Please help

[Monster Energy]

Hey,

I’ve been stuck in something around sex and pleasure, and I’d really like to hear how others see this.

What I’ve noticed is that it’s not just desire. There’s often a strong feeling of compulsion and fear around it.

It goes something like this:

I feel a strong pull toward sex, pleasure, and intensity

But at the same time there’s this sense that I have to get the maximum out of it

If I don’t reach that peak level, it feels like I’m missing something important

It almost feels like it’s “life-or-death important” not to miss the best possible feeling

At the same time, I can understand mentally that pleasure is just an experience and nothing needs to be maximized, but in actual experience it still feels very real and charged.

What I’m trying to understand is:

Is this basically an addiction to intensity?

Or is the real issue the “must” feeling and fear around it?

How do you let go of the idea that peak pleasure is something you need to reach, without suppressing desire itself?

It doesn’t feel like I’m suffering from pleasure itself, but more from the feeling that I need a certain level of it for things to feel okay.

Would really appreciate any insights, especially from a more consciousness/self-inquiry perspective.

 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBOSqgPg8jc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3s3us4HnqI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hpjM_NNFQw

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_pleasure.pdf

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-S5xzA0AbE

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Raze

[No1Here2c]

Forget about it

You go long enough without it stops being such a worry

[Hayato]

It could be an adrenaline addiction. When having sex a lot of adrenaline is released which gives you the high and adrenaline is very addictive.

1 hour ago, Monster Energy said:

How do you let go of the idea that peak pleasure is something you need to reach, without suppressing desire itself?

By realizing that you don't need pleasure to be complete/happy maybe? After every peak there is a valley, metaphorically speaking.

[Lyubov]

I would look beyond your emotions and keep your line of thinking simple. Inner issues are really not that complex but I don’t say this to dismiss your own unique story and challenges you’ve faced. You are getting lost in the emotion. There are beliefs and story behind this. What do you believe about yourself here? 

[Vynce]

Maybe the rest of your life doesn’t offer as much pleasure and therefore sex has to compensate for it?

[No1Here2c]

1 hour ago, No1Here2c said:

Forget about it

You go long enough without it stops being such a worry

Anybody got my medicine?

[No1Here2c]

Nevermind I do

 

💚

Edited 31 minutes ago by No1Here2c

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, No1Here2c said:

Forget about it

You go long enough without it stops being such a worry

Being an incel/mgtow is not a solution to life lol. Just ends up in a compulsive porn addiction. 

[No1Here2c]

Just now, LordFall said:

Being an incel/mgtow is not a solution to life lol. Just ends up in a compulsive porn addiction. 

Not an issue.

[No1Here2c]

Just now, No1Here2c said:

Not an issue.

As in, I dont have to grapple with such a thing.

[No1Here2c]

& Trust me I got Drive!

[No1Here2c]

Awareness alone is Curative

[No1Here2c]

The only one I'll ever need!

[Jordan of the Shire]

See the contraction, know there is space within it, let go, enjoy. 

You're stuck in the *need more* or *not enough*

Practice gratitude and appreciation at the first release instead of looking for the next one.

By release I mean spaciousness. If you're contracting in the pursuit of pleasure. That must not feel great. You're chasing away the carrot. Find the space where you are, enjoy that, rest there.

Edited 57 minutes ago by Jordan of the Shire