It is precisely how it feels. Nothing more, nothing less.
Don't try to locate it in 3D space. Rather just feel it exactly as it feels. That's it. It's going to feel amorphous, vague, and mysterious. Keep your awareness right on top of that. Don't try to turn it into something concrete or visual. Pain is not visual. Its vagueness is part of what it is.

Self-Love is a very high-level abstraction. Brandon's self-esteem is more mundane and nitty-gritty because you cannot just tell people "self-love" and expect them to grow from that. They wouldn't know how to actualize it.
Also, Brandon never realize how deep self-esteem goes because he never had the necessary mystical experiences to access Self or Love. So his work cannot take you to the highest God level. But it's still great for ordinary people who aren't advanced enough yet to reach God level.
Notice that his work hinges on rasing one's awareness. AKA raising consciousness. But he never tells you what consciousness is. It's LOVE!

There's no limit. Beyond your wildest imaginations.
But people will probably kill you if you get too pushy. Progress is a slow and painful process.
That's my point. You're not appreciating how pervasive survival is. Survival is always needed (if you care to survive, and you certainly do, otherwise you wouldn't care about being in a commune to begin with).
There cannot be any kind of stabled formed experience without survival.
Survival needs are what make a commune less than utopian.
You can certainly find some decent high-consciousness communes, but they will still have many common social problems. Or even worse, they could be toxic cults behind the scenes.

That's created a deep wound.
The ultimate solution is to realize that your identity extends to encompass the entire Universe, which of course includes your rapist and any others who harmed you. To realize that all that is YOU! And that you are Love.
This requires a mystical experience of Self & Love. Best way to get it quickly is through a psychedelic like mushrooms, LSD, ayahausca, or San Pedro cactus.
Who knew that the cure your trauma could be sitting in a pot at Home Depot? Better than wasting years in therapy.
Mystical experiences have a profound healing power unlike anything which you can accomplish through the ordinary state of mind, reading books, listening to experts, or doing techniques. You need to access a level of love deeper than your trauma. The deeper the trauma, the deeper the required love to heal it.
Confronting the person is not necessary once you confront your SELF.
Once you access Divine Love, you will have a powerful capacity for compassion and mercy, which you will use to understand and forgive your abuser.

@Consept If you want a trainwreck, go for it.
The thing about bad relationships is they tend to turn into bad ruts. Moving in together, marriage, kids, and by that point good luck getting out.

This sounds like a bullshit story you tell yourself.
Most people who describe themselfe as "lonely" in this community are just really terrible at relating with other human beings. They build an ego around their ill perceived superiority and cant see that the real problem is general weirdness or some psychological projection they suffer from. Even if you are "more developed", then it should be easy for you to find friends on your level, in abundance. 

I have friends on every possible spectrum of conciousness and I can relate to them just fine. Of course, most of my closest friends are high value, high profile individuals but that doesnt mean I cant go out and do stuff with my stage blue cousin and enjoy it. 

 
There is different advice for different developmental stages when it comes to this.

For some people this means dropping every expectation and that will do the trick.
For others, some good old discipline and persistance is the right track.
Some mindset switch is propably the best for the next one. 
You need to find that out for yourself, nobody in here can tell you that. 

The best advice I can give you is to find a mentor that has the success you are looking for. Asking such questions here on this board will confuse you even more, trust me. 
 

@CreamCat A good start would be to HEAR the critique and take it seriously rather than denying it or attacking the messenger.
Awareness alone is curative. Yet even that is denied. Let's start by admitting there is a problem. How it gets balanced out we will figure out along the way.

Overkill, bro.
Don't waste your time hoarding knowledge. Rather just listen and start practicing.
Maybe just write down 10 bullet points per video. Only the biggest ideas.

Today i was sitting with my best friend in a restaurant in Tel Aviv.
He said that he won't vote for Bibi, but that the "Likud" (bibi's party) itself is good enough.
I said "How its can be good enough?! Its a right wing conservative party. Its obvious that "blue&white" (centrist party) has much more good values... and the economic of them is much better..." and he said "why its better?" ... i said also that our party much more support gays. And he said that likud also supports...".
He is my best friends and we have quite similar values in general lines.
And then i was thinking like: wait a minute... we are RIGHT NOW dont agree about x y z. Lets just hear what he has to say NOW and talk about those details for theirselves. This is much stronger than the picture i have of the values and all of that.
And then it just threw me to the present moment which, this is what there is! So like lets get out of the invisible magnetic field of the ideology and be just here. Only here. It was a very special feeling.
Still I want to hear from him that he is closer to my party values cause its not easy to give that up (and i believe he is because i know him for years) but also im very curious to see more the liquid phase between the "ideas".
Maybe the fact that he is not israeli in his origin makes him see the things differently. Maybe he doesnt know "likud" well enough. But even if its true, the controversy we had did something to me.
 

That's not going to work.
The whole point of a relationship is to grow together. As soon as that stops working you're doomed.
For a stable long-term relationship you must find a partner who is willing to grow with you. Otherwise why even be in relationship?
Do not underestimate the seriousness of a value disconnect in a relationship. You are going to be able to ignore that and just keep things going. The value disconnect will infect everything eventually.

Of course.
Very common trap.
Lots of Green shadow on display these days.

That's a big if.
And presence has many degrees. You can be 1000x more present than you are right now. And it's also a matter of consistency. Can you stay present for 1hr straight? If you could, you'd already be enlightened.

To be fair, wanting to grow financially is still a form of growth (just a relatively low one). But hey, many people need to start low. Moving from Blue to Orange will often involve growing financially. Remember, financial growth is not simply about earning more cash. To really grow in this area usually requires some significant and serious mindset shifts. For example, for a person to go from working a 9-5 job to being a successful entrepreneur usually takes a lot of inner growth. It's not simply a matter of money. You have to start to think about the world and yourself differently.
Starting a business is one of the best and most practical ways to grow yourself as a person, especially within Tier 1 of the Spiral.
The problem is that many people who want more money do not even understand that money is a function of one's being. So when you ask them, "Do you want to grow as a person?" they don't make the connection between that and earning more money. They think they can just have lots of money while staying the same inside. Which would be disastrous even if it ever came to be.
A powerful way to help people grow is to show them how things like money, sex, success, fame, a good relationship, a good family, good physical appearance, and happiness are best achieved through deep inner growth, not by chasing externals directly.

Sounds to me like you just need much more experience socializing.
Socialization is just like tennis. To get good at it you must have many opportunities to practice.
So very practically you need to change your life around so that you have more socialization opportunities on a regular basis. The rest will mostly auto-correct.
You can't get good at socializing if you're alone most of the time.
There is no specific way that you must be when you socialize. You can basically be totally natural unless you're some kind of psycho, in which case you'll have to reign that in. Be chill, friendly, pleasant, playful, honest, expressive, and relaxed. That usually works best.
You'll be amazed at how often people just accept you exactly for how you are. Perhaps the biggest mistake of learning to socialize is to try to act a certain way to please people or meet their expectations. Just be you. Not everyone will jive with you, but that doesn't matter.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Act with strangers the same way you'd act with close family. Assume everyone already knows each other. Don't try to act cool or impressive.
As simple as all these things are, it can take years to learn. Especially if you've developed bad habits.

FYI, it takes most people 5 years to move up one stage. And that's assuming the person is doing some kind of personal development work. If they are just coasting through life, forget about it.
Which is why changing people doesn't usually work.

Presence

It is what it is. Arguing with people is largely a waste of time. If you care about truth you will sit down and do the work.
Question what reason is. Study what post-rationality is. Don't take my word for it. I just don't have 10 years to explain to you all the limits of reason. It is your job to figure that out. I just give quick pointers. Under each pointer might lie 5 or 10 years of study and contemplation. So of course without doing that the pointer will mean very little to you.
Don't confuse this work with any kind of proof. We're not in the business of proof or argumentation, we're in the business of self-reflection and exploration of how our minds work.
The only way you can learn how your mind works is by studying how your mind works. Not by listening to arguments.
Everything worth knowing can be found directly in your experience, so there is no need to argue about it. Observation work is necessary.

Probably because you care about how your friends will judge you. Which is of course just you judging yourself via them.

Sadhguru is basically talking about selective breeding and artifical selection, which is how we create different dog breeds and domesticated animals.
But also, Samskaras are not just genetic. Family lineage has a huge cultural and memetic component. Things get passed down through culture, not just genes.
If you have a giant family of goldsmiths, they will certain infect your mind with goldsmithing memes. Just like how a family history of sexual abuse is likely to pass on to the children. Not via genes but via parental abuse.
To reduce Samskara to genetics is to misunderstand it.
African Americans have a collective Samskara due to slavery, even though one's genes might not have slavery encoded into them.

Well, firstly, 20 mins is the bare minimum. It usually takes 20 mins just to calm the mind. So you could meditate longer.
Secondly, part of meditation practice is training to quickly let things go. It's a skill.
Thirdly, you could even practice a bit of meditation while around people. Mindfulness shouldn't end out the door of your house.

@jd1279 None of what you said contradicts what I said. All of that is dependent on different starting conditions. What the conditions and who is advantaged or disadvantaged is irrelevant, since reality unfolds in chaotic and backward ways, with one part sloping up, another sloping down, and then many oscillations and reversals.
The development of nations is not linear, it is chaotic.
Europe had a tremendous amount of competition which lead to lots of development.
The actual details of the history are not important. What's important is the general principle that in a chaotic system small differences in starting conditions lead to very different evolutionary paths.
And the ultimate point is that it is foolish to blame anyone for these developmental paths. The paths are precisely whatever they are and no one is to blame (as Sam Harris likes to do). It is like blaming a 3rd grader for not yet being a 5th grader. Well, some people take longer to reach 5th grade. Rather than blaming them, help them along.

Yes
This case is one example of what is meant by patriarchy.
As a basic example, many video games don't even allow the player to create a female character AT ALL! You are just forced to be male! And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Firstly, Green isn't seeking to replace one inequality with an opposite one. Green simply asks for equality.
Secondly, in a patriarchy, the whole point is that women CANNOT do whatever they want about men because women have been denied positions of power.
To make this example clear for you, women in Saudi Arabia cannot do whatever they want. Men actively prevent them.
But you will say that America is not Saudi Arabia. True, it's more subtle in America, but it still exists. You just don't notice it because you're male and it doesn't even register on your radar because it is irrelevant to your ego's survival.

That's because you're looking at it from a Stage Orange, selfish perspective. As long as it makes your dick hard, you're good. But there are other concerns.
For example, have you considered how such overly-sexualized depictions affect the self-esteem of young girls? What if you had a daughter and she grew up with self-esteem problems because her tits did not look like those of Tomb Raider? Then you, as the father, would have to deal with that.
Sarkisian's point is not that all sexuality should be banned, but that things are overly-sexualized in ways which are designed to cater to men's desires, and that women are not fairly depicted as they really are, but as men want them to be for their sexual gratification.
How would you feel if all video games were made to please the desires of butch lesbians? You wouldn't like it. How would you feel if all guys in video games were depicted with giant dicks, making your girlfriend ask you, "Why is your dick so small?"
See, when the shoe is on the other foot, you start to cry and whine about how unfair things are. But when things are skewed in your favor, you think it's great and there is no problem.
I'm not saying Sarkisian never goes too far. She's certainly stuck in unhealthy Green. But the problem is that you still don't understand her. Which is a problem not for her, but for you.

Not sure what your problem is here. What he said is fairly reasonable.
You should distinguish between a thing being true vs how others might use it to justify whatever devilry they want.
For example, it is a general truism that men are physically stronger than women. But some devil could use this to justify raping women. Just because he does that does not undermine the original truth. Truth is always used by devils for selfish purposes. Clearly Sadhguru is not doing that. He's not justifying anything, he's explaining the notion of Samskara, which is a very powerful notion that would be worth your time studying and understanding. Samskara is not just genetics, it's broader and more profound than that.
Hehe... yeah. That's exactly what high-consciousness teachings sound like. Because you are judging them from a low level of consciousness, lacking Sadhguru's decades of deep mystical experience.
To understand a sage you must access the states of consciousness he has accessed.

What?? No! Just go out and be social and share yourself freely. Why are you constructing this pathetic gloomy narrative?
Go have fun. Then come back home and meditate your ass off. You can do both.
Don't make your socializing too serious. A Buddha should be able to go out to a bar and drink some beers with some strangers and talk shit. Then return to his Buddhahood.
Remember, life is long and you got plenty of time to space stuff out. You don't have to do it all at once.