Struggling to go out and socialize

[fopylo]

So I have those short blitzes of managing to go and socialize, but then followed by a long time of just avoiding going out, too long.

This is mostly tailored to my travelers out here, as traveling around and staying in hostels and making friends is the lifestyle. Plenty of opportunity to meet new friends and women.

My struggle is that I just don't have this motivation to go out and meet random people. I'm here in Thailand and there are many parties and bars, but it just feels weird going alone, and forget that aspect, I just mostly don't have the energy and motivation for it. Very high stimulus. Maybe here and there. But it frustrates me a little to think on my new year's resolution about setting to do 20 approaches a week, and this first month of January... I'm still on 0. Well, 0 in the technical aspect of cold approaching, because I did talk with like 3 people in my hostel in total for all this time being (one of them was a girl).

[CARDOZZO]

Tinder.

The app can make you see how desirable you are to Thai girls. This will boost your ego and motivation.

[Oppositionless]

Spend a year pursuing a deeply embodied awakening with psychedelics and hardcore spiritual practice then go to a yoga class, or even better, ecstatic dance if it's available .

Edited Monday at 07:12 PM by Oppositionless

[aurum]

11 hours ago, fopylo said:

My struggle is that I just don't have this motivation to go out and meet random people. I'm here in Thailand and there are many parties and bars, but it just feels weird going alone, and forget that aspect, I just mostly don't have the energy and motivation for it.

Do you have male friends to go out with?

Trying to go solo is a recipe for failure, especially when you're just getting started. Solo is brutally hard. It's more appropriate once you already have a lot of momentum.

Edited yesterday at 02:01 AM by aurum

[something_else]

9 hours ago, fopylo said:

So I have those short blitzes of managing to go and socialize, but then followed by a long time of just avoiding going out, too long.

This is mostly tailored to my travelers out here, as traveling around and staying in hostels and making friends is the lifestyle. Plenty of opportunity to meet new friends and women.

My struggle is that I just don't have this motivation to go out and meet random people. I'm here in Thailand and there are many parties and bars, but it just feels weird going alone, and forget that aspect, I just mostly don't have the energy and motivation for it. Very high stimulus. Maybe here and there. But it frustrates me a little to think on my new year's resolution about setting to do 20 approaches a week, and this first month of January... I'm still on 0. Well, 0 in the technical aspect of cold approaching, because I did talk with like 3 people in my hostel in total for all this time being (one of them was a girl).

If you’re staying in the right hostels it’s very easy to make friends. Join any mixed group in the common area in the evening and you’ll be welcomed with open arms. In Thailand there’s a 90% chance that group will end up going to a bar or a club that night.

Btw I backpacked Asia for most of 2024 partly to try and get over social anxiety, so feel free to PM me if you want recommendations or advice.

[Lyubov]

You gotta go deeper into your beliefs.  I would do some deep self inquiry. Why do you create resistance to going out and being social? Do you believe you have to be social? If you have a feeling do not stop there, you got to go deeper down to what is creating it which is the belief. 
 

 

[LastThursday]

Make it simple. Make a promise to yourself not to stay in your hostel room, except for sleeping, that's it.

[meta_male]

Try this: https://nomadtable.app/

[Hojo]

@CARDOZZO i tried dating app in Canada and never got any likes. People say im attractive so I am confused and I tried to make an Asian one to see if I would get any likes and I got like 20 likes instantly AND they were messaging me. Something strange happening over in white land. Not sure if females are way more stuck up or what.

The only time I've ever gotten liked and messaged on a dating app was a transgender dude.

Edited 23 hours ago by Hojo

[Oppositionless]

Going to yoga and being around conscious women is slowly but surely changing my entire perspective on dating , sexuality and gender. That's why my profile picture is a woman now. If you're conscious low consciousness women will make you feel unattractive, conscious women will make you feel attractive .

Edited 22 hours ago by Oppositionless

[CARDOZZO]

1 hour ago, Hojo said:

@CARDOZZO i tried dating app in Canada and never got any likes. People say im attractive so I am confused and I tried to make an Asian one to see if I would get any likes and I got like 20 likes instantly AND they were messaging me. Something strange happening over in white land. Not sure if females are way more stuck up or what.

The only time I've ever gotten liked and messaged on a dating app was a transgender dude.

I set up a tinder profile with 9 pictures. 2 of them are personal photos and the rest is hobbies, books, landscapes, memes.

I'm consistently getting 80 matches. I did 3 different accounts. 

I suggest that you lower your bar to get experience. 

[Hojo]

@CARDOZZOAre you telling me to have sex with a transgender dude?

[Oppositionless]

4 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@CARDOZZOAre you telling me to have sex with a transgender dude?

I wonder if you could pay a professional photographer to fix your profile. For me it didn't work because I currently live in a shithole, but if you're in a decent location it might .

[CARDOZZO]

2 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@CARDOZZOAre you telling me to have sex with a transgender dude?

Nope.

If you want to, do it. 

I'm telling you to, if you want, open your mind to relate to woman, whatever they are, ugly, hot, fat, strange.

Suspend your judgment. Go all in 

[fopylo]

@CARDOZZO

On 1/26/2026 at 11:27 PM, CARDOZZO said:

Tinder.

The app can make you see how desirable you are to Thai girls. This will boost your ego and motivation.

Yes bro I've been doing it for a while....

At first it did really boost my ego seeing a super fast increase (been on 99+ for a while now) and did feel good at start. I also matched with quite a few, but most of the conversations didn't really last. I don't really like some aspects about it -

- it seems like some women here are just for attention seeking (especially the very seductive ones).

- a lot of flake rates

- just creates more frustration that out of all the incredibly hot Thai girls here I barely get a date because of such and such (maybe not the best texter, but still have many likes). And at the end of the day I could realize I've been scrolling on the app for like an hour or two and slowly losing my ability to talk to women.

[fopylo]

On 1/27/2026 at 7:22 AM, something_else said:

If you’re staying in the right hostels it’s very easy to make friends. Join any mixed group in the common area in the evening and you’ll be welcomed with open arms. In Thailand there’s a 90% chance that group will end up going to a bar or a club that night.

Btw I backpacked Asia for most of 2024 partly to try and get over social anxiety, so feel free to PM me if you want recommendations or advice.

@something_else

Thanks for sharing. Don't exactly know what you mean by advice though

[fopylo]

@LastThursday interesting

[Leo Gura]

Having fun wingmen is the #1 tip for going out.

Yes, going solo is brutally hard so you won't be motivated to do it. You need good wingmen who make you wanna go out for the fun.

Edited 7 hours ago by Leo Gura

[CARDOZZO]

3 hours ago, fopylo said:

@CARDOZZO

Yes bro I've been doing it for a while....

At first it did really boost my ego seeing a super fast increase (been on 99+ for a while now) and did feel good at start. I also matched with quite a few, but most of the conversations didn't really last. I don't really like some aspects about it -

- it seems like some women here are just for attention seeking (especially the very seductive ones).

- a lot of flake rates

- just creates more frustration that out of all the incredibly hot Thai girls here I barely get a date because of such and such (maybe not the best texter, but still have many likes). And at the end of the day I could realize I've been scrolling on the app for like an hour or two and slowly losing my ability to talk to women.

You gotta be bold and direct with woman on Tinder.

Open conversations telling you want casual hookups. Direct, honest and bold.

You will save your sanity. You will not spend your time talking shit you do not want.

This is not being anti-spiritual. You are just communicating your desires.