Talking on a Date with normie girls about spiritual topics. Experience?

[Cubbage]

This is where being pop-culture savvy has real life benefits. Learning the art of gossiping and chatting shit (in the least unconscious way possible) is essential imo for dating. You can get to the deeper stuff later on, if they're even open to that. If you can't sense any open-mindedness in a potential partner, I wouldn't even bother taking things further anyways, unless you're just looking for a hookup 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Honestly if I encountered you on a date, and you started with some more esoteric spiritual stuff - I'd catch that hook.

If you moved into hardcore spirituality I would dive in headfirst with you to see how far along on the path we both were.

I think if you encountered a women into true spirituality it wouldn't be a turnoff.

But if we are speaking about, theoretically, a woman who only had a surface, feeling/body based spirituality... a conversation like that, like with small talk, is about exchanging pennies initially. You don't know if you want to invest full dollars - yet. So you just chuck some pennies back and forth prior to investing harder. Starting with feel good spirituality would be the pennies. Then if she gives some pennies back, you might put a dollar on the table. Maybe some philosophy...?

Same with small talk. People dislike it - but there is a purpose to it most miss.

It's about figuring out the other person, slowly. Then investing.

Unfortunately these days people try to rush into things.

Personally - I don't hesitate to throw out spirituality early. If the dude isn't into it, it is a quick filter for someone that might not be for me.

[LifeEnjoyer]

25 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Honestly if I encountered you on a date, and you started with some more esoteric spiritual stuff - I'd catch that hook.

If you moved into hardcore spirituality I would dive in headfirst with you to see how far along on the path we both were.

I think if you encountered a women into true spirituality it wouldn't be a turnoff.

But if we are speaking about, theoretically, a woman who only had a surface, feeling/body based spirituality... a conversation like that, like with small talk, is about exchanging pennies initially. You don't know if you want to invest full dollars - yet. So you just chuck some pennies back and forth prior to investing harder. Starting with feel good spirituality would be the pennies. Then if she gives some pennies back, you might put a dollar on the table. Maybe some philosophy...?

Same with small talk. People dislike it - but there is a purpose to it most miss.

It's about figuring out the other person, slowly. Then investing.

Unfortunately these days people try to rush into things.

Personally - I don't hesitate to throw out spirituality early. If the dude isn't into it, it is a quick filter for someone that might not be for me.

Thank you for this perspective cause I had a discussion with a girl at a festival this summer and she was into surface level, feeling/body based spirituality but I hadn't made that distinction yet in my mind so I dove in head first and she never text back! I was confused AF but I probably scared her off now that I look back on it (said my life's motto is that everything is my own mind, even when I'm interacting with others)

[Sugarcoat]

2 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Sugarcoat I mean I dont pursue that. if I feel dominant its ok. But I dont NEED to feel dominant.

Maybe you don’t need it, but maybe you want it? (I’m the teacher now)

[Ulax]

I can parrot some theory to you regarding this. But i only have one date where I've tried this so far. Went well though. But was just being more 'I love' 'i hate' when talking about my hobbies.

Essentially, this is a third-party topic. (Isn't connected to you or the girl), and that isn't great.

But you can connect it to you by talking about your emotions in relation to it. 

Firstly, can engage her by making strong emotional statements that use with words like 'love' 'hate'. For example, "I love thinking about how the world really works", or "I hate the idea of living my life without satisfying my curiosity about how the world works". (This i reckon could definitely be an upgrade for you, where you both get a better experience). 

Secondly, you can convey your views on the topic through a story. The basics of a good story are situation, interruption, change, and you want to include the character's inner experiences.

- For example, When i was a kid I was always fascinated by how reality worked. I loved watching films with my dad about sci films where people would be teleporting or time travelling, and i would always ask why that happened. As I  grew up those films didn't scratch that same itch anymore. And I found my interests moved more towards philosophy. I hated the idea of not knowing how the reality around me functioned, and my curiosity about what reality is and the nature of why we are here, were on my mind all the time. And still now, philosophy is a real love of mine.

 

Edited 6 hours ago by Ulax

[Phil King]

They dont want the hard shit like deeply questioning reality and every assumption you have, even that of your own parents. They want the new age stuff like astrology, tarot, chakras, psychedelics, auraus, all that BS. They literally call it chick crack

Edited 4 hours ago by Phil King

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 minutes ago, Phil King said:

They dont want the hard shit like deeply questioning reality and every assumption you have, even that of your own parents. 

Not discounting that this can be quite polarising - but I wouldn't consider this totally off the cards (initially I would consider it too much, but there are prompts one can make that might reveal if a woman is open to this).

Because, speaking for myself, this: 

6 minutes ago, Phil King said:

 stuff like astrology, tarot, chakras, psychedelics, auraus, all that BS. They literally call it chick crack

Was my introduction to the topic of spirituality. And I think for many women it is the same. Spirituality-lite

Perhaps for men, the introduction to spirituality might be philosophy.

Different introductory paths that appeal to gender polarities?

[enchanted]

3 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

I laughed

Same 

[ZenSwift]

Remember this, NOBODY wants the truth. It takes a very serious individual to actually genuinely want truth.

Keep the Spirituality talk light-hearted and Sexy sounding. Weave some wise words in there, and keep it at that.

Only the serious want the uncomfortable Truth.

Be very clear about your intention, do you want to guide someone to truth, or do you want sex? A genuine conversation about truth is not going to get a woman wet at all.

You can talk like spiritually flavored survival stuff and weave in wise teachings here and there, but ultimately it's just games of Survival. 

Truth and Sex(survival) are pretty much opposite ends of the spectrum. Most people just want to feel good and want to distract themselves. They don't actually have a holy curiosity and respect for truth.

When telling someone some truth, less is more. Use your intuition to gauge what they're genuinely able to hear and understand within their paradigm. More often than not, they don't give a shit about truth. 

What has been of interest recently for me is how to gauge what someone is ready for and not ready for when it comes to the depth of Truth. You have to gauge open-mindedness, their stage of development, their capacity to hold emotionally difficult things in their mind, their capacity to SIT WITH NOT KNOWING, the amount of prerequisite knowledge and study they have. The amount that they actually sit and contemplate something. Most people spend more time contemplating what they want for their Christmas list or their birthday. 

People will tell you "oh I'm so curious, I want to hear about it, I can handle anything." No they fucking can't, they are fooling themselves. "No trust me I'm really open minded." Fat chance their mind is open enough to ponder about if there are no other people.

If you really want to understand some of the depth that Leo points to, you have to work for hundreds of hours just to scratch the surface. A mind needs to be educated, trained, and deconstructed to handle certain truths. 

Majority of people that consider themselves to be spiritual are FOOLING themselves. Spirituality is FUCKING BRUTAL. 

Edited 2 hours ago by ZenSwift

[EdgeGod900]

You gotta talk about the fun experience that you had exploring these topics. 

Example:

Me: Have you heard of temporary reincarnation?

Her: No

Me: Its when you temporarily become another being. There was one time when I reincarnated as James Charles' anal bead. *this can then segway into many things*

You gotta exaggreate it a bit, but you get the point.

 

[PenguinPablo]

@Cubbage @Leo Gura Interesting how likely the two most experienced psychonauts gave a similar answer.

[AION]

You are making things much more difficult if you try to make your date your spiritual buddy or business partner or what ever. It adds unnecessary weight to the relationship. Her purpose is different. Your brain is infested with wrong programming. It will take years to untangle it if you will try this at your own with your development. 

Edited 41 minutes ago by AION