kieranperez

Christmas is coming up and I’m planning on moving out now from home living with my dad and he and I don’t really have a relationship anymore and I know and can see everyday how much all of his problems and suffering is caused because he’s so “rationally minded” and considers himself a skeptic but really he’s a perfect description of what @Leo Gura accurately calls as a false skeptic in a very dogmatic way where he prides himself on being “honest” but he doesn’t see how he’s so resistant and manipulative and so on. Despite all this though, I do want to help in some sort of way if it’s even possible. I’m already so close to when I leave cutting ties with him which would mean I will have cut all ties with my immediate family except for maybe my little brother. As much as I am anger and extremely bitter deep down for being like “I thought you were right (about atheism, philosophy, etc.) all these decades,” and now that I see through the sham of the ego and all these dysfunctional patterns and that my parents weren’t that much more functional internally and deluded than anyone else, I do want, if it’s even possible to give at least my Dad a Christmas present of some sort of book that talks about enlightenment or at least gets him started to consider meditation. So if you had to recommend 1 book for a person like this, what would it be? I also have the booklist so I could on there too but I wanted to get a 3rd party take on this. I mean, he thinks meditation really should just be for stressed out CEOs. If you talk to him about questions like Free vs. Determinism he gets very dogmatic defending free will by using the whole ‘this whole debate just is an ideology for lazy people to accept there’s no free will so they don’t do anything. People are in charge of their decisions. You saying free will is an illusion is just bullshit people say to sound wise and smart. I have the choice to work my ass off and do good and not do bad’ He’s very much into debating and what not. I know this is probably a stretch but I thought I’d at least ask...

Is SF or LA coming first?

So right now I'm trying to brainstorm ways on moving out from home at 23. I don't get along with my Dad at all, there is no relationship between him and I and I'm going to need to close this relationship and I'm desperate to to move out. However, one of my fears living in San Francisco is this visceral fear of not being able to survive because I can't afford to live here and I don't have any real friends I can try and move out with at this point and also don't have business skills or really practical skills beyond minimum wage jobs. I know my life purpose is enlightenment but I also don't have the development to really pursue as hardcore as I want to nor the freedom, money, ability, or know-how to bootstrap a business around it (that and I don't want to be the blind leading the blind). I don't know if being a monk is necessarily what I really want to do however I am contemplating it but that would be something I probably pull the trigger on in a few years once I get momentum with my practice and so on. So I've been thinking 'okay, I really want to move out but I only have retail job skills. I can't really start a business here at home and I don't earn enough money to really start one since I'm only scheduled to work 10 hours per week... what if I learned a more valuable skill that, sure, I'm not passionate about like programming and get a job in programming somewhere where I'm at least earning better income that I can use to invest in a business or something that I can then bootstrap to escape wage slavery?' What are you guys' thoughts on this? Do you think that's just taking too long of a route? Sometimes I think about it and I'm like 'man this seems like I'm taking the long route to the beach that take over an hour to get there with all these detours when I could just take the route that's only a 15 minute drive.'

“To be or not to be, that is the struggle.” - Shunyamurti

What are your thoughts of the Hare Krishnas?

Most athletes (including professionals) when they really start to hurt go to their head. A lot of great athletes still live in their head. They approach what they do through their head trying to rationalize everything.

The only real reason we “need” these rules is because people don’t want to see, investigate, nor admit why we have these “rules”, values, laws, etc. in the first place. We have these because fundamentally people need to be manipulated by other systems and by themselves to do “good” and not cause harm to others. See Leo’s 2 videos on morality. We have rules not kill someone because we are so egotistical, selfish, self-deceived, and unconscious that we actually need a rule or law to not do so. Most people live in a world based around resistance. So what happens when you want to do one thing but you have a rule that says not to? You have tension and repression/suppression. Imagine a world where someone didn’t need a rule to not kill someone, get pissed off, he’ll at someone, etc. The fact that we have these rules is just a testament to our own lack of development. The fact that we have to use government also to enforce these things is also a testament to our own lack of development as a a society. Sure it can maybe be done but this is like you need to go to the grocery store that’s a 5 minute drive away but instead you get in your car and drive the opposite direction taking long detours and routes ends up taking 6 hours and by the time you get there the store is closed. But hey, maybe that’s the way we have to do it.

Rule of Thumb: If you have a belief, it's hogwash. Sure. You'll still have beliefs. However, one of the major goals and requisites in this path is tossing all beliefs because all beliefs are false. Also, after you say awaken to your true nature, you'll be much more open and have greater understanding that no belief is the truth nor is true. You'll take your beliefs much more lightly after an enlightenment experience and you'll understand that you can toss them to. See this clip with @Leo Gura & Peter Ralston:

Remember one of the principles in the course, "detachment from outcome". I'd revisit that principle in the course. You seem too tense and involved in the significance of your life purpose. Remember, it's a balance. You know what you want and it's important to you and I recommend you treat it as such but also balance it out with the understanding of how meaningless it all is. From what I'm guessing, you seem to have this tension with people in your job because you're too emotionally invested. I'd really start chilling out. You sound too wound up. People won't be able to work with you if you're this uptight, as you're discovering. Which I totally get. I have this same problem when I'm around other people that may talk and play lip service to say spirituality or my other passion of running. I tend to be that guy that's just so bold and direct and no-bullshit that it actually turns people off. ^If that resonates with you as something you do too, I recommend looking into your own defensiveness as I ultimately have learned that's pretty much what's driving that whole behavior for me. It's almost like you put on a mask of this hard nosed, serious, knowledgable, direct person that cuts the shit and is all about business but really what's going on is that you're afraid and are fearful which comes from a place of hurt, otherwise you wouldn't have that wall up that's clearly turning people off.

Depends on how hard you're running and training run a hundred miler covering 10,15,20, 25, 30,000 feet of uphill and downhill in the mountains and I don't see most people hitting that point of feeling quite meditative LOL that'll come with years of mastery. But yeah, I see them going hand in hand but also, I love them both. I miss running at the end of the day. I don't really have any races I yearn for or anything and haven't felt like racing in quite some time. I just want to run again and I want to do it well. I also want to know the Truth and understand mind, self, another, Love, what everything is and so on. I don't want to coach as I'm not really someone that likes to manage people. Not a strength nor interest I have. Because I do.

Fast forward to 23:00 Consciousness and reality is all there is. You're only 1 perspective out of infinite number of perspectives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH7i1CDGChI

A few weeks ago I took an enneagram test and my result was that I'm a Type 6 (The Loyal Skeptic) and I was so startled by how dead-on accurate it describes so plainly and clearly my biggest mental struggles. I don't mean tendencies to get pissed off, sad, etc. I mean the context behind it all. As some of you who have put up with a lot of my repeating posts know of my internal struggle to move out from home, struggling with the life purpose course and coming up with a life purpose, inability to make decisions, take more responsibility, etc. and the moment I got started reading the particular weaknesses here's what came up (see below images)... I mean it's SPOT ON (I mostly agree with the neurotic tendencies cause that's mostly what's goes on within me). I share this because I think this seems to be a great tool to understanding 'why does my character/ego behave and operate the way it does?' There seem to be a lot of resources for resolving this stuff. Thought I'd share

Yeah I'd agree with Leo. I'd also throw out something similar to the likes of Dan Harris of 10% Happier, apps like Headspace and such. Maybe throw in people like Tim Ferriss but yeah I think Sam Harris is the pinnacle of what you can take stage Orange to as far as spirituality.

https://integrallife.com/discovering-your-own-native-perspective/

I don't know if the rules for sourcing nootropics would be different than psychedelics, if they aren't I apologize. Just want to know if anyone has some good links to find modalert or modafinil online for a cheap price. I desperately need a substitute since having come off 17 years of Adderall. I can barely read, concentrate, contemplate, think at this point.

When I say enlightenment is my life purpose, I’m not saying that would be what I try to help people to do to. I’m not saying “my life purpose is just to be as enlightened as possible.” I’m saying that’s the impact I want to have in some way or another through some form of medium or domain. For example, your life purpose can be centered around enlightenment and be like Om Swami and Osho whose art form or ideal medium is writing. Or like Ken Wilber (though he’s a more advanced case I guess) and Leo who love to study this personal development and life and and all these things and study all the different nooks and crannies and details into life and your life purpose is still enlightenment centered in a sense. So what I’m saying with “enlightenment is my life purpose” is a very open thing because I don’t know what way I want that manifest at all in terms of my impact. Yeah I hear you on living cheaply and stuff. I just have a lot of fear about that because to be honest I feel like I’m just going to crack internally.

is that you?

Free Will assumes that there’s an individual separate self that has control which is false Determinism is based under the assumption of time which is ultimately false. Damn

I actual 2nd that. Don't try to make buying stuff a way out of brute force practice and discovering on your own.

THAT is why you deem him to not be enlightened? LOLOL

Holy fuck this awesome...

You're assuming there is such a thing called a "last stage". There will never be a last stage. The problem with this obsession people have with Coral is that for most people it's totally irrelevant even for their lifetime. The amount of evolution and transcendence and integration can take decades just to get to Turquoise much less than work through all the facets of Turquoise. Who do you really know and can identify as Coral on this planet? After a certain point you transcend maps. Spiral Dynamics isn't a map for non-duality. Spiral Dynamics is largely about your perspective. You can have those experiences at Blue but you'll just interpret them different than if you were at Green or Yellow and such.

Watch the latest episode and do research

Ken Wilber includes Teal and more nuanced stages. Ken Wilber's spiral is like a more nuanced "edition" to the Graves spiral. The problem I see with all these stages beyond Turquoise such as Teal, Coral, and Indigo is that I can't see any real world examples of this at all even from research. Turquoise is already soooooo rare in the world where whose your person that you can really deem Teal, Indigo, or Coral?

They’re still around today. There’s no such thing as “worst” cult. That’s all relative. Culture is itself a cult.