'Burning through karma' problem

[koops]

I just rewatched the 'Burning through Karma video'.

How hard it is!
Sometimes it feels that is never going to end. Going back to previous vices, habits and attatchemts.

For example, now Im in a long term relationships, in my 30s, and I have this urge for the past month or so to date other women (younger). But its not just sex, its more like a short type honeymoon phase romance. I feel bad about it ofc. No shame though.

 

How do you handle this guys?

One of the tips in the video is to exhaust cravings. Well, I did it. I had sex and connection with multiple women to the point I felt bored about it, even some times I felt dirty and regret and emptiness after sex.

I feel it goes like this: wether you do it (exhaust the craving), or not, you are going to keep having it, if you do it, maybe less than before, but you will. I feel there is no scape, but to deal with them.
But at the same time, if you tasted great sex and great romance, and if you felt competent why would you stop? Thats the tough part for me.

With food, porn its easier. You dont really get anything of value, but sex and romance... damn

 

 

[Ishanga]

The key is always raising of Your Awareness or Consciousness level, the side benefit to that is Bliss, once You have Bliss as a natural experience then all the other pleasures don't compare, that doesn't mean that while Blissed out you don't still have Your fav ice cream cone or eat Your fav meal, watch you fav tv show, etc... It just means those things are no longer an attachment for You, as Your Bliss is in your control and pleasure is always there for You..

Karma or Conditioning/Tendencies/Past will rule You if the past is dominate in you, we can dissolve Karma via Living Now absolutely, that doesn't mean ignoring past or future, we just use it when we need it and don't live in those places that's all.. Acceptance too dissolves Karma, if Your totally in Acceptance of What Is, then nothing will rule You..

[Terell Kirby]

2 hours ago, koops said:

For example, now Im in a long term relationships, in my 30s, and I have this urge for the past month or so to date other women (younger).

how long is long term?

Of course there’s trade offs, stability and comfort of existing LTR vs new challenge in dating younger (exciting but not easy starting over)

Edited December 1 by Terell Kirby

[Hojo]

Its way easier to burn through karma when you are ignorant of spirituality and non religious. You have to be unconscious. So get drunk and go be an asshole.

Edited December 1 by Hojo

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, koops said:

if you tasted great sex and great romance

Well, this is no different than a drug addiction.

The problem is that if you keep feeding your addiction you become its slave, which creates needless suffering.

How much can you rid yourself of all cravings? That's difficult to answer. It will vary a lot from person to person.

No sex nor romance can last forever. They all end. Usually rather quickly.

Eventually you will have to learn to live without romance because at some point you will get too old for it. How much should you indulge in it until then? There is no clear answer to that question. It all depends.

Edited Monday at 04:20 AM by Leo Gura

[Kid A]

11 hours ago, koops said:

For example, now Im in a long term relationships, in my 30s, and I have this urge for the past month or so to date other women (younger). But its not just sex, its more like a short type honeymoon phase romance. I feel bad about it ofc. No shame though.

This is probably something all men in long-term relationships struggle with. Living in a big city full of young people certainly makes the problem way worse. The fewer attractive women you’re exposed to, the better.

[AION]

Pleasure and suffering come as a two for one deal. The more you enjoy (reward) the greater your fall (pay) will be and the greater your fall the greater your enjoyment will be, in potential. For most people it is an unconscious process but you can make it conscious.

Edited Monday at 10:39 AM by AION

[Schizophonia]

If you want another girl it means you don't love your girlfriend enough, it doesn't go any further than that.

Why are you with someone you don't love that much; that's your karma.

[AerisVahnEphelia]

56 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

If you want another girl it means you don't love your girlfriend enough, it doesn't go any further than that.

Why are you with someone you don't love that much; that's your karma.

It's so alien to me that people can't conceive of "hyper monogamy".

You don't love someone for the sex they provide, but for the infinity of a stable audience to your existence.
A witness, and in exchange you also provide a witness to their existence.

That is how you obtain "love".

If your love is based on tits/abs or behavior, you'll always be deceived.

[Peo]

5 minutes ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

If your love is based on tits/abs or behavior, you'll always be deceived.

I guess I will be deceived then.

[Apeiromania]

@koops After I read this book, I unintentionally became much less romantic. It also explains and deconstructs the nature of sexual obsession. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38728977-the-molecule-of-more

 

[Eskilon]

You need to see that everything is impermanent and that no desire will never truly satisfy you; this includes woman, career, titles and so on. In other words, you need to crave GOD and suffer deeply.

You need to come to a point where you ask like: "Is there more to life than sex and power?" 

[koops]

 

18 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

how long is long term?

Of course there’s trade offs, stability and comfort of existing LTR vs new challenge in dating younger (exciting but not easy starting over)

5+years.

I dont want to break up. Its about the urges, the cravings for the experience. What really piss me off is that they keep coming, and is not just sex/seduction/romance. Its also sugar, social media...

 

16 hours ago, Hojo said:

Its way easier to burn through karma when you are ignorant of spirituality and non religious. You have to be unconscious. So get drunk and go be an asshole.

hahah Im not planning doing stupid stuff (especially drunk). That leads to regret, which is way worse than the pain of the cravings.

 

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, this is no different than a drug addiction.

The problem is that if you keep feeding your addiction you become its slave, which creates needless suffering.

How much can you rid yourself of all cravings? That's difficult to answer. It will vary a lot from person to person.

No sex nor romance can last forever. They all end. Usually rather quickly.

Eventually you will have to learn to live without romance because at some point you will get too old for it. How much should you indulge in it until then? There is no clear answer to that question. It all depends.

Im not feeding it, thats the thing. I have cravings for something that Ive tasted in the past but I dont have now, even though Im in a LTR. 

I hope I get to old for it. Sometimes these cravings highjack my mind.

But I feel is not that easy. I asked a friend in his 40s if he has less sex drive, and he answered me:
'no! its even worse. In your 20s you are attracted to women in their 20s, in your 30s you are attracted to women in their 20s + 30s, in your 40s you are attracted to women in their 20s + 30s + 40s. So it gets even worse!''  That hit me hard. 

Im curious. You said in the video you have that craving for deep intimacy and romance. Have you satisfied it?  But still.. here is the problem I see.

If you haven't, you will regret it.

If you have, it will fade, and if it was so good, you can became addicted to it.

I guess we have to pick our poison.

 

9 hours ago, Kid A said:

This is probably something all men in long-term relationships struggle with. Living in a big city full of young people certainly makes the problem way worse. The fewer attractive women you’re exposed to, the better.

Exactly. The problem is that in my area there a lot of beautiful women.

I was re-reading The way of the superior man, and yes, its a masculine thing. Im accepting more the craving now, feeling it, letting it flow through my body in stead of feeling bad about it.

There a couple of chapters titled: 'you will often want more than one woman' and 'your attraction to the feminine is inevitable'. So yeah, but still, it seems that it never is going to go away. My guess is that we have to embrace that and live with that cravings from time to time. Just try to make them less intense.

 

9 hours ago, AION said:

Pleasure and suffering come as a two for one deal. The more you enjoy (reward) the greater your fall (pay) will be and the greater your fall the greater your enjoyment will be, in potential. For most people it is an unconscious process but you can make it conscious.

Yep. Thats the problem I find in Burning through karma concept. I feel that it can backfire.

 

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

If you want another girl it means you don't love your girlfriend enough, it doesn't go any further than that.

Why are you with someone you don't love that much; that's your karma.

Nope. Love and lust are two different things.

Also if one person in the relationship grows, stay fit etc... and the other doesnt... it creates a gap, and its easier to 'look around' in that scenario, even if its unconsciously.

 

7 hours ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

It's so alien to me that people can't conceive of "hyper monogamy".

You don't love someone for the sex they provide, but for the infinity of a stable audience to your existence.
A witness, and in exchange you also provide a witness to their existence.

That is how you obtain "love".

If your love is based on tits/abs or behavior, you'll always be deceived.

tits and abs are important, especially young. Don't kid ourselves here.

Otherwise incels wouldn't exist.

 

 

[Hojo]

@koops thats part of the karma.

[cistanche_enjoyer]

Try to contemplate your death. Like really, what would happen if you disappeared right now, puff, you’re gone?

What would you care more about: the deep and meaningful love of your girlfriend, or some temporary story with a random young girl? Which of these do you think will be more valuable the moment you die?