Am I actually allowed to kill myself or not?

[Human Mint]

@Ishanga I am making you think, you're welcome

[Yeah Yeah]

I get what everyone is saying and most of you must be NPCs there is no way you truly love life seriosuly, life is not good, humans are deluded - personally in unhinged honesty, and staying anonymous - If I could hang myself without the fear of botching brain damage or if I had fentanyl to overdose, then I'd absolutely do it without hesitation. I hate humanity and the human condition. I wish I was brave enough to go through with it absolutely. Especially not have to reincarnate. Most lives are mediocre, nothing special, flukes, interchangeable and forgettable after a generation or two beyond their deaths. 

Edited December 15, 2025 by Yeah Yeah

[Yeah Yeah]

Leo Gura talks especially about how I'm imagining this life ... Yet for some reason I cannot imagine myself de-manifesting back to godhead awareness where I can dream any dream I wanted as Alan Watts also puts it - why can't I then wake up as god and start creating my own imagined fantasy - Instead I am bound to limited biology of predetermined habits beliefs and structures I must be enslaved within 

[Yeah Yeah]

I get what user Human Mint says - Some NDE (near death experience) reports do say this is like a primitive human experience which we can get sticky with monkey brain survival fear based beliefs and habits which are low density negativity (hate), yet that's not what exists in the white light higher density realms of openness, expansion and love. 

Edited December 15, 2025 by Yeah Yeah

[Elliott]

@Yeah Yeah I do love life. I enjoy the little things and I've found some great people, my 'tribe'. Just doing yoga, watching the stars, sunrise or set, clouds, a storm, blue sky, the snow, drinking a clean glass of water, eatimg an orange, camping and hiking, rock climbing, trail running, biking, sleeping, silence, walk through the park or city, meeting new people, kicking a soccer ball around: life can be heaven if you just listen to yourself. Society doesn't matter, worrying about society is hell. Whatever happens happens, but right now there are things I can enjoy.

 

Edited December 15, 2025 by Elliott

[Ulax]

Maybe might find this video interesting. He's a pick-up/ self-dev coach who had a fucked up childhood. 

I used to watch this video all the time when my life fell apart, was tormented and was on welfare. Most meaningful video on the internet to me.

(I'd skip the ad at 2:00 - 3:15)

Edited December 15, 2025 by Ulax

[Lila9]

 

I don’t have suicidal ideation, I have too strong an attachment to life, but I can understand why people choose it, especially when I feel at my lowest.

I love listening to this video, and I believe it can be helpful to people with suicidal ideation. There are some good arguments there. 

[Human Mint]

On 12/15/2025 at 4:06 AM, Yeah Yeah said:

If I could hang myself without the fear of botching brain damage or if I had fentanyl to overdose, then I'd absolutely do it without hesitation. I hate humanity and the human condition. I wish I was brave enough to go through with it absolutely. Especially not have to reincarnate. Most lives are mediocre, nothing special, flukes, interchangeable and forgettable after a generation or two beyond their deaths. 

Just consider that you feel this way because of selfishness. The antidote is selflessness.

[Schahin]

On 6.10.2025 at 2:48 AM, Yeah Yeah said:

I'm not looking for some hotline number or “hang in there” crap. My life has been non‑stop abuse, poverty, mould, burning plastic, soul‑crushing jobs, no intimacy, nothing to look forward to. I’m broke, exhausted, and angry.

Spiritually or ethically — whatever you want to call it — am I actually allowed to end this? Is suicide an actual escape from this nightmare, or is it just more pain somewhere else?

I’m asking for honest answers from people who have been through hell or have studied spirituality deeply. Don’t sugarcoat it.

 

My dear friend.

Please join a Bruno Gröning Friends Circle.

It will heal you, change your life and bless you. If you like to know what this is about then watch this documentary and the following three parts and if you have questions feel free to write me:

 

[Atb210201]

Yes and No.

Yes because the choice is yours.

And No because I'm not allowing you.

I want you to be here however hard it is and however much you suffer.

We're in the same boat so no I'm not gonna allow you to quit and make me feel more alone in these hardships.

[integration journey]

9 hours ago, Atb210201 said:

Yes and No.

Yes because the choice is yours.

And No because I'm not allowing you.

I want you to be here however hard it is and however much you suffer.

We're in the same boat so no I'm not gonna allow you to quit and make me feel more alone in these hardships.

That’s a great answer❤️

[Atb210201]

11 hours ago, integration journey said:

That’s a great answer❤️

Glad to hear it❤️

[Ramasta9]

Idk why this topic hasn't been locked and deleted already. 

[Yeah Yeah]

@Ramasta9 Chill—it actually helps me regulate. Where else am I supposed to put these questions? I’ve done the “right” things: four days ago I voluntarily went to the emergency department, a mental ward, a hotline, and spent hours with a professional. None of it touched the core issue. As Shakespeare put it, “To be or not to be—that is the question,” and Camus goes further: the question of suicide comes before any other philosophical inquiry, because until you decide whether life is worth living, every other question is secondary. That’s not pathology—that’s philosophy.

[Ramasta9]

55 minutes ago, Yeah Yeah said:

@Ramasta9 Chill—it actually helps me regulate. Where else am I supposed to put these questions? I’ve done the “right” things: four days ago I voluntarily went to the emergency department, a mental ward, a hotline, and spent hours with a professional. None of it touched the core issue. As Shakespeare put it, “To be or not to be—that is the question,” and Camus goes further: the question of suicide comes before any other philosophical inquiry, because until you decide whether life is worth living, every other question is secondary. That’s not pathology—that’s philosophy.

AI use to reply or communicate should be banned too. 

[Yeah Yeah]

@Ramasta9 Humans have always freaked out about new tools. The printing press? Threatened the churches and kings. Bronze-age weaponry? Some swore it’d start a war with the gods. Fire? They thought it would burn down the world. Some adapt fast and get the evolutionary edge. Others panic and miss the ride entirely.

Edited December 20, 2025 by Yeah Yeah

[Aaron p]

I'll give you the advice professionals once gave me, best way to get rid of suicidal levels of suffering? Just let it go pal  be sweet in the morning. Stop ruminating. 

Boom. Entire situation fixed. 

 

God, looking back...these guys were secretly geniuses the whole time!!!

Edited December 31, 2025 by Aaron p

[Aaron p]

Also incase the sarcasm is unclear, what I'm actually saying is...there will be many retards who are in positions of power and authority who try to fuck you and tell you to suck it up. Simply inform them that they can go and fuck themselves repeatedly and continue fucking themselves every day for the rest of their lives. Riding into the sunset, alls well that ends well.

[Lord of Darkness]

Dont kill yourself, just be more funny 

[trenton]

On 10/5/2025 at 8:48 PM, Yeah Yeah said:

I'm not looking for some hotline number or “hang in there” crap. My life has been non‑stop abuse, poverty, mould, burning plastic, soul‑crushing jobs, no intimacy, nothing to look forward to. I’m broke, exhausted, and angry.

Spiritually or ethically — whatever you want to call it — am I actually allowed to end this? Is suicide an actual escape from this nightmare, or is it just more pain somewhere else?

I’m asking for honest answers from people who have been through hell or have studied spirituality deeply. Don’t sugarcoat it.

@Yeah Yeah You might say I have been through hell and I have studied spirituality deeply. If you have seen my posts on this forum, you know my story. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts because of a combination of many problems including trauma, sexual abuse, family estrangement, complex grief, and loss of direction and purpose. I don't see how to make life acceptable to me because all options involve being alone with nobody who loves me while I continue to suffer meaninglessly. By the way, I hate soul-crushing jobs too. They make me feel even worse which is why it is hard to motivate me to get another job after what happened last time.

In terms of "am I actually allowed to end this?" According to spirituality there are no shoulds or should nots. The universe is structured such that people are allowed to be rapists, murderers, and terrorists hence they exist. There is such a thing as enlightened rapists such as gurus who might sexually abuse young children. The reason we might say you "should not" kill yourself is not because it is an objective rule as there are no moral absolutes. Instead it might be based on things like what is conducive to higher consciousness, truth, and love. For those reasons it makes sense that we should not run around raping and killing people because in that kind of society it is hard to guide traumatized minds toward truth, love, and consciousness so long as survival requires constant devilry and deception. If there were a spiritual reason to not jump off of a bridge, then maybe it would be for the collective good in that your identity includes more than just this one human being or ego. It is ego and its suffering that makes us want to jump off of bridges, and this is sometimes how I feel as well.

In terms of moral arguments, there are conflicting view points. On one hand, there are people who face situations that no human being should have to endure. Humans are resilient, but they are not indestructible given extreme enough circumstances. You might make the case for suicide in situations like euthanasia. Why should we tell a human being that they have to live and they have to endure unbearable suffering because of our beliefs? On the other hand, suicide is not a neutral act and it does cause harm to others even if they are not included in your circle of concern. I don't know what your family or relationships are like at this time, and that would likely be a big factor behind your suicidal thoughts as it is for me. Normally people would be told "think about your family," but it sounds like whatever family you had must have been terrible. In fact there are some parents who disown their children and may even encourage them to commit suicide.

Personally, I went to mental health centers admitting that I did not believe suicide was immoral which in turn indicated that I was at a higher risk. The way I have been trying to cope with suffering was by making my suffering meaningful. This is exactly way the soul-crushing jobs are so devastating. If you endured severe abuse and are unable to use your strengths and passions that give you meaning, it makes it feel like all of this trauma was for nothing and you will live in perpetual grief and bitterness. I often ask myself "why should I want to live under these conditions?"

To this day I still don't have an answer. Once I lost my sense of direction, I tried turning to spirituality. The reason I looked so much at spirituality is because I was trying to find meaning and purpose for my existence, but ultimately this kind of behavior was a trauma response. People often turn to things like religion because they faced severe trauma and are trying to cope in whatever ways they can. I have been trying to find purpose through systems thinking and chess as well, but I faced other obstacles. Ultimately my problems cannot be overcome through intellectual pursuits and I require stable and healthy relationships.

I hope you do get out of this situation somehow, but I must admit that objectively most people never recover from trauma because our current mental health system is inadequate. In my case I am still doing whatever I can through intellectual pursuits, looking for direction through deeper understanding of life and reality. It is hard for me to take the final step and carry out my suicidal plans. Sometimes there are invisible solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems, and I have witnessed this before even when it seems hopeless. The solutions are not obvious and hard to find, but they may actually exist.