I can’t unsee the survival mode in everything

[en-el hak]

Lately, I’ve been noticing that everything humans do — from 9 to 5 working, creating art, identifying with ideologies, engaging with spirituality or even searching for the Truth — can be traced back to a drive for survival. Even the pursuit of meaning feels like a subtler version of staying alive (of course, it’s impossible to deny the influence of Leo and Actualized.org on all this)

This realization brings a sense of emptiness. I see people acting mostly out of self-preservation, even when it’s disguised as love, loyalty, creativity, or spirituality. It can feel disheartening — as if everything is just a refined way of coping with being mortal.

But then, something interrupts this bleakness: my 7-month-old daughter.
In rare, fleeting moments — when I’m simply with her, not doing or planning or analyzing — I feel a raw kind of presence. Sometimes it’s a heavy sense of responsibility, sometimes an almost sacred awe at how eagerly she engages with the world.

These moments don’t 'solve' the existential questions, but they create a space where meaning doesn’t have to be constructed — it’s just there. In her gaze, her curiosity, her being. And yet, I still don’t know what to hold on to in the end. All these questions I keep asking eventually lead me back to a sense of futility.
 

[Leo Gura]

Survival takes place within Being. So if you stop long enough to look underneath all the survival what you see is the underlying Being, which is Consciousness for its own sake.

Spirituality is about seeing the Being underneath all the unconscious survival.

Emptiness just means free of survival.

Edited May 25 by Leo Gura

[Miguel1]

@en-el hak Well articulated. I’m totally with you.

On top of that, I have not mastered physical survival.

And on top of that, my personality craves for deep, authentic, emotional connections with people - but most people are just unconscious survival machines. Even the so-called spiritual people. Especially them.

No wonder no one does the work, the existential pain is too much.

[koops]

3 hours ago, en-el hak said:

Lately, I’ve been noticing that everything humans do — from 9 to 5 working, creating art, identifying with ideologies, engaging with spirituality or even searching for the Truth — can be traced back to a drive for survival. Even the pursuit of meaning feels like a subtler version of staying alive (of course, it’s impossible to deny the influence of Leo and Actualized.org on all this)

This realization brings a sense of emptiness. I see people acting mostly out of self-preservation, even when it’s disguised as love, loyalty, creativity, or spirituality. It can feel disheartening — as if everything is just a refined way of coping with being mortal.

But then, something interrupts this bleakness: my 7-month-old daughter.
In rare, fleeting moments — when I’m simply with her, not doing or planning or analyzing — I feel a raw kind of presence. Sometimes it’s a heavy sense of responsibility, sometimes an almost sacred awe at how eagerly she engages with the world.

These moments don’t 'solve' the existential questions, but they create a space where meaning doesn’t have to be constructed — it’s just there. In her gaze, her curiosity, her being. And yet, I still don’t know what to hold on to in the end. All these questions I keep asking eventually lead me back to a sense of futility.
 

Beautifully said.

That feeling of emptiness and that deeper understanding seem to be steps in the right direction.

I feel that the integration of that emptiness (+love) is the way forward.

Also, seeing the mundane (survival) as divine. Being able to make peace with survival and not framing it as bad. Reaching the point of loving even the 'bad'.

 

 

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

4 hours ago, en-el hak said:

But then, something interrupts this bleakness: my 7-month-old daughter.
In rare, fleeting moments — when I’m simply with her, not doing or planning or analyzing — I feel a raw kind of presence. Sometimes it’s a heavy sense of responsibility, sometimes an almost sacred awe at how eagerly she engages with the world.

These moments don’t 'solve' the existential questions, but they create a space where meaning doesn’t have to be constructed — it’s just there. In her gaze, her curiosity, her being. And yet, I still don’t know what to hold on to in the end. All these questions I keep asking eventually lead me back to a sense of futility.
 

This is beautiful. 

This is love, validity. No needing to be 'useful' to anyone. Beholden to the moment.

Pure and valid and eternal just as you are

[Salvijus]

You surviving is part of what God wants you to do. You surviving plays an important role in His will. You're meant survive, and you're meant to do something useful with that life. Maybe rise a beautiful daughter. Don’t be ashamed of fulfilling God's will. It's the most fulfilling thing you can do. 

[Salvijus]

self serving activity is not evil. The goal is not to eliminate self serving activity. The goal is to expand your sense of self to include everything. So that your self serving activity would become for the good of everything. God is a Self serving entity. Be like God. Be Self serving. 

Edited May 26 by Salvijus

[Schizophonia]

Yes everything we do without any exception is linked to survival.

Edited May 26 by Schizophonia

[Breakingthewall]

@en-el hak

Agreed, at some point you realize that almost everything human is about survival. But then you realize there are values above survival, values for which you would give your life. The promise to a son, or to a true friend, reverberates into eternity. It's better to die than to break them; this life is short compared to eternity. It's beautiful to go beyond survival.

[gettoefl]

To a materialist I am living to die tomorrow. (I ever more painfully wait.)

To a spiritualist, I am dying to live tomorrow. (I simply can't wait.)

Edited May 26 by gettoefl