I need advice texting a woman

[Starlight321]

Last weekend I met a girl at a rave and got her number. I haven't texted her and she wrote me today this (translated into english):

"Hey, here is .... Did you have a nice sunday and start into the week? I find it nice having met you.

I thought that maybe we could keep each other up to date abou new raves, exstatic dance, yoga, meditation. I'm also open to other topics."

I'd interprete this that she has no interest but maybe I'm wrong. should I still ask her if she wants to grap a cup of coffee or come with me to an event?

First after the night ended I thought it went well but haven't got the theoretical knowledge of game and after watching some videos I noticed lots of mistakes even though the vibe was very good during the night until it dropped at bit when I learnt that within 13 hours she was doing shrooms, mdma and some speed and then more mdma in front of me.

The next morning I saw her and two other people from the night before and hung out a bit and she was really hung over and we talked only little. So I don't think that too much has stuck in her mind of night but it was fun.

However I'd use this as opportunity to get experience. Should I still ask her for a date? I could answer "sure. There is this  ... workshop this week. Do you want to accompany me? :)" or should I just straight ask her if she does want to go out? 

Edited 23 hours ago by Starlight321

[Hojo]

If she is texting you first it means she is interested. She won't ask you out but if she is texting you it means ask me out.

Edited 23 hours ago by Hojo

[samijiben]

Honesty is the best policy

[Jannes]

11 minutes ago, Hojo said:

If she is texting you first it means she is interested. She won't ask you out but if she is texting you it means ask me out.

Yes

Talking about these things seems like creating low risk opportunities to get to know you without much pressure. 

 

50 minutes ago, Starlight321 said:

"sure. There is this  ... workshop this week. Do you want to accompany me? :)" or should I just straight ask her if she does want to go out? 

The first would probably work well, the second probably too if you keep it light (dont make it explicit that its a date). 

[Joshe]

You should build rapport first with simple conversation. “ Yeah, I’m glad we met too! it’s going alright I guess. How is your week going?”

[samijiben]

3 hours ago, Joshe said:

You should build rapport first with simple conversation. “ Yeah, I’m glad we met too! it’s going alright I guess. How is your week going?”

Boom. Perfect. Settled.

[Salvijus]

If you need to ask others, you already failed. Drop the desire to control or to be clever and just be open and let the words come to you from within. The heart knows the way. Wu Wei. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Salvijus

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Starlight321 said:

"Hey, here is .... Did you have a nice sunday and start into the week? I find it nice having met you.

I thought that maybe we could keep each other up to date abou new raves, exstatic dance, yoga, meditation. I'm also open to other topics."

I'd interprete this that she has no interest

Are you insane?

This is the text analog of her spreading her legs open for you.

Don't beat around the bush with BS. Text her: "I was thinking about you. Let's grab a drink sometime."

Edited 14 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Are you insane?

I cant 

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

If you need to ask others, you already failed. Drop the desire to control or to be clever and just be open and let the words come to you from within. The heart knows the way. Wu Wei. 

+1

If she's texting you, she's interested. What this interest is leading to is what it's about to find out. Welcome to life

 

[samijiben]

Yeah I like what Salvijus said. Fuck this forum. Go for full Autonomy. Anytjing short of tjat is selling yourself short. Also don't wanna sell yourself too much, but that's a different story, wa ha ha ha.

[Starlight321]

Thank you for your comments. 🙏@Leo Gura why not build rapport first and answer her question as the others said? Or should I answer them after directly asking her out? What is the psychology behind that?

Edited 11 hours ago by Starlight321

[Leo Gura]

26 minutes ago, Starlight321 said:

Thank you for your comments. 🙏@Leo Gura why not build rapor first and answer her question as the others said? Or should I answer them after directly asking her out? What is the psychology behind that?

You can answer her question, so as not to come off too eager.

But don't waste too much time on rapport over text.

[Starlight321]

12 hours ago, Hojo said:

If she is texting you first it means she is interested. She won't ask you out but if she is texting you it means ask me out.

Ok thx

[meta_male]

13 hours ago, Starlight321 said:

I'd interprete this that she has no interest but maybe I'm wrong. should I still ask her if she wants to grap a cup of coffee or come with me to an event?

When a girl texts you, assume she wants to see you and organise the meet up.

Edited 10 hours ago by meta_male

[Starlight321]

Yes, I got a positive answer! She answered almost emediately that she's interested and it would be best to meet spontaneously the next days.

Do you know what would be a good idea to go? Just coffee or a bar? Or just an interesting event? Should the location be close to my home?

What steps should I inform myself next?

Thank you all for your advice. 😊

 

[meta_male]

@Starlight321 Bruh, next you'll be asking what underwear to wear. She said yes, that means lead. Pick a spot you enjoy, show up, and vibe. ✌️

(Coffee's fine but it can kill the spark...better to choose something with more tension.)

[Leo Gura]

33 minutes ago, Starlight321 said:

Do you know what would be a good idea to go? Just coffee or a bar? Or just an interesting event? Should the location be close to my home?

As close to your house or her house as possible. Your house is better because you can control more of the variables, less surprises.

Select a location with multiple locations around, so you can bounce from coffee to park to ice cream, and so on. You want to bounce around between multiple locations. Do not stay in one location for more than 30-60 mins. Keep things light, playful, and moving along. It must feel like an adventure across town. Do not go to a formal sit-down restaurant. Pick more casual and quicker locations so you can freely bounce on. Smaller snacks are better than one large meal in a single place. Outdoor shopping malls and centers are ideal dating locations with many interesting shops.

Ideally try to get her to meet you at your place if possible. Then at the end of the night you'll conveniently be at your place without needing to specifically drive there. But if you text her to drive to your place make sure you tell her than you are not going inside your house, you're leaving immediately for the drinks. So she doesn't think you're asking her to meet you inside your house. That would be red flag for her.

Have something of interest in your house to invite her to look at, like an interesting book, photo-album, something. This will be your excuse to invite her inside. Have something ready to do inside, like a cartoon to watch, an interesting YouTube video, etc. Have some drinks in your fridge. Maybe have a snack ready.

Then again, this girl already clearly wants to sleep with you, so nothing special is required. Just lead properly, don't be weird, and don't be a pussy at the end of the night. You get her on your couch for make-out and more.

Edited 7 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Starlight321]

23 minutes ago, meta_male said:

@Starlight321 Bruh, next you'll be asking what underwear to wear. She said yes, that means lead. Pick a spot you enjoy, show up, and vibe. ✌️

(Coffee's fine but it can kill the spark...better to choose something with more tension.)

So my superman panties will work?

The thing is, that there are spots that are maybe 30-40 min away from my place that are really good but I'm not sure if it's better just to go to the cetral district of my city or just a location near by. There is even an event called "sound bath" which is in a big hippy tent this friday which is 35km away and might be over kill but would be a perfect event.

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Starlight321 said:

30-40 min away from my place

No! No! No!

Too far.