How do you feel with the fact that all human love is conditional?

[OrangeOak]

There is no wrong answer in this particular instance of asking the question, I just wanted to hear what people think.

[aurum]

It's a difficult pill to swallow, but an important one.

You need proper expectations when dealing with humans.

It helps if you can realize what actually is Unconditional Love.

Edited 9 hours ago by aurum

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Do you consider a mothers love for her children to be conditional?

[Thought Art]

@OrangeOak Yes. It is for sure. I see it in myself. I really am a survival machine. 

[integration journey]

Depends on how you look at it. From the spirit plane, love becomes more unconditional 

[Jirh]

It's not love if it's conditional.

It's benefit, convenience, survival, pragmatism, business, or anything similar.

Love is free of expectations. It is its own sake.

However, unconditional love is an illusion.

There are always conditions for love to occur. At least a relationship of some kind. That doesn't make it any less love. It just highlights the limits of human emotions and experience.

But you can love yourself unconditionally. This is the only valid/possible form unconditional love. And it's not selfishness.

[Hojo]

Its not bad to be conditionally loving. 

Thats what God is for. You cannot be so dont try to be.

It is a sad realization, until you find God.

No one cares about you but God.

And God has to do it that way or it cant be anything.

Literally to be a thing it has to have conditions on its love.

 

If you were unconditionally loving then people would physically attack you when you leave them.

Its dangerous for you to be unconditional loving in this realm.

Until you see God you are actually angry at God.

Not seeing God makes you angry and scared.

They get upset and say God isnt even real!

 

Do not think you need to be unconditional loving here, just dont be hateful.

You can be angry and not mean. You just dont hate someone and let them take over your thoughts.

You can act angry all the time if you want to be. If you are that way. As long as you arent having negative emotion about acting angry you dont have to please people.

Edited 4 hours ago by Hojo

[Jirh]

3 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Do you consider a mothers love for her children to be conditional?

It's conditional in the sense that it requires the children to be small, weak, and needy.

But from the mother's pov, that thought doesn't occur. She doesn't demand or require anything. She just sees her children and showers them with love. She gives, they receive. Simple, direct, basic.

But once they grow up and become strong and independent, her love becomes more demanding. She doesn't see them in the same way anymore. They're physically and emotionally disconnected from her at this point. The relationship is likely loving but much more nuanced.

As well, if the child has special needs that require more effort to take care of (an illness for example), to the mother they become a liability at worse, or a duty at best. The relationship is not loving anymore.

[Hojo]

@Jirh I hear sadhguru say that its that way for the child but to the mother the mother is permanently attached to that child as its a part of her identity structure and biology. In order for the mother to stop she will have to deny or erase your entire existence. This happens via awakening.

However there are plenty of mothers who do not want or need their children. There even is labels for it for them wanting to kill their children.

It is conditional love I beleive as you cant throw your shit in her face and punch her everyday.

God will let you do it thats unconditional.

She cant unconditionally love you for her survival as well.

Me and my mother have had fights and stuff and I didnt talk to her for like 15 years and everytime I fucked up and needed help she helped me.

Edited 4 hours ago by Hojo

[Jirh]

@Hojo It's hard to have clarity about biology with humans, but it's clear in cats for example.

The cat mother loves and feeds and protects her children, until they can move. Then she abandons them and starts placing boundaries with them. They might even fight or kill one another.

[VeganAwake]

If it's conditional is it love?

[oOo]

My perosnal take.

Love cannot be divided.

Human propensity for love can be divided across capacity.

Unconditional love then, by that same authorship.

If one wishes to know unconditional love, then either they must be a recipient or a giver.

Philosophising from or on emotion when for the former condition, it is the blind bias of say the nihilists unrealised depression, and for the latter it is weakened by experienced immensity and or the collective memory of that emotion is fractured, is like looking through the keyhole of truth with your friends colourblind. 

If you want to know the condition upon which love exists in the authorship of another being, then let that author have the contours of their expression reveal the truth beneath the current of whatever truth they are trying to circulate.

However, if you are trying to teach love, do not preach it as if you know it in whole when you can neither divide it in its parts, nor build its whole from those same parts followed by building it back up and down across a range of contexts. 

The irony of many spiritual discussions i have viewed on the forum is that most talk about things as arising from survival, when they neither know anything or much about biology as compelled by said survival. Nor have enough division to separate themselves from conceptualisation enough that they see the life force of those concepts independent to the puzzle pieces that have thus far been created about them. Causing them to look at the puzzle of life they have created not through fresh eyes that extends their view the next mornings rise, but justify through lived experiences why the puzzle pieces they have unknowingly created about life must stay the same, rather than introspective from the edges of those puzzle pieces and fathom, just what unexplored territory awaits them.

From an emotional sense, unconditional love is indeed not only possible, but axiomatic to any proper condition for love and by that metric is a relationship of genuine meaning determined, or by its inverse, its fabrication. This is the same mathematical fabric that tethers the meaning between a human being and life itself, where their mirrored opposites overlap to explain their conditional to unconditional relationship to life. Moreover, in order to understand conditional vs unconditional love, remove the word love and understand these first as spectrums by relative circumstance, inclusive of disposition. Unconditional curiosity, joy, positivity, resilience, all of these are equivalent to then uncompromising states of human character in the same way that steel is to a certain velocity and viscosity. Unconditional love is no different, thus when we speak of the state of this condition, in order to view it accurately, you merely need to understand it as the resilience of a meaning system in maintaining that status, unconditionally, where unconditionally is unused relative to its character.

Most peoplles adherence to the truth and seeking the truth including the repair of their own mind in forming the truth, is totally and utterly in a state of conditional meanings born out of material attachments. This is the great irony of ever being able to understand something as deeply human as unconditional love if one has neither felt it or cannot provide it, the latter two conditions being equal to the summation of our growth, not our destiny, something which I can personally attest to.

It is not that love cannot be found in biological cells in the same way that its said that "god is in the neurons", it is that most talk between one another very arrogantly as if they understand the concepts they use deeply, from an analogous perspective, how god, neurons and all our biology works, missing entirely for example in this discussion the spectrum of love and the magnitude of that experience across from one human, culture, tribe, race and historical context to the next. Biology plays an absolutely pivotal role in love, both in self-healing and advancing human consciousness to higher frontiers of love, in no less ways then too, in understanding how we can bridge, however far some believe that adjacent to be, with unconditional love, made from a conditional ephemeral existence.

On a personal level, unconditional love is undoubtedly a choice, but one thst is a part of a choice matrix that shares governance with multi-cursor structures from the injuries one has experienced to their nervous system to the safety felt in their environment, and how these give birth to attachment styles that lucidly prebias lenses concerning to the untrained philosophical styles that attempt to encapsulate it with the mathematical rigour of a primary schooler that does suicide bomber classroom raids with their native languages alphabet.

Turn subjects like these into a deep discussioon, and you will turn minds to the only place that matters in understanding their deeper truth, in this case of unconditional love, as we each know it, from our own relative perspective.

Unconditional love has many unique phenomenological properties that cannot simply be pinned down by measuring the x and y axis of certain biological strata, while at the same time, particular strata do allow for some mammals not just humans, to experience love and act on love, in ways that appear more unconditionalmcompared to other mammals. The reasons for this, should be enough justification to widen the horizon line for the puzzle piece that contains everything thought on this subject and deepen the number of dimensions, by which one may believe they could however slightly more deeply experience it, in the next mornings rise.

[Soullee]

i think we love as much we can as humans, many factors goes into how deep one can love for him or her self and for others. so i just accepted as it is. i think the real work for me is when my intentions to love unconditionally and i catch my self slowly and unconsciously creating conditions to love and be loved. also i think a lot people don't deserve to be unconditionally loved. the notion of that make you weak to them and they feel the urge to take advantage of your loving heart. 

[Basman]

It's wishful thinking at worst to expect your relationships to not be partial as an adult. Children don't know any better and are blindsided when an adult doesn't love whatever thing they did. Conflict and conditions is just the reality of finite beings interacting with each other. Your better off dispelling any delusions so that you can act more constructively relative to your relationships.

[Mellowmarsh]

Conditional love is legalised torture and pain. Something humans have no problem accepting as a perfectly normal transactional relationship between themselves.