Kindness is the #1 global partner preference

[enchanted]

Kindness ranks #1 in global long-term partner preferences: 117,293 people from 175 countries allocate a fixed 30 "importance points" across traits (2025 study) | PeakD https://share.google/aeY2BecUxei3EoNyq

Looks like nice guys finish first. 

Edited Wednesday at 06:03 PM by enchanted

[Shermaningeorgia]

kindness is nebulous.

[Basman]

Kindness is more about being trustworthy I think. Treating the other person's interests as your own.

And nice guys aren't kind. They act conditionally with the expectation that being nice will get them pussy. They can be very entitled and lash out if you don't give them what they want. They are low energy and low self-esteem.

Edited Thursday at 09:14 AM by Basman

[Basman]

A nice guy is someone who can't express what they want directly, so they try to get things indirectly through manipulation. They see themselves as fundamentally unlovable (and thus tend to act like such).

Boogie is a very severe case of being a nice guy. This guy pretends he's Mr. Rogers while being a total cu** in private.

 

[Jirh]

On 4/1/2026 at 9:01 PM, enchanted said:

Long-term partnership and attraction are two different things, almost opposites.

[Miguel1]

After they are attracted to you.

Kindness without attraction is called the friendzone.

[Raze]

The problem with self reported data is sometimes what people think they like isn’t what they actually respond to.

[Tenebroso]

There are also studies that show that a vast gap between what women say and who they choose. They select for looks just as much as men if not more. I think OP is a sad attempt at changing a narrative that doesn't stand up to much scrutiny. I don't know why it is uncomfortable for people to admit that women care about looks and status and will overlook red flags, character flaws to become involved with their type. It says more about you OP.

[enchanted]

42 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

There are also studies that show that a vast gap between what women say and who they choose. They select for looks just as much as men if not more. I think OP is a sad attempt at changing a narrative that doesn't stand up to much scrutiny. I don't know why it is uncomfortable for people to admit that women care about looks and status and will overlook red flags, character flaws to become involved with their type. It says more about you OP.

This sounds like manosphere Tristan Tate stuff. 

[Tenebroso]

42 minutes ago, enchanted said:

This sounds like manosphere Tristan Tate stuff. 

I do not like the manosphere or the Tate Brothers. You can observe the harsh truths about women without being a part of the manosphere. Women actually expose themselves the more they talk, you don't need a silly podcast to show you the reality of female nature.

[Zen LaCroix]

There was another study somewhere where it said covertly the number 1 trait that people look for in a partner is them being good at sex

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Tenebroso This would really be useful to you, if you take the moment to try to understand attachment theory:

 

[Valach]

43 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Tenebroso This would really be useful to you, if you take the moment to try to understand attachment theory:

 

I am not sure I understand how redpill is connect to attachment theory?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Valach I assume you watched the video?

[Ulax]

What people say they want and what people respond to are different things.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

5 minutes ago, Ulax said:

What people say they want and what people respond to are different things.

Very true. Similar with attraction. What we are attracted to is often not what we need - or what is good for us.

I think maturity plays a huge factor as this can be the operating mechanism of inhibition.

[Ulax]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Very true. Similar with attraction. What we are attracted to is often not what we need - or what is good for us.

I think maturity plays a huge factor as this can be the operating mechanism of inhibition.

Fr lol, I be getting attracted the Regina George regens

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, Ulax said:

Fr lol, I be getting attracted the Regina George regens

Gosh, this is a feel  

[Valach]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Valach I assume you watched the video?

Okay, I rewatched and get it now. Yeah, redpill stems out of insecutiry obviously. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 minute ago, Valach said:

Okay, I rewatched and get it now. Yeah, redpill stems out of insecutiry obviously. 

Its sorta weird cos I feel like red pill isn't even used as a term anymore. But the idea behind it persists. 

In a simplified way it appears it's just - broken people attract broken people. Both aren't able to recognize secure healthy love and approach it with their own beliefs (and loaded expectations) regarding what love is.

The again, these days, who actually gets raised right to KNOW secure love? There are many who claim there are only around 20% of people with healthy attachment styles. And those people typically do not use dating apps, and pair up relatively quickly. 

I've already been through my own healing from a lot of the wrong ideas of what love is.