I don’t feel like there’s a reason for me writing this

[Salvijus]

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I feel I have different ways I’d like to go

i would either like to have a normal ego like others have. 
 

Or id like to have full dissolution. What could be negative when there’s no ego there? 
 

or id like to, maybe this is the ideal one, self realize beyond the ego. So seeing that the ego is illusion.

It's actually true that the state of emptiness can feel really dry, lifeless and passionless. That's why I hesitate to completely dismiss your case, haha. If we assume that's indeed what you're going through, then the only solution would be to activate the feminine side of enlightenment, the heart center, the creative energy that fills you with passion for life. Like the opposite of masculine immobile Zen emptiness. On the contrary, the heart energy is very dynamic. When you have both, you become super enlightened. Maybe that's you.

Edited May 7 by Salvijus

[Schizophonia]

You have the right to complain. 

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia omg that’s so sweet of you

[Sugarcoat]

10 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

It's actually true that the state of emptiness can feel really dry, lifeless and passionless. That's why I hesitate to completely dismiss your case, haha. If we assume that's indeed what you're going through, then the only solution would be to activate the feminine side of enlightenment, the heart center, the creative energy that fills you with passion for life. Like the opposite of masculine immobile Zen emptiness. On the contrary, the heart energy is very dynamic. When you have both, you become super enlightened. Maybe that's you.

Hahah thanks.

 

As I said I’m not in COMPLETE emptiness 

Because I still have a, what I would call, a “subtle” ego left. 
 

But it is like im close to emptiness. 
 

Rupert spira has said there’s two steps to enlightenment. First you awaken to yourself as nothingness, empty awareness, but it’s still separate from the rest, then the nothingness merges with everything and it’s no longer empty it’s full. So maybe you’re onto something 

Edited May 7 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

@Schizophonia omg that’s so sweet of you

; ) 

 

This is normal in a situation like this.

 

24 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

It's actually true that the state of emptiness can feel really dry, lifeless and passionless. That's why I hesitate to completely dismiss your case, haha. If we assume that's indeed what you're going through, then the only solution would be to activate the feminine side of enlightenment, the heart center, the creative energy that fills you with passion for life. Like the opposite of masculine immobile Zen emptiness. On the contrary, the heart energy is very dynamic. When you have both, you become super enlightened. Maybe that's you.

Why do you say passion is feminin ? 

[Salvijus]

4 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

Why do you say passion is feminin ? 

Masculine holds the space, feminine dances inside of it. If you identify with the emptiness, you experience primordial peace. If you identify with the feminine, you experience an ecstatic dance of creation. Life is both. 

No idea if that answers the question. 

[Rishabh R]

@Sugarcoat That is a sign of a symptoms of depression. Basically there are two ways heal it : 

1st way is hope or future looking perspective.

2nd way is acceptance of negative emotions when you feel down or disconnected.

I hope it helps you.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Rishabh R said:

@Sugarcoat That is a sign of a symptoms of depression. Basically there are two ways heal it : 

1st way is hope or future looking perspective.

2nd way is acceptance of negative emotions when you feel down or disconnected.

I hope it helps you.

I try to change my mindset into better one it has helped a little bit

[Rishabh R]

@Sugarcoat  You can practice it consistently which will eventually make you feel more better over a long period of time.

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Rishabh R said:

@Sugarcoat  You can practice it consistently which will eventually make you feel more better over a long period of time.

Yea I’ll try. And see if the suicidal thoughts win at last 

[Max1993]

@Sugarcoat I go this weekly campfire event called "Medicine Theater" really warm vibes with good friends. Groups are a must. There is a mental health crisis among men especially. A broken piece cannot fix itself. 

[Yimpa]

55 minutes ago, Max1993 said:

@Sugarcoat I go this weekly campfire event called "Medicine Theater" really warm vibes with good friends. Groups are a must. There is a mental health crisis among men especially. A broken piece cannot fix itself. 

 

[Sugarcoat]

20 hours ago, Max1993 said:

@Sugarcoat I go this weekly campfire event called "Medicine Theater" really warm vibes with good friends. Groups are a must. There is a mental health crisis among men especially. A broken piece cannot fix itself. 

Sounds good

[PurpleTree]

Maybe it’s side effects of the medication mixed with depression and the dissolvement of the structure of self.

Those meds are pretty strong and pretty sure low libido for example is listed as a side effect.

[Sugarcoat]

18 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

Maybe it’s side effects of the medication mixed with depression and the dissolvement of the structure of self.

Those meds are pretty strong and pretty sure low libido for example is listed as a side effect.

Yea you have a point 

[integral]

@Sugarcoat you should not feel like this unless there's something wrong biologically, or do you have some nihilistic issues that you feel like everything is meaningless?

Loss of libido is not normal at all it's a huge sign of a massive hormonal problem.

It doesn't matter how enlightened someone becomes they do not lose interest in porn or sex or anything like that. None of this is "more spiritual" because someone has reached enlightenment. No libido is not "more spiritual".

Healthy body equals healthy libido

Edited May 15 by integral

[integral]

On 5/7/2025 at 10:20 AM, Sugarcoat said:

disconnected from myself

What does this mean?

[Sugarcoat]

5 hours ago, integral said:

@Sugarcoat you should not feel like this unless there's something wrong biologically, or do you have some nihilistic issues that you feel like everything is meaningless?

Loss of libido is not normal at all it's a huge sign of a massive hormonal problem.

It doesn't matter how enlightened someone becomes they do not lose interest in porn or sex or anything like that. None of this is "more spiritual" because someone has reached enlightenment. No libido is not "more spiritual".

Healthy body equals healthy libido

I have healthy body. I eat healthy for the most part, exercise a little bit. Have no diseases. 
 

I can sometimes feel like things are stripped of meaning . But it’s not quite nihilism. I have pretty much no drive in life, no reason behind doing almost anything 
 

I have zero libido when im awake yes…

Healthy mind too equals healthy libido, not just body. I feel a severe disconnect from myself, almost like I barely exist, which is causing my issues. It sounds weird but it’s due to too much thinning of the ego. So it’s like I lost big parts of my normal self, so I’m disconnected from myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my reality. 

Edited May 15 by Sugarcoat

[integral]

@Sugarcoat you don’t have a healthy body. I’m not talking about this superficially, there’s something wrong and you don’t know what it is and no doctors gonna be able to diagnose you.

Your experience is not normal at all and none of it is in your head, you’re not gonna suddenly wake up one day and something clicks, and suddenly your libido comes back, that’s not how this works cause it’s not in your head.

this is not in your head. I don’t know how else to explain this.

You have to go down the path of extensive self experimentation to figure out what is wrong with your body.

You could be allergic to laundry detergent… you could’ve high Mercury levels you could be highly super deficient in iron. You might have zero vitamin D left.

Normal doctors cannot fix this. You have to take your health into your own hands and solve it.

That means going to people that have a complete understanding of the body and doing a wide range of test.

Your body slowly failed in a way you don’t understand yet, and that caused your mind to change and to disconnect. The body came first not the mind.

No amount of depression or psychological perspective changing will cause someone’s libido to go to zero, it is a super primitive thing like eating or sleeping, the body simply does it.

I’ve seen plenty of people come on this site with this exact issue and you’re not gonna solve it by thinking you’re way out of it.

This isn’t about reading a book or one day you’re gonna have this grand epiphany and you’ll snap out of it and be normal again, that’s never gonna happen because it’s not in your head. 

Edited May 15 by integral

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I can sometimes feel like things are stripped of meaning

In the absolute it is.

Concept of self is a construction relative and modular in time.

1 hour ago, integral said:

@Sugarcoat you don’t have a healthy body. I’m not talking about this superficially, there’s something wrong and you don’t know what it is and no doctors gonna be able to diagnose you.

Your experience is not normal at all and none of it is in your head, you’re not gonna suddenly wake up one day and something clicks, and suddenly your libido comes back, that’s not how this works cause it’s not in your head.

this is not in your head. I don’t know how else to explain this.

You have to go down the path of extensive self experimentation to figure out what is wrong with your body.

You could be allergic to laundry detergent… you could’ve high Mercury levels you could be highly super deficient in iron. You might have zero vitamin D left.

Normal doctors cannot fix this. You have to take your health into your own hands and solve it.

That means going to people that have a complete understanding of the body and doing a wide range of test.

Your body slowly failed in a way you don’t understand yet, and that caused your mind to change and to disconnect. The body came first not the mind.

No amount of depression or psychological perspective changing will cause someone’s libido to go to zero, it is a super primitive thing like eating or sleeping, the body simply does it.

I’ve seen plenty of people come on this site with this exact issue and you’re not gonna solve it by thinking you’re way out of it.

I've had two to three sleepless nights a week for almost three years and sometimes still have trouble sleeping if I've consumed caffeine or am stressed. I was extremely stressed throughout my youth, I took steroids for sport, had eating disorders...
But I've never had this kind of "crash."; actually fatigue affects my appetite more than my libido.

It's complex.

Quote

This isn’t about reading a book or one day you’re gonna have this grand epiphany and you’ll snap out of it and be normal again, that’s never gonna happen because it’s not in your head. 

There is no head 👀

Ok jk.

 

Edited May 15 by Schizophonia