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I think most people have this idea of death as floating in infinite black space of nothingness. It's crazy when you realize we are already floating in an infinite space of nothingness, just hallucinating a reality there

Alright this will be one of my final posts, I get generally to many people falsely association with where my development left, as I dove very deep into mathematics, and evolutionary algorithms also under the influence of psychdelics, and I had very high states similar to what Rumis describes what Leo post currently I already went through in my 20's it's very backwards and retrospective, the whole point of realizing actualized.org is at best only a ressource is what the core of this is about, I learn more for myself for 10 years this has been a huge blockade in my development, due to the insanity of the denil of his own corruption, he might help some on the path, but if you're attracted ot my content and viewpoint you must also see how deluded Leo is. I found videos of my ex girlfriend who has similar trauma and a life story, and generally speaking it's a huge coincidence, long story short; it's mostly about the empowerment of the youth, and the issue how egotistical and disgusting people like Leo and the Ex are as there are similarities in their "Tamsic" qualities, and the more I see how conformist they are and act out their performative contradictive shadow at stage green, I can clearly see, how different we are, our understanding on God is different has he steadily focuses on Overmind, and that is to low of a perspective, and imo, Leo is a strong denialists of others spiritual progress and power, and has a very deep envy drive, he has not worked through properly yet, but I did it a lot and saw that in the ex, how hypergamy and status and the worship of humans and the egotistical self-reference are an eternal issues, while I almost deleted my entire life out of devotion to life itself in a meditative state, only for that to approved by one son of a whore called Leo Fick Dich Du Hurensohn. A deep part of my eternal hate rests within your tamasic qualities, at times I don't wish you well for what I go through even if you're right, I am not the type of person who ever needed any word from you just, show me what you read that is enough, I might come back to the perspective, but tbh if I ever meet you on the wrong day, Fick dich du Hurensohn, I fucking hate you for what you are in this life. I utterly hate you for this extrem level of ignorance, your blind to your own existence and what I suspect about you, in the end if it would not be for other larger then life persons such as Ralston or Shinzen having interacted with you, I could not respect someone like you with any sanity, life is to complex, and imo Leo is to dumb and stupid to realize the complexities, being vulnerable around a profit driven stage red Leo Gura etc. some of this takes even if genuient are just for the camera, the more I contemplate his story and words, and how long I trusted the depth & pain and the new audiobooks I consume from more holier people, I can clearly see what a deluded leftist prick son of a whore he is, and I wish you death yes physical death for what happend here, you are one fucking asshole, let alone any nefarious quality I sensed about you. FICK DICH & CEASE You are satanic, by your very essence you're satanic, even if you heal your soul, something about you is still very satanic, the perspective and the work that heals you is good, but in the end the more I am free and can enjoy my life and the complexities of it, I can see what a time waste it is, to have ever trusted this body of work, I had to extract most of it, and Shinzen is right sometimes you just have to take the teachings and run, imo if you follow this guy for to long it will end badly, I am not the first one with this intuition, but there are very deep disgusting manipulative tendencies that make me resent being near such a person, and creates dark thoughts of suicide etc. I don't enjoy this tamsic quality of karma, crocodiles etc. these people are satanic, lethargic and tbh even if they have good will, they are not as pure hearted, they lack psychic vision for their heart, and just feed of life, I could write more, but I will dissect this more privately I am absolutely done with actualized.org, I come to get some ressources, but most of the stuff that I don't post is rehearsed etc. Some of the best members already left or already benefitted more, this is exactly the bullshit that he caused by talking down on Rajas qualities and the whole spectrum of his envious or blind envious character, imo nothing he did not seriously and scientifically tested on himself is good, I share a large part of his worldview in some aspects in the liberal territory, but imo he is massively blind to the history of black people, middle east, and it's not even the history, the guy just lacks the human ground to sense the differences, and acts like this white liberal fucking southern cali garbadge you have to make fun of in a self-ironic take. I am so done with what I have to see within my own family fuck this fake kid, fuck this satanic ex, and their similarities and their narccistic mother with their pride of children etc. There is much more, feel free to ban this fucking account, I am so done with any of his videos, I can come back with tech any time, there is no real to stop me if I really want I can just learn to hack & get the ressources, I already find so much with what I am doing, but I am not that type of character and I value ethics, but just not with these tamasic people, it's the same shit everytime the burden will land on, one of us, and I prefer to lead, and I can't stand people like him leading it just leads to the weirdest and dumbest types of obstruction and there is a lack of vision of progress moving forward, and to little vitality to share that type of energy and move forward, I don't lack this energy, fundamentally this is just a good bye to actualized.org and my efforts to be a member of this community, I've had no positive experience of being in a community if it's not about me to a larger extend or I have a leading or functioning leading role, or a role of autonomey. Let alone the difference of universities and growing-up and the age difference make it more clear to me, on a fundamental level he fucked up teaching, I can't tell the reason besides his own genetics and the whole topic of family & race, which is something I'd rather engage with people where it ressonates, and it makes more sense the stuff I found about history and him might being involved in these ploys just show me how deluded currently the east of europe and russia etc generally is, and I am utterly disgusted by how this is currently unfolding, and it pains me to see the good heart of it being pullted by discusting rats like Putin, I will watch some episodes, and engage with the content in my own way & filtered way to face reality, and not his illusions abour reality and my projections etc. There is a stark difference in character and development between us, and the more information I find the more clearly I can see how this is partially due to my white genetics, but I have to little knowledge & insight into my black d.n.a, I can look at my american family, but many of their own issues and story, a lot with race & identity, due to having a Texan background, as well as the whole "white nazification of tech" and how such liberals contribute with their whole micer paradigm, and lack of abillity to be in communion, they are mostly greening around there is a lack to move from Yellow-Psychic and integrate the lower properly, discluding being a saint. I am reading some very powerful books, I will not mention that just blow apart the whole work of Leo himself, and I am thankful for what he provided insight into the dating field and area, these tamasic type of relationship engaging attracted me due to having an extended 8w9 family, but it's Direct Wealth based, and German it's very different background and these people trusted me a lot, a lot happend, imo we could've prevented Iran, but it's the whole issue with the post-modernism of this site, and lack of integral engagment and just giving people the benfit of the doubt, attacking the wrong people who do the work silently to beginn with and who clear their own doubts, and making it a status game. Holy fuck this website was a status game a few years back, and this is why I see Leo like Trump as he is achievement driven, the issues of exellence and supression or disciminatory behaviour is completely different and mostly due to the intensity of narccicism and Germany scores the highest currently, America seems very different to me, and I have different priviledges, after meeting such people and seeing that they don't truly have a background of friends that is so extremely diverse, imo they miss the quality of LEBEN but as SUPERMIND directly implanted in your soul, which is GOD! God is higher than your shit Overmind, and I am done with anyone who does not adress me with the level of self-respect I feel for myself. Imo your a good human, but your a coward, Fick dich du Hurensohn Leo Gura, that is the first thing that ever came to my mind seeing you. Hurensohn, you can thank Kahzakstan for that, but tbh you lack any variety of experience, just sitting at home with video etc. Buy or fuck a bot or smth. something about you just rubs me the wrong way and I pulled a lot of effort into including that with shadow work, but I am partially done doing clean up for whores who don't even deserve life in my own eyes, and I accidentally deleted my own life in a close to mahasamadhi state, to have a tamasic clown give me shit feedback, just fuck you at times, you're very dumb, and archetypally don't fuck with me I am serious. You are satanic, in contrast to you my soul is already a gift from God, I have meet realized people you have never seen smelled or tasted and I posted them here, you are one ungrateful disgusting black cock loving little water snake and you are one piece of shit I tell you for what I can sense with spiral dynamics you do well, but I am very glad when you are under you own, I still love you in my own twisted way, but your work and influence is inflated imo. I wasted a lot of time not reflecting on myself due to the influence of people like you and imo you cause to many accidents and there is just some esoteric stuff that is more important, and tbh your level of science is absolutely garbadge as philosopher, it's to bad to even consider you equally minded after what I went through, this is a bye forever, I will not post anymore with this account, this is my last post, and I am done with Leo Gura, I just check for ressources and perspectives, as it's the only value it has ever had for me over these years, I blocked this for 10 days or so, that is long enough to block it forever, the guy still has some huge issues with tall black people and just the whole paradigm of "being american" and having lived in Russia, I know such people, there is something about you, that you have to explore with someone who is similar to me, but I tell you it's not me, I hope you find your answers, especially in God, but fuck you are deluded about religion and have 0 ressonance as this whole nobility spectrum makes your eyes clouded, you should seriously experience something different then royal treatment just normal suffering or a 4w3 perspective should pull you to senses, if that does not happen something is wrong, or the 4w3 is corrupted in practicality anyhow, I went quite far, having fked and dated turkish girls, having a lot of middle eastern friends and close friends when smaller, and others I don't think a prick who grew up so privileged understands even the concept of priviledge coming from an american military background, something about your soul even when I hate my father at times, is utterly disgusting and corrupt through your fathers action, while my soul at times screams clean revenge at humans that most likely are like you and your father, idk how he started his buisness why you had no electricty and went broke, but your soul is lost in this tamasic apathy at times, your mind is beautiful but your soul at times, idk. I am not also advoacting for that my soul is super clean etc. but I get a lot of impulses from spirit Intution & Supermind, I am not as overmind control driven as such people, and it's rather annoying dealing with archetypes can also be a waste of time, and I utterly am advised to dismiss it most likely in the way such people dismiss it, I am still looking anyhow for people that resonate with me, and that will change every 2 years in my experience, some stay longer but I have to see anyhow. This is bye bye!!! I am gone thank you for everything, but also fuck you for everything! I still for a large part dislike and hate you, for being a huge distraction putting on these long ass episodes, that at times are more fluff then A.I can provide and the whole perspective of a.i here etc. is just the liberal white underbelly and dissatisfaction, and please stop caring about every issue, I am so done with these snoop noses, acting all good, while having this tamasic body, it's just odd seeing how deluded this energy can be and it's not something I had to face, more randomness and raja types of qualities unrestful people seeking to do good. But the conformity and stereotype people like leo create are dso disgusting it just goes also against many good approaches for health etc. or anything that is just normal, and acceptable moving on with what happens is more intelligent and acts with the principle of not-doing, then this tamasic greed of lust of nothingness. I also had this pyramid thing on forever etc. but tbh, my mind is tainted by what I experienced I don't enjoy posting stuff and I am glad I find so much variety I hope to find more, but I am done and out BYE!!! I hope you forget me, my name and my posts! In the end participating here showed me I wasted my time with my own happiness and joy, facing envious spirits joining in their liberal cause or perception etc. I naturally have a different approach and bias to face, the collective waves of this might come or not, but I also just enjoy the perspective, but in the end we're fundamentally very different I had a lot of god access already as a child and teen, I don't think people like you comprehend true devotion, I would voluntarily delete myself for some holy people I don't think you have that strength of will. I can't see you as a mature spiritual human, so this is bye forever, this will last multiple lifettimes, I am already facing my demons, you don't belong to them, but you are satanic to me in nature. Calling me a devil is a joke, if you'd ever meet my satanic side, it would be quickly over for you, you are a fucking joke and clown. Bye.

I find it interesting and frightening at the same time that there is a possibility of having a sudden intense Awakening experience sober that is equally profound when taking a psychedelic. To be honest, I never thought it would happen to me. Today I woke up from sleeping, at which I had a dream of me living a totally different life for decades. When I suddenly woke up, I couldn't bear the reality that it ended and now I'm in a different reality. The thought of neither one being less real in my mind triggered an Awakening experience which led me to recognize that this reality is a dream through and through. I was swimming in pure NOTHINGNESS and EMPTYNESS for a minute. The distinction between my nightly dreams and waking reality was TOTALLY unimagined. I was left ALONE, because I am DREAMING the dream that everyone is part of. Endlessly Melting! Too profound! The realization that no one has truly awakened or will ever wake up other than myself is truly shocking!

Everything is/has vibration. What is not spiritual? Are 'so called' 'spiritual' perspectives/attitudes a necessary element in the life of an actualizer? I don't think it has to be. But often is and more often than not, becomes a stumbling block that some never get past or integrated. Spiritual materialism, Zen devil characteristics, false humility, self-righteous narrow mindedness. Every one of these descriptions triggers an associated realization labeling me as guilty. I view everyone else as being my equal, if not worse, in regard to various kinds of self-deception. Being identified with whatever it might be. Worldview, gender views, loyalty to family, the results of childhood cultural conditioning, etc. Actualizing human potentials that are connected more with survival and materialistic aims do not require one to move into the more abstract, philosophical, psycho-spiritual areas. Or however you want to name it. In my view, the psychological aspects such as integration and individuation are really at the heart of reaching an area beyond the built-in flaws that are a part of all human beings born today which also vary in aspects and degrees depending on race, subculture, that kind of thing,,,. I've avoided joining more advanced work groups like those of the Almaas Ridwhan school or Ken Wilbers' Integral community. Being on the fringe of some Gurdjieff groups or at times being a student of some of the different lineages seems to satisfy me for the time being. It was taught to me by one Fourth Way Teacher. "One has to make the Work your own" once it has moved into one's inner world in certain way. Maurice Nicoll- INNER TALKING III “In this Work you cannot go far with pleasing self-made pictures of your own nobility or value. When you begin to observe yourself deeply enough, these pictures, these fantasies, begin to change. You know that you yourself are just as bad or worse than the other person. Then I am quite sure from my own experience that a great deal of your inner talking will stop. You do not seek to justify yourself.” V. 2, p. 776 RESPONSIBILITY FOR NEGATIVE STATES “If you are in a negative state, it is always your own fault, from the Work point of view. No matter what happened, what someone said, what someone did, we have to become responsible for our negative states—ourselves. . .When you feel the presence of negative emotions in you, as a foreign substance, as acutely as a stomach-ache, then youwill seek, for your own reasons, to work on yourself and transform your inner state for your own inner health...But this takes many years and requires a certain inner courage, an inner bravery, an inner determination, until something new is born distinct from life.” V. 2, p. 695 ON ‘NOT FIXING’ “As long as you externally consider another person with a view to trying to change him or her—that is, as long as you think the other person should be different—you are not externally considering, but internally considering. The basis of internal considering is that others should be different, and from this comes ‘making accounts’ against others...One thing is quite certain, and that is that the more sincerely we observe ourselves and what is in us, the less smug we shall be. And from this it follows that we shall be less satisfied to think that we know what the other person should be like.” V. 1, pp. 268-9 THE FEELING OF NOTHINGNESS “When the Work says that a man must come to realize his own nothingness before he can be re-born, it does not mean that he must humble himself and so on, but that he must by long self-observation actually begin to realize that he is nothing and that there is no such person as himself. The object of this is to get into a position, psychologically speaking, between the opposites...Why is it so important to get somewhere into the centre of the pendulum and not swing to and fro? Because here, between the opposites, lie all the possibilities of growth. Here influences from higher levels can reach us. Here, in this place where one can feel one’s own nothingness (and where one is therefore free from contradictions), influences and meanings coming from higher centres, which have no contradictions, can be felt. Not regarding yourself as good or bad, not priding yourself on being just or otherwise, not thinking you are well-treated or badly-treated, not being caught by either movement through identifying, you come into this mid-position. This is not easy! With personality active, it is impossible.” V. 1, p. 329

4-HO-MET/Metocin Trip Report - September 3 2026 This was my first time trying this substance. For those who don't know, it's a mushroom analogue, like a cross between 2C-B and mushrooms. It's supposed to be more gentle than mushrooms, but not quite as gentle as 2C-B. This substance is fucking incredible. 2C-B is my favourite psychedelic. I LOVE the neon, digital, alien feeling of it, and the visuals on 2C-B are so beautiful. This substance is quite similar. It feels clean, smooth, digital, but in a different way than 2C-B. It has the same head buzz that mushrooms give you. The smoothness of it kind of reminds me of penis envy mushrooms, but it is more digital feeling, like 2C-B. You know the feeling of mint toothpaste in your mouth, how refreshing and cool it is? This substance made my whole body feel like that. It was a really interesting feeling. Even though I didn't get much experience with AL-LAD by itself the day before, just seeing how its visuals morphed with 2C-B, the visuals are more strange, chaotic and weird than beautiful (at least from that one experience). With 4-HO-MET, the mint toothpaste coolness sort of carries over psychologically and in the visuals. The visuals feel clean, smooth, digital and beautiful, like 2C-B but in a different way. It's sort of like an apple laptop - clean, smooth, elegant, digital. This substance is known to make music sound really good, and oh my god it definitely does. Early in the trip I became really cold, and I couldn't warm myself up, so I took a warm shower and then a bath, with the lights off, and I played this song the whole time. This song is fucking amazing, it sounded SO good on this substance. So the substance itself is beautiful, and I love it, but the trip itself was really fucking painful. Not because of the substance, but just because of what divine intelligence put me through to progress me towards fana. At the start of the trip, some of the physical sensations felt good, and it was quite relaxing with the music and when I took a shower, but at the same time I felt really antsy and tense, like I couldn't let go and enjoy it and I was just uncomfortable. I was also just really cold for a lot of the time. Even when I took a hot shower, it helped, but I was still kind of cold in some way, and heating myself more just made me nauseous. Then I went back to my room and laid in bed. By the way, I do all of my trips at night. I took this substance at about 11pm on September 3rd, I added more to my dose a couple times, and it wasn't over until about 8am. When I laid in bed, it felt good and helped with the tension and antsy-ness I was feeling, but then I started to become really nausious. Heavy nausea is something I've experienced quite a lot in my trips over the past few months. I heard that a lot of fear is stored in the stomach, so heavy nausea on these trips is a form of releasing fear and helping me get deeper into surrender. So I started to become nauseous, and it got really fucking bad. It went on for hours, and at times it got SO fucking painful. I only vomited once, but most of the time I was just sitting in this really painful nausea that wouldn't go away. There was also a lot of emotional pain. I started thinking about something in my life that hurts me a lot, that I am constantly dealing with/thinking about, and it hurt like a motherfucker here. It was so bad, I had to really try to not think about it, but I kept coming back to it. It was so bad at times that it made me want to cry. There was also just general emotional pain. I don't really know how to describe it, I guess some kind of strong fear and discomfort, I had to really try to breathe and be patient. It takes a lot of willpower to not resist it and start freaking out. I can do it for a bit, but the longer it goes on for, the harder it gets to not resist it. At some point I remember I started thinking about society and the world, about how humans started out as cavemen, hunters and gatherers, and over time they built this entire society, with different cultures, money, businesses, schools, people have jobs to teach and educate the youth, people grow old, they have services dedicated to helping all different types of people (kids, old people, etc). Everything is so interconnected and developed, and there are so many different kinds of people, and facets of human life. All of it was so interesting to think about. Again, it took on this clean, technical type of feeling and that's what made it feel so interesting. There was one point around 3am where I started to fall asleep, maybe for about 30 minutes, and when I woke up, I had NO IDEA who I was. Insane ego dissolution that I've never experienced before. On top of that, reality, like what I was seeing, feeling, hearing, etc., it did not feel real at all. It was like it didn't exist, and I was just experiencing nothingness and absolute Truth. It was so bizarre. After that I was still nauseous, still rolling around in my bed in a lot of pain, in all the ways I described above. I think I fell asleep around 5 or 6am, and then I woke up around 8am, and thank God the trip was pretty much done at that point. There was also a point a few hours before this where I started listening to this song, and it was incredibly beautiful as well. It made me feel like I was a baby being held, it was so soothing. I started laughing a lot at times on this trip like I did in my trip the day before. It was mostly at the thought of certain youtube videos and memes that I like, but at one point I started gently caressing my teeth with my tongue, and it felt really good, and then I had the thought "what if I asked someone: do you have teeth? do you have a tongue?" it's really weird in retrospect, but it made me laugh a lot when I thought about that. There's this term I came up with in high school with my friend. About jerking off, meat beating - meatamus beatamus. I thought about that and it made me laugh so hard lol. I wanted to sit up and watch some of the youtube videos that make me laugh, but I was so fucking nauseous that I just couldn't do it. So yeah, most of that trip was really fucking painful, but the substance itself is so beautiful. It really does feel like a cross between mushrooms and 2C-B. Less aggressive than mushrooms, more digital feeling like 2C-B. I love it. It's definitely up there with 2C-B as one of my favourites. That trip was so deep, the ego dissolution I felt later in the trip was so strong, there is no way that fana is far away after a trip like that. Even though it was really painful and I'm glad it's done, that trip was incredible.

It has been some time since I last did psychedelics, but lately I have watched some YouTube videos and read some books about solipsism. So I have been pondering a bit about what it all means. 1. When it comes to solipsism, do I understand this correctly that In this moment, while I am writing this text and I am conscious and aware of my sensory experience and existence itself, my experience is the only thing that exists? Is my experience the only thing that actually exists in this particular moment? And since God is infinite, is it that the experience that "I" am having right now contains everything that could ever be, even though it seems finite from my perspective? Because if the experience wasnt infinite and didnt contain everything, god would be limited. And because of this, there could not be any other experiences happening at this exact moment when I am having this conscious experience and perspective, because that would imply that there is something beyond God, who is limitless? And the opposite: if we are all the same god, then when you are reading this text inside your subjective awareness, that mean that your experience is now the only experience playing out, while "mine" perspecitve is no longer happening, and I only exist as part of your experience and imagination? 2. If God is unlimited, is it possible for God to reincarnate from nothingness into a separate form in other ways than through a "physical reality" like ours? For example, could God reincarnate as a spiritual being in a "universe" without any physical laws, simply existing in some kind of ether? Could reincarnation happen in places where there arent any physical dimensions, but where there are still phenomena? Could God reincarnate in ways that we are not even capable of imagining from because of our limited form within our reality? 3. What could happen when we begin integrating electronics into our brains and potentially become able to connect ourselves directly to one another? Would it be possible to merge separate conscious experiences into one experience, and in some sense experience God from multiple peoples perspectives at the same time? Could we also create new kinds of new electronic sensors in our bodies, giving us access to forms of sensory input beyond the senses we currently have? Could it be possible to create sensory and in any way make it possible to interact with other and "new" phenomena like maybe dark matter. That we could change the way we interact with the reality we are in right now?

I think this framing misunderstands the level of detachment that's happening for someone who is actually on a path of transcendence. It's not about "going against your desires." That's more of a repression and "fighting with your humanity to maintain a spiritual identity and worldview" thing. It's about fundamentally seeing through the illusion of the character you're playing and the entire reality that you exist within as that character. It's realizing that you're a character in a story. And that character will never transcend the confines of that character... including the desires, needs, limitations, and attachments that come with that character. Instead, it's about realizing the entire book that you character exists in was always a falsehood... and even your desire to transcend your wants and needs is part of that story and is used to build and reinforce that story. When my story was thrown into the fire, revealing that the Emerald character and the entire reality she existed in was an illusion... I realized there was no version where Emerald would ever be enlightened, even if she became enlightened within the story. In the same way that Gandalf is written to be Gandalf... his enlightenment is fundamentally false, as Gandalf isn't real. It's just part of the story. The same is true of the Emerald character. She dissolved along with the entire existence she lived in. And there was pure nothingness. But Emerald never become enlightened... she ceased to exist. Then, the nothingness eventually reconstituted the Emerald story and avatar because that's what it preferred. And that's when Emerald the character stopped trying to be anything other than an ordinary human with all the ordinary human patterns, needs, and desires. So, I don't want to re-attach myself to the previous strivings to be desire-less... as all of that was just extra stuff in the Emerald story. And it wasn't even fun. Instead of being like Bruce Wayne trying his damndest to be Batman and transcend his ordinary humanity... I'd much rather be Superman performing the most convincing Clark Kent disguise that he can muster.

One of the most widely misunderstood terms in all of spirituality is the Buddhist notion of "shunyata", which is commonly translated as or at least closely associated with words like emptiness, voidness, groundlessness, nothingness and no-self (which is also known as "anatta"). It is often (mis)interpreted as a kind of nihilistic denial of any inherent substance or meaning of reality; but once you become directly conscious of what it actually points to, you realize that it simply means the following: There is no particular way that reality is. Shunyata points to the fact that there is no such thing as a specific definable ultimate truth that can be fully cognized, conceptualized and communicated through language; it therefore implies that all definitions (aka. conceptual limitations) of reality are nothing but relative perspectives which are partially true at best and downright delusional at worst. Simply put: Whatever you say about reality isn't it - and also it is, but so is the opposite of whatever you are saying. (Of course, the irony here is that the statement "all perspectives are relative" is itself a relative perspective; this is why Nagarjuna, the famous founder of the Madhyamaka school of Buddhist philosophy, pointed out that "even emptiness itself is empty" and therefore cannot be absolutized.) So while shunyata should not be mistaken for an affirmation of existential nihilism (which erroneously tries to attach absolute meaning and validity to the relative concept of meaninglessness), it certainly refutes the notion of a concrete ground or essence of reality that you somehow safely "land on" upon enlightenment. Assuming the existence of such a specific definable essence is in fact a rather clear-cut logical fallacy, since it assumes the existence of something which is both absolute and definable. The simple fact of the matter is that the absolute (= undefinable) essence or nature of reality cannot be different from (all of) reality itself, as should be obvious to anyone who is capable of and genuinely open to coherent (meta)logical reasoning. (Note: When you say that Being is the essence of reality, then that is NOT a definition. Being does not and cannot have an opposite since it is all that there is, meaning that it must include and transcend all possible opposites such as form/formlessness, time/timelessness, oneness/multiplicity, nothing/everything etc. Being is therefore synonymous with the totality of reality. Again, this is not so much an arbitrary opinion as it is a patently self-evident and tautological assessment based on very simple and obvious logic, and I would sincerely invite anyone who somehow feels compelled to argue against it to question their own underlying motives for doing so.) Of course, the inherently attachment-based ego mind doesn't like to hear any of this. It craves and demands ideological safety, reliability and stability, or in other words: a solid, unshakeable ground that it can build a strong and rigid identity on and thereby keep itself stuck in the treacherous comfort of delusion. And so it will compulsively attack, deflect, distort and/or deny anything that threatens to pull out the rug from under its feet and try at all cost to maintain its dogmatic conviction that "reality is XYZ" and definitely not "not XYZ". You will almost certainly see this play itself out in the replies to this post; there will be plenty of people trying to convince me as well as themselves that I am (absolutely) wrong and they are (absolutely) right and argue until they are blue in the face for the validity of relative positions such as "I am a person", "I am not a person", "I am God", "I am not God", "I exist", "I don't exist", "there is a doer", "there is no doer", "all is one", "all is not one", "there are other minds", "there are no other minds", "reality is physical", "reality is a dream", "reality is logical", "reality is not logical" or whatever other perspectives/beliefs they have built their identity on. Now, am I saying that I myself am totally free of this kind of argumentative pigheadedness? No, of course not. I assure you that I can be just as gleefully opinionated as the next guy; denying any such tendencies on my part would be just another dogmatic assertion and expression of deep egoic delusion. Besides, as long as reality is being observed and experienced from a certain first-person perspective, there is never going to be a 100% complete absence of attachment to that perspective, however faint and imperceptible it may be. But once this perspective is clearly "seen through" and recognized for what it actually is, there is now an opening where the gradual transcendence of all rigid ego identity becomes possible; where all relative perspectives are perceived as different sides of the same all-encompassing coin; where energetic contractions begin to soften, expand and dissolve, and where you start to taste the indescribable boundless bliss and freedom of tapping into and merging with the ineffable Divine, which is All That Is. But of course, that's just my perspective. 😘

I am back up, I am still having some issues with some habits and the enviroment around me, doing small things that absolutely annoy me, so I can't sleep or it just blocks success, for e.g smoking at night into my window so my entire appartement smells like smoke, children playing at night as this place is overpopulated with them, and a lot of small things that annoy me since I was small, I often then have to close everything and take a hit for my health, but I sleep badly and require stimulants. I just put some cold water into my face, I am facing infrastructure issues, ever since this constant competition for ressources happens, and just no break with this constant growth mindset of boomers, and progress etc. It's odd, but yes that little trick helps I do have to remind myself, currently I fix a lot of things last minute due to stress. I can't get a routine going if constantly the infrastructure breaks and I had a gf, that pushed these issues also forward, into "man/women power" where I can clearly see for most it's about money, not even friendship or relational aspect, and even that often is an extraction for knowledge for relation which for Ji-Si becomes, especially problematic etc. It can't be "being" I notice it in myself, if I don't have fun in a relationship or with someone it will just fade out, so I often focus more on the relational aspect of fun & joy, I just put that back on my visionboard yesterday. I feel better to go about, 1h to 30 min meditation sessions after quitting smoking, the hypnosis was so powerful similar to the start of the LP course, I am suprised I have 0 urges whatsoever, I will relax a bit, I am still very beleagured by the issue of the lethargy the enviroment causes me, as I have to act to swiftly in order to avoid nasty triggers, and the whole let's blame the tall guy or the neighbour dynamic and the new wisdom I read in the I-Ching, of honoring your left as nobel, but there is nothing nobel about it, so I honor the nothingness and the absence of nobility as nobel while not being entrenched in it.... very good... it works and I feel better it's stupid to engage with someone so hostile, who smokes cigarettes with his gf. Anyhow I will get started after a while, the situation is still as bad as it seems, and there is a lack of help here, since they make it to much about money or time, even when I ask for help, I still need to get some stuff out of my system if my consistency and momentum is hurt, and steadily go for alternatives, it slows me down, but there is no other way, as other ways weird things just happen around me, and I am tired of these empathy drive-bys and people asking constantly for help or weird things that happen after meditation. There is more I could write as I saw how christian faith meet islamic faith after I had a meditation session, and I thought it was insane how the islamic people without any church etc. almost had to resort to a demonic like faith, and could not sit like zen, it felt like their entire fear went into the practice to uphold a community not to work on the self, it was odd like two religions at war, while I was the middle men after that session just observing, what the hell is going on.

Truth transcends being and non-being , consciousness and unconsciousness, existence and non-existence, somethingness and nothingness . Truth is the place where there isn’t any truth to be found , or a path towards it , or obstacles that hide it , or a seeker that seeks it. it can’t be put into words , yes . Because words aren’t more fundamental than Truth itself . Truth encompasses all words and cannot be limited by any amount of words .

God sees no evil. God is unconditional goodness. God created evil precisely because God is absolutely good. If God did not create evil, He would not be infinitely Good, because the evil things are longing to be created and brought into existence. They suffer from staying in nothingness .Therefore,out of his all-encompassing goodness, He created them. Evil is a potential. God makes all potential things actual precisely because his goodness and unlimited creating ability encompass everything. God created pain , evil , suffering.. because he is infinitely good .

just finished rewatching this . summary and key points from ChatGPT: The video tackles the classic philosophical question: Why does anything exist at all, instead of absolutely nothing? Leo argues that this is more fundamental than questions about how the universe began. Scientists can potentially explain how one state of the universe developed into another, but that still leaves the deeper question: why is there a universe in the first place? Key points “Nothing” is harder to define than it seems We normally imagine nothing as an empty space. But empty space is still something: space exists, time exists, and there could potentially be things within it. Absolute nothingness would mean no space, no time, no matter, no energy, no laws, no consciousness—nothing whatsoever. He divides reality into “being” and “non-being” The investigation considers existence (“something”), non-existence (“nothing”), and the supposed boundary between them. The crucial insight, according to Leo, is that the boundary cannot itself be an ordinary thing. If it were something, then you haven’t reached absolute nothingness. The distinction between something and nothing ultimately collapses This is the video’s major philosophical move. Leo argues that our ordinary concepts of “something” and “nothing” are conceptual distinctions created by the mind. At the deepest level, reality isn’t divided into two independent substances called “something” and “nothing.” Consciousness is presented as fundamental He argues that consciousness is the fundamental reality from which existence manifests. In his framework, consciousness isn’t something that merely appears inside the universe; rather, what we call the universe appears within consciousness. Reality is non-dual There isn’t ultimately a separate “observer” looking at an external “universe.” Subject and object—the experiencer and the experienced—are two conceptual aspects of a single reality. The ego/self is part of the illusion The ordinary feeling of being a separate individual is treated as something constructed by thought. If you identify completely with that separate self, you experience reality as “me versus everything else.” According to the video, recognizing the non-dual nature of consciousness undermines this separation. This is supposed to be directly experienced, not merely believed One of Leo’s strongest claims is that the answer can’t ultimately be obtained through intellectual reasoning alone. He presents direct consciousness/awakening as the way to verify the insight. In other words, the goal isn’t simply to adopt the belief “everything is nothing ” but to investigate experience deeply enough that the distinction collapses. The argument in one sentence The video argues that “something rather than nothing” is ultimately a false distinction: reality is a single, non-dual field of consciousness, and what we call the universe is consciousness manifesting itself.

Seems so real right? Being awake has no different than sleeping. Living in nothingness. That's max the reality can be real.

You can realize no self and nothingness directly as actuality. And still be self deceived about God. These are facets of awakening, not the end all be all. You can realize no self without realizing Self

Identifying as everything. Completely selfless. No doer, no self, just being. Identified with absolute nothingness. That’s not to be confused with lack of perception or experience, but rather, it gets ramps up to hyper insane levels, beyond human. Like my entire human mind shut down completely and was replaced by an alien mind. The “craziest” realization is when I realize that no psychedelic induced it. There is no such thing as psychedelics at such ridiculous heightened state. It’s like being transported to another dimension, while still being grounded in reality. It’s an alien reality that cannot be imagined by a human. With that said, it’s not sustainable for living as a human, so I snapped out of it somehow. The human ego cannot survive in that.

Note: God is obviously not a “he.” God doesn’t sleep because God is always aware. God is all-seeing, which means God sees everything. God is all-hearing, which means God hears everything. God is all-knowing, which means God knows everything. God is all-pervading and exists everywhere and everywhen. God is alive. Humans are also alive. But God’s life is the actual independent life because it is self-sustaining. God doesn’t depend on or need anything external to Himself to make Him alive. Whereas a human needs oxygen 24/7 and needs water and food. And even then, the human will die because it can’t sustain itself forever. As soon as a baby is born, it starts dying slowly. God is the only thing which could be rightfully said to be truly ALIVE because His life is self-sustaining and doesn’t need external resources to support it constantly. The second reason is because He will never die. That which is truly alive is that which will never die—which is God, not a human. Physics, till this day and age, doesn’t know why the universe doesn’t disappear into nothingness immediately for no reason. What sustains it? Well, the answer is that God does. God holds the fabric of space and time together with His will such that it doesn’t go “poof” just like that. And this doesn’t cost Him energy or effort because He is all-powerful and He does anything He wants through sheer will. If He wants to create a universe, He thinks it up, snaps His fingers, and there it is. That’s the mechanism by which God creates. A human needs God, but God doesn’t need anything. God doesn’t need anything because He is the wealthiest being ever. Why? Because all of existence is His property and possession. I possess a car or a house or money. But God possesses everything, including my car, my house, and my money. In fact, I don’t even possess anything. Nothing is truly mine because one day I will lose everything I possess. So I actually possess nothing. And God possesses everything. God is rich. The richest. If you want to be the richest being ever, you have to stop being human and become God. When you become God, you possess all that there is. I’m aware. God is aware. I can see. God can see. I can hear. God can hear. But my awareness and sight and hearing aren’t complete because I fall asleep. But God never sleeps. God is always awake. Always aware of everything. Always knowing everything. Always seeing everything. Always hearing everything. But I fall asleep. Deep sleep is a temporary death. Humans fear death because humans fear nonexistence. In deep sleep, no forms exist. Not even darkness or silence. Nothing at all. That’s a lack. God doesn’t sleep because if He slept even for a second, the whole universe would disappear because the only reason the universe doesn’t disappear is because God sustains it with His will. But doesn’t God feel tired from not sleeping? Why do we sleep? Because we feel tired of being aware. But why is being aware for 18 hours or more tiresome? Because our awareness is limited. And because we are mortal. A day is a metaphor for a lifetime. You wake up in the morning refreshed and energized. You are born as a baby and a child with vitality. Then, as the day goes on, you increasingly get tired, and then you go to bed to die temporarily, or sleep. Likewise, you grow older and get more and more tired until you are so tired that you die and disappear. But God is always absolute awareness. Never sleeps and never dies without getting tired. If you want to never get tired and never experience death, you must stop being human and become God. This is a direct insight I derived from contemplating god which made me feel very happy to understand. Thanks to the Quran as well as Leo’s teachings, obviously it’s not 100 % original.

Note: God is obviously not a “he.” God doesn’t sleep because God is always aware. God is all-seeing, which means God sees everything. God is all-hearing, which means God hears everything. God is all-knowing, which means God knows everything. God is all-pervading and exists everywhere and everywhen. God is alive. Humans are also alive. But God’s life is the actual independent life because it is self-sustaining. God doesn’t depend on or need anything external to Himself to make Him alive. Whereas a human needs oxygen 24/7 and needs water and food. And even then, the human will die because it can’t sustain itself forever. As soon as a baby is born, it starts dying slowly. God is the only thing which could be rightfully said to be truly ALIVE because His life is self-sustaining and doesn’t need external resources to support it constantly. The second reason is because He will never die. That which is truly alive is that which will never die—which is God, not a human. Physics, till this day and age, doesn’t know why the universe doesn’t disappear into nothingness immediately for no reason. What sustains it? Well, the answer is that God does. God holds the fabric of space and time together with His will such that it doesn’t go “poof” just like that. And this doesn’t cost Him energy or effort because He is all-powerful and He does anything He wants through sheer will. If He wants to create a universe, He thinks it up, snaps His fingers, and there it is. That’s the mechanism by which God creates. A human needs God, but God doesn’t need anything. God doesn’t need anything because He is the wealthiest being ever. Why? Because all of existence is His property and possession. I possess a car or a house or money. But God possesses everything, including my car, my house, and my money. In fact, I don’t even possess anything. Nothing is truly mine because one day I will lose everything I possess. So I actually possess nothing. And God possesses everything. God is rich. The richest. If you want to be the richest being ever, you have to stop being human and become God. When you become God, you possess all that there is. I’m aware. God is aware. I can see. God can see. I can hear. God can hear. But my awareness and sight and hearing aren’t complete because I fall asleep. But God never sleeps. God is always awake. Always aware of everything. Always knowing everything. Always seeing everything. Always hearing everything. But I fall asleep. Deep sleep is a temporary death. Humans fear death because humans fear nonexistence. In deep sleep, no forms exist. Not even darkness or silence. Nothing at all. That’s a lack. God doesn’t sleep because if He slept even for a second, the whole universe would disappear because the only reason the universe doesn’t disappear is because God sustains it with His will. But doesn’t God feel tired from not sleeping? Why do we sleep? Because we feel tired of being aware. But why is being aware for 18 hours or more tiresome? Because our awareness is limited. And because we are mortal. A day is a metaphor for a lifetime. You wake up in the morning refreshed and energized. You are born as a baby and a child with vitality. Then, as the day goes on, you increasingly get tired, and then you go to bed to die temporarily, or sleep. Likewise, you grow older and get more and more tired until you are so tired that you die and disappear. But God is always absolute awareness. Never sleeps and never dies without getting tired. If you want to never get tired and never experience death, you must stop being human and become God.

For I do like the Lyrics. I am spacemama I float in the vastness of the cosmos watching over the tiny sparks of light Scattered across the stars Even when you feel alone or small remember that your light matters in this infinite mass of the universe Your struggles and your joys are both parts of that light So when you look up at the stars know that I'm here holding space for you In this vast nothingness Your light in all its complexity Makes everything beautiful Your light's beautiful...

Share your list of the craziest things you have identified as yourself on psychedelics. Here’s is mine: 1. Nothingness 2. Planet Earth. 3. IT (the creature from Stephen King’s imagination). 4. Space. 4. City of Amsterdam 5. City of Toronto 6. Serial killers, psychopaths and maniacs 7. People that were raped 8. Slaughtered animals in farms 9. Nuclear explosion 10. Women

To recap what has been said in the video: The opposite of eternity is temporal finitude. The opposite of perfection is imperfection. The opposite of infinite intelligence is finite intelligence. The opposite of infinite love is limited love. The opposite of impermanence is permanence. The opposite of oneness is multiplicity. The opposite of nothingness is somethingness. The opposite of emptiness is fullness. The opposite of formlessness is form. The opposite of Absolute love is relative love. The opposite of ONE is MANY. Therefore, all of these are relative qualities. If however by capitalizing one (or more) of these words you mean to imply that it points to that which has no opposite, then it doesn't make the slightest difference which word you pick from the dictionary... because in that case, it refers to that which includes and transcends ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. How about the Great Double Whopper With Cheese?

Here are some Absolute Truths: Infinity, Eternity, Perfection, Infinite Intelligence, Infinite Love, Impermanence, Oneness, Nothingness, Emptiness, Formlessness, Fullness, Absolute Love. Also he is wrong about making a distinction between a Tautology and a definition. The number ONE is an absolute unto itself and is a tautology it is also a definition.

Yes but where do you want to go Sometimes I am aware enough to perceive the ego-driven nature of my desires and consequently they lose a significant amount of their sense of reality and capacity to satisfy in those moments. Because if I am aware enough that "liking" "drinking" this "bottle" of "water" is a script, then the magic trick is spoiled. But at the same time once again there is nowhere to go. Even if I became aware enough to let myself die I’ll just forget and "reincarnate" elsewhere. So I figure I might as well continue with this incarnation plan. Anyway free will, the idea that there is a "doer", and thus a choice between "continuing the incarnation, the "survival"" and "leaving" is an illusion so in the absolute sense it doesn't matter; Karma/samsara is simply following its course. This whole discussion is pointless so lolz. I could go even further and say "nothingness" or I don't know what lol but I think you get what I mean.

@Mellowmarsh You are right, or Newman is right in a sense: There are two ways to perceive the absolute. One is absolute being, the total brilliance of what is, sat chit ananda. The fact of being affirmative, radiant, self-aware, and absolute joy because nothing limits it. Total light, what is called enlightenment. The other is absolute emptiness, which is total potential. You perceive yourself as unlimited emptiness, an absence of limits with nothing to hold onto, no reference point, but the very fact of limitlessness perceives itself as total potential. Absolute nothingness in the sense of being unbounded, formless, but open, potential. But saying: reality is nothing leads to confusion

Nothingness means nothingness. Blue means blue.

Nothingness exists as a concept known. And yet things know nothing. That’s what nothingness means, it means things know nothing.