Did I experience Awakening?

[AHappyTeddyBear]

So I recently meditated and mid-session i opened my eyes and everything felt surreal. Like more real than my current reality. Everything I looked at just became very conscious. I dont know how to explain it.

And then I felt a sense of pure TERROR that i never felt before, i was absolutely terrified and wanted to get out of this state of consciousness immediately. It was this scary.

It lasted for like 15-20 seconds and then I managed to get out of it.

After this experience, I stopped meditating. I'm scared that if I meditate again, I will get this feeling again. Is this part of the path?

Was this an experience of No-Self,  Awakening? What could it have been?

Edited Sunday at 07:47 AM by AHappyTeddyBear

[Leo Gura]

Yeah, it's in the right direction.

Don't worry, that's just the tip. 

[gettoefl]

Fear is prominent in awakening. No ego wants to wake up or allows itself to if it is permitted any say. It's utterly frightening to be absent ego. To last in the world will be difficult. Because everything is same. To not eat is just as cool as to eat. To sleep as not to sleep. You literally have to force yourself to maintain this bag of bones. Why bother, right? You bother because your Godself may have something up its sleeve. Someone could need a hand. 

[nerdspeak]

The Thai Forest tradition goes as far to say that you shouldn’t do insight practice (vipassana) until you have at least a bit of pleasant concentration (shamatha). The shamatha protects you from the terror and makes it a good deal easier to deal with. 

Doing insight practice without basic concentration skills can really screw up your life. 

[ExploringReality]

2 hours ago, nerdspeak said:

The Thai Forest tradition goes as far to say that you shouldn’t do insight practice (vipassana) until you have at least a bit of pleasant concentration (shamatha). The shamatha protects you from the terror and makes it a good deal easier to deal with. 

Doing insight practice without basic concentration skills can really screw up your life. 

Interesting, there is a top book on Leo's Booklist that integrates awakening with concentration practices to balance your experiences, so you don't fry yourself with fear or overwhelment 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@nerdspeak

Yes this is important - one of the big benefits to following an established path is that there are structures in place to catch you when you fall. They have tradition that acts as a guardrail when really going deep.

I think it's one thing they get right. 

Discernment is key.

[Salvijus]

11 hours ago, AHappyTeddyBear said:

Was this an experience of No-Self,  Awakening? What could it have been?

It was whatever meaning you chose to ascribe to it. If you ascribe no meaning to it, it was nothing at all then. And so it is with every experience. Therefor a wise one says: "nothing ever happened". 

Edited Sunday at 07:37 PM by Salvijus

[ChrisZoZo]

@AHappyTeddyBear when you’re asleep you don’t realise you are asleep. Then when you wake up from your sleep you realise you are awake. That’s awakening, so did you wake up? well does it fit that definition?

[ivankiss]

16 hours ago, AHappyTeddyBear said:

TERROR

Yes! That's the ceiling! Break through!

(but don't hurt yourself)

[Yimpa]

Hey, I also experienced this last night, what a coincidence!

[Hojo]

@AHappyTeddyBear What the man said about having a special ground is correct. I didnt have it and I wake myself up via fear of death. I was 1 day away from killing myself the fear was so great. My life was so scary i was feeling demons looking at me from dark spaces everywhere. I didnt know what was happening and just wanted it to end. Finally when it ended I shot into infinite love. But its dangerous and I am still mentally fucked up even after it all. Its 4 years after I awaken and am still confused. You are conquering fear. Fear is like a horse that looks running around in your mind. Awakening is grabbing it and squeezing it down to 1 percent. You can only do this letting it absorb you then saying jokes on you I was faking the whole time.

When I awaken I literally saw the fear in my mind get squeezed down to 1 percent. Like the smallest part of a pie chart. I couldn't get it down to 0 percent.

Once you see what fear is you will be able to stop it before it pops off. Like you are taming a wild horse.

Once you awaken fear becomes a tamed wild horse.

Edited Monday at 12:47 AM by Hojo

[Aaron p]

What I've gathered is, usually, if we're talking about real awakening, if you have to sit and try and figure out if you've actually had one, you haven't. But there's many lower awakenings small "a".

Even knowing this stuff and it being at all palatable for you is an awakening in my book. 

[cetus]

On 9/28/2025 at 3:40 AM, AHappyTeddyBear said:

I'm scared that if I meditate again, I will get this feeling again.

 Give it to me, I'll gladly take it. haha I remember those days well. It was like a first experience at sky diving. -Nothing is like your first time.