Example of dark tetrad from Aba the Youtuber

[LordFall]

This is such a textbook example it would be a shame not to use it to spread awareness. As someone who's dated a cluster B(bpd) woman before, it catches you by surprise and fails to follow the rules of rationality so watch out if you're a highly rational man.

So Aba from AnaNPreach just had a big drama unfold in the past few months with a woman he got pregnant accidentally and then tried to break up with as she decided she didn't want to date him. What follows is a beautiful case of all 4 dark tetrad traits displayed beautifully. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/1t6kunw/woman_making_claims_against_aba_from_aba_and/

Thankfully for him he has recordings, text receipts and in the situation he didn't get volatile himself otherwise it could've gone much worse for him.

She proceeds to completely lie about a situation where she split him(going from full in love to someone to discarding them emotionally due to perceived abandonment or slight) and then after he decides he doesn't want to deal with this and tells her to leave and books her a uber and hotel to get out of the house, she proceeds to gaslight him by saying she's not safe outside and she has no service and has to walk outside for hours in the Montreal cold. Turns out after months she rephrases that she walked to 30 mins and booked herself a hotel. She then goes on interviews with Youtubers and tells people he screamed at her and verbally abused her when he has a recording of him talking very calmy and just being fed up with her and trying to get her to leave.

People high in machiavellianism are master manipulators and know how to make themselves seem like the victim in all situations. You can't usually catch them red handed so it's common for it to lead to gaslighting and mental health issues for the person being targeted since you start to believe them. 

She also clearly shows sadistic traits in trying to ruin his life as much as possible and going out of her way to threaten to expose him to his competing content creators and records videos with any other girl she can get to say something negative about him. 

Also seems like clear psychopathy in feeling no guilt in turning on him like this(for example my BPD ex didn't really do things like this she was mostly just BPD) and also a lack of long term thinking and massive pride at being slighted since publicizing this makes her look unhinged and undateable to future prospects with healthy boundaries. 

She has some traits of BPD like frantic irrational efforts to avoid abandonment as she booked and cancelled abortion appointments multiple times(I read somewhere up to 10) even though she didn't seem to want to date him.

It's very lucky for Aba that he's quite a grounded and rational person otherwise he could easily be in jail from an incident like this. It's a good reminder that emotional regulation is one of the top skills in life and most times with severely mentally ill people you just have to leave as soon as your boundaries are crossed and do not react to the attacks that follow.

Dark tetrad is very real and present in both men and women so watch a few videos on it to understand how it manifests and especially some on healthy boundary setting as that's one of the best ways to cut those types of people off early as there are always signs. 

It's likely that Aba has a few narcissistic traits to be attracted to someone like this, narcissistic men and BPD women are a classic combination. How it works in a nutshell is you're a bit numb emotionally so a volatile and hot woman(they usually also tend to be hotter than the women you usually get so you let your boundaries slip and/or love bomb you) and play up the damsel in distress traits and it triggers a savior complex as well as you view yourself as a smarter and more grounded man than most you think you can handle her and change her. Big mistake the BPD traits are basically a hard counter for this and it always unravels. Traits are not the same thing as a personality disorder and I believe a lot of the self-development work that's done here if done sincerely will heal those traits as they surface from a wounded and thus powerful and sneaky ego. I did for sure and I've been working since my own last relationship to work on them and heal the wounded parts of my psyche so it doesn't happen again as it's quite a traumatic experience. Also quite common for PUAs to end up with mentally ill and particularly BPD women as we have an unstable sense of self and so do they and one of the core laws of dating is you do not attract what you want, you attract what you are. 

Dark Tetrad people aren't usually born evil, there is a clear genetic component but it's trauma based and it turns the ego into survival machine that's willing to do whatever it takes to get its egoic needs met(which aren't always rational. As I said before, psychopaths lack long-term thinking skills and impulse control; because they don't feel fear or the weight of consequences like a regular person, they're actually terrible in business.) Machiavellians are really the ruthless CEO archetype.

 

Feel free to share if you've also had experiences with dark tetrad individuals as it's quite common and not talked about enough I believe. 

Edited 10 hours ago by LordFall

[Raze]

Only 5% of women have BPD yet every guy says half his exes had bpd

[Leo Gura]

37 minutes ago, Raze said:

Only 5% of women have BPD yet every guy says half his exes had bpd

Those 5% have slept with half the guys

[Wilhelm44]

53 minutes ago, Raze said:

Only 5% of women have BPD yet every guy says half his exes had bpd

Just like every women's ex was a full blown narcissist.

[Leo Gura]

When a woman is toxic she is gonna sleep around a lot. Same for men. That's why everyone says their ex was an abusive narc.

An abusive narc has 10x more sex than normies.

Edited 2 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura Observed this a lot when I was in college . The girls around me were going from a relationship to relationship. I'm glad I didn't choose that lifestyle and being single as well as suffering due to it in college redirected me to better things than a bunch of immature/toxic relationships.

Edited 1 hour ago by Rishabh R

[Jirh]

Oh, so now it's tetrad, not triad anymore. Lol okay.

What I know is that these people are poorly understood. Sure, there are rare hardcore cases, hopeless lost causes. But the rest exist on a spectrum. Any of us could be one of them sometimes.

Pop psychology makes it seem like anyone that shows one "evil" behaviour has a dark personality. But if you examine the stories thoroughly, the other person is often a participant in the drama, not just a victim of it, and when the drama becomes too much for them, they start pulling away or behaving aggressively, triggering the "dark" person's fears.

[Leo Gura]

12 minutes ago, Jirh said:

But if you examine the stories thoroughly, the other person is often a participant in the drama, not just a victim of it

That is very true. However, it does not negate the existence and severity of the dark tetrad or triad. Dating such a person would be hell, make no mistake about it.

Being dark tetrad is not just a matter of being on some spectrum. Dark tetrad is a perfect storm of toxicity and corruption. Hope you never meet such a person in your life. This would be like dating Trump.

Edited 1 hour ago by Leo Gura

[Jirh]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

That is very true. However, it does not negate the existence and severity of the dark tetrade or triade. Dating such a person would be hell, make no mistake about it.

I remember you talked about an ex of yours that would fake suicide threats to manipulate you. Yeah, I can see the extremity of such cases. But most people aren't like that. Most people are on a spectrum. They can behave selfishly sometimes, they can lose their temper, they can spread rumors, etc... That's all normal. We all go through these normal human experiences. Unless it becomes a consistent pattern. Then we are talking about psychopathy.

[Jirh]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This would be like dating Trump.

Always the first example that comes to your mind 

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Jirh said:

I remember you talked about an ex of yours that would fake suicide threats to manipulate you.

She wasn't even dark tetrad or close. She just has lots of trauma and abusive past.

She couldn't control her emotions but she was a sweet caring person underneath that.

Dark tetrad will fuck you up.

1 minute ago, Jirh said:

Always the first example that comes to your mind 

How can the rampaging elephant in the room be ignored?

[LordFall]

5 hours ago, Raze said:

Only 5% of women have BPD yet every guy says half his exes had bpd

BPD is a diagnosis that you fit. To qualify as such you need 5 of the 9 symptoms. So if a guy dates a woman with an intense fear of abandonment that flies into explosive rage every so often that's not qualifiable as a personality disorder but I mean you're gonna have a BPD sounding story. As well as if you combine bpd + bipolar the lifetime prevalence is more like 8%. Plus if you hang around self-development circles with guys that are the pickup kind and/or have dated a lot of women I wouldn't be surprised if it was statistically true that 30-40% of them have dated someone with BPD symptoms for a period of time.

56 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Oh, so now it's tetrad, not triad anymore. Lol okay.

What I know is that these people are poorly understood. Sure, there are rare hardcore cases, hopeless lost causes. But the rest exist on a spectrum. Any of us could be one of them sometimes.

Pop psychology makes it seem like anyone that shows one "evil" behaviour has a dark personality. But if you examine the stories thoroughly, the other person is often a participant in the drama, not just a victim of it, and when the drama becomes too much for them, they start pulling away or behaving aggressively, triggering the "dark" person's fears.

Yes you're correct that's why I mentionned they're not intrinsically evil people they have a wounded ego that deleted most of its empathy as survival response and basically creates chaos where it goes as a result. On the sadism part :

"Psychologists Erin Buckels, Daniel Jones, and Delroy Paulhus led the expansion of the framework into the Dark Tetrad by demonstrating that sadism exists as a sub-clinical, "everyday" trait in the general population. They proved that sadism captures a unique motivational drive—the intrinsic enjoyment of inflicting pain or humiliation—which the original three traits could not account for. Integrating this trait was essential to understanding malevolence because it isolated active cruelty for its own sake, rather than as mere collateral damage for personal gain." 

If you also are familiar with the David Hawkins scale of consciousness, most humans are pretty toxic in one way or another until they reach higher states of consciousness. Doesn't mean all of us have diagnosable personality disorders but it's still helpful to recognize the signs in others and reflect on how toxic traits manifest in ourselves. 

[Jirh]

53 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

She wasn't even dark tetrad or close. She just has lots of trauma and abusive past.

She couldn't control her emotions but she was a sweet caring person underneath that.

A dark personality could look exactly like you're describing. That's how they are effective in the first place. They project an image of perfect mirror of what they want you to think. And they get you from there.

How could you tell that she's different?

Or to be more specific, how do you distinguish between trauma and darkness? They're essentially the same -- a mix of selfishness with low consciousness.

Quote

Dark tetrad will fuck you up.

Damn! Now I'm feeling challenged. And I'm too confident of myself. I wanna try some 

Honestly, I think my awakening happened because I was fucked up by a dark tetrad. So it's all good in the end.

Edited 21 minutes ago by Jirh

[Basman]

Some guys have a preference for crazy. I consider them a health hazard.