Have you guys had brief truama from awakening?g?

[JoshB]

When I realized there was nothing outside of conciousness / no outside world that was insanity. Because i also in that moment realized there were no others mind. 

It literally felt like I had lost any and all sanity. It felt absolutely traumatizing. 

I then went on to have insane peaks because of being able to deconstruct materialism. 

I was just curious if anyone else had traumatic experience from awakening and what it was and how you handle and intergrated it. 

[Oppositionless]

Yes deconstructing the doer lead to a bad addiction .

[JoshB]

8 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

Yes deconstructing the doer lead to a bad addiction .

Bad addiction? 

[Yimpa]

7 hours ago, JoshB said:

how you handle and intergrated it

[bazera]

9 hours ago, Oppositionless said:

Yes deconstructing the doer lead to a bad addiction .

What kind of an addiction? How did that happen?

[caspex]

It gave me a glimpse of insanity and was enough to scare me off for a while. 

I felt insane when I was in that state. It's like a need to cry but there is no one who can. It's like needing to scream but there is no one who can. Very disturbing. 

However I did get past that eventually and realized the beauty in it. I can't embody it completely yet but whenever I do it's like taking a drug which makes you extroverted and productive. Productive because everything is fun to do. Life feels like frolicking around in heaven. 

I had that embodied for the two days, knowing we are all one and I have nothing to fear. Yesterday morning I woke up as my self again. Hard to embody it but I have gotten good. 

Edited yesterday at 07:33 AM by caspex

[Breakingthewall]

20 hours ago, JoshB said:

When I realized there was nothing outside of conciousness / no outside world that was insanity. Because i also in that moment realized there were no others mind. 

How's possible having that realization? It's a structural paradigm that belongs to the conceptual mind, then seems difficult to admit that a subjetive realization means that the reality is in that way.

[Oppositionless]

23 hours ago, JoshB said:

Bad addiction? 

 

14 hours ago, bazera said:

What kind of an addiction? How did that happen?

I got addicted to weed because it caused many awakenings. And I was watching my body not in control as it went for more because I was losing the doer, or at least, I thought I was losing the doer, before this I was highly disciplined. Now I'm pretty disciplined again, now that I have sober spiritual practice for 6 months haven't smoked in two months and access the bliss state without drugs.

Edited yesterday at 08:16 PM by Oppositionless

[Hojo]

I grieved me own life

[cetus]

19 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Got to love it when your comfort zone takes a hit. Adios Terra Firma. That's progress.

Edited 20 hours ago by cetus

[cetus]

Scary thoughts.......... Is it all a dream?

[JoshB]

8 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

How's possible having that realization? It's a structural paradigm that belongs to the conceptual mind, then seems difficult to admit that a subjetive realization means that the reality is in that way.

Leo said he had a traumatic experience when realized he imagined his mom

The initial realization is jarring but after integration and realizing it at a deeper level it becomes beautiful thing 

Edited 18 hours ago by JoshB

[cetus]

@JoshB Consider it growth spurts.

[Breakingthewall]

13 hours ago, JoshB said:

Leo said he had a traumatic experience when realized he imagined his mom

The initial realization is jarring but after integration and realizing it at a deeper level it becomes beautiful thing 

How could you realize that you are imagining reality? Like in some point high of drugs you say: I'm imagining reality? Then your feeling is that's this is the absolute truth? You would agree that this is a subjetive appreciation right? 

[Mellowmarsh]

19 hours ago, Hojo said:

I grieved me own life

I grieved too, but I was relieved from the grief when my perception shifted to if I can grieve my own life then I must be still here to grieve, so I can never die, so I must be immortal. The sliver of light that I thought was me, is just a temporal dream between two dark sleeps, that spontaneously wakes up to find itself in the middle of infinity. 

 

 

 

 

Edited 4 hours ago by Mellowmarsh

[Yimpa]

18 hours ago, cetus said:

 Is it all a dream?

dream = 1 hallucination out of Infinite Hallucinations

18 hours ago, cetus said:

Got to love it when your comfort zone takes a hit. Adios Terra Firma. That's progress.

For sure. Even just a few seconds of meeting Love in the eyes is enough to convince you that being an ego is not the be all end all.