Are You Aligned In Life?

[Terell Kirby]

7 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

And so, this saddens me quite deeply. Being alone is very hard as a natural extrovert.

Any extroverts here that struggles with this?

I had to reframe my extroversion as something that makes me unique. It’s not endless nonsensical chatter that excites me the most- it’s the ability as a natural extrovert to express myself most powerfully through words and exchange with other minds.

I choose socialization as my primary medium for this- but doesn’t always have to be the case. Just so happens that socializing is often hijacked for nefarious and unconscious purposes- but there is such a thing as a rich exchange of emotional expression through verbalizing. 

[Miguel1]

17 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

I had to reframe my extroversion as something that makes me unique. It’s not endless nonsensical chatter that excites me the most- it’s the ability as a natural extrovert to express myself most powerfully through words and exchange with other minds.

I choose socialization as my primary medium for this- but doesn’t always have to be the case. Just so happens that socializing is often hijacked for nefarious and unconscious purposes- but there is such a thing as a rich exchange of emotional expression through verbalizing. 

That is beautifully reframed, thank you.

I will contemplate it.

[Hojo]

I have never made a plan about my life so I don't know and never know.

[CARDOZZO]

1. Be complete for yourself. 
2. Read (Mode One - Alan Roger Currie)
3. You have a choice. If you really do not want to play games, you just stop it. At this point on your journey, focus on being complete for yourself, being happy for no reason and playing life as a game, maximizing passions, interests and focus. 

Edited 7 hours ago by CARDOZZO

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Which areas of your life do you currently feel the greatest mismatch between your feelings of 'how you desire to be' and your actions?

[Jirh]

@Miguel1

I don't think you're an extrovert.

A natural extrovert genuinely likes being social without rules or expectations. It is actually a refreshing and recharging experience for him/her.

A natural extrovert is not out there playing games to manipulate or get something. He is just being himself. Enjoying being social because that in itself is rewarding for him.

[Miguel1]

30 minutes ago, Jirh said:

@Miguel1

I don't think you're an extrovert.

A natural extrovert genuinely likes being social without rules or expectations. It is actually a refreshing and recharging experience for him/her.

A natural extrovert is not out there playing games to manipulate or get something. He is just being himself. Enjoying being social because that in itself is rewarding for him.

I am an ENFJ. We have a deeper side to us, more reflective that comes online more with maturity. This side functions like an introvert.

As for social games and manipulations, I’m talking something meta here. Human games are not truthful, no matter how extroverted you are. Literally every other blogpost Leo talks about this directly or indirectly.

[Jirh]

@Miguel1 

Pardon my bluntness, but clearly you are choosing to play those games at the cost of your authenticity, therefore creating a heavy facade that's tiring and draining you, even though no one is forcing you.

I would examine the small choices made every day in social situations. There is virtually no real excuse for engaging in games and lies and manipulation unless physical safety is on the line. And even then, I would say, in many cases, you can figure out smart ways to stay true to yourself without endangering your physical body. For example, if religious persecution is a threat, you can choose to make an absolute boundary that you do not discuss these private matters.

But I doubt physical safety is the motivation here. You probably want social benefits like validation, belonging, sex, etc... and the price has become too high for you. Not because the price is real, but because you are making payments in cheap currencies like games, lies, and manipulation instead of the truth.

The real question isn't "Why are people so fake?". It's "Why do I keep showing up to a game I hate, hoping to win a prize I don't respect?"

You are absolutely free to stop engaging in whatever is causing you pain. I'm not saying you have to, but it's worth contemplating why you haven't yet.

Edited 47 minutes ago by Jirh

[Miguel1]

@Jirh Thanks for your input.

But I don’t think you actually read what I have been sharing.

It’s been very clear in my opinion:

I have deep social and intimacy needs as an exteovert, but I find the social games required for it to be ingenuine and fake.

This is the dilemma I am struggling with.

It is almost like you are forced to work for Coca Cola for survival, but their values are completely against yours.

[Jirh]

33 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

I have deep social and intimacy needs as an exteovert, but I find the social games required for it to be ingenuine and fake.

You said the max you've tried is 75-85% authenticity.

I am suggesting that you try 100%, even if it costs you in the beginning, because it's more rewarding in the long run.

Quote

It is almost like you are forced to work for Coca Cola for survival, but their values are completely against yours.

I am suggesting questioning this.

You aren't really forced to work in a big company for survival. There are plenty of ethical jobs that satisfy most basic survival needs. But you are asking for more and paying the price and refusing to see that you are doing so.

You aren't misaligned in life. You're choosing to misalign yourself and refusing to take responsibility for your choices.

Edited 10 minutes ago by Jirh

[Miguel1]

@Jirh I stand my ground.

Your view of the world, survival, and human relationships is quite lacking in my opinion.

Of course I have tried to do 100% authenticity plenty of times, that’s why I know it doesn’t work.

As long as you are a wage slave, it is VERY hard to have a truly 100% ethical job.

Studying the work here on Actualized.org should make this quite obvious.

[Jirh]

@Miguel1 Well, then I have nothing more to offer. Hope you find a solution to this dilemma. Good luck.