Serious and quiet in my New job

[George Fil]

I moved to another country and i got my first job. I achieved my goal and now i am closer to my Life purpose. However things are not going so well regarding of how my colleagues see me.

I am too serious for my job and i wear the mask of the professional intentionally . I am not a hypocrite and not fake anything, lets say I am authentic with manners.

I just want to be focus and careful about my job and to avoid the unnecessary small talk when i work. I like my job.  This seems to sabotage my reputation as a person, my colleagues see me as a serious and not funny guy and they joke each other but without me. I can socialize proper, but not when i am working or talking, i just need my time and space and then I can fun around for hours. 

I know that I should not care what other people think of me but this sabotages my Life Purpose. Although I keep push myself to socialise I am wondering how can i gather a team of interesting and intelligent people in my business when people, like my colleagues, do not even joke/communicate with me at the lunch break? 

[kieranperez]

Remember one of the principles in the course, "detachment from outcome". I'd revisit that principle in the course.

You seem too tense and involved in the significance of your life purpose. Remember, it's a balance. You know what you want and it's important to you and I recommend you treat it as such but also balance it out with the understanding of how meaningless it all is. From what I'm guessing, you seem to have this tension with people in your job because you're too emotionally invested. 

I'd really start chilling out. You sound too wound up. People won't be able to work with you if you're this uptight, as you're discovering. Which I totally get. I have this same problem when I'm around other people that may talk and play lip service to say spirituality or my other passion of running. I tend to be that guy that's just so bold and direct and no-bullshit that it actually turns people off. 

^If that resonates with you as something you do too, I recommend looking into your own defensiveness as I ultimately have learned that's pretty much what's driving that whole behavior for me. It's almost like you put on a mask of this hard nosed, serious, knowledgable, direct person that cuts the shit and is all about business but really what's going on is that you're afraid and are fearful which comes from a place of hurt, otherwise you wouldn't have that wall up that's clearly turning people off.

[Elisabeth]

On 11/19/2018 at 7:31 PM, George Fil said:

I just want to be focus and careful about my job and to avoid the unnecessary small talk when i work. I like my job.  This seems to sabotage my reputation as a person, my colleagues see me as a serious and not funny guy and they joke each other but without me. I can socialize proper, but not when i am working or talking, i just need my time and space and then I can fun around for hours.

You might want to give more attention to the small talk to connect with your colleagues. I'm not saying disturb your working hours, but maybe you could do 10 min of conversation with your colleagues first thing in the morning before you dive into your work, and then again take a coffee break at the same time they do. You could also explain your view to them, tell the them that you're open to conversation but really like to work uninterrupted - it's not you ignoring them or being condescending when you don't talk to them for two hours, it's just you really focusing.

I think being more open with them could serve you well. That is assuming that there is not too much envy going on in your environment - people as passionate as you have described yourself to be are rare, and sometimes it can lead to feelings of envy and self-pitty or being threatened in those around you who haven't found their passion or who are unable of the same work-ethics. But even that, I think, can be helped with being more honest and expressive with your truth, assuming basically good intentions from your coworkers.

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 22/11/2018 at 8:20 AM, Elisabeth said:

You might want to give more attention to the small talk to connect with your colleagues. I'm not saying disturb your working hours, but maybe you could do 10 min of conversation with your colleagues first thing in the morning before you dive into your work, and then again take a coffee break at the same time they do. You could also explain your view to them, tell the them that you're open to conversation but really like to work uninterrupted - it's not you ignoring them or being condescending when you don't talk to them for two hours, it's just you really focusing.

I think being more open with them could serve you well. That is assuming that there is not too much envy going on in your environment - people as passionate as you have described yourself to be are rare, and sometimes it can lead to feelings of envy and self-pitty or being threatened in those around you who haven't found their passion or who are unable of the same work-ethics. But even that, I think, can be helped with being more honest and expressive with your truth, assuming basically good intentions from your coworkers.

+1