I want to have sex with a girl this week

[Inliytened1]

29 minutes ago, Ulax said:

You're right. They sit down with a pen and paper and pre-plan every interaction  

😀

They're really really smart at testing us. We need pen and paper.  They don't, they naturally can do it on the fly while we're just dumb brutes

It's an ability most of us straight guys don't possess.

Edited 29 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Yeah well telling the difference is the hard part.  What you really want to look for is Sassy and Imtelligent. One that will take control.  That's excitement.

Yes I like smart and somewhat dominant women too. For me they also need to know when to give up control and be submissive. Then it becomes a fun dance of polarity. Some women are very uncalibrated and it turns me off pretty instantly.

I like women that can banter and speak well, I'm definitely a sapiosexual. 

[Ulax]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

😀

They're really really smart at testing us. We need pen and paper.  They don't naturally can it on the fly while we're just dumb brutes

 

*hot dumb brutes

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

Of course.  I meant he can be the most mature guy on planet earth but if he doesn't seem attractive to you it's all for naught.   But yeah.  I know what you meant.

Attraction is so weird though! What I am attracted to has changed. 

People SAY they are attracted and want one thing, but then fall for something totally different. Same sorta shit with buying and purchases. 

I think a lot of attraction comes down to familiarity with our first attachment patterns and learned love signalling when children. Even when it is unhealthy - we are drawn to it as it is sometimes the only pattern we know that represents love.

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

Yes I like smart and somewhat dominant women too. For me they also need to know when to give up control and be submissive. Then it becomes a fun dance of polarity. Some women are very uncalibrated and it turns me off pretty instantly.

I like women that can banter and speak well, I'm definitely a sapiosexual. 

Totally.  Dominant women are fun to a point. But you need to be able to take back control.  If they rule the relationship I can tell you it will be a rough road.

 

[aurum]

There will be moments that functionally act like a test. Sometimes they might be conscious / intentional, sometimes not.

Either way, you should see it all as contributing to the interaction and the process of you two forming something together.

And obviously not all playful banter should be interpreted as some kind of devious test. Becoming too combative or paranoid is very bad. Just have fun with it.

[Olaf]

@Ulax tiktok live? How?

[Hasson_Miah]

@LordFall 

 

Any response to this? https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/115917-you-are-fcked-without-social-skills/?do=findComment&comment=1815062

 

[Olaf]

@aurum the hardest test I heard was from my wingmen he approached a girl and she said she was into cosplay or some bullshit, so he said something like oh those outfits look cool or something, then she was like "it sounds like you are a pedophile to find these younger outfits cute" I don't remember it exactly, but something allong those lines  but that was a wild one  

[Ulax]

Just now, Olaf said:

@Ulax tiktok live? How?

A good way to provoke a shit test is to be really arrogant. So, I would go on girl's tiktok lives and comment really arrogant things like "What are you doing on my app?" in their comments, and then they'd give me a shit test like "Who do you think you are?", and I would try and pass it.

Added bonus is there are like 10 amogs at a time . So, they all attack you when you act arrogant too, so you can practice doing shit-test passing comebacks for them too.

[Olaf]

@Ulax HAHAHAHAHA

[LordFall]

6 minutes ago, Hasson_Miah said:

@LordFall 

 

Any response to this? https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/115917-you-are-fcked-without-social-skills/?do=findComment&comment=1815062

 

Sure yes apologies I didn't get a notification for your question on that thread.

I don't think the idea is to be guarded as you enter a relationship. More about making self-development part of your identity so that you naturally self-improve. Some people tend to only use self-improvement to secure a baseline of safety and then let themselves go once they get into a relationship.

I think that's why the idea of life purpose is so powerful. If you are in a lane of society that you hate then yeah it makes sense to see clocking in or working out or building a social network as a draining obligation and once you find someone that accepts you for who you are type of idea then you've arrived and there's no need to try anymore.

If you genuinely fall in love with what you're doing in life I think you can keep reaching greater and greater heights. In the case of a relationship it'll either make it more fulfilling as you both embark on a shared life purpose together as a mission that underpins your marriage. Some people don't really like each other nor have common goals and just use their relationship as a childrearing arrangement. 

If you build your life this way and you do get into a divorce or a breakup, you'll be back on the dating market stronger than ever instead of being completely out of your depth and a shell of your former self. 

Edited 42 minutes ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

13 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Attraction is so weird though! What I am attracted to has changed. 

People SAY they are attracted and want one thing, but then fall for something totally different. Same sorta shit with buying and purchases. 

I think a lot of attraction comes down to familiarity with our first attachment patterns and learned love signalling when children. Even when it is unhealthy - we are drawn to it as it is sometimes the only pattern we know that represents love.

The way I have always understood women is that at first they see the physical.  But once they get to know you they become absolutely blind to that. And fall in love with who you are.

The movie Shallow Hal again. While men never move completely past the physical being a component. It's an amazing trait of a woman, by the way.  But men think with their penis.

Edited 42 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Inliytened1 there are variations within the sexes - although I think you speak in generalities.

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Inliytened1 there are variations within the sexes - although I think you speak in generalities.

Purely feminine vs masculine that is what I have witnessed. And it's the truth.  Woman are far more evolved.  We as men can throw it all away with one bad decision while women don't have the parts to make that decision.  

Yes it is a generalization..but true for the most part.

Edited 33 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[Olaf]

@Ulax I just tried it out, instructions unclear, girl is crashing out 

[Ulax]

Just now, Olaf said:

@Ulax I just tried it out, instructions unclear, girl is crashing out 

Welcome to the circus that is tiktok live 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

There are easy shit tests to spot and hard ones to spot.

Easy ones are where the negative is implied ("That's an interesting shirt choice") and harder ones are where the negative is explicit "That is a bad shirt choice". 

See I would interpret both of these as playful teasing or a direct insult entirely depending on her energy, and act based on that.

If it’s playful teasing I’ll roll with the punches, if it’s a direct insult then I would just laugh and walk away.

The concept of a shit test is meaningless precisely because if it is a real concept and a girl uses one, I don’t want to continue the conversation anyway. My time is better spent elsewhere with girls like 95% of girls I’ve hooked up with or dated in my life, who didn’t do this.

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, something_else said:

See I would interpret both of these as playful teasing or a direct insult entirely depending on her energy, and act based on that.

If it’s playful teasing I’ll roll with the punches, if it’s a direct insult then I would just laugh and walk away.

The concept of a shit test is meaningless precisely because if it is a real concept and a girl uses one, I don’t want to continue the conversation anyway. My time is better spent elsewhere with girls like 95% of girls I’ve hooked up with or dated in my life, who didn’t do this.

Exactly.  Most likely you're going to find a crazy one.  And i have dealt with lots of those because I lacked the foresight.  It is not subconscious.  They know what they are doing and I say avoid them. It's not worth it.  However..they're also pretty exciting.  The key is finding an exciting one that doesn't wanna break you. 😀

Edited 22 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[Ulax]

4 minutes ago, something_else said:

See I would interpret both of these as playful teasing or a direct insult entirely depending on her energy, and act based on that.

If it’s playful teasing I’ll roll with the punches, if it’s a direct insult then I would just laugh and walk away.

The concept of a shit test is meaningless precisely because if it is a real concept and a girl uses one, I don’t want to continue the conversation anyway. My time is better spent elsewhere with girls like 95% of girls I’ve hooked up with or dated in my life, who didn’t do this.

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