Is a life full of suffering well lived?

[Sandhu]

Suffering isn't good or healthy. No one likes it or it's not suffering. If you're asking whether you can be at ease while having any type of suffering or not.

The answer is not simple. You can get use to anything (I've become to being poor). You can manipulate yourself to create meaning out of your suffering. But it doesn't really change how you feel. Ultimately you have to clench your teeth, bear it and work to better your situation. 

[Sandhu]

6 hours ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Suffering is unavoidable. Better suffer for something you value. In that case you feel like the suffering was justified.

You don't choose to suffer. It's God inflicted. That's is suffering.

[bambi]

Suffering is a function of seperation from Life, God and Reality. So the more you suffer the more seperated you are, and the less alive you are. So by definition its not well lived, cos your barely alive.

[Bobby_2021]

1 hour ago, bambi said:

Suffering is a function of seperation from Life, God and Reality. So the more you suffer the more seperated you are, and the less alive you are. So by definition its not well lived, cos your barely alive.

I used to think like this, but anymore. 

3 hours ago, Sandhu said:

You don't choose to suffer. It's God inflicted. That's is suffering.

True.

[Reciprocality]

How does it work that when you are not well making vague assertions about "life itself" being this or that way helps you?

We suffer because something is wrong with our body, our self-identity, mind or situation in general or because we are not able to figure out what is wrong in the first place or because we do not have discipline enough to enact the solution.

I have learned discipline and integrity, I do not fool myself into thinking that I love myself or love anything if my actions do not tell that story. It is not a vague idea of life in general but instead my past actions that tells me what suffering is.

[Yimpa]

Wow, every number on the scale has been chosen!

[Bobby_2021]

26 minutes ago, Reciprocality said:

We suffer because something is wrong with our body, our self-identity, mind or situation in general or because we are not able to figure out what is wrong in the first place or because we do not have discipline enough to enact the solution

I used to think this way for a long time. But when you try to engineer your life to perfection, the suffering only increases and not the other way around. 

Understanding suffering is so counterintuitive.

Suffering is like understanding itself. You can experience it. But you cannot put your words around it to a mould.

[Chadders]

@Bobby_2021 with maturity, experience and spiritual development I have grown to value my suffering more. I see it as the universe is trying to tell me something or push me to make a change when life gets too convenient

[Sandhu]

Suffering is when you're helpless about a situation and you can't avoid it by any mean.

[hyruga]

Some sufferings are created in your own mind. You need to go through many experiences or understand about life more!

I struggle at work through the minor and major stuff. Well, sometimes you have to look at the positives, sometimes you just have to do the work.

[Bobby_2021]

5 hours ago, Sandhu said:

Suffering is when you're helpless about a situation and you can't avoid it by any mean.

There are many different degrees and types of suffering.

I don't think anyone has ever outgrown suffering. Everyone is to a degree, helpless with life. The more I try to engineer life to perfection, the more I suffer.

I was looking for a framework to contain the suffering or better manage it. To eliminate it is a fools game that is guaranteed to backfire.

[BlueOak]

On 4/10/2024 at 4:10 PM, Ulax said:

I think going through a period of serious suffering can provide a level of depth and humility to a person. However, if it goes on too long then the value really fades.

Yes, that is my experience from watching those people I see suffer.

After the trauma, cause, event, or trigger, I see two things.

Often, giving up something is required to stop suffering or heal, a belief, a pattern, or an emotion, sometimes we are willing, sometimes not. 
Developing an understanding of why that person suffered can become a priority to them, so they don't experience it again and can help others.

I also see some of us, return to the pattern that causes it, out of familiarity and a skewed understanding of 'that's how the world is' or 'that's how I am', and remain there potentially all their lives. Obviously the suffering they experience is not just contained to them, it influences everything in life.

[Bobby_2021]

When it comes to suffering, there is certain level of tolerance that each individual is capable of, and you would not be able to tolerate the same level of suffering or stress when it comes to everything.

1. Suffer for the things you value. 

When a mother gives birth to a baby after suffering through immense pain, she forgets all of it because it was all worth it for her baby got to live and experience life. This will also help you suffer like a super conductor. More resistance leads to more suffering.

By choosing to suffer for the things you value, you can experience it wholly and get out of as fast as possible without making it worse. 

2. Find out what you are willing to suffer for. 

You cannot find this by thinking. Find what you value by doing. What were those things that made you suffer a lot, but you thought as finally worth it? 

You can choose that as your suffering instead of suffering bullshit. 

3. Your tolerance of suffering is deeply tied down to your genetics and your circumstances. 

You have to design your life with genetics & circumstances in life and stop comparing with others since you are unique. But take lessons from others whenever possible. Learning from the mistakes of others is the best way to not suffer like crazy.

4. Suffer a lot in a small period of time.

Avoid chronic suffering. You should be able to get a break. This is way more preferable compared to suffering immensely for long periods of time which is detrimental to your psyche. 

Manage your suffering in blocks. This also gives much more predictability to the suffering which will help you deal with it better. You will also value the time when you are not suffering deeper since you are aware of the alternative. At the same time, when you are suffering, you can be confident that this will all be over soon. So you can be proactive and be in control as much as possible.

5. Never try to eliminate suffering from your life.

It will end up causing more suffering. Try it and see for yourself. You will wreck your psyche faster than how state controlled communist markets crumbled. Do not try to control the suffering. Tame it.  

Managing the suffering and stress in your life requires a lot of maturity and prudence. 

Whatever you do, suffering is unavoidable. But it is not worth glorifying or celebrating nor does it have inherent value. It all depends on how you manage it and come out of the other way. Either you will end up being better or end up miserable and depressed since you weren't able to handle it. 

Edited April 12 by Bobby_2021

[Schizophonia]

Does anyone here simply admit they don't know?

[Bobby_2021]

17 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Does anyone here simply admit they don't know?

What's a life well lived?

[Schizophonia]

33 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

What's a life well lived?

How could I know? 🤔

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

It would probably not be a singular number, but a range of numbers. I'm not sure if most people will ever get close to a 10, as most people would've probably killed themselves at that point, so it also kind of depends on how you define a 10, or rather on how far you want to stretch this scale, as you could take it infinitely far. Like how would you even compare watching your mom get raped vs being stuck in the worst trip you've experienced for an eternity?

I think that it's something that can't be assessed outside of a retrospect. Sometimes bad things happen and they end up making you stronger. Sometimes seemingly good things happen and they end up creating some of the worst consequences and the most suffering for you. Imagine fulfilling all your dreams in life, but then everything goes wrong and you loose it all. You might answer this question differently based on the stage you are at during all of that.

So whether a life of suffering is a well lived, depends on what YOU do/are capable of doing with that suffering. It could serve as a solid foundation for a beautiful life, but it also could represent the rottenness of your foundation, which keeps bringing everything you try to build back down.

Edited April 12 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[matoriii]

@Bobby_2021 Listen man ... Great seeing you ask this question , suffering is one of the best things that can happen to you because its supposed to be that way . Its in the books .

So here u go i was playing basketball as a kid and developed a huge attachment to it cause it was the only source of love i was getting (all the love you think you get comes from you to yourself) i was bullied in school also was a people pleaser cause of my father and this was like a obssesion to me cause i was trying to become good enough through beeing successful i was never in control people would always get to me with insults and all . BUT I NEVER GAVE UP its honestly crazy how i dont have a break on any things and you see in that time instead of that ball i could of been dead if i got to use drugs or ended up falling in love w sum else . Its gods will . So to continue i was trying everyday trainning more than anyone in my team and was worse than them everytime i went out there it seemed like it was forced and just couldnt score or do anything but u see when it goes to outside the practice i was the most skilled kid there was hidden gem as you call it . 

So after many cries to my home after hours and hours of watching videos and workouts , AFTER SO MUCH SUFFERING i got it . 

It all led me to here where i am today . It was all about trying to control uncontolable and needing stuff to go certain way so i feel good about myself which is the same as you try to get validation and be liked by somebody IT NEVER WORKS ... it was never outside of me i was the source of the emotion i was the one that was scared to fail cause i decided my worth of of succes which i could not control it was all the time my validation not outsides it was all the time my fear not the thing it self . 

And you kinda ask whats the point i can learn this on here or read it somewhere . But you see after getting everything i wanted and becoming tottaly diff person and doing everything i was scared of it was not the things ... you cant become good enough .... it was all the time your judgment 

AND now i want to force myself to have unconditional worth and control these emotions of mine which i managed to do before , but i stopped playing i stopped beeing open to suffering and now nothing makes sense . All the knowladge that clicked seems vague now without that SUFFERING which forced me to learn everything i did 

So when people say life is a maze and every desire leads to god (yourself) .... its indeed true .

[Lila9]

What is suffering? 

 

 

[Sandhu]

1 hour ago, Lila9 said:

What is suffering? 

 

 

Undergoing high degree of physical or psychological or emotional pain usually for an extended period of time.