Can Exes Be Friends?

[Lord Kadaver]

Hi everyone, I need some life advice. I have an ex lover who is not attracted to me/in love with me anymore. I however, do still love her and probably always will (she was my first relationship). She has expressed to me to she wants us to continue being friends. I'm emotionally in turmoil thinking about how I could possibly ever see her as just a friend. 

But at the same time, isn't true love about accepting the other person as they are? Wanting for it what it wants for? If I truly loved her (on a metaphysical level), could I not eventually learn to love her for her existence itself and not have any hope of being with her again? Basically, should I let her go or see her every blue moon? 

And would it be mentally/spiritually healthy for me to stay friends with her or just say goodbye?

 

Any advice is appreciated.

Edited 20 hours ago by Lord Kadaver

[Judy2]

44 minutes ago, Lord Kadaver said:

Hi everyone, I need some life advice. I have an ex lover who is not attracted to me/in love with me anymore. I however, do still love her and probably always will (she was my first relationship). She has expressed to me to she wants us to continue being friends. I'm emotionally in turmoil thinking about how I could possibly ever see her as just a friend. 

But at the same time, isn't true love about accepting the other person as they are? Wanting for it what it wants for? If I truly loved her (on a metaphysical level), could I not eventually learn to love her for her existence itself and not have any hope of being with her again? Basically, should I let her go or see her every blue moon? 

And would it be mentally/spiritually healthy for me to stay friends with her or just say goodbye?

 

Any advice is appreciated.

in my opinion, it can be a massive mistake to think you have to love an ex lover so much that they can "force" you to "stay friends" even if it's painful to you.

your emotions and your side of things are worth considering, too. that's also love.

[enchanted]

If cauliflower can be pizza you can be anything.

But seriously it sounds like you should move on to avoid the emotional turmoil you described above. 

[Hojo]

No. Maybe 5 - 10 percent can. She will fuck you over. You can love and accept her the way you love and accept a stranger on the street. If you cant do that then you want to love them and you said they dont love you that way.

Edited 18 hours ago by Hojo

[aurum]

@Lord Kadaver cut it off clean.

[Looks]

yeah you can be friends especially if its your first love. she wiill unblock me soon because i will manifest it.

 

a guy with makeup and lipstick, a hawk nosed italian bird, or any other white trash kid has yet to arrive to my level.

 

 

i was her first

[Joshe]

Time to move on. She doesn’t actually want to be friends so much as she wants to avoid feeling bad about hurting you. 

You might be looking at 3-6 months of suffering. You can speed the process up by thinking of her as little as possible.

It feels impossible to move on, and it’s very painful, but you have to do it. Time will erase the pain and she will become a distant memory. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Joshe

[Lyubov]

I would let this go and move on. Grieve and move on. This works sometimes when both people sorta fall out of love or get old and don’t care. Usually it’s harder for younger people to stay friends like this. 

[Terell Kirby]

Depends on the nature of the breakup I would say. If they dumped you it will be hard to maintain a friendship vs. if it was a mutual decision out of love and respect.

Many ex’s will try to keep you around after dumping you as it makes it emotionally easier for them- but they have no intention of getting back with you and will move on faster while you are holding out hope