Is anti-feminism pro-relationships?

[mr_engineer]

https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/regret-belittling-men-63-ended-up-alone-3569366?srsltid=AfmBOooulKB7f6tT6cfJaununB6BZIfmiGQpuyVPPyMRSSuf_ojfBdp5

This feminist author says that the root-cause of the dysfunctionality of her relationships was her feminist ideology. 

In case the link doesn't work, you can watch videos on youtube reacting to this article. 

Edited Wednesday at 02:40 AM by mr_engineer

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@mr_engineer I will look soon - but is there a distinction made by the author between feminist ideology and toxic manifestations of it? 

Because toxic feminism appears to reduce and suppress the masculine. Which is wrong to me.

One massive way it does this is to invalidate male anger - the claim that 'all emotions are valid' is all good until we get to male anger. Because my gosh, men are fucken' denigrated for expressing this! And it is VERY wrong. Anger is a natural and normal expression. Just because some women feel unsafe around anger does not mean it warrants suppressing this in men. It leads to depression. Societies job there is to make us safe, not make us FEEL safe.

[Spiral]

You can be feminist and anti-feminist at the same time, it’s probably a solid approach to relationships. Oddly enough 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Valid part of feminism is women being empowered to able to make their own choices in life and live as they want to live. Which is, with the exception of the right to abortion, pretty much a status quo already. The rest of it I'd just ignore.

[Crazy_ball]

@Natasha Tori Maru After all the years of seeing this unfold, here's what I think about this. The ideology is just empty words (except for those who are actually doing something for women on the political front, which is a vanishingly small minority) This idea of the 'toxic manifestations' is also a part of the ideology. For the most part, awareness of the toxic manifestations doesn't do much to prevent damage. All it does is it serves as an intellectual defense-mechanism to defend oneself against accusations of being toxic and to escape the task of holding accountable those who are being toxic. What's being said here is more serious. What's being talked about here is the value-system of those who call themselves feminist. 

You have to understand that this is one of those ideologies that shapes people's entire personalities, it comes to change everything about who someone is. This value-system is the real problem. 

So, here's the value-system: 

• Independence, leading to an unconsciousness around human interdependence and an unwillingness to depend on anyone, 
• Female tribalism, which leads to the avoidance of men and seeing men as the 'toxic other'. Talk about how 'men are dumb, men are dogs' falls into this
• Trying to be the authority on 'health' and 'healthy society' - this one is especially pernicious. When they talk about what's 'healthy' and what's 'toxic', watch out for bias. This gives them a sense of moral superiority and self-righteousness which will justify any actual toxicity from them. Those feminists who are the gatekeepers of 'health' will call you misogynistic for uttering the words 'toxic feminism'.
• Social control - the whole talk about 'equality' and 'when you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression' is a bid for social power and social control. They tend to be naive about the right way to use the social power and are systemically unaware, which is why blanket-statements about 'the patriarchy' are very popular. Talk about how 'war would end if women ran the world' is also popular, and it's complete and total BS. 
• Emotional validation - they want emotional validation for themselves. It's not smart to expect emotional consciousness from people who are so mired in a battle-mindset, but the problem is they think they're emotionally conscious. Which they're not. At all. As you correctly pointed out, male anger does get invalidated. It's worse - men have only two emotions according to them - lust and anger. It also leads to a glorification of man-hate, which is actively denied. Leo here will directly come and deny this! 
• Superiority. Moral and intellectual superiority over men. This leads to them setting impossibly high standards for men on the dating-front, because they think they can meet their own standards! Also, if you will not admit to being inferior to a man on any front, he will have no role in your life. Which is why all of your relationships will fizzle out. 

This value-system is the root-cause of all of the toxicity. And this is the thing that needs to be looked at. Will this value-system lead to a happy life?! This article is the first real data-point that I can put across to make the case that it may not lead to a happy life. If not for this data-point, feminists would say 'we're perfectly happy with our lives, you worry about yours'. 

Edited Wednesday at 11:26 PM by Crazy_ball