What are you proud of?

[Spiritual Warrior]

What are you proud of?

As self help junkies, we tend to look for things to improve upon, but it is just as important to be proud of the things that you have accomplished. Please share some things that you are proud of about yourself.

Here is my list: 

I am proud of...

• The fact that my socializing skills has significantly improved. I am much more likely to talk to strangers at the gym or in a grocery store. I used to feel so quiet and reserved, now I say what's on my mind.
• The fact that I am competing and placing in these dance competitions, it was difficult to imagine getting to this point a couple of years ago but here I am. 
• My emotional mastery progress, I am much more in tuned with my emotions and allowing them to pass through me is much easier.
• I am proud of myself for attracting a good looking woman into my life.

[AION]

Probably my intellect, but at the same time I know it doesn´t belong to me.

[Raphael]

• I'm proud that I never smoked a cigarette.
• I'm proud that I don't drink alcohol.
• I'm proud that I'm able to maintain a clean diet.
• I'm proud that I haven't watch porn for more than a year.
• I'm proud that I have almost no addictions (except the internet).
• I'm proud of all the work that I did to heal my childhood traumas and young adult traumas.
• I'm proud of the maturity that I gained over the last five years.

[Carl-Richard]

Pride is a low emotion just above anger. It's mostly not worth focusing your time and attention on (unless you're working with the emotion). It's something you release when it happens (if appropriate) and get on with it. Try something like gratitude instead.

Edited 14 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[UnbornTao]

Just now, Carl-Richard said:

Pride is a low emotion just above anger. It's mostly a waste of time. It's something you release when it happens (if appropriate) and get on with it. Try something like gratitude instead.

I'd agree with the last two sentences. 

What do you mean by 'low', though?

[Ulax]

Niceeee. Time for some humble brags

Proud that I:

- Read war and Peace,

- Went to one of best universities in the world

- Was my university boxing captain.

- Took full notes on two Yale online courses (France since 1871 and Intro to Political Philosophy)

- Reached Gold V in Siege 6 (video game)

[Ulax]

5 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Pride is a low emotion just above anger. It's mostly a waste of time. It's something you release when it happens (if appropriate) and get on with it. Try something like gratitude instead.

We are doing humble brags here. That is okay.

[Carl-Richard]

33 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

I'd agree with the last two sentences. 

What do you mean by 'low', though?

The more primal in a survival sense (and placement in the triune brain, e.g. reptile brain), and the more self-referential, the lower.

Anger is when you run into an obstacle inhibiting your movement. Pride is when you overcome the obstacle or simply move very successfully. Thinking about yourself in the past overcoming obstacles or moving successfully is self-referential.

Gratitude may involve thinking about yourself in the past or simply appreciating something in the present, e.g. the food you're eating. It's essentially reminding yourself of the love you have for a thing and cultivating that love. It's not about you, as much as the thing you're grateful for. 

Notice me saying essentially "fuck your achievements" and how if you feel pride, the pride turns to anger, as I've become yet another obstacle to maintain that pride. While if your "achievements" are just a continual expression of joy, it doesn't matter what you think of them.

Edited 16 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Sincerity]

4 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

As self help junkies, we tend to look for things to improve upon, but it is just as important to be proud of the things that you have accomplished. Please share some things that you are proud of about yourself.

Here is my list: 

I am proud of...

• The fact that my socializing skills has significantly improved. I am much more likely to talk to strangers at the gym or in a grocery store. I used to feel so quiet and reserved, now I say what's on my mind.
• The fact that I am competing and placing in these dance competitions, it was difficult to imagine getting to this point a couple of years ago but here I am. 
• My emotional mastery progress, I am much more in tuned with my emotions and allowing them to pass through me is much easier.
• I am proud of myself for attracting a good looking woman into my life.

Very nice.  Great work!

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

I don't think much about pride but I'm very content with life overall, so I could say I'm proud of the journey that's been taking place and of myself.  Grateful too.

Edited 16 hours ago by Sincerity

[Carl-Richard]

18 minutes ago, Ulax said:

We are doing humble brags here. That is okay.

Meh.

[YIDIRYIDIR]

@Spiritual Warrior I'm proud of my 6-inch penis

[UnbornTao]

22 minutes ago, YIDIRYIDIR said:

@Spiritual Warrior I'm proud of my 6-inch penis

Finally, something coming from the heart.

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, YIDIRYIDIR said:

@Spiritual Warrior I'm proud of my 6-inch penis

Lmao

 

[Oppositionless]

Proud I stopped smoking grass

Proud I'm moving to a bigger city 

Proud I meditated (kriya) every day for 3 months even if I fell off recently 

[UnbornTao]

2 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

The more primal in a survival sense (and placement in the triune brain, e.g. reptile brain), and the more self-referential, the lower.

Anger is when you run into an obstacle inhibiting your movement. Pride is when you overcome the obstacle or simply move very successfully. Thinking about yourself in the past overcoming obstacles or moving successfully is self-referential.

Gratitude may involve thinking about yourself in the past or simply appreciating something in the present, e.g. the food you're eating. It's essentially reminding yourself of the love you have for a thing and cultivating that love. It's not about you, as much as the thing you're grateful for. 

Notice me saying essentially "fuck your achievements" and how if you feel pride, the pride turns to anger, as I've become yet another obstacle to maintain that pride. While if your "achievements" are just a continual expression of joy, it doesn't matter what you think of them.

But anger is quite fundamental to the human experience - it's a form of pain, rooted in the sense of feeling hurt.

I've never understood the need to fit emotions into a model or hierarchies. Anger is whatever it is. That's my gripe with it. Most of what you said I'd agree with and find reasonable.

Give pain some love.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I am proud I have the testicle to build a medical centre up to about $1mill acting as estimator, contracts administrator and project manager.

At the moment I cannot handle more than about a $1million budgeted build.

At one point I was homeless. So this is a lot for me

No.1 tip I have? Master the social domain. Social dynamics do it all for you. Good with people = get them to want to work with you.

 

[LoneWonderer]

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

No.1 tip I have? Master the social domain. Social dynamics do it all for you. Good with people = get them to want to work with you.

 

@Natasha Tori Maru I want your perspective in regards to this. So imagine I am extremely against this idea just for my personal life. Like I hate interacting with others apart from the bare minimum required in order to survive and thrive, none of my life plans revolve around other people mostly, I don't want to build anything by working with others or gaining the trust of others or manipulating other to get what I want. 

I see my near future in very social roles but this is just to grow myself as a person not to actually gain any survival advantages or benefits. In the long term I see myself in the social domain but mostly for spirituality (like in a spiritual community or something). Social domain will always only ever be just enough to help me realize god and never expennd time or energy into manipulating for some kind of advantage or looking for social leverage. I understand that if you're running a business this is a whole different story and as a business social relations is how you survive as a company.

Do you see this as a failure on my part? I'm genuinely intrigued. Am I avoiding something? This feels like part of my core identity since I was a child yet sometimes I feel like I'm a bad person or something for not playing social games (even though I know that's completely ludicrous thing to think of).

Edited 3 hours ago by LoneWonderer

[Carl-Richard]

10 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

But anger is quite fundamental to the human experience - it's a form of pain, rooted in the sense of feeling hurt.

It's quite literally the impeding of movement. Notice if you ever walk on the street and somebody stops right in front of you abruptly, it's so ingrained and spontaneous to get angry. The energy essentially says "move, get out of the way", it's energy that comes when you need to push through some boundary. Even tiny single-celled organisms probably have some kind of anger response. It's so deeply primal. And it doesn't necessarily involve a feeling of hurt. It's much more surface level, like a form of physiological activation. 

Feeling of hurt usually comes from something else, like shame, guilt, physical hurt, where anger might be involved as a secondary response (some men especially are unable to identify deeper emotions like shame, guilt, but instead only identify it as anger, which again is a primal and kind of physiological arousal). It's a very rudimentary form of emotion, that's what's meant with "lower". Same arguably with pride (despite humans making it complicated with all the mentalistic echoing back and forth).

 

10 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

I've never understood the need to fit emotions into a model or hierarchies. Anger is whatever it is. That's my gripe with it.

Why place anything in a hierarchy? Why describe anything as any limited thing? Why say anything is a certain way? I don't see why you would limit the problem to emotions or just hierarchical organization. Any type of organization has problems, isn't it?

Edited 3 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@LoneWonderer while I can never know your experience directly as my truth - what you describe strikes in very strong alignment to how I used to be. 

Ask me 5 years ago, and I would NEVER have told you I would ever be in this position. Ever. And it was never something I aimed for at all. 

I don't view this as a failing on your part. If I did I would have to claim *I* too, have failed! 

I don't have much advice here, other than a natural progression to this point. I used to detest the social domain. I still dislike the unconscious nature of it. I think a huge breakthrough point for me was realising I can endure another's company and not be for it. I can operate in social domains and recognise these are not my people. Unconscious people. They don't meant any ill. They are just locked in survival and will do almost anything - including fucking anyone over - to look after themselves and those they love. I learned as long as I don't get in the way of that. I'm fine. Even better if I can make them feel and see I aid in their survival (and this is the magic of what I do in business and how it works).

I also realised I am not obliged to respond to any conversation. Or questions. Some of these realisations made me sit in peace in social situations because the reframe was that I was not required to do anything. I simply chose to or not. Much of my own shit was the pressure of social CUSTOM. 

But when you fly in the face of social custom - it requires a profound amount of 'zero fuckd given'. Basically I am based as fuck now, whereas I wasn't before. Not sure any of this rings true to you.

I think you will find you might naturally branch out as you age. Or you just might find a perfect niche that meets your survival needs.

Big business and construction in particular can seem impossible and high stakes.

Step by step. Little by little. I went from introverted, introspective, deep girl to intense, focussed action oriented woman. I cut through bullshit at work. 

What I thought were needs where just comfort and familiarity causing stasis. For me anyway. That all fell away....

Edited 2 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[LoneWonderer]

4 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@LoneWonderer while I can never know your experience directly as my truth - what you describe strikes in very strong alignment to how I used to be. 

Ask me 5 years ago, and I would NEVER have told you I would ever be in this position. Ever. And it was never something I aimed for at all. 

I don't view this as a failing on your part. If I did I would have to claim *I* too, have failed! 

I don't have much advice here, other than a natural progression to this point. I used to detest the social domain. I still dislike the unconscious nature of it. I think a huge breakthrough point for me was realising I can endure another's company and not be for it. I can operate in social domains and recognise these are not my people. Unconscious people. They don't meant any ill. They are just locked in survival and will do almost anything - including fucking anyone over - to look after themselves and those they love.

I also realised I am not obliged to respond to any conversation. Or questions. Some of these realisations made me sit in peace in social situations because the reframe was that I was not required to do anything. I simply chose to or not. Much of my own shit was the pressure of social CUSTOM. 

But when you fly in the face of social custom - it requires a profound amount of 'zero fuckd given'. Basically I am based as fuck now, whereas I wasn't before. Not sure any of this rings true to you.

I think you will find you might naturally branch out as you age. Or you just might find a perfect niche that meets your survival needs.

Big business and construction in particular can seem impossible and high stakes.

Step by step. Little by little. I went from introverted, introspective, deep girl to intense, focussed action oriented woman. I cut through bullshit at work. 

What I thought were needs where just comfort and familiarity causing stasis. For me anyway. That all fell away....

Thank you for your perspective. Yes, I do wonder if it's something I'll outgrow with maturity and age...🙏

Edited 2 hours ago by LoneWonderer