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About Starlight321

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  1. Thank you, my friend. Recently I talked about my experience with a friend who studies philosophy and he told me that his pale who also studies philosophy experienced with those substances and he came to the conclusion that this experience were just a hallucination and prone to the expectation. How come he didn't get that all is imaginary or went meta? Why do in fact most people not get it or misinterprete it?
  2. After preparing food and drink and making some harm reduction adhustments in my apartment I ingested 225yg V Lsd. This substances can be far more visual like dmt but anotjer pattern. I had eaten beefore and it was a pallet. Therefore and giving to slow come up with v lsd in general it took 3-4 hours to really start tripping and oh boy it was the most intense trip of my life. I had often higher doses before in my life and the last time I had a real breakthrough on lsd before was one year ago. The first 2-3 hours after kicking in I solved some important traumas and saw the things I regret that I did I forgave it because god is forgiveness. I did that a lot. But then I changed minds and became other persons I know which have suffered terrible things and it was strange because I knew what happened at the time and I forgave that as well an saw that every missconsuct came from love. I also experienced multiple deaths of relatives and what they regretted in their last moments and I could forgive for them as well. Then I could release some generational trauma that was built up in my body and I died multiple times. After that while listening to music, something klicked inside and the disharmoniuosness I was in disappeared and there was all the love there is, because it was all me. Then I opened my eyes a d saw that 7,5 hours had passed. I started to worry because it seemed to get more intense and the visuals were so strong that the closed eyes blend into what I saw and I could barely read. I also feared that I would loose ground completely. It never happened before but for this case I always have a harm reduction chat open where I can be calmed down and ground my experience because I feared that I would loose my mind and stay there stuck. Everytime I closed my eyes my whole reality dissolved into fractals and impossible geometry and so many diferrent angles or multiple dismensions, and this was quite teriffying for the last bit humanness that was left. During this time I also realized that multiple lifetimes are still dreaming and all teachings are part of the dream and many if not all keep you from reaching truth. By the way there was also a time were I experiences orgasms for what was eternity but after seeing that it has no values this way, I stopped. During closed eyes I also started creating beeings and mind wanderings. After 9 hours I noticed that trip was slightly wearing off. That was the time I lost my fear of being stuck and I enjoyed the trip again and created things in my imagination again and guess what, after a while I created all this here step by step and I comepletely understood why I created every aspect of this world and my sickness and disability. It's pure love and I love my life and it sucks right now enormuosly because I greatly care for it and I do things which suck. Froms gods perspective it's great and it has so many chances. I also noticed that I'm on a very excelerated low level vibration and will stop feeding it because this and my porno addiction plus the adrenaline rush of my ptsd irritates the body and mind to a horrific level and create pains and inflamations from which I suffer. Also my bad attitute in general sustains this feeling. My plan is to use the following 2 weeks to take right paths and slow it a bit down to change tracks. I will probably trip again in 2 weeks if I feel right. After that I might not have the time for it until december and it's very important that I reduce the trauma a bit. I also take aways are to be more honest, even with small things, stopping feeding my mind with shit and exelerating it because of the structure of my nervous system the mind will project danger on it and go into a survival vicious circle. I also realized how important it is to forgive and do things I love. Negativity also feeds into pain. It is strange because after every breakthrough I create a slightly different, more harmoniuos self. I'm very greatful for this place. I know I can do it and create a great life despite the hindrances. I came down at 12 hours and had slight visuals for another 16 but after some good sleep I'm back to normal. And finally I thank you for being here and being a positive influence. 😊
  3. The channel from this has also good content
  4. I've discovered a website displaying short movies of independent and emerging filmmakers. The movies are not the typical low quality content you get on prime or netflix and has high artistic value due to the focus on art, experimental techniques and novelty and it's for free. They have a homepage and a youtube channel. The homepage is better though because some movies are quite controversial in displaying social issues and violence in a non glorifying way. But there is also lighter comedy. Feel free to have a look and check it out for yourself. So have a good time. 😊
  5. I think even 10g can become very dangeruos and unneccesary if you are able to deconstruct your reality on a lower dose because it can become overwhelming or you might get dellusiomal or forget that you're tripping and do stupid things. There is also the risk that your mind is in a different world while your body does beheave like a maniac. Imo it's safer to use dmt or one of its analogues to get in a different dimension. @Girzohow would you describe a break through on shrooms? Is it just infinity and god realization or being in a completely different space like on dmt? Where would you draw the line?
  6. Hey I want to share my insides from my trip. I ingested 1,8 g golden via lemon tek on an empty stomach. First of all, I'm so freaking glad that I did that. I deconstructed almost all of me and reality but had only glimses and then my mind started distracting me with all it got. It is so astonishing how full of shit I am and other people as well. But on the other hand I saw that all of reality is just a big construction of my mind. I also clearly saw that buddhism is full of shit as well and the attenpt of overcoming of suffering is creating suffering and distracts from finding out what THIS IS. I also became aware how I created all the emotions out of thin air and I convinced myself that there were an external source to it. That means that all mental suffering is self inflicted and resistance created the illusion that there is something stable and contracted. That means that I will start again listening minimum to my mind and doing things I avoid. That will make me free from it. There was another interesting aspect which is that I understood how my live turned down to shit about a year ago and I got from all people stupid advice including a buddhist nun and that I should have done this way earlier, then I would't have gone so deeply the rabbit hole. So the take away is that I have to and want to make my own decisions because in general nobody else can know whats best for me. Also I notices how my biases and dishonisty backfire because this shit turns against me and I cannot accurate assess situations. The thing is that every time I become very conscious (maybe 100 times more) in my every day life my mind starts to catch me off guard and I get into a vicious circle of unconscious beheavior and create hell on earth inside me. By the way, it came to mind that the reason I was so free and happy for many periods before despite of heavily traumas and disability and health issues was that I was super conscious of my bullshit and therefore not bound by it and it became less and I did the right things which is obviuosly important. I also was much healthier in general because I didn't pollute as much my mind as I did the last 10 months and I was connected to love which made things way easier. It's really stunning how brillant the design of it is and how easy one can sell his soul for a wet dick or a candy bar not thinking of the cost and further than the next day. It also became clear that if I have no positive vision which satisfies me I easily get into negativity and distruction. All this os joyious news because that means I can do a lot to improve my situations and how I feel and think and live. I just have to act and want to do it and do it consciuosly. I also wrote down some instructions to get on the right way again. Finally thank you guys and @Leo Gura for your inspiration and pointing out the bullshit. I'll probably do another trip next weekend and between I'm gonna work on myself and use the energy I waste with negativity in creating a better life how I want it. I feel a little bit like a archiologist excavating diamonds under the dirt. Peace 😊✌
  7. A snake with one leg:
  8. @trenton It's hard to say due to the lack of acurate and complete info given. Also there is a lot of noise which has to be filtered. As for being a dire situation for ukraine I think yes, but it could be worse and the russians might as well mess up their plans again due to other factors like incompetence and recklesness which is inherent to the entire russian army. However, russia has more ressources and they have been pushing the front for months. But on the other hand the ukrainians are also preparing for a counter offensive in spring and I don't know what would be better, pull back and repositioning or hold the line and having less territory to reclaim before the negotiations.
  9. I've found a channel that gives a daily analysis about the situation. I've only watched a few of those videos and I see that his view is a a bit skewed towards the russian side but never the less does he give a good overview about what's happening and the strategies of both the ukrainian and russian forces because he also takes russian sources into account. But take all this with a little grain of salt and use this as complementary info to make sense of the situation.
  10. @Leo GuraAs far as I know lebanon is pretty chill about doing pickup and partying. Even people from saudi arabia go there to party and hook up.
  11. I was wrong about the concentration in my earlier post. Can this editet post be deleted or hidden? If not, then just ignore it.
  12. The video is nice but this isn't a breakthrough. Unfortunately what they have done has almost no consequences for research on nuclear fusion reactors because the design of the experiment isn't fit for extracting energy. It was constructed to do research on explosions. We have already had a little thread about it.
  13. The russian troops have broken through major defensives of the ukrainians. Seems that bakmut is about to fall soon and the way to sloviansk and kramatorsk will be open shouldn't the ukrainian forces be able to stabilize the front in the open fields. The russians use what has always worked for them. Attack through sheer mass and brute force and it works because the ukrainian troops are forced to through soldiers and material back at them to slow them down and have casualties in similiar numbers. But the ukrainians have a higher survival rate if heavily injured. Last december I read in the newspaper an interview with an former us special forces soldier who trains ukrainian rekrutes and he told that they have only a few weeks to train the soldiers because ukrainien forces have problems to replace them because the fighting grinds both armies down.
  14. I have just had one experience were I mixed them both once. I took 3g of very potent golden teachers and halb a tab lsd. The previous shrooms I tried were far less potent so I thought to add half a tab lsd and was taken aback from the unexpected strength of the trip. As I remember the were two peaks and first I was yawning from the shrooms and then came the high body load from lsd. The visuals weren't that great for me and everything their texture was like plastique.
  15. Hello, I'm writing here because I need some advice and inspiration. Also to write here a little bit about me because I'm intent to be more involved in the personal developement and dating section and it's better to write my troubles somewhere if people need some context and I hopefully won't need to repeat myself too much. I also think talking a bit about my situation for relieve and other opinions also plays a part. I'm 33 years old and I have several issues I'm working on at the same time. First is I've had an accident 4 years ago where I was on the brink of dying and got a crazy near death experience. I shattered my feet, broke my neck and elbow and spent 11 months in a wheel chair and more than 2 years and 7 operations to fix my feet to the point where I can almost live a mostly normal live. It was really tough because I increased my feet situation bit by bit, from 1/2 mile a day walking to 3,4 over years. The only thing I can't do is jump or run or hike or stand more than 4-5 hours without pause, which isn't that big of an issue. But it is expected that I will need a few more operations because some parts in my feet aren't functioning and are causing arthrosis. But when that will happen, I don't know... might be next year or in 7-8 year. But as you might assume that got me really traumatized and I got more ptsd as I already had. But I made a lot of progress over the years and processed in therapy a lot of childhood of childhood and early adulthood trauma. I survived a shooting where my father was killed when I was 8 and when I was 19 at a party my drug addicted cousin tried to stab me because I tackled him when he went mad on speed and tried to hurt people. After that I had constant arousal and axiety attackes and didn't even know that I had ptsd. I worked for a while as lab technician, then I went to night school and made up for my degree as the 4th best to get access to university and started to study biomolecular engineering but in the first semester had to abort because of the accident. So until april or so last year things had improved considerably. I was able to do sports again like juggling in an artistic meet up, did regularly kriya yoga, spent sometimes some days and nights in a buddhist monastry, bike riding, swimming etc and was socialising a lot and just talking to people and approaching girls and dancing a little. I also restarted university but this time process engineering because this one I can do in parttime. I also set my diet right. It also looks as if I could stop taking medics and start a part time job by the end of the year. The only thing that bothered me was the nightmare of being chased and killed me and sleep paralysis which both occured in phases and I've got some resistence to falling asleep. So what happened 8 months ago was that my therapist who was exceptionally good concluded the sesions after two years because she changed location and does only private sessions from then on During the end it also looked like as if I wouldn't need more therapy because I was quite stable and my life good and I lived in the now and was quite happy and my consciousness was expanding. But I under estimated which stabilizing part she played to calm me down and reminded me to be loving and that everything was quite well and that I had to check the facts so I don't worry so much. Then I tried hypnosis with binaural beats and it fucked my brain waves up and triggered my ptsd. That caused me to not sleeping a few days which caused more stress and more tension and put me more in survival mode and that went so far that I hadn't slept for 2 weeks and got a panick attack that I'd get a psychosis from that and I was for a big time in survival mode. But also from hypnosis I never got to sleep, only to a trance and that went on the whole summer and I got really depressed and restarted unhealthy coping mechanisms because I was for a big part in automatic mode and got hooked up on sleeping pills which didn't worked after some time. So I thought I could do some holiday in a remote buddhist monastry and there I hurt my knee on a stair and since then I've got both knees inflamed and haven't been able to be active again and can only walk small distances and I'm not able to stand for longer periods. The doctors said that it will heal on it's own probably but it might take another 6-12 months probably and I have to do physical therapy and if that doesn't work an operation comes in consideration. But this is very taxing because I can't do a lot of things and I'm de facto disabled again and when my knees hurt more I my ptsd gets triggered which brings me in to survival mode. But in spite of that and the tiredness I still go to university and do that because I like it and it gives me meaning and structure, even though I'd be more fulfilling to do something where I could be more of service. So right now my sleep got better and I have only one or 2 sleepless nights a week on everage and even sometimes I sleep my 7 or 8 hours (mostly 5-6h) Maybe you guys have an idea what might help me to calm down and get me some stability and bring my sleep in order. Right now I don't take sleeping pills but some medication that's supposed to make me tired but doesn't because of the arousal they don't work properly. Sometimes I feel that I don't do enough and feel bad about it or I feel extremely stressed out because so much doesn't go according to my plans and I can't relax. It's hard to accept that and the lot I've drawn in the lottery of life. It also sucks to have lost contact to love and being in pain and being trapped in a very dense unaware ego state. My plan is to get a new therapist and process some of the emotions because in trauma mode I lose access to them and they accumulate over time put me under pressure. What do you think? should I just settle for a mediocre therapist and get not so good therapy but better then none or look for a good one, which might take longer? Or is it better to talk to depressed friends because they understand my situation better or look for new people? I'm afraid that my depressed and hopeless vibe turns other people of. As they say the vibe attracts the tribe. I'm also considering taking a few times a medium dose of psychedelics to process some emotions and to reintegrate some parts so that the pressure is lessened. A week ago I had a test and it went better as I expected and I was able to relax for 4 days and sleep better and learn productively. I know that I have to take care and assess each time.