Lol, then what are you complaining about? You got exactly what you wanted.
What you learned is: don't be cocky with psychedelics. If you treat them like toys, they will slap you around.
It was an important lesson. From now on you will respect psychedelics and your trips should go better.
Proper dosage is also very important. Don't over do it.

Do your pranayamas slow and deep. When you get good, one inhale should last like 30 seconds, then 30 seconds for the exhale.
You want to slow your breath down as much as possible.
In certain meditative traditions they try to slow down the breath down to 1 breath per minute. That's sorta the goal here. Make each breath count. Really visualize & feel that prana flowing up the spine, through each chakra and up the brain stem. That's the key IMO. You are rewiring the brain stem, the reptilian part of your brain which keeps egoic consciousness locked in.
As your practice improves your breathing should slow down and deepen, your visualization should become more clear and precise and filled with feeling.
Practice slowing down your intake of air as much as possible, and practice perfecting your visualization.
That should give you 80% of your results.

Sorry if another section would be more appropriate for this but nothing jumped out at me as obviously being a better fit. This is going to be a somewhat embarrassing thing to talk about but here it goes. I have a 6yr old daughter, when I found out her mother (now my wife) was pregnant with her we had only been dating for 2 months (accidental, obviously) and there was a 10yr age gap between us. I was 29, she was 19. The realization that I was going to be a dad and the sole provider for a child and mother who was a full time student hit me hard. I went from easy-going, working just enough to pay my bills (30hrs a week maybe), partying every weekend, etc., to being a workaholic who was deeply afraid of not having enough money to support my family in about a weeks time. Money became my first priority and I started working 70+ hours a week and stressing like crazy. With this came erectile dysfunction, more specifically, a condition called pelvic floor dysfunction in which the muscles of the pelvic floor basically contract unconsciously, and even against your will when you try to consciously relax them. This is the literal physical manifestation of someone being "uptight", a "tight ass", or "anal retentive". I've also had a sort of dull tension in my entire body, especially my jaw and traps for years now. I got myself into a mode where I'm always in a rush, obsessed with efficiency, always multi-tasking, always thinking about what's next on the agenda, etc. Granted, the mental side of things is much better since I discovered Leo and meditation, cut my work hours down, and my wife graduated and got a job, but the physical symptoms haven't improved. I've been working with a chiropractor for over a year with no improvement, although he has fixed several posture related problems. And I've just recently started working with a physical therapist who's a published author on the subject of pelvic floor dysfunction in men. The problem is, she says this is primarily a mental phenomenon, not physical, and recommends meditation, journaling, seeing a sex therapist or a psychiatrist, hypnosis, and getting your gut health in order because of the relationship of the microbiome to the brain. I've been meditating and journaling for about 2.5yrs now, and just had a stool analysis done so we can assess the state of my gut and have radically altered my diet based on the results. 
 
So, I thought I might ask here since this is problem appears to be more psychological than physical, if before I throw down more money on therapists and testing, anyone here has some reliable ways to relieve tension in the body. Meditation helps some but it's not significant. I've tried guided yoga nidra sessions but I just fall asleep every time. That's another thing, sleep doesn't fix it either. The tension I mean. I've tried affirmations too. Again things like meditation, mindfulness, journaling, affirmations, etc, have improved my life tremendously but I still can't shake this one symptom. I've also tried drugs like alpha blockers, beta blockers, and benzos. These help for a matter of a few days and then everything goes back to "normal". Also viagra and cialis do help slightly, but it's maybe like a 10% improvement, doesn't get me anywhere close to a normal level of sexual function, and does nothing for the pelvic floor tension I deal with 24/7.
 
Ok I feel like I'm rambling now. If you've read this far, thank you. If you have any methods you think might be useful in my situation, I'm all ears! 

@Joseph Maynor How much longer you gonna keep playing this smartass role?
Sick of it yet?

Perfection is only possible in the absence of morality.
That's the rub, perfection is only attainable for no one. So to see it, you must become no one.
There are no whoms. There is only God.

Whatever juicy insights you think you get on weed will be 100x deeper on LSD. So that's really LSD's selling point.
LSD is the second most beautiful substance (after 5-MeO).

It just happens naturally as you trip. Just surrender to the trip and the substance will take you were you need to go, whether mentally or emotionally.
I've had powerful emotional experiences on every substance. It mostly depends on you, not the substance.
Mushrooms can be very emotional for me. They tend to be intoxicating and very trippy. LSD is better for metaphysical contemplation.
As your trip starts you can set an intention to either: 1) work on personal emotional issues, 2) work on metaphysical insights, 3) work on life purpose and a vision for your life. Just pick one and see where it takes you.

@MM1988 It's gonna depend a lot on his particulars.
A person like that is going to have serious motivation problems. So you need steps which will get him engaged and mobilized. That will depend on what he really wants in life and what will motivate him.
If he's a 30 year virgin, then coming up with a compelling vision could work nicely. Like a vision of him getting into shape, starting to socialize, and finally landing his hot dream girlfriend. That should probably get him engaged. But he has to start believing that it's really possible for him to do that, not just a pipe dream.
A person so stuck will have A LOT of excuses for why he can't, why nothing ever works. Classic victim mindset. You gotta question all those excuses to death and draw that compelling vision anyway.
A great vision is the key to motivation. A vision that really fits you. (See my Life Purpose Course for how to create a badass vision for your life.)

It happened on the fourth day of this quiet Vipassana retreat in a small French-Canadian town called Montebello. For 10 days, we were not supposed to talk, to look at each other, to write, to read or to eat anything else than the usual two meals per day that were served to us.
I was meditating on a small pile of 5 cushions, with my legs crossed, my back up straight, my hand united and my eyes closed. The Vipassana practice seems like a well-structured, straightforward technique of body scan practicing our mindfulness and our equanimity in order to simply observe physical sensations throughout the body and eventually generate less and less aversion toward pain and less craving toward pleasure. Nothing fancy. Just try to feel the actual tactile stimuli, without preference for any part of the body.
The first four days were just getting more and more painful, tiresome and discouraging. I vaguely knew what I was going into, and I was pretty determined, but these pains (in my shoulders, back, thighs, calves and feet) were around 6 or 7 out of 10. 10 being the level of pain someone might experience when their leg gets slowly cut off with a saw. It was especially painful after 45 minutes of sitting without readjusting my posture (except straightening my back or releasing muscular tensions from time to time).
I also had these childhood traumas coming up (which rarely came up before, even during my therapy sessions, but I guess the chair is too comfortable for that ?). At least the reliving of those traumas was shortly followed by a somewhat soothing release, but also by new psychoanalytic insights about how I was acting during my childhood and why.
At the end of those hours, the voice in my head was complaining and victimizing, trying to distract itself, trying to cope with all flavors of impatience, rage, sadness, fear, doubt, craving, pride, competitiveness, jealousy and suffering that you could imagine. Most of my muscles were very tense, to the point of my neck and head starting to shake uncontrollably, while my head was presumably turning lobster-red and was displaying the helplessly enraged face of a 2-year-old having a temper tantrum. At least a painful period was followed by a muscular release along with the emotional one, even though the pain was still as vivid and intense.
After four days, our capacity for focus and concentration was solid enough for us to not only feel the sensations of our breath, but now also the sensations all around the body. So we had a 90 minutes long meditation where we were not supposed to reposition ourselves or leave the room, while we were taught this whole-body Vipassana method for the first time. The "event" if I may, happened at the end of this very session.
The emotional and muscular tension was starting to build up even faster and stronger than it ever did before. It was like a rubber band, stretching and stretching until I gave up and released it, producing an insight that resonated as loud as the rubber's whipping sound. But this one final time, I think the rubber band just broke beyond repair...
The voice was not only complaining, resisting or craving, it started literally screaming like that of someone getting tortured to death. It was shaking so much that I got covered in sweat, despite de cool air and slight breeze around me. Screaming, shaking, screaming, shaking, for dozens of seconds, out of my freaking mind until I could not bear it anymore.
And then, it stopped.
In a fraction of a second, my body went from extremely tense to extremely relaxed. My internal speech went from extremely loud to extremely silent. And I will always remember the two sentences that were internally said after that :
"Oh my god, you're exaggerating.
You're taking yourself way too seriously..."
The voice had a confident and straightforward tone, but also a loving and playful one at the same time. It felt like the voice of an ideal father and certainly, my inner child got the message that day.
I was in a state of shock for about an hour or two. I took a cold shower, then looked at myself in the mirror and thought "Oh, that's what a Regard Ténébreux looks like" which is a French expression basically meaning a dark and hard look. One that has lived through a lot.
And after that, the smiles, giggles, and fits of laughter started. ? And my meditations were never the same after that. Instead of making torture faces, I was going from serious but relaxed, to smiling, to wide-grinning, all the way to uncontrollable laughter. One of my biggest challenges during the following days was to laugh silently and make sure I don't disturb anyone around.
Just to be clear, the pain was still there, 6 or 7 out of 10. It was even more defined and my focus was steadier. But instead of resisting, I was laughing. And I don't feel like I've decided to start doing that. I feel like I've decided to meditate seriously for 4 days, and then this peaceful, playful and detached attitude came naturally, by itself.
I also started to experience unprecedented authenticity in my compassion towards people who suffer. For example, I stopped being annoyed by my roommate, wishing he would give up the retreat and secretly feeding off his misery. Instead, I naturally started seeing his pain and wishing that he would understand how to be in a better place. (I'm honestly on the verge of tears just writing that down right now hehe)
Within two hours, my compassion, playfulness, motivation, hope, confidence, calmness and equanimity were pretty much increased by a factor of 100 or 1000. It was definitely more than 10 times, but maybe not a million either. That gives you an idea of the significance of the changes.
People started being very intimidated by my calm, assertive and focused presence. But I don't think it was conscious, most of the time. I just saw it in their nervous tics and involuntary movements, of which I had almost none anymore.
During the first three days, I was looking a lot at one of the two assistants of the Vipassana teacher. He was a bit older than me and seemed very noble, hardworking, but also relaxed, happy and present. I felt inspired by him. But during the following days, he was the one staring at me. I caught him several times and he got seemingly destabilized while looking elsewhere.
At the end of the 10 days, we were allowed to speak again. In the washrooms, I waited for this assistant to pass in front of me so that I could tell him that they were out of brown paper. He didn't seem to care about that for even a second, but he just looked at me and asked: "You're pretty much in Nirvana all the time, aren't you?"
I answered: "I'm not ready to put words on it yet, but pretty much, I guess. Do you want me to tell you the story? It happened on the fourth day". And so we went on, talking about our experiences. As of today, I feel like he was the only one to really understand my state. He gave me the advice of first maintaining my equanimity (which is my lack of reaction to pleasant or unpleasant sensation or feelings), and secondly, my tactile awareness. I'm still rolling and maintaining both, even after speaking to my parents, walking 2 hours and being stuck in Montebello for 10 hours with my heavy bags, going back to work, having my first panic attack in front of my boss, having every stranger intimidated by my presence, spending a wonderful evening with this girl I like, etc.
Since then, I have been laughing, again and again, at was used to be my misery, but which has now become the funniest, inexhaustible joke.
Now I seek clarifications about what happened and also advice for the future of my journey. I hope you liked the story, but it's your turn now! ?

Change is harder than most people expect.
It's not that it doesn't work. It works too effectively. The problem is, you don't really want to change, and you're not addressing the root of your issues. No one has shown you how to actually APPLY self-help advice. So you're lost in theory and improper application.
Victim mentality (which is what your entire post is), can be tricky to overcome. Especially when you are first starting out and you're deep in the hole from a lifetime of dysfunctional living.
The good new is: the advice works and the end-results you can get are way beyond your wildest dreams. The bad news is: it will take lots of work to actualize it.
Redouble your efforts, have hope, and drop your victim mentality.
P.S. Getting pissed is part of the process.

You are never going to succeed in this path without high quality theory. It's just full of too many traps, one of which is too much theory, another one of which is too little theory.

For those of you into Kriya, I would highly recommend that in addition to reading the original Kriya book I suggested, you also read the books of Santata Gamana. I now prefer his more simplified techniques. It's a much more streamlined version of Kriya which I think will be even more effective. I found too much needless complexity and variety in the other way.
Right now my technique stack is very simple:
Mahamudra x3 Kriya Pranayama x24 Kriya Supreme Fire x3 One-pointed Concentration for 5 mins Eventually, with lots of practice, you should aim for something like the following stack:
Mahamudra x3 Kriya Pranayama x36-x72 Kriya Supreme Fire for 10-20 mins One-pointed Concentration for 10-20 mins (Bonus: Yoni Mudra x3) (Bonus: Kechari mudra) EDIT: ideally, do this stack twice per day. But if you don't have that much time, at least once per day.
Don't attempt to do this second stack right off the bat. It will not be sustainable. You need to gradually build up to it, like with heavy weightlifting.
I think the original book I recommended is still very good as an introduction and foundation because Gamana's books are so short and thin that they do not provide enough information about Kriya to a total newbie. They are aimed at people who have already been initiated in one school or another.
If you are strictly following the original book, that is okay. You can keep doing that if you want. Or you could switch to this more streamlined version like I decided to do. I don't like learning too many complicated techniques. But that's just me. Both ways should work in the end. It's mostly a matter of style. Although I actually think the streamlined version will end up to be more effective because it concentrates your limited time on the most powerful techniques, and less time is wasted on learning new complex techniques.

@Betterself Yes, you are alone. As God.
Nonduality means there cannot be any "other" who is not you. The deepest levels of nonduality can make you start to feel lonely, as you realize that you created this entire dream all by yourself and the illusion of "otherness" gets shattered. It can feel very solipsistic, but also, as the mind adjusts to your new understanding, the loneliness should dissipate.
I do not exist. You created this forum to entertain yourself. And here you are reading all these posts that you yourself wrote to yourself. Seeking advice from "others" who are really just yourself.
Try to see the beauty of that.
Aloneness and connection are ONE. You can look at it like the glass is half empty, or the glass is half full. By being everyone, you are infinitely connected to everyone.
You still haven't surrendered fully to nonduality. Yes, it's very radical and scary to surrender fully to it. The truth is radical beyond words. Your fear of being totally alone is precisely what you must explore and ultimately surrender. The ego-mind hates it of course and will be resistant, trying to anchor itself into something, anything to avoid Absolute Nothingness and Total ONENESS.

Sit in a yoga pose and visualize loving energy flowing up your spine into your heart, then visualize your heart radiating love. Really feel it. This activates your heart chakra and helps open it up. Keep doing that and you will become more loving.
It also helps to bring up memories of intense beauty or love that you've experienced in the past.
You are sort of shifting your state with this technique.

Fuck.
If you told me a week ago what I am going to write now, I would have laughed at you. On May 25th I realized absolute Truth.
 
What I did:
During the week, that passed I had a 6.5d solo retreat and with some intense 10 to 12h of daily practice. The weekend before (May 18th-20th) I went on a nice camping trip with 3 of my friends and fellow self-actualizers. We did some inner and regular self-actualization work together and enjoyed time in nature. This was a great preparation and helped me to put some space between practical everyday life and the retreat.
My intent was to reconnect myself with spirituality and to go deep into the work.
I combined several different practices, kriya yoga, labeling and do nothing meditation, holotropic breathing, walking meditation starting at 5am in the morning. On the 4th day I took 300µg of AL-LAD. I tried to time everything in a way that I was a least likely to get disturbed by my housemates. Here's my schedule:

M = meditation
SDS = strong determintion sitting
SHF = "see, hear, feel" (labeling)
Holo = Holotropic breathing
Allthough I was able to follow through with the entire schedule without missing one single practice (which I am kinda proud of ), I ended up having a lot of what I would call half-assad sits and sloppy meditations. I had to move and open my eyes a lot, even during strong determination sitting, and I ended up getting lost in thoughts a lot.
Nevertheless I was able to enter a state of great calmness by wednesday. I also did 1h of walking meditation 3 times/d, just walking around in a park next to where I live so I wasn't really that isolated from the rest of humanity allthough I didn't really speak to anybody.
In case you might be wondering, I had psychedelic trips before this one. I was actually doing psychedelics before I stumbled about Leo and the concept of personal developement. And over the last 5 years I had a couple of mushroom and salvia trips, one 25I-NBOMe experience and 3 AL-LAD trips prior to this one  (100, 200 and 150µg).
 
What I experienced:
The actual retreat and practice itself was rather ordinairy. I had to go through some emotional work and purging to enter a state of great calmness and equanimity on day 3. To cultivate this internal peace helped a great deal with preparing me for day 5.
The holotropic breathing also did a lot. I typically fall asleep soon after the breathing is over after a state of trance where most of the purging seems to happen for me. After waking up I alway feel so relieved.
On the 5th day, I prepared everything for the actual trip. I sat down and said to myself: "I am ready to learn! Whatever may come, I am open and will accept it." Then I orally administrated the 300µg of AL-LAD and listened to some music for about 35min to help myself relax a little from a mild pre-trip anxiety. As I noticed it starting to take effect, I turned off the music and laid down on my bed.
I started to see visual phenomenon and allowed myself to get fascinated by the patterns of the ceiling above me. I just let myself ooze into them and start to get absorbed. Everything got more and more intense and suddenly everything (my whole visual field, but also the inner world of mind and the fields of sound and touch) collapsed into one giant mosic like totality.
And then, I suddenly realized what happened. I was no longer there. There was just infinite formlessness. I became Truth.
I should note, that the experience was profoundly beautiful and profundly shocking at the same time! My human body just contorted in awe and horror. I felt every single emotion at the same time. I also noticed, that I started to hear sounds. High ringing type of sounds, that augmented the chirping of the birds outside and low drone like sounds, that seemed to be related to my breath
Now the really profound thing was, that I seemed to be able to switch back and forth between this state of being absolute formless infinity and the state of being a contracted human form. This was immense! I experienced how I (absolute infinity) contract to create form, mind, relative reality, ego and suffering. I realized, that I am god and how I am constantly creating everything. I realized, that what most people call hallucinations or visuals on psychedelics are actually artefacts of how creation of form from fromlessness happens. They are just how absolute nothingness looks like when it creates reality.
This switching back and forth produced enourmus insight and I was able to learn so much! It went on about 4-5h and then, I started to stay more and more in the domain of forms. As the trip became milder and taper off, I decided to take a long-ass walk because I wanted to be outside and in nature. It was so beautiful.
My mind still was in this hyper-intelligent mode, that it seems to enter on AL-LAD and started to produce insight after insight, and it integrated all the theory and concepts about nonduality with the experience.
The trip was about 8 to 9h long and I entered a nice afterglow, that lasted the whole next day, as I continued my retreat. I returned back to the state of great calmness, I had the days before the trip and the experience became more and more of a memory. I started to realize, that this glimpse won't be permanent. But the insights stayed with me.
 
What I learned:
I became Truth. I experienced, what I truely am. Everything is in perspective now.
I learned how creation and existence work. I understood how I (the Big I, nothingness, god, infinity, formlessness...) contract to spit out all dualistic forms including my human form, the mind and reality. I also realized, how I have to create suffering and ego in order for this to happen. This was an profundly powerful and eye opening insight. It also showed me, how I (my human form) can literally not exist and be happy at the same time. For my body even to take a single breath, I have to create form and therefore suffering. And it made this whole issue of having to physically die to get enlightened very clear. Letting go completely litterally is the way, that I can return to nothingness. There can only be Truth or there can be creation and suffering.
I understood every single contemplative practice, how each one works and in what way it is supposed to reveal Truth to you. Kriya, breathing, and all the different meditation techniques, Leo and Shinzen talk about make total sense now.
I also learned how to meditate intuitively. The way Infinity came to me and the way, I had to let go sort of made a permanent imprind and I was able to recreate the way I focused my mind and surrenderd myself on the next day. It's basically a combination of open, choiceless awareness and a very deep surrender (simular to the do nothing technique). Leo's guided meditation video actually get's pretty close to it. Allthough I am not able to recreate the deep state I had on my trip, I can archive a calm and extremely peaceful no-mind kind of state that way.
I learned how life purpose and spirituality work together. This became so clear to me by becoming infinity and seeing how reality comes into existence. Maintaining a minimal sense of self for this mammal, that I am to survive is best done by aligning myself more and more with the truth and with living an integrated purposeful life.
I learned how the whole issue of authenticity and relating to other people is connected with spirituality. This was huge insight. The only way to relate to other beings without creating suffering is the way of utter vulnerability. Like if you literally would lay you naked body in the arms of another person, exhale your last breath and say: "You can have everything! My entire existence, it's yours!" This kind of surrender is the exact same surrender that is needed for enlightenment.
I learned, that the biggest trap, I can now fall into is to cling to the memory of my awekening too much and to have too strong of a desire to recreate it. Whenever I am clinging to the memory, I am not surrendering to the Truth.
 
What's next:
More practice and more tripping. This experience of infinity I had is already fading and I see, how I have to do a LOT more work, to make it penetrate the core of my being more. I want to take my spiritual practice way more serius and I want to embody what I have learned. More theory. Even though I have studied quite a lot, I now feel like I needed the experinece to truly understand any of the theory. There is so much more to learn now. More life purpose work. I am curently building a life around being a musician and I want to do it in the way that is as alighned to Truth as possible. Having seen infinity made it increadibly clear to me how this has going to happen. Doing more for my body. I have seen what increadible miracle it is to have the form of a human being and I want to take care of this mammal that I am as best as I can. And allthough I have a pretty clean diet, I have all sorts of tense muscles in my back and consume quite a lot of caffeine. Getting more into fitness and exercising is inevitable right now. Working on truthful and authentic relating to others. I want to be able to open myself to others way more and to become a lot more honest.  
Tips and advice:
Unlike Leo, I would advise you to have your first experience of Truth with AL-LAD rather than with 5MeO-DMT. I understand, that this is sort of personal, but if I would take the 20min of my trip, that where most intesne and imagined myself getting blasted into this state within a few seconds, I wouldn't have been able to let go so smoothly and I guess wouldn't have learned nearly as much.>
Think of it this way: If you were trying to understand light, and you can choose between a lightbulb, which is nicely dimmed on and off again, and a single bolt of lightening, I guess for a first timer, the lightbulb is much more helpful. Probably my most important advice: Study the theory! If I wouldn't have been studying the theory of nonduality for the last couple of years I would literally have gotten nothing out of the experience. My mind wouldn't have been able to make sense out of anything. It would just have been some hallucination for me. Having concepts of what I was experiencing helped a great deal with recognizing it as absolute Truth and the way that AL-LAD makes your mind become this hyperintelligent wisdom machine worked greatly with that (which is another reason why I would recommend AL-LAD over 5MeO for a first time experience). On retreat, practice starts to take on at different dynamic on its own. Stuff comes up and it might be getting very hard to do some of the techniques as good as you would be able to do them in your daily practice. Don't judge yourself for that and don't judge your performance. Surrender to whatever happens and try not to get frustrated. The retreat is at play here and it will give you whatever you need to learn right now (sort of like a trip). Thinking in terms of good or bad retreats is not useful (recisely like thinking in terms of good or bad trips is not useful ). Solo retreats are perfect settings for breakthrough doses of psychedelics. If you are serious about experiencing Truth for the first time than this is definately one of the most recommended alternatives. If you're struggeling with this issue of life purpose vs. spirituality, consider psychedelics. For me they made the solution to this increadibly clear. They actually showed me, that there is no real difference between the two, especially, if you understand how your core values relate to Truth. Lastly: Remember, that letting go is the key!  
I am so greatful right now. Awakening is so powerfully life transforming and liberating. Thank all of you for walking this path together. I hope this report is helpful. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer.

@Viking Do you have a problem watching a movie despite knowing it's fiction or CGI?
So what's the problem? Enjoy illusion for what it is.
Why do you need it to be real? Why must you insist that in order to watch a movie, it has to be footage of actual events that took place in the world?
You see how silly that is?
The whole point of life is that it is a CREATION! You are creating it from scratch! The possibilities of creation are infinite. So enjoy the creation unfold. God pulled all of creation out of his ass, and in fact, he's doing it every millisecond.

Just a simple reminder.
 
There is no YOU that will become enlightened.
The only thing that stands between YOU and enlightenenment is ... YOU.
There is not a personal self experiencing anything, it's just concepts, beliefs, physical sensations floating around.
It floats around so seamlessly that it is really convincing that YOU exist, but in reality there is no entity there, it's just a sum of all this that gives you this illusion ...
This is what meditation is for, to make you see this.
The thing is, most people only do that in their meditation schedule.
DON'T !
Do it all the time, everywhere, yes it will be awful, yes it will drive you mad, but it's the only way.
Everytime you walk, talk, or do anything that doesn't require you to concentrate that much you should look at your mind, passively, without judging it, letting all the crazy thoughts out.

Now you may think this is basic, that everyone knows that, and everyone knows this with a little research on non-duality, it's true.
Now the thing is, do you know this, or do you KNOW this ?

There is a difference between knowing something conceptually and experientially, in this case it is critical, because otherwise you won't understand deeply what you (the real you) have to do.
You may do it inconsciously, even consciously sometimes, and you will forget A LOT, but in the end it must become a habit, 
What you really have to do, is to deconstruct everything you think is true, including YOU.
Which means that every beliefs, every concepts, every stories (about you too), every memories, every attachements, every identifications have to crumble.
Crumble in the sense that you don't even know if it really is true, if it really happened, or if you are really what you think and feel right now.
You must doubt EVERYTHING
Doubt what happened 10 years ago, 1 year ago, even 5 minutes from now
Doubt what you know about politics, history, people and scientifical facts (even that the earth is round, yes ...)
Doubt what your like and dislike (especially your dislike)
Doubt what you feel, investigate your emotions, they don't mean what you think they do ...
You must doubt there is even a WORLD AROUND YOU !
You must doubt you even exist as a HUMAN BEING !
YOU MUST DOUBT YOU EVEN EXIST AT ALL !
 
https://www.livereal.com/spiritual/practical-spiritual-experiments/spiritual-autolysis/
 
-Jed Mckenna

@Serotoninluv Thanks for that report. Great stuff.
@DrMobius My pleasure to be of service
Here is my method for rectal administration of 5-MeO:
Make sure you empty your butt first. Make sure you have not eaten anything for at least 3-4 hours. Don't eat any heavy greasy food that day. Make sure your 5-MeO-DMT is HCl form. DO NOT PLUG FREEBASE! That will burn like a bitch. Use 1ml plastic disposable needless oral syringes. You can find them on Amazon Heat up a small cup of pure bottled water in the microwave, so it's warm. Weight out 10mg of 5-MeO very accurately and place into a spoon. Use the syringe to suck up about 0.3ml of the warm water from the cup. Squirt that 0.3 ml of water into the spoon. Stir the 5-MeO so it is fully dissolved. Suck the entire liquid from the spoon into the syringe, including any particles left on the bottom. Put a few drops of lube on the syringe. Relax your butt hole and stick it in there about 1.5 inches. Slowly squeeze the syringe. Remove syringe. Tighten your butt and you should be all set. There should be no leakage. Go lie down on the carpet and enjoy your trip. Trip will come on FAST, within 5 minutes. You will start peaking at around 10 minutes. And it lasts for over an hour. Fear and heart-pounding is very normal for the first 10 minutes. It will pass as you surrender. Just breathe deep and relax and get curious about "What is the true nature of reality?" TOTALLY surrender! Start with 10mg and increase dose from there in 5-10mg increments. This method is more accurate and consistent than snorting. It wastes less substance. It comes on smoother and lasts a bit longer, which is perfect. There is some mild burning sensation in your butt for about 20 minutes, but it seems harmless and it's less unpleasant than snorting.
N,N-DMT can also be administered rectally as above. BUT, most N,N-DMT is freebase! You must use a salt form of N,N-DMT, which is usually harder to find. But you can find it. N,N-DMT Fumarate is a good salt version. Because the doses with N,N-DMT are larger, you will need to use more than 0.3ml of water. Possibly needing a 2ml syringe. With this method, your N,N-DMT trip will be much smoother, more gentle, and last much longer than smoking it.

@zenjen Two things:
1) That whole "I am struggling to kill myself... this is so difficult..." is itself a farce. It's the ego over-dramatizing its own death. It's the final form of egotism to overcome. The ego loves to make a big deal out of dying.
2) Tap into love. It conquers all fear. Including the fear of death. When you feel like you cannot go any further, tap into love and let it overtake you. Push, but let go of control.

In a recent awakening I had this simple insight, which I find difficult to put in words. But it felt so powerful that I will try my best.
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Answer this question: 
What do you want the most in life on the deepest level?

Your answer will probably be love and happiness. 
Most of all, you want love and happiness. Peace.

But, you are identified with an ego. With a body/mind. 
So, you, the one that wants love and happiness, wants it only for yourself. 
And we all know the problems that arise from that.

But what if we could completely take away that identification for a moment, and ask that same question again?
What do you, without this identification as a separate ego, want the most in life on the deepest level? What would that answer be? 
Meditate on this.

The answer, still, is love and happiness! The exact same as before.
But now it's not seen from the perspective of ego.
Can you see what that shows you?

You ARE a field of consciousness which only wants love and happiness!
In other words, peace.

That doesn't change when there's an ego. Your egoic desires to be happy have been coming from your essential source all along.
There really is no egoic desire! There's only a misunderstanding. The ego itself.

So now... this desire for love and happiness is no longer limited to your body/mind.
You want it for everyone and everything.
Because that's what you essentially are. 
God only wants love and happiness!
Because you are God, and you just gave that answer to the question above. 

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Please don't let love be the missing piece of the puzzle. We often dismiss this entire notion of love in the name of rationality and cold truth. Which is fine at times. But really, you'll find out... There's nothing here but this infinite field of love. We can give it names like consciousness, awareness. But it's just love. 
And again, your deep desire for it shows it to you. 

For me personally, this has been the insight that has really set things off. I've had a really difficult couple of months because I couldn't really accept where I was heading, and things got this really serious vibe because of it. Which I guess was a great time for me to face some of those demons. But after this particular awakening... there's now this newfound trust. Trust in that which I essentially am. And it makes it a lot easier to surrender whenever it gets difficult.

Anyway, hope that helps. <3