Opinions on ADHD medication

[something_else]

I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD. When I look back on my life, especially childhood and early adulthood, it really should have been much more obvious. However it never really occurred to me that a lot of my troubles could be caused by ADHD until the last year or two. I thought a lot of the stuff I struggled with was just 'normal' and that everybody was like that.

Anyway, I've been prescribed Elvanse (Vyvanse for people in the US) and it will be arriving shortly.

I have tried Ritalin and Vyvanse a couple of times before (just as a one off) and based on that I feel like consistently taking these meds has the potential to be life changing. It was truly insane to experience what it is like to have a mind that just does what you want it to do instead of fucking around all of the time and self-sabotaging you at every turn.

I also notice that they significantly improved my social anxiety and made me realise that most of my social anxiety came not from shame, but from a lack of ability to trust my mind to pay attention and behave during conversations.

I'm curious if anybody here both has ADHD, and has experience with ADHD meds and the effects they had?

Thanks

[Valach]

Yea, never took any meds though considered it. But as you said I believe these issues are psychological and not really genetical. I believe it is a nervous system that does not feel safe and create a defensive mechanism of tuning out - and the unsafe feeling, hypervigilance translates directly into having social anxiety.

You do not feel safe, thus you feel like you need to lean onto validation of others to soothe this wound of yourself and this creates a scenario where your survival directly depends on the validation of others - which causes fear because if you are rejected, you percieve that as threat and thus this creates social anxiety. That is my theory at the very least.

I wish you that the meds will work out for you! For the time being I am trying to heal this is more "non-medicative" way but perhaps in time I might try to experiment with medication as well.

I also struggled with a strong social anxiety - and to a degree I still struggle. And I also have very clear symptoms of ADHD.

it maps really well onto attachment theory. But I might be too geeky about that shit - it's like the biggest theme in my life right now

Edited 4 hours ago by Valach

[something_else]

2 minutes ago, Valach said:

You do not feel safe, thus you feel like you need to lean onto validation of others to soothe this wound of yourself and this creates a scenario where your survival directly depends on the validation of others - which causes fear because if you are rejected, you percieve that as threat and thus this creates social anxiety. That is my theory at the very least.

For me I think it is the other way around, I think the ADHD causes social anxiety.

I did not have social anxiety as a child, in fact the opposite, but I did have quite noticeable ADHD symptoms. Looking back, the ADHD behaviour from my childhood is likely what caused me to get bullied so badly which is what ultimately caused the more traditional rejection-fearing social anxiety that I struggled with for many years.

I'm now over that rejection-fearing social anxiety and just left with what feels like the social anxiety caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. I know I'm socially capable and I don't really feel any more scared of rejection than a normal person, but it feels like when I'm having a conversation my brain is just not locked in most of the time, it just will not produce words to reply to the person I'm talking to. This causes me to run on stress instead of the relaxed playfulness and presence that creates fun conversations.

Trying out medication completely reversed this. It felt like I actually had space to breath and relax in conversations instead of being fuelled by stress all of the time. It also felt like my brain started naturally producing replies to other people without me needing to use stress as a motivator to get my mind to produce words.

Quote

I wish you that the meds will work out for you! For the time being I am trying to heal this is more "non-medicative" way but perhaps in time I might try to experiment with medication as well.

Have you ever tried it at all? Even just as a once off?

[Valach]

19 minutes ago, something_else said:

Have you ever tried it at all? Even just as a once off?

No, never been diagnosed officially. But it is obvious to the point of my friends or exes telling me I have clear symptoms of ADHD.

19 minutes ago, something_else said:

For me I think it is the other way around, I think the ADHD causes social anxiety.

I did not have social anxiety as a child, in fact the opposite, but I did have quite noticeable ADHD symptoms. Looking back, the ADHD behaviour from my childhood is likely what caused me to get bullied so badly which is what ultimately caused the more traditional rejection-fearing social anxiety that I struggled with for many years.

I'm now over that rejection-fearing social anxiety and just left with what feels like the social anxiety caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. I know I'm socially capable and I don't really feel any more scared of rejection than a normal person, but it feels like when I'm having a conversation my brain is just not locked in most of the time, it just will not produce words to reply to the person I'm talking to. This causes me to run on stress instead of the relaxed playfulness and presence that creates fun conversations.

Trying out medication completely reversed this. It felt like I actually had space to breath and relax in conversations instead of being fuelled by stress all of the time. It also felt like my brain started naturally producing replies to other people without me needing to use stress as a motivator to get my mind to produce words.

I really believe (and that is my understanding of some authors like Gabor Mate) that AHD is simply a fear response. I think I am in a similiar place as you are. Always had symptomps of ADHD (since starting school), then developed social anxiety during my teen years - I also though that it was the bullying (though mine was quite mild luckily) and lack of socializing. But I do not believe that anymore.

What was happening is that I did not get my needs fulfilled as a little child. Not that I was abused or something like that but my parent's simply had their own shit to deal with. This created a insecure, fearful nervous system that learned to tuned itself off and I was seeking this safety through external things. Like gaming (more of an avoidant strategy) or leaning on validation of others - which partially caused social anxiety.

I always believed that this is something to be "fixed" externally which was fueled by my journey in the pickup. And yes, it did help my social anxiety to a certain point where I know how to talk to people and how to appear charismatic. But I am rarely relaxed. And it is not because of lack of exposure but because of this trauma living in my nervous system and I carry it everywhere with me. I am not socially anxious - I am anxious, I am fearful all the time. The social situations just highlight this issue because on some level my system believes that there is a resolution on hand. That if I get the validation of this person or woman if it is a date, I feel relax and feel safe - for a moment at least. Alcohol used to work amazingly well (never was an alcoholic) but having like 2 drinks would relax me so much and help me connect with other way more. Nothing can tell, everytime I open up to people about this, they are surprised because I appear very confident socially and have success with opposite gender. But this feeling of unsafety was also sabotaging my relationships and I can see that clearly now - I was terrified of connecting to woman.

Funny enough I recently started talking to my sister about all this stuff - and she has the same fucking thing as i am. Quite the clear pattern. And to be honest, the more self awareness I get, the more I feel my body and the more my emotional intelligence increase - the more I see this stuff in other people. And at this point - I believe that at least 90% of population (depending on location) is carrying around heavy trauma which impacts their lives in many ways and most are unaware of that and just trying to avoid feeling any of the inner pain. We live in a profoundly unhealthy world.

As you said, you were not socially anxious as a baby. Noone is born socially anxious. It is not about lack of social skills or social exposure. It is a learnt behaviour where you are affraid that something is gonna happen or something is not gonna happen that you crave. And it all goes back to some big wound from childhood.

Definitely would not recommend medicating with alcohol. But I found that simply being really social is not some sort of final solution either (as it is often presented in pickup/self-help communities). I am not experienced on ADHD medication as I said. Might try it. But I am bit affraid that I would be managing the symptoms instead of the wound - but hey, getting rid of the symptoms might unlock me in my life to the point of me being able to focus on the actual wound. Who knows.

Edited 3 hours ago by Valach

[Valach]

Also I would point out one thing - you can be affraid of rejection and thus anxious, while consciously not being aware of that. That was happening to me for a long time as well - I would be talking to people/girl that I am not even invested in, yet I would be anxious anyways. Consciously, in my mind I was like "I do not really care about validation of this person and if they reject me or not", but my body was clearly saying something else.

Edited 3 hours ago by Valach

[sholomar]

Various disorders can be misdiagnosed... some with generalized anxiety might have ADHD also, or actually be ADHD and not anxious.  Then there is bipolar and borderline tendencies which can require strong meds and therapy to manage the reason behind the anger or the improper mindset which is the hardest nut to crack. Regardless, there are non stimulant medications for ADHD, the best is probably Guanfacine.  It also lowers blood pressure and has a decent half life so one pill per day. 

For an overstimulated nervous system or anxiety the better non habit forming medications are lexapro and seroquel, neither is classified as a "controlled substance" in the United States so I sometimes order them overseas when I can't get a doctor to prescribe. Lexapro is more subtle and takes time to work, but helps keep emotional strength and reactivity blunted to a degree.  Seroquel is more fast acting. 12.5 MG of seroquel is great for sleep or blunting emotions, the zombie feeling is kind of nice even at low dosages though it lasts about 18 hours with a longer half life... the mistake doctors make is prescribing dosages that would knock most people out.... can't imagine taking 50-200 mg at once. 

There's also Trazodone to help with sleep, 50 mg works pretty well at bedtime, though if one's nervous system is overstimulated enough none of these will help.  THC also helps, mostly edibles.  

Outside of these are actual blood pressure meds that are also not classified as controlled substances, like Propranolol which block the affect of adrenaline on the body for a time. 

Of this list, I've exclusively ordered from alldaychemist.com ... I only order stuff that is not classified as a controlled substance (in the USA) but still requires a prescription.

https://forums.phoenixrising.me/threads/list-of-reliable-prescription-free-online-pharmacies.8113/

Working on totally eliminating the need for meds to support bad habits and work on calming the nervous system, with techniques like open focus. My thoughts are sound, perspective and mindset are good, but habits are still questionable... screen and media consumption addiction, and gaming, all keep the nervous system stimulated and waste time.  Shift rotating and night shifts don't help either. 

Edited 1 hour ago by sholomar