Ananta

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Posts posted by Ananta

  2. Posted · Edited by Anna1

    10 hours ago, Michael569 said:

    This is incredible !! I've read a lot about MS and haven't heard of many cases of slowing down. Always thaught the lessions in central nervous system were irreversible.  Without wanting su to hijack OP's post, I'm wondering if you would be able to share a bit more of your journey and what do you think helped you with recovery? 

    Well, my story is just that, my story. I'm not advocating my path for anyone else with MS. Just so I'm clear on that, because my path became very unorthodox and not many could understand. So, with that being said, here we go....

    I've had MS for 28 years. Cant ever say I'm cured, because there is no cure for MS. Anyways, from age 21 I had taken injections they called "disease modifying drugs" for 12 yrs. I always had some sorta side effects, usually flu-like symptoms. Also, taking these injections were a constant, painful reminder of the disease. For me, having a incurable neurological disease created misery in my mind of a possible future in a wheelchair, etc. Well meaning family, friends would send me books on the newest, latest diets, exercise, medications, etc, etc, etc....I just hated it so much!!!!!

    One day i realized wayyyy too much of my attention and thought was surrounding this stupid disease and I was done with it and done taking injections, which at the time was all there was as far as disease modifiers.

    I discussed my plan with family and friends at the time, which almost everyone thought was crazy. The plan... starve the disease of my thoughts and attention. That's it. No special diet. No exercise regimen. I'm not a health nut.  Just stop taking any MS disease modifiers, no more high dose steroids during attacks, stop talking about the disease, stop getting MRI's unless really needed, stop thinking of myself as a person with MS....just STOP.

    At my next neurology appt I told my doctor I would be stopping disease modifiers, not be coming for follow ups as often and just wanted to be treated symptomatically if needed with low dose steroids, etc. She had a hissy fit. She was a prominent MD at the Cleveland Clinic Mellon Center and she said "you can't do that!" I said, "really?, watch me!" She then said she would not be my doctor anymore if I went off disease modifying meds. So, we broke up on that day...lol. So, I found another neurologist trained in MS and she agreed to be my doctor with me only being treated symptomatically. 

    Soooo, it's been about 16 years now that I started this. It took a little while for things to slow down, as slow as it is now. Meaning I had some MS attacks early on, but not as many and not as severe. I wouldn't allow anyone to talk about MS. It was a taboo subject really for quite awhile. About 3 or 4 yrs ago, cant really remember. I had a appt with my neurologist because I had a problem and wasnt sure if it was MS related. She had said she didnt think so, but that my last brain MRI had been 5 yrs and we should get another to compare. I really didnt want to, but got it anyways since she insisted.

    When I went back to find out the verdict she said, "well, it's not often I get to say this, but other than a little bit of new scattered demyelination your lesions are shrinking!" I said, "how is that happening?" She said, " we don't really understand it fully, but it's good, very good". 

    **(Now lesions will never truly go away completely, unless they are replaced by CSF- cerebral spinal fluid, which to my knowledge isnt good and a sign of overall brain atrophy, but that's not what was happening in my case. Lesions are brain scar tissue and increase typically due to the inflammatory processes of MS. They can only shrink like mine if the inflammatory process has stopped or slowed considerably to my knowledge.)

    So, now a days, I still dont discuss MS at home, unless having a problem. Since I do still have lesions, even tho smaller, I do "very occasionally" have symptoms from those lesions. But, true MS attacks or relapses are from "new" or worsening demyelination/lesions. 

    I really only discuss MS sometimes on a forums usually to help someone else or if asked a question. 

     

  3. Posted

    55 minutes ago, Sonya said:

    So I ask myself, maybe I'm low conciousness still and neurotic about money or surviving, or do I have a fear inside of me?

    I can be rough on the guys here that tout wanting the "hot" girl at all expense. I think its shallow as hell.

    Well, you have the same vibe to me as that. I call girls like you "money hungry", sure you probably have some fear of being destitute deep down or maybe you like shiny stuff hanging around your neck and wrists. That's for you to figure out.

    But, you like what you like I guess. Is it shallow. Yup. Doesnt mean your not a good person otherwise though. So, dont be too hard on yourself about it.

     

  10. Posted · Edited by Anna1

    Just now, this reminded me of my EMT private ambulance days. We use to transport dead bodies from homes and morgues to funeral homes.

    Welp, if your death is for unknown reasons the coroner (medical examiner) in US decides if you need autopsy. If so, your skull and chest/abdomen are cut open, organs removed, weighed and inspected, they will then go in a blue bag and stuffed back in your chest/abdomen.

    They put 4-6 staples in your chest/abdomen and 3-4 in your skull to hold it somewhat together. I say "somewhat" because my fingers sunk into the back of someone skull once. I screamed and almost passed out (I was young, like 20). LolxD

  11. Posted · Edited by Anna1

    12 hours ago, Khron said:

    I have been depressed since my early teens. I started to see light at the end of the tunnel around age 34, then I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and I fell right back down. I am 38 now. MS derailed all the progress I thought I was making and led me to actualize.org.

    Welp, I wasnt a depressed teen, but after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at 21 yrs old I became depressed and terrified for my future.

    I was depressed on/off for almost 2 decades. I'm even a suicide survivor. It wasnt until after my attempt and then finding Eckhart Tolle in 2009 that things started to turn around.

    However, the MS had slowed down considerably when I was in my mid thirties, enough for me to go back to work (I had been on disability) and now 40's it's like I don't even have it. Seriously, you'd never know and last MRI few yrs ago showed my lesions were shrinking. Why? Dunno.

    Sooo, I can say, allowing your thoughts to create misery in your mind is 99% of any battle, imo. Try to do Self-inquiry and see that the thoughts aren't you. You can see them as not yours, unloading some misery for yourself.