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Everything posted by kieranperez

  1. Yes. Here's a good question... how is knowing and not-knowing the same? If you contemplate for example who you are and it's a real honest inquiry (rather than some mechanical technique), notice how you actually honestly don't know anything because all knowing is predicated upon the illusion that there is a separate "I" who knows that. Not-Knowing and Absolute Knowing are the same.
  2. Interview with the man behind the film on Rebel Wisdom.
  4. First off, I want to be clear on a few things: I have not made any committed decisions yet Even if I do commit to this, this will still be a few years down the road before I really pull the trigger on this I’m not interested in the spiritual dogma of why this yearning is a distraction. If this is what I want, and I’m still clarifying that, I will commit to this. @Leo Gura I’ve taken the life purpose course so many times I can’t even count at this point. I’ve gotten in touch with what I really want out of life and it’s really simple: I want to know what everything is and live that. I don’t want to frame this as “I want to become God” because for me personally (I’m not talking about anyone else here. If that resonates with any of you, that’s fine as long as you’re responsible) I just feel like that’s narcissism. Consciousness has been its own reward for me. I’m just honest and frank here in that, there is no sort of contributive motive from this. I don’t want to sit here and say something like “I want to awaken mankind” or some such thing as that wouldn’t be authentic for me to say that. I don’t want to be anybody. If as a result of doing this work I’m able to really contribute to the world, that would be icing on the cake. The only thing I want is to know what everything is. Not just Absolute but relative. You and Ralston really helped open that door for me that consciousness work doesn’t just have to apply to Absolute Truth realization. I want to know what is an object, what is science, what is the mind, how did it come to be, what are my emotions, what is self, how is self different from ego, etc. I have at least a thousand questions on just relative matters. Though I don’t prefer to word it like this, I’ve had a lot of recent enlightenment experiences and glimpses recently. The other day I was driving doing inquiry and realization dawned that what I am is nothing. The rest of the day for several days there was no one there to communicate that. There was no even experience of a person named Kieran or a mind (same thing) that even came up. There was a moment where I almost died while driving (no accident) and there wasn’t even an emotional in the moment leading up or after because fear only occurs when there’s the belief that there is even a person here. The more realization dawns, the more clear it is that this is all I’ve ever wanted. There is no agenda beyond this. I’m starting to make plans on going to travel to India and give a look around to kinda see if the whole cave thing is something I feel would be right. We could call this me making small bets. I really have no desire to follow anyone. I have no desire to follow any guru or teacher (which is not to say I don’t want to get their POV so I can expand my horizon). I have no interest in even subscribing to any tradition or system. I, like you, go from psychedelics, contemplation, meditation, to yoga. I really don’t have a desire or feel any real honest truth on my end to still live in this world. I’ve done a lot of the fun crazy shit that’s come with being a human. Sex, parties, raves, some degree of athletic success, met the famous people of all walks of life, etc. and the more I do, the more indifferent and irrelevant it all is to me. Which is to say I feel indifferent to people. I want to love, accept, and be good to all people but I still have a lot of shit I need to work on. And that motive to be more loving, accepting,, etc. is simply the case because I feel happier when I am in line with that and I actually feel like that’s what I’m the most truthful and honest. Not because I want followers. I don’t want followers. All I want is to know the truth and understand and know what everything is. I’m not trying to be Superman or some Jesus fantasy and save the world. If there is any contribution that’s going to come from my life, it will be after. The Buddha’s goal was Truth, the contribution came as a by-product. As was Sadhguru, Mahavira, Christ, Ramana, and virtually every other sage that came after. Like I said above, I’m still holding off pulling the trigger. I have A LOT of emotional work I need to do, shadow work, etc. that I’m actually in the process of doing that will take time. I plan on still testing this by going to some retreats and meeting more sages (going to meet Wilber and Ralston soon) and what not. I understand I don’t need to “reach” enlightenment by living in some cave (or whatever it is I do. I’m not stuck on a cave - open to other ideas and aternatives). This is simply what I want and I’m tired of the distractions. I want to work my ass of in this and put in the work. This where I want my hard work and deepest efforts to be put into. With that said, I’d appreciate feedback.
  6. Leo’s response above is different from the case in that video.
  7. This is just getting ridiculous
  8. Profound, inspiring, and series of books but no energetic transsmissions. Agreed that though energetic transmissions have nothing to do with space and time.
  9. I already asked a post about this matter when I asked about free will in yet I was just ridiculed for suggesting that there is a free will. Can you please be clear on where you stand on this?
  10. Sounds like me with running lol. My hips are so knitted up after all these years of running that it’s been difficult to get mobility I didn’t know was even remotely possible for me. My real issue that I seem to have in body when I sit how tension I have in my lungs when I sit, particularly without backpack support. To be metaphorical, my lungs feels like I’m grabbing onto a rubber chew toy and I’m squeezing it and I can’t let go. Can’t even really do pranayama because of the amount of anxiety I have in my system. Reichian therapy like morning gagging help a little bit but not much. It’s been a huge challenge for me.
  11. If he’s the Messiah then I’m god himself... oh wait...
  12. Excellent stability throughout that whole routine. Didn’t see a bit of instability. Looks like you’re striking the hard balance between mobility, flexibility, and relaxation with solidly foundational core strength. Keep it up man! Good to see faces behind these profiles!
  13. Again, you’re relating to your own ideas. Not competing with you nor do I care to. Project whatever you want about me.
  14. If you spot it, you got it. Whatever you see in Leo or anyone is what you yourself have. So check yourself on that Actually you do. If you wanna play the game of thinking you know someone deeply by “seeing his unconscious behavior” and thinking that YOUR extremely limited interpretation based on what you see on someone forum profile or videos and fraying conclusions about that, that’s just pure arrogance and naivety. That’s about you. What you’re not admitting here is that you actually DON’T see any of those things claim. You can make certain extremely limited conclusions but that’s about it. The rest is your own projections and fantasies about him as a person. If you want to pretend you’re a psychoanalytic expert that pretends to know how to read people, go ahead and play that game. You seem to lack an understanding of how much your own minds conclusions can’t be trusted. If you wanna be loose with the titles you give people, fine. Calling someone a master though tends to have certain criterias that come with that. Spiritually MASTERY has very little do with just having cool experiences and even insights.
  15. First off, just going through his channel and his content speaks for itself that this young guy ain’t some enlightened master. Second off, you speak as though you know this guy personally. Let’s be clear, if you have never met this guy, you’re mostly just relating to your own ideas of the person. In truth, if you haven’t met him or any teacher, you don’t really know them. No one here who watches Leo and hasn’t really gotten to know him personally in person actually knows Leo. They just pretend to know Leo (or any other teacher). No one is saying this guy may not have something valuable to say, however, all because you have something valuable to say and you talk about spiritual stuff doesn’t make you a master whose put in the tens of thousands of hours.
  16. If you’re serious... 3 Volumes of Capital by Karl Marx
  17. This chubby Conor McGregor clone ain’t an enlightened master . Sorry lol.
  18. Emotional Work: I’m personally trying to not make this development too overly structured because that really engages the Achilles heal (which is also my greatest strength) - complexity. Consciousness work is unfolding as it has to. I’ve had many glimpses now and all I can say is that enlightenment is not dependent upon talent. The degree to which your state can hold such a realization (and that realization is not dependent upon states) is another matter. I do certain techniques in Reichian Therapy, psychedelics, and other stuff, but the heart of it is grounded in honesty. Which bums people out because hey, that ain’t a fancy solution. Honesty is PROFOUND. Most people, even people, have no idea what honesty is. Not in its radicalness or even difficulty (and it’s very difficult) but in the very nature of what honesty is. Simple yet profound, which is how it tends to go. Having said that I’m also seeking out psychotherapists again, which is hard for me because I’m not earning much. I’m about to switch from working 60-70 hour weeks in pest control earning just $1500-$1700 per paycheck but now to a waiter at a fine dining restaurant here in Boulder, CO where I’ll start by probably earning as much as I am now but with half the hours but I’ll be moving up in pay as I go on and improve. With that said, though you want to have a psychotherapist who works with modalities that are effective and useful, the most important part is finding one that gets you and resonates with you. I don’t mean that in some mystical sense (though that helps). I’m actually switching from a psychotherapist whose VERY awake but I didn’t find effective outside of our appointments. So I’m switching to someone else. I personally was hesitant to go back to therapy because after 10 years of pussy level therapy where nothing got done, I was on medication that made my cognition worse over time, wasted my time, and much more, I actually didn’t want to go back. I’m trying to work on a variety of things now including shadow work. Shadow work because 1... you CANNOT do shadow work by yourself. Let me repeat: You CANNOT do shadow work by yourself. I find shadow work to be absolutely crucial this day in age given polarization and I want to work on it also becaue I want to be a more responsible and effective citizen of this planet. Wilber, Consciousness, and My Vision: I moved to Boulder, CO largely because I want to be around the Integral commmunity (however that’s not that the whole picture). I want to meet and talk to Wilber and I’m serious in making that happen. So understand that my move was part of that. I’m also part of Integral Zen here. Part of it, not committed. The Integral community is VERY small for reasons partially regarding Wilber’s health. I also want to meet David Loy who I’ve yet to meet. I’m also around Ralston’s Cheng Hsin community quite often and am in contact with some of his main students that I talk to somewhat regularly. I do plan on meeting Ralston at a retreat or something. I want to meet that man before he stops altogether as he is ready to step away from the whole thing very soon. As far as my path, like I said, it’s unfolding as it has to and a lot of I think my path is going to be that of letting go of my neurotic need and compulsion to control my future and what not. It’s really simple, all I want is to know. Thats it (though that’s no small task). I am currently not a strong enough person in terms of commitment, integrity, discpline, emotional stability, self esteem, etc. to do what I want to do. I will likely need a teacher or teachers. I intuit my real life purpose and contribution won’t come till after and that just feels like that’s what true for my path despite my preferences and desire to have things be otherwise at times. Even then though, I still don’t feel that comfortable having this “mission” of “awakening the world”. I’m not here to be Superman. I understand for some VERY FEW people (and I think Leo is maybe one of them - however I don’t know, I haven’t met Leo so I can’t say and don’t want to pretend like I know him) can say ACTUAL honesty that they do have such a genuine intention and drive. However, most people I imagine say that really are just caught up in a fantasy. A statement such as that isn’t REALLY genuine, much less even remotely lived. I think Leo would be the first people I’ve ever heard of have that vision first and then work both the contribution and the realization sides at the same time and make that real. And even then, to be quite honest, I just don’t want to brainwash people with some vision and have people follow me. That’s never been my way. There have been plenty of mystics and sages like Buddha and Christ and what not but just don’t want the attention and just lived differently. That’s fine. You’re not less awake all because you don’t want that kinda stuff.
  19. @SvanteTheBeast space doesn’t exist.
  20. It’s very simple: relax and surrender. That doesn’t mean you forcibly stop anything. Surrendering the mind and doing nothing DOES NOT mean you stop the mind. It’s means you stop and allow whatever that is occurring. If you’re mind is going crazy, allow it, surrender, do nothing. If you are driving in your car, you are driving allowing your mind to do whatever it does. THAT is surrender. The fact that you’re trying to make this complex is what makes this so hard. Sit down on a chair and let the mind go on, allow the mind to go crazy and bitch and moan. If you’re sitting still fine but that’s not the point. The point, as far “recognition” (and that itself is false because that implies cognition and enlightenment has nothing to do with cognition) of Truth goes is that you’re not your body-mind. Notice how you’re aware of all that mental, psychosomatic, physical, etc. nonsense. Who is that’s aware of all those thoughts? Whose agitated? Whose confused about this technique experiencing this mental state? The whole technique of doing nothing is the recognition is that what you are is that silent presence which is everpresent and is and has always been doing absolutely nothing. Good. Now, you’ve heard a cute little story, great. Now surrender and doing nothing moment to moment through out your day.
  21. An enlightenment is not dependent upon circumstances.
  22. This is not at all universal. Most people who run hundred milers or even marathons dont really even hit that. Don’t turn this into a fantasy. Running is fucking hard when you take it on seriously. Osho aint no runner. Have him run a hundred miler in the mountains and I’d bet money that dude would still fall apart. Your mind doesn’t just all of a sudden stop or something like that. You allow the mind to do its job and staying present and a few other aspects but this idea that you have to reach exhaustion is silly. I suggest you don’t speak as though what you’re saying is universal.
  23. The short answer is yes. As a competitive runner for 12 years now, I’ve found that the more meditative you are comes from really 2 things: perfecting your craft letting go Flow states in running is really just another type of meditative state. The best way I can put this is that when you run with the aim of meditating, keep in mind that this can get more difficult because the mind will get extremely punchy. Controlling your mind is really about what you don’t do. It’s staying focused. So when you run, run. Stay there and allow. This will get hard when you get tired. If youre like me and you’re going up steep 10, 12, 14% vertical grades for miles at a time, that shit gets REALLY hard because the mind can and will react. Correcting running form mechanics really helps because it’s all about becoming more efficient. In this case it also helps it become more “effortless”. @Conscious life does make a point where it sometimes does take points of exhaustion to really reach that. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you’re meditating regularly and are really working to perfect your craft at meditation, you can bring that into running. They walk those miles. Which is why it can take them 15+ hours to finish. You’re an endurance animal that was physiologically designed to run hundreds of miles at a time. Give it time.