard and what traits do they possess that I do not?" For more insight.

Being a douche isn't gonna get you any results if the woman doesnt inherently find you attractive on that primal level. It will only result in harsher rejections and potentially developing a very negative reputation in your city 

[Olaf]

@Zenterus but Zenterus, you are not a nice guy, lets be fair. You might be kind and bring good energy to woman, but you are not pleasing them and trying to manipulate with nice guy behavior: buying them a beer, showering them with compliments etc.

[Jirh]

2 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Um Hm.  

If you have something to say, be a man and say it. Don't play games.

[Zenterus]

@Olaf Sure, if by "nice guy" you mean being manipulative, fake and supplicative, then I agree with you. But I call that being weak rather than being nice, there's a difference.

No woman sees that kind of behaviour and thinks "oh, he's so nice." They might say that to the guy as a way to manipulate him into doubling down on his supplicative behaviours (because it benefits them) or to reject him in a polite way, but in reality women see that guy for what he is: a sucker.

And while I absolutely am the epitome and definition of a perfect masculine manly man (humbly), Im actually not against buying girls drinks.

I mean, yeah, if I approach a girl and shes like "buy me a drink" then I'll tell her to fuck off (literally). However, if I think a girl genuinely likes me and is invested in me and it's very likely that we'll go home together—meaning that she's been qualifying herself to me, has been compliant and even followed me to a secondary location—I'm not against buying her a drink.

 

[Valach]

4 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

@Olaf Sure, if by "nice guy" you mean being manipulative, fake and supplicative, then I agree with you. But I call that being weak rather than being nice, there's a difference.

No woman sees that kind of behaviour and thinks "oh, he's so nice." They might say that to the guy as a way to manipulate him into doubling down on his supplicative behaviours (because it benefits them) or to reject him in a polite way, but in reality women see that guy for what he is: a sucker.

And while I absolutely am the epitome and definition of a perfect masculine manly man (humbly), Im actually not against buying girls drinks.

I mean, yeah, if I approach a girl and shes like "buy me a drink" then I'll tell her to fuck off (literally). However, if I think a girl genuinely likes me and is invested in me and it's very likely that we'll go home together—meaning that she's been qualifying herself to me, has been compliant and even followed me to a secondary location—I'm not against buying her a drink.

 

Basically what it all comes down to is asking yourself "Do I want to do this thing or am I doing it to get something from the other party" - that is the difference between the fake niceness and genuine one. That requires some level of self awareness. 

Edited 21 hours ago by Valach

[Xonas Pitfall]

This whole rhetoric is meaningless.

Everyone wants someone who is “nice.” The issue is that, for either gender, “nice” by itself isn’t enough.

No guy is having sex with a girl simply because she’s nice. No guy is going into a relationship with a girl simply because she’s nice. No guy is marrying or staying committed long-term to a girl just because she’s “nice.”

People want a combination of things: someone they find hot, fun, sexy, attractive, intelligent, compatible, kind, reliable, safe, etc.

Saying “girls don’t want nice guys” is basically equivalent to a girl saying, “Guys don’t want nice girls. They always cheat on them with hot girls.” It’s the same flawed framing.

It’s like a "conventionally unattractive" girl saying, “Why don’t guys want sweet girls like me? They only want bimbos who are hot, bratty, materialistic, and bitchy.”

Please don’t get caught up in these cringey “nice guy/nice girl” paradigms. They’re mostly meaningless.

The only useful takeaway from the statement is that people generally aren’t going to enter or maintain a relationship with you simply because you’re sweet or nice. But that doesn’t mean you should become an asshole or a jerk. It simply means that being nice isn’t a substitute for attraction, compatibility, or everything else people look for in a partner.

Most people want to be attracted to their partner and be treated well by them. That’s the ideal. Nobody is sitting there thinking, “Damn, I really want my partner to treat me like dogshit.”

Niceness isn’t going to save a relationship if the two people are fundamentally incompatible in terms of values, sexuality, lifestyle, goals, personality, etc.

It’s a good thing that people aren’t entering relationships simply because someone is “nice.” For a stable, long-term commitment, you ideally need compatibility across a lot of different areas.

[Olaf]

@Zenterus maybe the word "being a sucker" is better then being nice. Like 5 weeks ago or something I helped a guy approaching for the first time in his life, he approached a group of girls and then I lost him. I was like where is this guy? I looked around and then realised that he had been dragging the suitcase of these woman for 2 blocks, one in each hand to her hotel, it took like 5 mins. That is the definition of being a sucker. It was very funny.  

[something_else]

19 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Zenterus maybe the word "being a sucker" is better then being nice. Like 5 weeks ago or something I helped a guy approaching for the first time in his life, he approached a group of girls and then I lost him. I was like where is this guy? I looked around and then realised that he had been dragging the suitcase of these woman for 2 blocks, one in each hand to her hotel, it took like 5 mins. That is the definition of being a sucker. It was very funny.  

You could def pull this off in a way that women find attractive. Doesn’t sound like he did, but it’s def possible.

[Olaf]

@something_else walk to their hotel room? what is this strategy?  I think they even wanted to pay him, they thought he was some helper or something 

[Chilang]

It’s funny because I’ve always heard people saying this, but it’s not true in my experience. I’m married now, but before this I was very successful with women, and I always did my best to be a true gentleman and treat women with kindness. Confident women know they deserve to be treated well. I think this is very clear to see when observing teenagers, young girls with low self esteem don’t know they deserve to be treated well (unconsciously). This changes when they become adults, at least if they develop into a confident, self loving woman. Obviously no one likes a weak guy or a loser, but that’s different. Besides, it feels great to be nice to people, I wouldn’t want to avoid doing something that feels great just so that someone will like me. Then they won’t even like the real me. Kindness is great. 

[Inliytened1]

On 9/28/2026 at 8:47 PM, Leo Gura said:

It is simple: women like strong men.

"Nice guy" is a form of weakness.

They like the bad boys. 

Oh god the story today. These were blasts from the past but I now have two girls best friends in a competition for me.  So today one came over and I banged her. But her friend basically handed it to me on a platter and said she had shaved maybe looking for sex.  I've been talking to her friend ever since she left my house. Girls are crazy man. You try to figure this shit out. 

Edited 11 hours ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Inliytened1 said:

They like the bad boys. 

Oh god the story today. These were blasts from the past but I now have two girls best friends in a competition for me.  So today one came over and I banged her. But her friend basically handed it to me on a platter and said she had shaved maybe looking for sex.  I've been talking to her friend ever since she left my house. Girls are crazy man. You try to figure this shit out. 

It's time, we've been preparing for this exact moment. 

You must now invite them both over at the same time over a bottle of wine and let the magic happen. Not the Disney kind of magic; much better.

You got this soldier, report back! 

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, LordFall said:

It's time, we've been preparing for this exact moment. 

You must now invite them both over at the same time over a bottle of wine and let the magic happen. Not the Disney kind of magic; much better.

You got this soldier, report back! 

This is the weirdest shit and I've seen some shit. Yes they have both came over but not at the same time.  Are you insane? 

[LordFall]

27 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

This is the weirdest shit and I've seen some shit. Yes they have both came over but not at the same time.  Are you insane? 

You should screen if they're open to it beforehand but many girls would be. Plenty of women are bicurious and too anxious to give it a go. I'm half joking don't just spring it up on them but definitely discuss it. 

[Leo Gura]

The solution is: be strong but be respectful.

Disrespecting girls will cost you quality girls and attract broken girls.