People do not interact with you, they interact with their idea of you

[Razard86]

As you go through out life and grow and develop you will come across times where you will be misunderstood and even your word or your expertise will not be trusted. Many, many times people will misinterpret your words, bring up past events, and even accuse you of motives you do not have. Now this might perplex you and leave you speechless and aghast at these moments and why they happen but don't worry I have the silver bullet to kill that wolf of wonder that you have been unable to capture and defeat.

You see majority of people do not actually interact, interface with you, they form an idea in their mind of who they think you are, and then everything is filtered through that idea. This especially happens in things like politics for example where a message is received differently by various people all because they are making assumptions about the person's character. 

Now if you are not careful in your own life, you could very well be making this same mistake. Parents make this same mistake ALL THE TIME, why do you think some people have to spend their life trying to explain to their parents that they are not the same little 4 -5 year old running around because your parents are so tied to their opinion of who you were when you were small. You see your parents don't see all the growth you have gone through and they definitely are not present for every experience that happened while you were growing up (even though they like to assume that they were) for example when you rode the bus to school or when you hung out with some friends over their house. If you were bullied growing up and it never got reported then your parents are not aware of that experience and how it affected you.

This is why I always remind myself that whatever opinion I have of a person, is not the same thing as the person. An opinion is just a concept, it is NOT actuality, it is NOT the actual person.  Contrary to popular belief, people DO CHANGE, now some only change in small ways, while others can make BIG leaps in their development but nobody remains EXACTLY the same as you have met them. Trust me on this, life makes sure to EDUCATE US ALL. So what I always do is make a rule to myself that no matter how strongly I feel about someone, I always hold space for the opportunity for them to show me a deeper, more in depth version of who they are.  Now for me this has worked wonders because it has proven absolutely true that whatever opinion I hold of a person, no matter how complex and detailed, it never is perfectly representative of the actual person and it has been absolutely WONDERFUL to be shown the limitations of my ideas of a person,

Unfortunately majority of people, especially much older people set in their ways, this will not be your experience of how they TREAT YOU. They WILL treat you exactly as they have interpreted you and they will justify it under the guise of years of reading people well into their old age. They will believe themselves to be wise the whole time, thinking they got the skin of you, the smell of you, believing that their intuition has perfectly sized you up and that the box they have erected is actually where the truth of you resides. Understand that not only are they not aware of how wrong they are, if you try to break them out of it they will see you as just some young inexperienced upstart who doesn't understand how the world works. Just leave them to their know-it all worlds with peace because that is all they will ever know.

So the next time you interact with someone ask yourself, am I responding to what is presently happening? Or am I using past events to dictate how I receive this person? 

 

Edited August 28 by Razard86

[Natasha Tori Maru]

E - X - A - C - T - L Y

One hundred percent

This applies to so much of life. Bias.

Even when having a discussion with someone - they aren't truly listening to the information presented.

Most of the time they are listening for the parts that will confirm what they already know, or that conform to what they believe. Clients I work with walk away with a completely different understanding of what was discussed, as an example.

It is rare that someone can hold empty space for an idea or experience free of context that may contradict their views.

We need to approach everything from a deep place of not-knowing. Openness and curiosity. Clarity.

Ignorance flows from certainty.

Great post - appreciated!

[AION]

Plot twist: the I-dea is the only thing there is. 

[samijiben]

8 minutes ago, AION said:

Plot twist: the I-dea is the only thing there is. 

There is someone lurking beneath all the concepts and judgements.

It's just not a person.

It's God.

[theleelajoker]

@razard86 In short: yes. 

I once had an LSD trip where I deeply realized how much we do this. I could literally, energetically FEEL these projections on others.

And it sparked a strong curiosity in me.  I knew that the ONLY WAY to really get to know others is to go beyond this image, appearance, assumption and to truthfully and authentically interact and ask: What are you really saying? What do you mean? How do you really see that? What is it that you want to express? It's an attitude, a mindset as well as being smart, empathic with language (verbal and nonverbal) so that people have courage to drop these ideas and that I can open up to what they truly are vs. what I see in them and what they see in me vs. what really is.

Once I learned how much I do project, I can easily see it on others. 

Of course, it's easier said than done hahaha   Requires constant awareness and presence. But I am getting better. Still have this moment of realization of the trip in my mind. Contrary to many other trips, this realization did not fade as fast...

38 minutes ago, AION said:

Plot twist: the I-dea is the only thing there is. 

@aion

I think I know that you mean. My hypothesis is that when you are able to transcend this idea IN THE THIS VERY MOMENT of interaction, in the present - then you open up to a truly creative process instead of being stuck in the ideas/programs. 

Makes sense? It's a bit abstract  

Edited August 28 by theleelajoker

[Princess Arabia]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

Before I saw who the author of the post was, (just the title), I was like brilliant, I wonder whose post is this. Then I saw Razaard and said, "figures". Not that excited anymore. It was like the norm for you to come up with something brilliant. I wasn't impressed. 

This is a compliment and I'm sure you can see that. 

This happens even with people we interact with regularly and know well in person so don't be fooled; imagine online and with those we barely know, even relatives. It's never who the person is because there's no one there. I hope you realize that that's the reason. It's already a bunch of ideas and stories that make up the person and that's what's interacting with each other.

 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, samijiben said:

It's just not a person.

👍

[Princess Arabia]

I know most won't agree but it's because there's no one in that body. I'll leave it there.

[Salvijus]

Nice title. People live in a dream of their own making rather than in the actuality. We're all guilty of this. 

Edited August 28 by Salvijus

[Sugarcoat]

Takes a great deal of self awareness to notice this

[Salvijus]

Seeing another anything but the presence of I AM is a projection. Hallucination. Underneath the projections is the holy relationship. 

Edited August 30 by Salvijus

[Rishabh R]

@Razard86 Absolutely. How people interact with you is based on what they think about you. I used to be angry when people act in such and such way and that's because I hold a concept of how others are in my head. However, with thing such as disrespect one must stop caring about people's action so that one is unshaken by good and bad behaviour maintaining their poise/grounded ess.

[Schizophonia]

No people are right about you and you're right about people.
If someone thinks you're an asshole it's because it makes sense within their structure, even if you think you're doing good ; both points of view are true.

You still believe there is an "objective" you.

Edited August 29 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

On 28/08/2025 at 8:53 AM, AION said:

Plot twist: the I-dea is the only thing there is. 

Yes spot on 

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

You still believe there is an "objective" you.

You also see yourself with a mental filter. So that’s right

[Hojo]

does their opinion of you shape you?

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Hojo said:

does their opinion of you shape you?

No, your opinion of them shapes them. How is that different? There is no them, and you think there's a you, so you're shaping the world around you.

[Hojo]

@Princess ArabiaYou are now my slave then.

[Princess Arabia]

On 8/29/2025 at 8:18 AM, Rishabh R said:

However, with thing such as disrespect one must stop caring about people's action so that one is unshaken by good and bad behaviour maintaining their poise/grounded ess.

This is still caring about people's actions. The fact of trying to act in a way or pre meditating your way into how to respond shows you believe in such ideas. Stop caring about people's actions shows you care about people's actions to even stop caring. It takes energy to maintain and trying to maintain a poise shows effort. You're not realizing how all this pre-maneuvering and planning and all is giving more importance to it than not planning it out at all and just responding as it happens. 

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@Princess ArabiaYou are now my slave then.

 Only in your fictitious mind, dear Master. 😜😛Dream on!!