Authenticity (psychology): Underrated, Overrated?

[Rafael Thundercat]

i would add Shame as a blockage to Authenticity. How many time I stop myself from acting from my values because I feel ahshamed for some reason. Again there is always the component of "Other" or the "Other who sees me" and I restrain myself from being myself from shame of what other will think, act of feel about it.

Some points on Shame:

Shame is a profound disruption of human being, fundamentally altering how a person experiences existence, time, and reality itself. While psychology treats shame as an emotion, philosophy and metaphysics view it as an existential crisis—a sudden, painful exposure of the self's vulnerability before the universe.Here is a breakdown of the metaphysical dimensions of shame:1. The Fragmentation of Being (Ontology)In a normal state, your conscious mind and your physical body exist in harmony. Shame violently shatters this unity.The Self as Object: Shame forces you to instantly see yourself from the outside. You cease to merely be; you become an object of judgment.The Desire for Non-Being: The immediate metaphysical reaction to intense shame is the urge to disappear, shrink, or cease to exist ("I wanted the earth to swallow me up"). It is a temporary flight toward non-existence.2. The Trap of the Present (Temporal Distortion)Shame fundamentally alters how you experience time.The Frozen Present: While anxiety looks to the future and grief looks to the past, shame traps you in an agonizing, eternal now.Immobility: The moment of exposure feels inescapable, paralyzing your ability to move forward or imagine a future free from the stain of the shameful event.3. The Power of "The Other" (Intersubjectivity)The French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre famously analyzed shame through the concept of "The Look" (le regard).Loss of Universal Mastery: Before being seen, you are the center of your own universe. When someone looks at you with judgment or pity, their consciousness re-centers the universe around them.Alienation: You realize you cannot control how you exist in the mind of another person. Your identity is suddenly held hostage by an outside observer.4. Cosmic Disconnection (Alienation from the Whole)At its deepest level, shame carries an existential weight of unworthiness.The Broken Threat: It whispers the metaphysical lie that you are fundamentally flawed, broken, or a mistake.Exile from Belonging: Guilt says, "I did something bad" (a mistake of action), but shame says, "I am bad" (a mistake of being). This creates a sense of cosmic exile, convincing you that you do not rightfully belong to the fabric of reality or the human community.

 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wmi9o7PQB8ikytGk8LVvO?si=gVe3puHSQYuN_NZSjjrw6w&utm_source=copy-link

 

Edited yesterday at 03:55 PM by Rafael Thundercat

[Olaf]

@Olaf I forgot to be more authentic when approaching today, shit hehe. I got too much in the zone. 

[Lyubov]

Authenticity is when you are living aligned with truth, that’s at least my view on it. Not living aligned with familiar limiting beliefs, running around the maze of confusion. 

[Eskilon]

On 05/09/2026 at 11:43 PM, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I think it is a larger and more complex idea than initial inspection might reveal.

@Natasha Tori Maru Reading the thread now more carefully I thank you for your thoughts and others . It is a topic I didn't contemplate much and now I can see the value in approaching authencity in this domain specific way. It's more nuanced and can deepen our understanding of it for sure. 

I think then, if we approach this way we can say that we have metaphysical authencity or absolute authenticity and relative or domain specific authenticity. Both are useful but have different implications and times of use

Edited 7 hours ago by Eskilon

[Jordan of the Shire]

@Natasha Tori Maru

This is a great prompt for investigation in daily life! And I'll speak to it a little here now.

I love how authenticity is explored as a gradient, given nuance to suggest that there are different authenticity frames - such as a metaphysical, social and relational. 

I also like the idea of exploring what authenticity really is. I've never liked the term because of how vague it is.

What it means to be authentic. I love the definition you propose. A level of self awareness to know your values and core beliefs and acting in congruence with that, despite pulling and pushing forces outside of you ... or as you had experienced a level of dissonance yourself ,  forces within you.  

I think this is a great definition.

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I'll share a recent development. 

I have recently allowed myself to function with a mask in social situations that are new. This has helped in cordial communication. It's been a burden off my shoulders because I can let my eyes contract, I can put a smile on, and I can "court" (Robert Greene court). 

This isn't my ideal posture , but it helps in not letting initial drives get in the way. Such as judgements, attraction, aversion, etc. This sets a reference point or baseline for how authenticity can develop over time without being a sacrifice to ones authenticity. 

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I think authenticity will become more as your build a friendship or relationship. More experiences for the inner self to come out. 

The quote i've heard is, "someone can hide who they are for the first 6 months". 

When it comes to showing up with people - I try to embody energetically what it is I want to convey ... it isn't fully about verbal communication for me , though it helps. The qualities of metta, mudita, humor, and authenticity do play a role. For instance , in recently reviewing a video done by Leo on the Law of Transference. I can lead the emotional / energetic state of things , which means I can be more authentic about what I feel because it actually has a benefit impact, if I want to woo a woman, or discern the role I am to play in a given situation. The inward experience doesn't need to be hidden. I can express it. 

So there are some hang ups when it comes to being authentic. Such as being authentic skillfully to get what you want, or being authentic despite what other people want. 

My intellectual elaboration here is exhausted haha.

 

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I also like this prompt because it assumes the person has authenticity to be discovered, which can make people more interesting. 

What is the authenti-city of this person 

Edited 3 hours ago by Jordan of the Shire