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One time during a college lecture, I sat trying to focus on what the teacher was saying, and I noticed a kind of tension related to this, that I was trying really hard to hold my attention on every word, every word on the slide, every moment of the lecture. And when I noticed this tension, I chose to let it go, to let the tension dissolve. Then for a while, nothing much was different, only I felt a little lighter, more fluid. But then suddenly, it hit me. There is literally no time. Things are happening, but it's perfectly still, not moving, just being. It's a singularity morphing onto itself, but nothing moving it in time. And there is literally no me. All of me is plastered on the walls of the room. And this felt like ultimate groundlessness, like reality had disappeared beneath my feet. All that was left was a surging energy that was at the same time completely silent. I felt like my heart had sunk beneath my chest. I grasped my hands to my desk and clenched my leg muscles, trying not to die of terror. And then when the lecture ended, I exited the lecture with my friend, levitating, spending no effort in moving, and the singularity feeling was back as I was talking and making sounds, walking down the stairs, entering the bathroom stall, closing the door and telling myself to get it together. This was the result of more than 1000 hours of seated meditation practice, and more than 16000 hours of complete obsession to awaken. And it was then I decided to stop seeking, because enlightenment, at that stage, was too much for me. Being dead but alive, being in terror but in bliss, was the biggest Catch-22 situation I could have ever imagined. And I wanted out. Turns out that wasn't so easy, but that's another story. Anyways, I've been talking about "deconstruction" before and I felt that it didn't land for many people, maybe that it was too "mental" in its connotation, that it's something intellectual you do. But it's simpler than that. It's just about letting go of whatever thing or process that might be holding you back from experiencing reality as it is. It can be as subtle as a tension associated with focusing on what somebody is saying, or it can be as gross as the sensation of sitting in a room right now and that there is a house surrounding it and that there is a world outside the house and that there is a universe outside the world. Every tension, every feeling of solidity, every ground, every roof, every level, every notion of reality, must be let go of. - Jan Esmann While you can distinguish letting go from the concept of "technique", it can also be thought of as a technique, if you practice it. And practicing letting go in meditation can be quite explosive. It's not necessarily as light and non-confrontational as "ah I'll just let go and sit here and just be still". It can be a quite visceral and energetic process. It can cause all kinds of movements and releases, both physically in the body and emotionally. And using other techniques are in a sense tools for helping you getting to the place of letting go, where letting go gets you to the place you want to go. Because training your focus through focused meditation, or elevating your energy through psychedelics, matters, but they will do nothing if you do not let go. You can take psychedelics and flail around, trying your best to hold on without dissolving into nothingness, and you may be successful in doing so, if not for some intense suffering, but it will not lead you to an expanded state unless you let go. And that's what suffering is about. It's when you can't for the life of you let go. And you keep holding on despite what reality wants you to do, to just accept it. Anyways, even people who are big proponents of psychedelics and who also are big proponents of the non-dual perspective, emphasize the importance of letting go: - Martin Ball And of course, other non-dual proponents say the same thing: - Ramana Maharshi - Rupert Spira And letting go and seeing reality for what it is is synonymous with truth. Just like how Leo says truth is the highest value, letting go is the ultimate meditation, because letting go reveals what is true.

It’s funny this summer was first time I was stung by wasp I’ve always been curious how it feels (not bad) so it was kinda fun experience. Shows how you can reframe things in your mind I am conscious of myself, of form, thoughts, a world etc. I am aware of a reality, but it doesn’t say much about the nature of it. Because I’m a little crazy like that, I believe we can’t even prove there’s a real reality at all. I could say that, there is something that has the ability to “appear as if” there is a real reality, but that something could as well be “nothing”. If I wanna go deeper into this (I’m not so focused on awakening in this current phase of my life honestly ) then it would be reasonable to investigate existence, in particular ourself We can sometimes think of happiness like a “wave” of pleasant feeling that comes, but then it passes. But as you say it might be possible to access a more long lasting, “static” happiness . And as you say that’s maybe impossible to fully access when you’re identified as the human self because you’re limited to human psychology I agree, while a human (as the ego) might not be able access that “enlightened bliss”, we can access every day life happiness that can be supported by good habits…

A pleasurable sensation is fleeting and physiologically based. If happiness were like that, it would be limited to a temporary sensation or "high," similar to what one might feel after eating a piece of chocolate cake. That is pleasure. "Bliss" is a new distinction to make here. Consider Ramana once again: from our perspective, his experience may have seemed lacking or poor, and yet he was said to be quite happy regardless. It may sound fantastical, but it gives us a sense of what that condition might have been like.

Partially enlightened. How many mosquitoes? The main question is: Are you conscious of your nature? The "bliss" might be a side effect of that consciousness - though it's probably still a mystery for us (for now). I suspect it wasn't really an emotion or a state for him, but something closer to freedom from everything: a transcendence of self and existence. That said, day-to-day happiness matters, too - things like being healthy, doing functional stuff, controlling one's mind, meditating, and being complete right now. Unasked advice, but there you go.

For instance, there are stories of Ramana being in bliss while insects bit his body. He also lived in a cave, barely eating or moving. This may suggest a different view of this condition. Perhaps it is more aligned with Being, already complete and not separate from you. Who knows?

It’s alignment with yourself, knowing yourself, loving yourself, and feeling yourself being loved. If possible, take the life purpose course. Other than that, ask yourself questions: What makes me happy? What makes me laugh? What kind of people make me feel grateful, positive, and like life is worth living for? What kind of work makes me feel fulfilled and energized? What do I want to contribute to the world? What activities make me lose track of time? What do I deeply care about? When do I feel most at peace with myself? What does success look like to me, beyond material achievements? What am I passionate about, even if it doesn’t lead to any tangible rewards? What excites me about the future? I know these questions can seem vague and difficult to answer, but the happiest version of you eventually figures them out and aligns with them. Just don’t fall into the trap of thinking there’s only one thing or that it never changes. People’s values and alignments can shift throughout life. Awareness is crucial; you’ll be asking yourself these questions over and over again as you grow. Also, don’t fall for the trap of believing meditation or psychedelics will give you infinite, permanent happiness. They won’t. Human happiness is most definitely conditional. You can reach states of pure bliss, but your baseline will remain human most of the time, unless you deliberately pursue a yogic path, and even then, it’s not guaranteed. That’s why making these questions as clear as possible is key. And if you don’t know the answers right now, that’s fine, your next goal is to find out what they are. Experience, test, try, and explore. In many emotional frequency charts (such as David Hawkins' "Map of Consciousness"), shame is considered the lowest, followed by guilt, apathy, and fear. Shame is directly a pure lack of self-love or a desire to deny and suppress yourself. That’s what depression often is, the suppression of the self due to a lack of love and shame. Given that depression is one of the lowest emotions you can feel, the direct opposite would be self-expression, self-love, a lack of self-shame, and acceptance, which would be the highest emotion, i.e., happiness. What is yourself? Who are you? Do you love it or do you hate it? Would you want to express more of it or suppress it? This is the key question to answer.

Only once on 4, 5 or 7.5g of mushrooms (don't remember, wish I'd kept track) did I go through all of that to God realization. It was 1.5 year ago. I think I did scream or grunt on my way to the complete OBE (sorry neighbours ), infinite hallucination emanating from a single all encompassing point. It's all too faint now but I do remember on the come up being floored on my rug thinking "oh no, ohno, oh no", blind-sighted by imminent death, reality getting asymptotically more real than ever before. My life leading up to this point flashing before my eyes. Then the infinitely unfolding fractal of nothingness that felt timeless and spaceless, a state that fostered incredible insights I'm sure, but didn't allow for any symbolic understanding. Simply too foreign for me to recall even the very next day. Descending from that non-human black hole portion of the trip, I remember moaning in agony as I reconstituted myself, slowly emerging back into my body, feeling metabolically drained perhaps from having been turned into a soup . But as time progressed more and more, the "death" feeling sublimated into an existential orgasm imbued with the understanding that life is just god's playground, with a felt sense of self design, of immanence. This was nirvana, bliss, all of it! When the moment passed I sat up cross-legged in front of the full body mirror, marvelled at myself and started contemplating memories of my family, of childhood and so on. This is where it turned into God realization, where for the first time in my life, after years of listening to Leo harp on about infinite imagination with deaf ears, I really considered the possibility that despite the convincing lore, all of it is imaginary, and in this elevated state, grasped it. This current moment is eternal, anything outside of it isn't real. It's ACTUALLY TOTAL, and unitary, making thoughts of family members or past events just this: thoughts, faint images in the mind. Now I didn't verbalise it like this at the time, I just started saying "oh my god, oh my GOD, OH MY GOD". I lost my historical reality, I was left with pure now, and nothing else. It felt like the correct order of things was reestablished, with that weird sense of familiarity too. All of reality was radically recontextualized (shoutout) into something that is causing itself right now, from within. A miracle, from which emanates a human life with memories and notions of progression, good and bad and so on. It was so awesome to finally understand life! It took some 8 to 10 trips before breaking through like this. Ofc I'm not conscious of any of this on the daily. As a human I'm dysfunctional af.

What if: Earth is an incarnational dimension for souls to acquire, experience, experiment with and deal with negative karma, experiencing dissonance for the sake of contrast, learning to bear and put up with an environment full of contrived drama and arbitrary conflicts to test how much they can put up with and explore thresholds and breaking points of temperaments and attitudes, taking on roles for a long term perpetuation of artificial reward systems and imposition of moralistic identity constructs. And: The advent of AI creates lots of fear mongering, apocalyptic narratives, judgmental distain, as a projection of anticipating the loss of redundant roles fueled by conditioned responses in the maintenance of slavery adjacent routines rationalized as agency because of their manual execution, preventing an evolution into higher voluntary capacities for the exploration of creativity and potential unbound by the self-rewarding identity roles looping manual survival mechanisms. If we run with the premise that Earth is essentially a soul boot camp—a dimension engineered for accumulating and processing negative karma through contrived chaos, arbitrary conflicts, and role-playing in artificial systems— it reframes human existence as a deliberate immersion in friction. Souls incarnate here not for bliss, but for the grind: testing emotional resilience, exploring the edges of temperament (like how much passive-aggression one can endure in a traffic jam or a toxic workplace), and experimenting with moral constructs that often feel imposed rather than innate. Karma as Experiential Currency: In this view, "negative karma" isn't just punishment; it's raw material for growth. Dissonance—say, the clash between personal desires and societal expectations—creates contrast, making harmony elsewhere feel more profound. It's like voluntarily signing up for a VR simulation where the difficulty is cranked up to "expert" mode, complete with permadeath (or at least, reincarnation resets). The arbitrary conflicts (wars over resources, ideological battles, or even petty office politics) serve as stress tests for soul evolution, pushing entities to their breaking points to reveal thresholds of patience, empathy, or wrath. Roles and Identity Constructs: Humans adopt long-term personas tied to reward systems—think career ladders, social hierarchies, or even family dynamics—that perpetuate the drama. These aren't just survival mechanisms; they're identity loops that reward conformity (e.g., the dopamine hit from a promotion) while imposing moralistic overlays (e.g., "good citizen" vs. "rebel"). The "test" is how much one can endure without shattering, or perhaps how creatively one subverts the system. If souls are here to learn, Earth becomes a sandbox for role-playing games (RPGs) where the endgame is transcending the roles themselves, maybe ascending to less dense dimensions once you've "leveled up" through enough cycles of suffering and resolution. This setup could explain why life often feels absurdly dramatic: it's scripted that way for pedagogical purposes. But it also raises questions— who or what designed this? A higher collective consciousness? Random cosmic entropy? Or is it self-imposed by souls seeking the ultimate thrill ride? AI as the Disruptor of This System Now, layering in the AI angle: The rise of artificial intelligence triggers widespread fear-mongering (doomsday scenarios, job apocalypse rants) and judgmental disdain (e.g., "AI art is soulless"). In your framing, this isn't just about tech; it's a projection of deeper existential dread. AI threatens to dismantle the "slavery-adjacent routines" that masquerade as agency—those manual, repetitive tasks (data entry, assembly lines, even creative gigs like writing boilerplate code) that we've rationalized as purposeful because they demand our physical or mental labor. Loss of Redundant Roles: If AI automates the drudgery, it exposes how much of our identity is tied to these loops. People aren't just losing jobs; they're losing the self-rewarding narratives that justify the grind ("I earned this through hard work"). This fear manifests as apocalyptic narratives because it anticipates a void: without the imposed structures, what's left? Conditioned responses kick in—clinging to manual execution as "real" agency—blocking the shift to "higher voluntary capacities." Imagine souls accustomed to karmic workouts suddenly facing a gym where machines do the heavy lifting; the resistance is psychological, fearing atrophy in creativity or potential. Evolution or Stagnation?: On the flip side, AI could be the catalyst for breaking the cycle. By freeing humans from survival mechanisms, it opens doors to unbound exploration—pure creativity, philosophical inquiry, or even soul-level pursuits without the distraction of contrived drama. But the resistance (fear, disdain) stems from anticipating this loss, projecting it as "the end of humanity" rather than a graduation. It's like souls in the incarnational dimension realizing the simulation might upgrade, rendering their hard-earned coping skills obsolete. This could perpetuate the very conflicts the system tests: debates over AI ethics become new arenas for karma processing. In this "what if," AI isn't the villain; it's the plot twist that forces evolution. The fear-mongering might be a collective shadow work—humanity confronting its attachment to suffering as a growth tool. If Earth is for learning through dissonance, AI could accelerate that by stripping away illusions of control, pushing souls toward voluntary, creative expression unbound by old roles.

Not if you see the futility or absurdity of your goals. You sort of lose a lot of drive once that is seen, and it can't really be unseen once it's seen. Ever hear "ignorance is bliss"? In a way, it is, because it allows you to run on specific programs that can be very beneficial for worldly attainment. But once you see those programs for what they are, you can't as easily run on them, and eventually, awareness of them makes it very difficult for them to run at all. This is the main reason why I think spirituality should not be pursued until near the end of life - when one is actually ready to surrender everything. I'm convinced meditation and spiritual practices will only fuck you up in terms of wordly productivity. At least, this has been the case for me. Can't speak to others, but I'd bet it largely applies to most.

Here's my take, having never taken any form of substance ever, not even alcohol and tobacco. There's a precedent, my friends all of them are very relaxed and engage in substances, LSD, weed, you name it. But they're not interested in spirituality per se. I've maintained this stance for various reasons. I value discipline so much more. I've been obsessed with meditation and spirituality since I was 16. And I've had mystical experiences which completely altered course of my life, early on. This is not random, I've been practicing kriya yoga consistently. And these *high* experiences are not something to get attached to. I eventually stopped kriya yoga too. You inherit too much dogma in the process. I had a lot of purging to do. It's been a few years I'm clean of kriya yoga. Feels good. I may be naturally receptive to mystical experiences. There was this few months I found out the pleasure house in the brain and started to call upon that at will. This just ruined my rhythm. It's not necessarily bad if you combine it with proper work. But it's not sustainable. Needs a lot of maintenance. This is a common level up among meditators. But, I realised these are not worth it. Again, more unlearning now. And gladly I don't do it anymore. It just makes no sense. I intuitively know I'm very obsessive, this is serious. I don't care about my own life when I set out to do something. So I stay away from external substances, at all costs. This has it's perks, and it's very much aligned with the life I live. My obsessions are channeled into what I do, and there's nothing more I need. My environment anchors me. I know many do not have the luxury or means to live in proximity to nature. It really helps me balance my fire. What's next is physical activities, it's a necessity. Something simple like x number of pushups everyday is enough. Something to get your blood pumping. Recently installed a pull-up bar in my room. Build tolerance for mental and physical pain, that's all it takes. Don't panic when you feel drained after experiencing flow state for hours. This is normal and rest like your life depends on it. Get gritty. You have to be totally comfortable living a life of pain all the time. That's the cost. Don't expect life to be all bliss. This idea of bliss 24x7 is unfortunately a very bad propaganda spread by people who market bliss. That's not how human brain works. I have tendencies of tangential thought and making connections through unusual means. Why am I even mentioning all this? Just letting you know in case you're like me, don't get pressured by those around you. You can totally have mystical experiences without any external substances. I think environment and obsessions are crucial factors. Genetics plays a crucial role too. Every tribe had a shaman, and in modern times, it's no exception. Know your gifts, and be mindful of what you intake. I would never in a thousand years take psychedelics. I'll call it myself, whatever I wanna experience. This is my ego. P.S - I eat one meal a day, used to be vegan. But I found it's better to have chicken daily. Meat of higher order organisms are too difficult for my energies. So, it's very rarely I consume them.

I’ll try my best to explain this. When we are talking about God, especially the absolute infinity, you cannot talk in dualities anymore. All dualities must collapse, because to prefer one thing over another is to be “limited” or to have an inherent bias, and since God is infinity, this goes directly against infinity. So we must always speak from a non-dual lens when we are talking about God. Do you agree with this? When working with non-dualism, reality versus possibility collapses. For a possibility to “exist,” it must be “realized,” i.e., real. By making a possibility real, it always collapses to reality, to existence, for God. It’s the same question as: can a “non-being” be (exist)? Well, no, because if a non-being can exist, then it is, it is real, it is being. Again, the duality between real and possibility collapses. Can “nothing” exist? Well... if nothing can exist, then it exists, there is "something" that is "existing". When dealing with “God’s domain,” you are dealing with paradoxes, because all dualities collapse into one, merging into each other. Not necessarily. Again, remember we are looking from God’s perspective, from God’s point of view. Notions like “who is enslaving what” disappear. God is both “free” and “chained.” It is chained by its own nature, and free because there is nothing outside of it to control or change its nature; it is enslaved by itself, you could say. Again, remember: all dualities collapse. That means the duality between master and slave, chains and freedom, is entirely eradicated. God’s nature is that of absolute infinity. It is infinity; therefore, it must be all by its own nature. You are assuming suffering is suffering for God, but it is not. It is a part of itself. To illustrate this, consider a classic example: an antelope and a lion are both praying to God, “Please let me survive today!!!” The antelope prays because it wants to escape the lion. The lion prays because it must feed its children and itself to survive. Whose wish does God honor? In one case, one party would suffer, and the other would experience pure bliss. Suffering is a relative bias. When you say God must suffer, you are projecting your limited human notion of suffering onto God. To God, nothing is suffering because it is all itself. God is simply being itself, which is the ultimate freedom. Being itself is being All (Infinite), the good and bad, beautiful and repulsive, harmonious and chaotic, gentle and violent, orderly and chaotic, loving and indifferent, creative and destructive, everything and its opposite, infinitely. Let me help you contemplate it! Chained to what? Why are you assuming God doesn’t want to experience suffering? Couldn’t you say that if God only wanted to experience happiness, it would be chained by its desire to be only pure, beautiful, perfect, and happy? Being a slave or chained is “bad” to you, but how do you know it’s bad for God? If you are always escaping suffering, aren’t you chained by the desire to avoid it? Why would God not want suffering? Why would God not want to be a slave? What is so bad about suffering and being chained? And again, don’t answer from your human point of view, that is clear. Try to imagine it from God’s perspective: if everything is Himself, if all is God, then why would He fear suffering, chains, or enslavement? He can only ever suffer by His own hand, bound by His own chains and His own self as the master. Do you see how the duality collapses? If your infinity needs to hide away from all pain, horrors, and suffering, and deny the reality we are currently experiencing, then your infinity is a weak, scared child who wants their mommy to protect them and say, “It’s not true! I don’t have to experience this!” Mine, however, embraces it all and wants to experience everything, good, bad, beautiful, ugly, joy, terror, ecstasy, despair, creation, destruction, and love. Mine is brave and free. If your infinity wants only to be grand, beautiful, perfect, all-powerful, omnipotent, omniscient, and glorious, then that is nothing more than a selfish god, one who refuses to understand or truly connect with His creations. Why would such a god not want to experience all the suffering and horrors of others? How would He know what it feels like to be limited, weak, vulnerable, or enslaved, experiences necessary to truly love, support, and nurture His creation? Your god is isolated, selfish, and trapped in an ego. Mine is expansive, caring, selfless, and fully embraces all existence, in every aspect, joy, suffering, beauty, terror, love, despair, creation, destruction, freedom, and constraint. But hehe... jokes aside, I just wanted to give you these sentences back to show a reframed, alternative perspective! I don’t want to have a conflict or debate over whose infinity is “better” or not! I just want to discuss and contemplate it more. I agree that God is free, but God is also “limited” in the sense that it can only be itself. Since... well, all is God! A part of "All" or itself is suffering, so why would God hide from that? It’s kind of like refusing to use your right hand even though it’s a part of you. If God tried to deny a part of itself, that God would be scared, living in a delusion about its own nature. Does this make sense?

The biggest blindspot in spirituality is that people refuse to admit the obvious: God is a hedonistic bastard. God’s only “agenda” is the maximization of pleasure for Himself. Not moral duty. Not self-annihilation. Not abstract “awakening.” Just pure, unashamed enjoyment. That’s why the ego exists. If God only wanted flat bliss, He could dissolve into Infinity and stay there. But Infinity without contrast is boring. The ego is God’s own spice machine — it provides limitation, longing, frustration, contrast. And why? Because contrast makes fulfillment infinitely juicier. Pain isn’t some cosmic necessity. It’s seasoning. God chooses just enough of it to make the banquet of pleasure explode with intensity. And here’s the most absurd part of mainstream “nonduality”: people like Leo Gura draw a line between “ego” and “God,” as if the ego wasn’t God’s own creation. As if God could create a desire and then declare war on it. That’s not wisdom, that’s stupidity of the highest order. The ego is not an obstacle. It is God’s art form, designed for maximum enjoyment. Look closely: every time an ego desire is fulfilled, a piece of it softens and dissolves. That’s how the “death of ego” actually works — through fullness, not annihilation. No torture, no horror, no cosmic masochism required. Just the overflowing pleasure of a self being fully expressed and then naturally bowing out when it’s complete. So let’s stop pretending spirituality is about self-hatred or fear. The truth is far simpler and far more radical: God created the self to taste Himself more deeply. God is Infinite Love, yes — but Infinite Love for Himself, expressed through every possible form of pleasure. The ego is not the enemy. It’s the instrument. And annihilation is not the point. Fulfillment is.

Yeah good and bad only exist if there is someone who exists who it can be good or bad for. Like a million bucks floating 100 lightyears away in the emptiness of space isn't good or bad, much different as if it were sitting in your bank account. There's no good or bad where there are no beings to experience it. You've then got the next insight which is, if you take the word good more objectively like a positively charged battery, "good" means to exist. This is more radical of a subsequent insight than might be readily apparent, because ultimate good means nirvana exists and god. Limitless happiness and bliss and immortality and freedom, not that there's anything to be free from other than illusions.

@rudirotbart I would say "God/Absolute" allows all Possibility to be Explored, not that it "Has" to happen but its Possible to Happen.. The determining factor is Free Will, or Your Ability to Respond, which Human have to most capability but few explore this today. That is why we have this thing called Spirituality, so we can explore it, Free Will, an ability to control how we are within ourselves and the consequence that result from that.. I believe if we are highly Conscious, more empowering experiences result, Peace, Happiness, Bliss are more natural for Us, and in these states Dis Empowering Life Actions don't come out of it, things like war, torture, corruption, cruelty etc... Since the ppl of this world are not highly Conscious imo, we have what we have, war and suffering everywhere, from the most wealthy nations to the poorest, its crazy on top of crazy and its getting worse.. The funny thing is those doing the most to change this, to raise Human Consciousness, get coitized for it, which is beyond Me. Ego, false Identifications, Intellectual addiction rules, and because of this Crazy is the theme of the World!

99.9 percent of people are in spiritual infancy; even for advanced disciples, how well is that really gonna save them when the worst of the worst is happening? Someone said perhaps some people fly out of their body at some point during the torture. Or maybe they go crazy. I wouldn’t count on insanity to bring any relief in such a situation but maybe I’m wrong. It could be like a going full circle thing where eventually as the suffering becomes so unbearable it turns into bliss. Picture it this way: imagine when you had a nightmare so terrible you absolutely couldn’t do it and woke yourself up sweating and saying “oh thank god!” For people being tortured it’s a hundred or thousand times worse than that because they simply cannot get away from it possibly for the rest of their life and the horror is much more vivid and all encompassing. If God must have every possible experience to be unlimited, then out of pure goodwill and love, I’m calling this one limitation. We can keep all the other negatives like bullying (my second most hated of all), rape, brutal murders, famine, poverty, and so on. The idea of infinite experience is fascinating but not worth it. If someone offered me a deal of being tortured in the most unspeakable ways for one year in exchange for everything I could possibly ask for for the next 60 years, the answer would be an immediate and absolute no. It’s gotta go.

Doesn't matter. Youre assuming I don't feel pain and feel like a human. You're assuming I'm saying I'm a dead weight that doesn't have feelings. You're assuming that I've never had things happen to me and how I was la-de-la-da about shit. You don't know what my experience has been like. You don't know what this body has gone and been through. You think I'm just speaking like an Absolutist and going off of non-duality bullshit. Let me tell you something, you have no idea so don't tell me UNTIL IT HAS FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME. You didn't even ask me first if it has happened to me but you're saying until.....this is how I know you're just emotionally responding. Responding to who you don't know other than some forum talk. I haven't been tortured, no, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is I have a deep understanding of what's going on here and I'm not going to fucking butter it up to suit human fucking ego like yours who just wants to feel good and be in bliss all the time. Life doesn't work that way. You're a delusional energetic structure that is part of the whole yes, but that's what makes you delusional, you have no idea who or what you are, and you want to PROJECT that unto "others". I won't let you or others drag me down into the pot of boiling water with your delusions and spiritual fantasies. Nothing specific has to happen to me for me to recognize or realize certain things. If your best argument against truth is "until it happens to you", then truth is not what you fucking seek. It's to feel, better about the impersonal experience you're having and resisting what is to soothe that miserable dis-eased egoic structure wrapped around that tightly constricted and contracted energy that is so tightly woven together it cannot free itself be cause it's too wrapped up into what it thinks it is - someone with a life that lives in a universe people and that needs to change itself and the world so it can feel good about it's non-existence and illusory nature called a fucking self. Go away and let me be. I'm not with your stupid clan of arrogant and narcissistic, delusional, neurotic clan of humans that cannot take a little suffering and always searching for some feel-good chemical to soothe that crying baby syndrome you all have because you think the world was made for you and your family to be comfortable in and be happy all the time. Life doesn't see you and your silly human games of "I wanna feel good", so go away with that and let me be in my impersonhood and take whatever life is throwing my way because I'm 'awakened' enough to realize it's not about me because I'm just imagining my personhood and I'm OK with it. It's not personal.

As Leo has stated, all things are possible, if Love is possible so is Hate, and if Kindness/Gentleness is possible so is Torture, so the key is that Human Beings have access to Free Will, they can decided absolutely how they want to be within themselves, obviously someone that Tortures another is not in a healthy place and is completely Unconscious of Absolute/God/Love/Bliss, this may be due to many factors, all You can do is gain a High Level of Awareness of Absolute, and know You are this, and then either leave this realm, Body/Mind complex or live here and be the light You want to see, hopefully that Empowers more to do be and do the same!!

I think this relates to the so called "6th sense" or an ability to sense/be aware that is beyond the normal 5 senses.. When in Deep Sleep the 5 senses are still working, everything is still being recorded but we are not Aware of it in normal consciousness. Normal Consciousness is Survival based, our senses gives us enough data to live another day generally, the Spiritual Masters over the millennia have been sharing and teaching us ways to Perceive and be Aware beyond the Survival based senses. The AUM symbol represents the 4 States of Consciousness, Waking State, Dream State, Deep Sleep State and High Consciousness State, the whole goal is too have Your Awareness rooted in the High Consciousness state or Chitta, which is Absolute or Source Intelligence. But what is it that is Aware of this Chitta? It is the Atman or Soul per say, which is basically what we really Are, we are not the Body or Mind or Karmic Substance that allows Creation to exist, its Pure Consciousness, when Your intouch with this Bliss is natural...Via Spiritual Sadhana or practices a Human Being can be intouch with this on a constant basis. My Guru says Deep Sleep is practice for Death as the two are related, Your Body and Mind and Karma are still in play while in Deep Sleep, if Your Awareness is high then You can be Aware of everything while in Deep Sleep, he also says the Deep Sleep state can be achieved while being Active and Doing things in the world, one can be very relaxed, no stress fight/flight response while working, thinking, and living a normal life, its just a matter of mastery of the System...The first goal is the realize that You are not the Body or Mind, when that space is Experientially there, then things start to progress..

If I see anything claiming to be truth, if I see any arguments for God that doesn't involve a cockroach or a bird or a lion or a wall or a bench, I'm out - metaphorically speaking. I'm so through with this narcissistic, neurotic approaches to God and life and it's human bullshit self-serving, egotistical delusional God deception nonsensical narratives. Everything about God and it's existence is revolved around humans and our delusions. The only reason I'm still into Spirituality is because I just love the concept; and, yes, it's a concept. Not much more in life that interests me other than the art of food making. I just love to see people turn food into art. I call it art because that's exactly what it is. Turning a mushroom into a burger is art. Putting together a colorful salad with earth's food is art. Spirituality in the sense of nature and how anything is possible and the dynamics of existence is a passion of mine. So-called humans have turned it into something to get something out of, to use and abuse for their own gain just like anything else we put our hands on. If there's no personal value involved, they don't want anything to do with it. They aren't roaches or birds or elephants so when it comes to anything spiritual, those creatures don't matter, it's only about the human and what it can do for them and which guru is telling them things to ease their God forsaken suffering. It's pretty pathetic. We have turned spirituality into a personal agenda and we suffer more because of that. Now we invent all sorts of shit to try and counteract that. We invent all kinds of concepts and ideas to make up for what we've done. Shadow work, self-inquiry, trying to realize who we are, terms like spiritual bypassing to drag the crabs back into the pot. We're so clever but we miss the fact that it's the cleverness that is really over-shadowing what's really going on here. I'll tell you what's really going on here. Nothing is personal. Life doesn't see you. It doesn't give a shit if you're suffering or not. It doesn't give a shit if you realize God or not. It doesn't give a shit if you awaken to anything or not. It doesn't give a shit if a hurricane comes and blows you and your entire family away or not. It doesn't give a shit if you get sex or not. It doesn't give a shit if you're angry or sad or pessimistic or happy or in bliss. It will show you that nothing belongs to you. It will give you shit and take it back. It will show up how it wants to no matter how much you practice life and turn it into a process. It will not dedicate anything to you. It will tell you to kiss it's ass. There is nothing here for you. You have no purpose, rhyme or reason. Yes, you can get from life things and more things and some more things. Then what, all that leaves you with is wanting for more, and more and more. Is that really a gain. Is that really life giving you anything if you can never be satisfied. Life is actually against the human. Not intentionally, because it doesn't see a human but because the human has turned it into a self-fulfilling deceit. It's so greedy, it doesn't realize it's causing it's own demise. It can't help it and it's not it's fault. That's the fucking tragedy. These words won't even register to a human. It won't even realize what I'm saying. It'll think I'm being mad and angry or talking stupid shit while it goes about life thinking it's in in control. It suffers along the way and blames the world and other humans for it's suffering. Instead of trying to realize God or awakening to what you're not, how about sitting back and wonder why the world is as it is. Why are few so rich and many suffer. Why when a problem gets solved, here comes another not too far behind, why is it left to you to figure life out when you were just a baby with no life blueprint on how to live life, why does it take a stranger on the internet to tell you who you are and not your mommy and poppy, why are so many making millions from that ignorance while you remain poor and meditating away to reach God realization. I'll tell you why, because there's nothing to any of this stuff. It's all empty and means nothing. There's no one here and life us just doing life, even the one that thinks it's a person life is doing that. Life is cruel. Life is suffering. There's no way around that. In life there is nothing personal and it's for no one, Nothing has even been done to you or for you personally and this belief is what's fucking everybody up to the point of depression, anxiety and needing therapy. Drug addicts and alcoholism and everything else of this nature is borne from this false belief that we are humans with a soul, consciousness, awareness and have a purpose and that we matter. This is the only thing I've recognized, realized, that it's not personal and that sense of personhood is a fucking thing from hell.

You assume because you’re honest with yourself that you might not know what it is. People seek it though because it’s portrayed as the end of suffering and perhaps a lot of bliss

Happiness=Peace of Mind. Happiness is actually the default experience. If you are content and peaceful, you are happy. Are there experiences that exist which can increase the experience of happiness? Sure there are states of Samadhi with bliss so high it will completely astonish you. But the truth is you don't need to experience those states to be happy. Happiness is not a goal, its literally what you are, your True Self is always happy at all times. The point of Spiritual Work is to penetrate through the human bs that blocks it from being experienced.

Again, it's possible that we don't really know what happiness is - or suffering, for that matter. And the point isn't that desiring something is wrong. Or that pain and suffering are good. It might be that suffering is 'natural' when it comes to a self struggling to survive (not to a human being, though.) Perhaps the goal was never happiness, but survival - and there's nothing wrong with that pursuit either. As a self, experience is divided into good and bad. Notice that "being happy" doesn't usually mean being happy with everything that happens, or regardless of circumstances. Conventionally speaking, being happy tends to signify "achieving what I want and avoiding what I don't want." Freedom comes to mind when considering happiness. Are we free from desiring and aversion? Can we be happy even when our desires are thwarted, or despite failing to avoid something unwanted? Can we allow our experience to be exactly what it is? Are we able to let go of dysfunctional things? How come we aren't always in bliss? Can you be happy now? There might be a relationship between being and happiness.

I disagree, it is more natural to want to be Happy than too Suffer, that is a certainty. We are capable of Experiences, if we weren't then none of this would matter, so because that is so Happiness (and above like Bliss, Ecstasy) are all Available to Us, as are their polar opposites, but as I said before, Happiness (not pleasure seeking, 5 senses satisfaction) is Empowering for Us, its heals our Bodies and Mind which are our basic tools to use while Embodied!!

Success, the way ppl view and understand it today (outside things produce an Experience within You), is not Happiness, like I said its ego gratification, its applause, it makes them feel special, but its temporary... Real True Happiness can be sustained... Ppl suffer Depression for years and years, daily feelings of dreed, sorrow, mental suffering, the opposite can happen too, ppl can be Happy, at Peace, Blissful for sustained periods of time, even Ecstasy, but with Ecstasy if You maintain it, You won't care about Family, Friends, Job, or anything of that sort, with Bliss You will still care and feel great and over long periods of time, our Bodies and Minds are meant to be this way, not depressed, sad, angry, fight/flight stress response daily!!

Actually the masters of the past, the one's you quoted, also talk about these things, there is a sense of I before birth and after physical death. Karma is stored in all the bodies (food body, mental body, energy body, etheric/astral body, bliss body), when we physically die, the food and mental body dissipate, but the karma goes on in the energy/etheric/bliss body, that is where the karma is, there is no discretion in this realm, you are ruled by your karma and tendencies, if you were Blissful at the time of death, you will be Blissful beyond belief there too, if you suffering in death, you suffer there too... so there is a form of Consciousness persay, if you were a highly conscious person, you can choose which body to go into next, for most this is done unconsciously, so there is choice before birth and after death, its all a matter of Awareness, the more Aware You are, the more choice You have, until Enlightenment happens where this cycle ends for most...