Men giving up on dating

[Mixcoatl]

I live with enough money for food, rent, and gas. So I have plenty of time to party, develop my mind, relax and do art. That's perfect for me... But not for girls. They always eventually end up telling me: "you don't have life goals, you don't know what you want in life" because for most of them, having life goals equals to pursuing money and businesses. I feel frustrated, so I decided to give up on dating. 

What do you guys and girls think of that?

[AerisVahnEphelia]

Find people with different values

[Majed]

@Mixcoatl Dude girls don't care about your money situation, if they talk about it, it means they aren't attracted to you. Plus you shouldn't give up on getting laid, most girls you'll pick up from the club to your place won't know how much money you have. 

[Someone here]

Do you have a job ? How do you pay your bills? Why don’t you have ambitions in life ? What kind of girls are you interested in ? 

Edited 4 hours ago by Someone here

[Mixcoatl]

Just now, Someone here said:

Do you have a job ? How do you pay your bills? Why don’t you have ambitions in life ? What kind of girls are you interested in ? 

Of course I have a job. And of course I have a lot of ambitions: making my art, development of my mind. Aren't those things an ambition? Why always people think ambitions=money? 

[Mixcoatl]

12 minutes ago, Majed said:

@Mixcoatl Dude girls don't care about your money situation, if they talk about it, it means they aren't attracted to you. Plus you shouldn't give up on getting laid, most girls you'll pick up from the club to your place won't know how much money you have. 

Sex is not my priority anymore. I want a relationship 

[Someone here]

1 minute ago, Mixcoatl said:

Of course I have a job. And of course I have a lot of ambitions: making my art, development of my mind. Aren't those things an ambition? Why always people think ambitions=money? 

Well, you said the main reason you can’t find a girl is they think of you as having no goals in life .  

[aurum]

@Mixcoatl what about family?

Life goals does not necessarily just mean career to most women. Most women who are serious about a relationship will want to see that you’re interested in living together, marriage, buying a house, kids etc.

For them, a relationship not moving in that direction will feel static and pointless.

[Mixcoatl]

Just now, Someone here said:

Well, you said the main reason you can’t find a girl is they think of you as having no goals in life .  

Certainly. Bc for most of them, developing my art is not a real goal. For most of them, having real goals in life is having money. It indirectly is. I'm not denying I wanna have more money, but it has to come after my art, not before.

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, Mixcoatl said:

Certainly. Bc for most of them, developing my art is not a real goal. For most of them, having real goals in life is having money. It indirectly is. I'm not denying I wanna have more money, but it has to come after my art, not before.

What art do you create ? You can get paid for it if you’re talented as well .

[Rishabh R]

@Mixcoatl You're doing well. What I would suggest you to give up on chasing women rather than giving up on women. There's a difference. The 1st will make you more happier and second one isolated. I too felt like this yesterday night . 

[Olaf]

@Mixcoatl do you believe you are the shit? If you think you are the shit, she thinks you are the shit, despite what you do, also if you are insecure about what you do she will see you as qualifying yourself to her and you lose frame in the relationship, therefor she also will break up with you, its not about what you do, it is how you present yourself and how you present what you do.

Edited 4 hours ago by Olaf

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Mixcoatl said:

Sex is not my priority anymore. I want a relationship 

In that case yeah most women will be pretty pragmatic about things and think about what you can provide, what your long term planning is like, etc. I wish my YouTube paid money but I can’t put that pressure on it or expect it to substitute for my real job which I use to support myself and my wife financially. There is nothing wrong just focusing on your art but we gotta be honest with ourselves and realistic about the way the world is. If no one wants to make long term plans with you maybe it means you haven’t set your life up to do so while considering another person? 

[Mixcoatl]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

What art do you create ? You can get paid for it if you’re talented as well .

Bakery, painting and music. I'm going towards that direction, but in the meantime, I'm invisible for women to make a relationship.

2 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

@Mixcoatl You're doing well. What I would suggest you to give up on chasing women rather than giving up on women. There's a difference. The 1st will make you more happier and second one isolated. I too felt like this yesterday night . 

Good point. I appreciate it.

 

2 hours ago, Olaf said:

@Mixcoatl do you believe you are the shit? If you think you are the shit, she thinks you are the shit, despite what you do, also if you are insecure about what you do she will see you as qualifying yourself to her and you lose frame in the relationship, therefor she also will break up with you, its not about what you do, it is how you present yourself and how you present what you do.

I recognize that I am feeding that vicious circle.

 

42 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

I wish my YouTube paid money but I can’t put that pressure on it or expect it to substitute for my real job which I use to support myself and my wife financially. 

I wish women didn't expect men to be the providers nowadays. Share your yt channel 

[LordFall]

3 hours ago, Mixcoatl said:

I live with enough money for food, rent, and gas. So I have plenty of time to party, develop my mind, relax and do art. That's perfect for me... But not for girls. They always eventually end up telling me: "you don't have life goals, you don't know what you want in life" because for most of them, having life goals equals to pursuing money and businesses. I feel frustrated, so I decided to give up on dating. 

What do you guys and girls think of that?

How many dates have you been on in the past 6 months? If you've only been on 2 or 3 dates and one person gave you that reaction, you're reaching a final conclusion when you just have too small of a sample size to know if you can really attract cool women at the stage of life you're at now. 

If you are pursuing different things but have not achieved success then women will be a lot more forgiving than if you're not doing anything in life nor care to make your life interesting.

8 minutes ago, Mixcoatl said:

Bakery, painting and music. I'm going towards that direction, but in the meantime, I'm invisible for women to make a relationship.

Good point. I appreciate it.

 

I recognize that I am feeding that vicious circle.

 

I wish women didn't expect men to be the providers nowadays. Share your yt channel 

It seems that you do have hobbies. Women don't need a provider but you score bonus points for being able to fill that role for sure! Being a provider is not easy and it requires excellence in the marketplace which a lot of men will not reach. It's a good ideal to aim for but if you want dates in the next few months you don't need to have achieved it to find dating success. 

Edited 2 hours ago by LordFall