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Attempting to stop thoughts is attempting to re-condition the mind to stop itself from carrying out its function. You can try it, but notice the conflict created and never resolved. It pits the mind against itself, which is a battle, in the end, it will lose. What may be more advantageous is to bring into greater awareness the profound subtleties of mind, which include cerebral thought and emotional feeling. You could do a little research to understand the mechanisms and functions of these basic two aspects (i.e., cerebral brain versus hormonal brain) and how they interact as the mind-body organism and psychological self. It gets interesting. The "nothingness" you speak of is more likely the mind trying to "project nothingness" as a means of attaining something, when in fact, that's just a mind game. Mind is movement within the Nothingness that one already is, the Void (as Zenners call it). Mind wants nothing to do with that; it wants to maintain control, so it is very likely happy to assume that it understands this "nothingness", when in Truth, it can't.

No. Actually it's the contrary in my experience, since with a silent mind, your awareness for all occurring sensations is heightened. Oh but there's no difference between the breeze and nothing If the breeze is, then focus on the breeze. Try not to get too hung up on whatever it is that you call "nothingness".

Does the practice of shutting the mind ("think nothing" technique) mean you silence also your feelings and sensations? Let's say, for example, you are meditating outside when you start feeling a gentle breeze. Should you keep the focus on nothingness or move it to the breeze feelings?

Good, this helps me innerstand you a little more and appreciate your present state. Thanks for sharing. In the OP, you mentioned the following: "I have learned some valuable lessons all this years but some times i feel like is just to much for me. I completely understand why I am imaginary, why everything is just layers and layers and layers of imagination. I “understand” the nature of nothingness ( I grasp it with my whole being ), I understand why reality is nothing but perspective. I see myself most of the time in other people ( their voice, emotions, eyes, expressions, words they choose...) . I understand what love is ( it cured me). I have advanced levels of darkness, if I could call it like that , which have turned into a great artistic hunger?. I have embodied all this stuff. But sometimes I get some sort of backclash / fear about everything, a general terror about everything, dealing with day to day life could be fucking harsh, and everything could go away in an instant..." This leads me to believe you have done quite a bit of introspection, have been involved in a major shift of perspective (perhaps even attempted using a more disruptive approach), and now you want to start using music, a true lifelong love of yours, as a vehicle. Does that sound about right? Music can be used as an outward expression of an inner journey, and journeys are, typically, always about seeking. What you may be seeking could be considered the melody that weaves through the body of your work. That melody, in turn, might work to further harmonize the various aspects of a life you are examining, and making such a life worth living (thank you, Socrates). Some of what you are seeking can be "assumed" from what you have shared, but perhaps it is better if you express that in your own words. I sense that is why you have posted, and that's great. Maybe it's what you "understand" about nature of nothingness, and/or the attempt to grasp it with "your whole being"... not sure. So, here, please clarify.

So basically I want to share my crazy story with u guys, and hopefully you could guide me and give me some advice. I’m a 23 years old guy and I have gone through A LOT of changes in the last 5 years, from being a “successful” musician to a junky with some serious mental health issues, and now a student. I got into Leo’s videos about 2 years ago and since then I followed some of his advice (which of course helped me a lot). My “downfall” began about 4 years ago when I started to go to university (music university) and moved to a big city in my country. I started smoking pot which really was a transition drug for me ( ? classic story) and smoked daily for about 3 years, in about just 1 month after moving I tried for the first time LSD with some friends and I fell in love so hard with this substance ( I had about 10 trips in 2 months after that so I got a little bit experienced right from the start ?), obviously I was more attracted to substances than going to school so I dropped out in the first semester. After that I got ‘addicted’ to MDMA which I think has ruined my brain chemistry for a long time, I have done it consistently for 2 years. Just to mention That I had 0 knowledge and about this substances when I first moved ( my bad? ). After dropping school I started working shitty jobs and i worked till march 2020, but all I was doing in the beginning was paying my rent and buying drugs, it got worse in 2018 / 2019 because I was doing all kinds of dirty stuff to get some more money from my jobs just to buy drugs. I would go fucked up at work and work 12 h shifts 4/5 days a week. In the summer of 2018 the whole situation was killing me, my girlfriend have left to USA the whole summer and my depression got worse, in august I dropped out of my job just to take a brake but all I was doing was getting highly intoxicated. In that month I had about 5 trips of lsd and shrooms and a lot other things like MDMA, amphetamines.. but nothing could changed the way I felt (deeeeeply unsatisfied with myself and very paranoic). The last thing I did was a tab of Nbome ( sold as lsd ) which fucked me up forever, the strongest experience of my life (20+ hours tripping, I ll make a separate post about that) Which have resulted in a violent psychosis that lasted about one year ( I still feel like that sometimes ?). The good thing is that was exactly what I needed, after that I stopped doing anything ( weed, psychedelics, alcohol...) and I was sent completely into my mind, It felt very spiritual everything (although I had a very severe form of psychosis, thinking that I could read other people minds and they could read mine, telepathy, voices inside my head, suicidal tendencies) BUT THE THING THAT SHOOKS ME is that in this whole time I felt like I was guided by some force (obviously me) to save my life. This whole time I felt like I was 2 persons. I was completely down for almost a year and half, but I kept going to work, I started to go to university in October 2019 ( Digital Media ) and started playing again music and composing ( I have a fucking story to tell ??). In m march I moved back with my parents because school is online and I can say I healed a bit, ( I have never gone to therapy because I didn’t want to accept the fact that they would give me drugs beacuse of other drugs I took ? ). I’m pretty stable right now, I have some nice relationships with some very good musicians, I started teaching guitar to make some money and planning on moving again with my girlfriend. I want to mention that this is the first time I share my story with anyone so I’m a little bit nervous. I have learned some valuable lessons all this years but some times i feel like is just to much for me. I completely understand why I am imaginary, why everything is just layers and layers and layers of imagination. I “understand” the nature of nothingness ( I grasp it with my whole being ), I understand why reality is nothing but perspective. I see myself most of the time in other people ( their voice, emotions, eyes, expressions, words they choose...) . I understand what love is ( it cured me). I have advanced levels of darkness, if I could call it like that , which have turned into a great artistic hunger?. I have embodied all this stuff. But sometimes I get some sort of backclash / fear about everything, a general terror about everything, dealing with day to day life could be fucking harsh, and everything could go away in an instant... I have somked weed and had 2 little doses of shrooms recently but I was not feeling ok... maybe the doses were to small. I would fucking love to do some LSD but I feel my mind is still to scattered, and it could turn bad. My biggest ‘fear’ is that I would not go schizophrenic, but it s more an irrational fear because I don’t have symptoms. Thank you guys and Leo!

@Corpus thanks for all good info and advice. very helpful. Yeah.. tell me about.. 5 years ago accidentally overdoes 2cb. I Didn't even know what I was about to snort and asked for the big fat line Experienced the scariest and traumatic experience followed by ego death and merging into the black void. The total piece, nothingness. Completely transformed my life. Not sure if this life-time will be enough to actualise! However, I'm very careful about my trips now. I do them thoughtfully and loveingly.

What is reality like? God, consciousness, awareness, You, are the infinitesimally thin film, with colours constantly shifting around. The bubble show started from nothingness itself; one uniform colour with no structure, that is non-duality, that is nothingness.

I wanted to post a status update for you all. I'm doing a little better. Actually I'm doing pretty well compared to how I was these past couple of days. I decided to watch this youtube video (attached at the bottom; let me know if that's against the rules or something). Summarizing in my own words: it claims you don't exist and that finding nothingness will free you from your thought/ego/suffering. And for whatever reason, its resonating with me. I'm just sitting here doing my best to defocus on nothingness, and my mind / sense of self is quieting. And all my suffering is slowly fading. That being said, the more I think and type the worse I feel. So I think I'm going to take a step back from this forum for a bit and just focus on this new path. I am still curious to hear what you all have to say, so feel free to respond and I'll come back when I'm ready. But until then, I wish the absolute best for all of you. And I mean that, I really do. Lastly I want to let you all know that I had very little faith that this community would help me. I imagined you all being these super high conciousness ego beings who wouldn't give two shits about my sob story. But instead I was shown compassion and support that literally brougt me to tears (and I didn't cry at the end of Toy Story 3). Thank you so very much each and every one of you, I love you, and good night.

He says that realizing God is yet just another stage of awakening, and that we shouldn't stop there and try to go beyond. He says next state is after realizing you are everything and God, you work on realizing you are nothing. Not even nothing. And then dissolve into reality. Then he says even beyond is realizing that reality is beyond being and non-being, beyond perception and non-perception. edit: tho i'd say you if you can do the nothingness thing then you will simultaneously be conscious that you are everything and also nothing. I think he said that in the video as well.

Thank you everyone for your support. I'm crying tears of dread and confusion, but most importantly love for each of you. I can't express my gratitude enough. Hopefully with your guidance I can climb out of my despair. First of all, I can't believe you responded Leo; now it's certain that reality must be my imagination lol. But really, I want you to know that I love you and are absolutely amazing and, even though your videos scare the shit out of me now, you have been the single greatest influence in my spiritual journey. Thank you. And I love you Nihlus, Consilience, Rilles, Breakingthewall, Free Mind, and whoever else offers their help. Thank you so much for your wisdom and compassion. Now that the ooey gooey stuff is out of the way, I would like to clarify some of the great information you've shared with me. This first post will be regarding Leo's response, the following posts addressing the others. However I ultimately know it's my responsibility to get through this, so silence is a perfectly valid answer. Yup my mushroom dose was too high: I wanted to see the truth and got monkey pawed more than I could have ever imagined. That's 100% on me, and now it is my responsibility to deal with the repercussions. This really helps me with understanding why I feel so "bad". Knowing that it's possible to know this reality and still be ok really helps out with my sense of doom / not being ok. And hearing that its the best possible news gives me a sense of hope. I'll try and become aware of ways I can make this imaginary reality meaningful and positive. It's also great to hear that I need to integrate this with my ego. Through my research I was under the assumption that spiritual work / enlightenment is meant to kill off the ego, but now I'm thinking it's more about living in the best way ... imaginable. Or as one of your older videos stated: improve the quality of your consciousness. Some people like their egos, some would rather kill off their egos, and some would like to meditate on nothingness. I need to learn how to accept the seemingly unacceptable, and I'm sure that's going to take a lifetime of work. But I'll do my best. Another message of hope, thank you. I've been trying to separate my experience from the reaction to my experience, but I find that to be extremely difficult. I'll try to become more aware of the stories I'm telling myself about this reality. I'm still trying to figure out how to surrender. I've been reading "Letting Go: the Pathway to Surrender" by David Hawkins and am doing my best to apply his teachings. I'm sure I'll figure it out if I keep trying. The same goes for being present: I'll continue to develop that capability. I'm guessing this means that I experienced something completely overwhelming to my ego, and in an overwhelming time sometimes the best thing to do is surrender fighting/feeling the experience and instead to continue living. As the overwhelm fades, I'll be able to better accept and come to terms with reality, but not when my ego is spasming like a dying spider.

Infinity can expand. Imagine that infinity is nothingness. It’s limited by itself - which is, not at all. There is no limit to how far nothing reaches. As soon as you find the furthest limit you realize there is more beyond it. it’s not already at maximum because if there were a maximum there could be further beyond it.

Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. And I really need help. I am in a horrible place, and I don't know what to do. It feels like complete & infinite existential doom. I'm hoping that someone can act as a guiding hand of light in this time of darkness and despair. Little bit of backstory: I'm 25. I had a great childhood living a life of enjoyment. At age 21 I moved out and got a job for the first time, where I absolutely hated the 9-5 and got spiraled into meaninglessness and depression. I've been battling that ever since and for about a year now have been taking the spiritual route seriously. About 3 weeks ago I decided it was time to try out magic mushrooms to see how that could help me on my journey to self discovery and healing. The "good" part of the trip: oh my god it was amazing. I took 5-6 grams of the mushrooms, and the first thing I felt was lightness and energy. All my fears, worries, and problems melted away. I was floating through my experience full of love and joy. Bliss. The "bad" part of the trip: oh my god it was like nothing I ever experienced. It's like the line between imagination and reality was erased, and my imagination was reality. Reality would seamlessly shift and transform like my imagination would seamlessly shift and transform. For instance: my girlfriend was driving us home and I thought of watching one of Leo's youtube videos and that became my reality. My reality was the awareness of Leos video, and that reality was me. Leo would tell me to wake up and suddenly my reality would shift to pure colors and transform into taking with one of my friends. As I was trying to talk to my friend and tell them I need help because I don't know what's real or who I am, I suddenly KNEW that my friend was me and that there was no need to explain anything to him. That reality would then fractalize and I would travel through infinity and experience infinite cycles of knowing and forgetting the truth. I would then come back to this reality, but this reality was no longer real. I felt complete oneness with my experience and completely alone at the same time: like everything and everyone was merely something I was imagining and that I was the only real thing. Knowing that filled me with complete existential despair. I just wanted to die, but I knew that ceasing to be was impossible, that even if I died in the "real" reality, that "real" reality wasn't even real and wasn't me. That if I tried to kill myself in "real" life, it would merely be me imagining shooting myself in the head and continue shifting and transforming realities. These shifts and transformations in reality occurred for a good 6 hours and I felt completely alone, horrible, and eternally doomed. The aftermath: I was so happy when it ended and I came back into being me. I remembered a little about the trip, but not much. I couldn't understand what I experienced and it felt like I couldn't even remember what it felt like. It completely shook me though, because that sense of aloneness. And I could tell I had a sense of dread in the background. Two weeks later after I felt pretty content and integrated with having that crazy trip, I decided to do a lighter dose of magic mushrooms (about 3.5 grams), and I started feeling like I was losing my grip on reality again. But rather than having another reality bending experience, I instead un-repressed the memory of having my reality bending the first trip and I was able to completely remember what that felt like. Now: I am completely full of existential terror, dread, confusion, and despair. I feel like nothing, including myself, is real and that there is no point of existence. That there is no meaning to a completely imaginary singular reality in this sea of infinite imagined realities. And worst of all: I feel like I am eternal and that I can never end. And oh my god I just want this all to end. I can't handle what I experienced, I can't handle KNOWING that all of this reality is imagined and everyone else is just my imagination. I can't handle knowing that I am the only thing, that I am god, and that I am infinite. I just want it all to end, for me to disappear, but I know that's not possible because on the trip I've already disappeared in this reality. My stomach and heart feel like pits of suffering, and my soul feels like its writhing and exploding in agony. I've been feeling this way for 4 days now trying my best to just feel the feelings, but this dark night of the soul feels like it has no resolution. Its like I've peeled back the veil of reality and seen the truth, and the truth is infinite, alone, and despairing. I can now remember the trip whenever I want, but because I can remember how I felt and what I knew during that trip any notion of who I am and what is real has no ground. Everything feels fake and imaginary and I feel trapped in this hopeless meaningless ride of existence & nothingness. Everyone and everything in my life is just something I am imagining and I'm completely alone. I am in complete hell. The truth is complete hell. I want to end. Watching Leos video about his radical explanation of reality only added to my feeling of doom. This man I looked up to and resonated with just told me that all my greatest fears, and that my existentially dooming reality was all true. I can't handle infinity. I can't handle being god. I can't handle being alone. And nothing I do is pulling me out of these depths. I'm so scared. I'm so unbelievable scared. I've had fears of being eternal since childhood and all I feel is complete doom and despair. I don't know what to do, and I can't cope. I'm so confused and so hurt. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you can help me through the darkest night of my soul. I love you and wish for the best.

Well if you focus on somewhere other than the image in front of you, ofcourse it's gonna blur. And since in your experience, there is nothingness behing your perception. Your vision just blurs and dissolves and no other image comes up. Unlike let's say imagining a red car while eyes open. atleast this is how i see it. I think what you are doing can be a helpful practice tho, just feels like it. edit: Just realized, what you are doing rn is what I do to focus in on the fact that I am awareness which pervades everything Nietz's abyss quote makes sense now lol. edit 2: I am gonna do this too, to focus in on the void! Thank you!

When something appears from nothingness, you call it thinking when it disappears forever into nothingness, you call it forgetfulness And I guess not knowing you're god and all is rather a self-deception than a you forgetting something. It's like the ego has locked a door with deception to the realization, so you have to somehow do stuff to open the door and see what's beyond by unlocking the deception. I think working on a realization is just identifying the deceptions blocking your sight of that realization and eliminating them(well identifying itself eliminates them), either through intense bodily experiences from psychedelics or kriya yoga or other means, or through contemplation and meditation, etc. But you need to identify a path around the obstacles cuz usually you just come back from the realization back into deception out of habit, if you a path back to that realization established, you can go back as much as you want until you are comfortable enough to settle there. This as you know is called integrating your realizations

my ego traps are trying to be someone like Jesus, osho etc. especially after I start to cast out demons and start healing. even though I understood I am the son of God, I create a mental negative identification to become a Messiah like Jesus. Misunderstanding life is nothing. I misunderstood completely that what nothingness is. I renounce life like a monk, instead of living it with passion, love and others postive qualities. most of us don't understand what nothingness is. nothingness is for the ego not for the higher self. the ego will love to cling to something that, there is important thing out there. not taking care of myself. not doing everyday life responsibilities. not eating too much, not keeping hygiene, sleeping, obsessed with only Sprituality. judging and trying to change others. After seeing great changes in me, trying to point people to become like me, not understanding everyone is completely different than me. everyone change itself by its time, desire and need. almost I can say I fall on to more than half of traps listed out there. I wish Leo make a video about it. it is life saving. even the greatest master have fallen in to it. Jesus, budhaa, osho, Martin Luther King, gandhi all the greatest failed in ego traps. I would consider Leo too, especially suggesting the acceptances of phidophile.

Not knowing is the nothingness, knowing is the something, and the something is imaginary. After all, colors, shapes and the bubble are things, they are imaginary they can’t be God. This is obvious. The video is just a psychedelic ego trip, life is about living life correctly (with no fear/desire), and this is the end of the spirituality journey.

The Self!!! The void or nothingness is intelligent and can choose to identify with thoughts, or not. That´s my view at least @Someone here

@Swarnim Yes, it is not my intention with this practice to be awake 24/7. I have seen the nothingness, and I do self inquiry and use the deconstruction of reality with neti-neti in combination. I have a lot of "associations" of objects that I consider a thing. On that I am working too, I am also doing that with every suffering that occures, using shinzen youngs mindfullness methods. Unfortunately I am not aware of all the associations I have. An awakening into the nothingness can help I believe, but I'll exercise mindfullness with what I have now. Unfortunately It is hard to deconstruct every association of "bad pain" that occures, because it doesn't happen really often, and I don't want to deliberately hurt myself. I'll just wait for the suffering to happen, and not cause myself for harm than necessary, because I am more interested in relieving suffering than in truth atm. I have seen the nothingness and had countless awakenings. I want to "stabilise" and fall deeper into enlightenment in the now.

Absolute is nothingness. Everything is nothing as you, therefore everything is you. Because you are nothing. Additionally, you are experiencing this dream now because of experiencing something other than you, therefore you love it. Because when you are nothing, there is just you, just 1. Even understanding these words are love, because these words are you, i am you, wall is you. but loving your mom can be from egoistic perspective, because chair has no differences than your mom.

Key is Completely surrendering the self for any consequence. Because when you completely surrender so called mind will have no place to hold on. Than you start to see illusion more easily and deeply. At that moment process of thoughts, which comes from egoistic self will be a joke. No thoughts will appear from separate self, they will be appear as you, therefore moment becomes more peaceful, silence and love. Nothing will bother you because there is no such a thing that is different than you. Everything appear as you. Than permanent satori comes, so called mind will be gone. Nothingness sits in the moment as the same way you see your dreams. And you become aware that actually you are dreaming now, but real self is here, always here, right now. Because you are here. When you dont think you are the moment. Additionally, when you realize that your birth comes from knowing, if you never learn, you will be never born, and when you not know you are right before birth. There will be no so called mind left.

@JayG84 No. ‘Your phone’ is absolutely infinite being. There is no such things as a screen, language, or words. This is literally infinite being, appearing as, thought to be, a “consistent physical reality”. The nature of infinity has nothing to do with numbers, math, or any thinking at all. Thinking is illusory. You can break your phone down to the thought “phone”, thoughtless perception, and the feeling or sensation of it ‘in your hand’. The thought ‘phone’ is a sound, a vibration, mistaken to be a ‘word’ & ‘meaning’ that was learned and is reapplied when the sound (‘word’) ‘phone’ is heard, via the illusion of self & memory. The thought ‘phone’ is pure magic, appearing from nowhere and disappearing into nothingness, just like ‘perception’ is a vibration, a ‘word’, learned & meaning reapplied, which in actuality appears from nowhere and disappears into nothingness as well. There is no such things as words or perception. Even the experience of the sensation of the touching of the phone is that of electricity, ‘electrons’, ‘fields’, vibration, and never actually a ‘skin’ touching a ‘plastic’. There is, in the most literal sense, nothing. And there is not.

My results: 2 seconds of "nothingness" in total (not God) and merging with the perception of the hand a few times. Been really really grounded. However no eternity, no love, no reality is a dream, no illusion, no me creating reality, no concept shattered etc. I usually dismiss the nothingness really fast, because I had none of the above but I believe this was the nothingness very shortly. (defined by the thinning out of reality and no-self.)

I am just contemplating a little bit, feel free to tell me your POVs. The paradox of free Will. I got that there is no "decider" in the mind. The mind is not the primary thing that makes things happen. The mind can only fight itself, and it does so not because of free will, but because of circumstances outside of it's capacity to manipulate. So then, who/what decides? Religious people would say "the soul". With the realisation that the mind cannot do anything on it's own, not create anything but just react, it needs to be pointed in some general direction. But who/what points it? You guys point my mind into the direction of pointing the mind toward itself, because you realised that paradox, but if reality is not (pre)determined, and there is nothing "I" can do but to react in a way that my entire being didn't decide. I kind of (want to) believe, that the soul, the source, "god" or whatever, that formless thing decides the reality it wants to experience. So the mind has no other choice but to follow/react to "IT". The mind also somehow also seems not to be able to manipulate IT. The ego wants to manipulate the reality while realising the nothingness, but it just doesn't seem to work like that. So basically the mind either feels like a trapped slave, which desperately wants to have things go it's way, or realise the futility of trying to manipulate reality in a metaphysical way and just adapts as good as it can, because anything else would lead to suffering and nothing else. Now how does that change anything? It doesn't that's the best part of the paradox, there is nothing the mind can do to get out of it. Consciously doing the opposite to experience free will, is also an illusion, because without the previous experience of the paradox of free will, it wouldn't have tried to do the opposite, which is a purely reactionary action it takes because of the circumstances. The weird part is, while the mind ceases to try, there is a freedom that arises.

The story that's not a story: Reality/existence is the polarization of infinite interdependent dualities that have no existence in themselves. Every phenomenon itself arises out of another phenomenon that arises out of the first phenomenon timelessly, which is illogical -- they arise together but they don't actually arise at all -- this non-occurrence applies to every level of reality in infinitely interconnected web-like fashion -- nothing stands on its own -- that is voidness. There is no thing called void -- just boundlessness; unlimited inevitableness; unbounded nothingness; freedom -- not even that. Unconditional Love. It's so not-anything, that it isn't even nothing, so you get this appearance -- everything is not-anything.

One of his in his interviews he says that he didn’t think of anything after his last awakening. I dont know it is true or not. I agree. Psychedelics can definitely produce awakening. After consuming 10 gr dried shrooms, i was never back. If he has no thought process how can it affect him? Imo, he has direct experience of nothingness. And in nothingness there is no love there, it is just what you are. Even love is that something that we have learned, but nothing is what really we are, and there is no learning there just being. And We are already it. Additionally, in awakening there is no gaining, just being what you are. You can say you are love, however he has already realize his birth, identity and entire duality was just a thought process. When you are nothing, there is no you to gain anything. He seems already death, has no purpose, gave up and ignore so called life. Yes, i dont know why he still writes or talks. It doesn’t match with what he says and does. Or he does everything without any thinking process, such as when he get a question he answers without thinking or when he goes to refrigerator he just eats something that se is supposed to eat. Just directly. and i dont know it is possible.